Give me a Kokonoi x reader fic that’s not about Koko being reader’s sugardaddy. I’m begging. Force this man to fall in love! Shock him with a person whose affection he cannot buy! Send me any recommendations! Please!
If you are okay with an SMAU format, “She’s So Mean” by @rozcdust is 💯 💯 highly recommended! It is my fave Koko x reader work! It’s multi-chaptered too, if you are looking for longer works ☺️
It is set in the Bonten timeline, with reader being a nursing student who is Baji’s sister. If you are kinda particular about the Y/N / reader / OC debate, I highly suggest you treat the MC as an OC because her personality is very distinct. Also, some info are not canon-compliant here so if it’s something that you are particular as well, you can disregard this suggestion. 😅
However, an incentive to read is that not only is Keisuke alive here and we have the Baji trio in the Bonten timeline, Kazutora’s kindness is shown so beautifully here. I liked how he helped the reader when she was dealing with her own trauma, because if there is anyone qualified to do that, it really is Tora. The balcony conversation is honestly one of my favorite scenes here.
Hope this helps! 🫶
PS: Here’s the link but I am not sure if it works well since I am using a phone to make this post and we know how *amazing* Tumblr’s interface is: https://rozcdust.tumblr.com/post/671848909419724800/shes-so-mean-masterlist
|°-context: kazutora is crushing on you but he sees you and akkun walking together and assumes that you're both together making kazutora's heart to break not knowing that you and akkun are simply friends - mainly fluff not angst
final time line: 4th Division Captain: Kazutora Hanemiya Vice-captain: Atsushi Sendo (Akkun)
kazutora couldn't help but notice the scene that he had accidentally stumbled upon on, before he was gonna ignore it and think nothing much of it until he double looked and his heart managed to stagger in emotions, akkun walking with his school crush. kazutora's school crush.
despite akkun being Vice-captain of the forth division and them being good friends there's still things that kazutora doesn't mention and one of them being is who his heart flutters to.
his mind went to so many scenarios and reasons as to why, out of everyone it'd be you two who walk together and not only that but also holding little brown bakery bags, as if you both had bought a sweet desert together, and are about to enjoy it in each others company.
'no no no no no... their not though? are they?!' his mind was more than a mess
theres no other explanation other than your both either on a date or dating. or even worse, in an actual relationship. kazutora's mind went to so many lengths as he pondered and stalked you both, hiding behind corners, bushes and bus stops to wherever you both are walking to,
he was desperate to find out what was going on even though he knows he needs to let go and back tf up.
'akkun has never mentioned having a girlfriend though, let alone that he's talking to a girl...' that certainly reassured him a little but only for a few seconds when his overthinking took over again
'but maybe that's cause no one asked or mentioned anything! and here he is with the girl that I like, for fucks sake!'
he tried to get close to the both of you to try and hear what you guys were talking about but while doing so self awareness had hit him, he didn't want to get caught lurking around, if a bystander seen what kazutora was doing then a clear title would be placed on him 'stalker'
he kind of just stood there in the middle of the pathway, watching as the both of you walked ahead having your own little moment. it was like kazutora was a small puppy being cast out and away from it's owners. for a short moment he had grown upset, he accepted that him and you were never gonna be because Akkun has already taken your attention.
when he took half a step backwards to turn around and not invade your privacy any longer, it was then that you had turned around making kazutora to be captivated. it wasn't just your beauty that had made him freeze and his heart to grow wings and flutter but it was you smiling and waving at him... him, kazutora, no one else, your eyes were stuck onto kazutora.
his heart was left uncontrolled and skipped all around his body whilst his main focus was to bite down the corner of the inside of his mouth to stop him from smiling like a little kid and getting all giddy for you just simply noticing him. it felt unreal to him in that moment that he had forgotten to wave back, and he was too busy on not smiling like an idiot that he didn't even smile back at all. well now he feels like a complete fool and should be shut out of society forever.
*inserts image of grieving shinji on a chair* -how kazutora feels right now
a whole week went by after that encounter, and since then in school kazu and you haven't had a full conversation, sure you've exchanged a few small words but then he'd cut it off with an excuse to leave all due to wanting to give respect for you and akkun.
before, the both of you would be talking non stop in the middle of lesson, being the teachers most annoying students that can't shut up and are always an nuisance to deal with. it's gotten to the point where after you both stoped talking even the teacher pointed it out Infront of the whole class, "some argument happened between you two?" like c'mon... why is it always those teachers that think they can get involved and think pointing things out to be funny. they get in-between everything.
it left an empty pit in his stomach not being able to talk to you the way he wants to. all because in this setting he chose to put his friends first before himself.
-- some time later ---
"so akkun, you got any plans with y/n?" asking that question hurt him more than it should have, but he needs to get over it soon enough. only after he gets an understanding at what stage the both of you are at. 3 month mark? secretly wishing.
"don't think so, why'd you ask?"
"nothing nothing, just curious. I'm surprised that she'd be with someone like you" it was supposed to come out as regular boy banter and laugh it off but instead he didn't watch his tone and grew blunt about it as if he'd meant it. in which he did.
it took akkun a few silent seconds to process his response and what kazu had just assumed "be with?" purposely ignoring kazutora's sudden burst of agitation and instead focusing on the question itself. "you think me and her are together... as in dating?"
"well you two seem to be quite close, no?"
"kazutora. no. were friends, full heartedly friends" while motioning his hands out to emphasize how baffling and wrong kazutora's question was.
if crickets were around the city they'd be loud, but instead all there could be heard was the click of kazu's tongue before replying "...Oh. shit"
akkun couldn't help but snort out a laugh, whereas kazutora on the other end was looking back and regretting everything which included ignoring you. but he had a good reason to, right? I mean how exactly was he supposed to know that you two were just friends?
many ways actually, sure, but he put his friends first and that's what had mattered, before at least. now, kazutora is trying to figure out ways on how to approach you without seeming like a douche for abruptly leaving and then coming back.
"wait, you like her??" it only then clicked into akkun's head making him perk up about why you even became a conversation topic.
"I bet she hates me" burrowing his face into his hands and feeling all sulky. didn't fully answer akkun's question but that small sentence answered a lot without meaning to.
"you do! you like-like her!" first time hearing about this and he instantly stood up from his seat, oh he was gonna have fun with this information. he can either tease the hell out of kazutora or help him out. but currently he'll torment him first.
"keep it down! dont need anyone hearing" lifting his head up from his hands and looking around the open area
"who's gonna hear? I'm not name dropping, or unless you're embarrassed" tormenting kazutora by making him think of you.
"of course not... maybe. but that's besides the point" kazu ended up explaining things from how he saw you and akkun but left out some details such as him following them to how things went with you and kazu at school.
"dug yourself a hole there I'll be honest, why didn't you ask me first before assuming?" -akkun
"didn't want to draw much attention on the subject"
"oh right right..." not right actually, don't exactly know what that was supposed to mean but didn't want to press on about it. after a short moment of silence it seemed like something was supposed to be done otherwise dragging the gap between you and kazu any further and it might be too much to fix. though luckily a little plan had settled into akkun's mind, after all he was close enough to you to be considered good friends. "I'll help you, don't worry"
♡----
a/n: I could have written the plan/aftermath n' that but I got lazy
I want more Good Timeline Fourth Division Toman shenanigans like this. Thank you for writing this piece 🥺 It gave me the serotonin boost I needed for today ☺️
Also, I wonder how high school Toman would be like?? In the KMG timeline, if I am not mistaken, Chifuyu and the Mizo Mid became schoolmates. Given that Baji, Ryusei, and Chifuyu were middle school classmates, does this mean that one school would house both the Good Timeline 1st Division and 4th Division once they become high schoolers? 🤔
Also, just in case that Baji still got held back, imagine Kazutora clowning him by asking him to call him senpai 😭
Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, sugar daddy/ sugar baby relationship, age gap(both are consenting adults), suggestive, police, brief misogyny
pt. 1 | previous | pt. 17 | next |playlist
You decided to take a well-deserved break from your scheduled meltdown consisting of sobbing over your thesis, so as soon as you arrived at the address Takeomi sent you, you curled up in his lap like a cat, burying your face in his neck as his fingers delicately traced patterns across your back.
His warmth and the softness of his touches almost lulled you to sleep, and really, you wouldn’t have minded a nap, God knew you needed it, but apparently, Takeomi had different ideas.
“What do you think of that, sweetheart?” He asked as soon as Kokonoi was done presenting his idea on how to fix their issues with a rival gang, the contract he came up with displayed on the screen through a projector.
You whined, raising your head to glance at it as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes with a pout, displeased at the interruption.
“Omi… What is a liability?” You blinked up at him, enjoying the annoyance on his face.
“Why are you even asking your dumb bitch for advice?” Rindou sneered, causing Kakucho to throw a laptop at his head.
“Don’t call her dumb.” He frowned, arms crossed.
“Thank you, Kaku-kun.” You smiled softly, and as soon as you knew Bonten’s attention was back on Kokonoi, you turned towards Takeomi, frowning.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
He smugly smiled.
“It’s a matter of time before you admit to them you’re not stupid.”
You huffed in annoyance, going back to nuzzling his neck.
“You’re on.”
He continued to periodically ask you about your opinion on legal matters, and even if you noticed 20 legal mistakes and 4 different spellings of arbitration, all wrong, you denied everything, even when Mikey told him to stop, and honestly, if he weren’t so goddamn comfortable, and so fucking cute when he frowned at your progressively dumber and dumber questions, you would have smacked him.
Bastard’s lucky he’s hot, and you’re weak.
So, you knew you were signing up for noise and annoyance when you agreed to go to Takeomi’s place, where Bonten apparently had a ‘game night’, if screaming at each other and pulling out firearms over poker can even be called that, but hiding in Takeomi’s room, on his bed, surrounded by textbooks as you worked on your thesis, you couldn’t help but consider storming over there to strangle them one by one.
How Takeomi didn’t get a noise complaint, only God could tell, because Jesus Christ, they were so loud, Sanzu’s screeching combined with Ran’s yelling destroying your eardrums, even from two rooms over.
Shaking your head to summon what little focus you had left, you lit up a cigarette, starting to tap away on the laptop. You had just a little over 500 words left, and you knew you’d be able to finish the thesis, get someone to proofread it and send it to your professor in about 2 days if you finished now.
Again, God had other plans, and as you extinguished the cigarette and went to take a sip of your coffee, you found the mug empty.
You frowned, but considered living with it, until your stomach let out a dramatic, death metal worthy growl, and you got painfully reminded you forgot to eat.
Fuck.
You had two choices, starving, or shuffling to the kitchen which was right by the living room, divided only by a bar because Takeomi apparently really like the millennial idea of an open concept.
What a fucking boomer.
You tried to focus on typing, but all the words left your mind as your body demanded to be fed, and finally, after a 10-minute struggle, you decided to be quick and get something to eat.
It is not you feared Takeomi’s colleagues, no, quite the opposite, you considered them to be fucking clowns, but you were stressed out of your mind, and really, dealing with them would have sent you over the edge.
You didn’t have much of a choice if you didn’t want your stomach to throw an actual tantrum and bring out hunger cramps on the table.
Stretching as you stood up from the bed, hearing a few satisfying yet concerning cracks from your back, you creeped out of the room, not caring that all you had on was Takeomi’s button-up you took the liberty of stealing, and a pair of shorts, your hair a mess and your blue light glasses slipping off.
Kakucho waved at you as you creaked the doors to the living room open, and you smiled back, tiptoeing to the kitchen.
“How’s the thesis going?” Takeomi raised an eyebrow, briefly glancing up from his cards to look at you.
Asshole.
“What thesis?” You tilted your head, a cutesy frown forming on your face.
“The one you’re writing for your do-“
“Takeomi, I have no thesis to write, did you confuse me for someone?” You pouted, putting water for your instant coffee on the stove.
“The-“
Your eyes widened, and your lip quivered as you stared at him, wide eyes with tears forming.
“Omi, are you cheating on me? I have no thesis to write! I don’t even know what that is!” You allowed a tear to roll down, voice cracking, and internally, you patted yourself on the back, “It sounds like such a long word… Am I not good enough for you?”
Takeomi threw you a dark look.
You were winning.
Before you could make a full-blown scene, Rindou interrupted.
“Make me something while you’re in the kitchen.”
It took every bit of self control to not rip off his arm and beat him with it.
You bit the inside of your cheek.
Now, insults and assumptions about your intelligence you could deal with, but casual sexism?
That is where you draw the line.
Containing the urge to go over there and smash a plate against his head, as the fucker deserved, your water boiled, and pouring it over your instant coffee, you fucked right out of there, ignoring his complaints.
Once safely bunkered up back in Takeomi’s room, you let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.
Your thesis stared at you.
You stared back.
If God isn’t dead yet, you’ll kill him yourself for having to do all this bullshit.
The things you do for education and dick.
Just as you made yourself comfortable in the nest you created on Takeomi’s bed, the doorbell rang.
“Y/n, could you get that?!” Sanzu yelled from the living room, and taking a few seconds to compose yourself as to not scalp him on sight, you hopped back up again, forgetting the fact you’re holding your textbook as you slammed the door to Takeomi’s bedroom behind you, opening the entrance.
You were pushed out of the way, almost making you lose your balance, and before you could as much as ask what the fuck is going on, or even look up, a gruff, serious voice spoke.
“We are here to detain Akashi Haruchiyo, as we have reasons to believe him to be connected to gang-related violence and drug trafficking.”
You exhaled sharply.
Fucking cops.
You were too fucking tired to be dealing with this bullshit right now.
Sanzu opened his mouth, already getting up with a nervous face, and internally, you prayed the motherfucker would sit his ass down.
Takeomi threw you a look, and in an instant, you knew what that meant.
He will win this little ‘Prove y/n isn’t dumb’ game he started, and have the audacity to be a smug bastard about it.
Your eye twitched before you turned towards the two policemen.
Takeomi watched in amazement as seemingly everything about you shifted, your stance going from ditzy to confident, your back straightened and shoulders back, chin up high and a look of authority on your face.
You were so fucking hot.
Clearing your throat, you stepped between Bonten and the two policemen, raising a hand to let your sugar daddy’s idiot brother know to shut the fuck up, a mask of calm indifference on your face.
You didn’t fuck with criminal law, it grossed you out and bored you to death, but all law students had to take a course in every type of law there is, so you knew you could hold your own.
Besides, you had many friendly interactions with the police in the past.
“From now on, no one in this room will speak without their lawyer present, but me. Secondly,” You crossed your arms, the book tucked between them, coldly glaring at the police officers, “No one has permitted you to be in here. Step outside, right away.”
“Ma’am, we-“ One of the policemen tried to speak, but you interrupted him, keeping your voice calm and civil.
“You are intruding on private property, without showing any court proof you are to be in here. Step outside.”
The policemen took a hesitant step outside, now on the doorstep.
“Show me your badges and a court warrant signed by a judge.”
The policemen exchanged a nervous look as they showed you their badges, clearly a bit intimidated.
Takeomi couldn’t blame them.
“The warrant, gentlemen?”
They stood, stunned.
“Ma’am, we do not have a warrant, we came here as soon as possible.”
Your expression stayed cold.
“So allow me to get this straight. You intrude on my partner’s private property, without a warrant and, correct me if I’m wrong, no legitimate reason to make an arrest?”
Takeomi’s heart fluttered at you calling him your partner.
“We got an anonymous tip-“
“Oh, anonymous tip? Is that what the police consider legitimate proof these days?”
One of the policemen seemed to be losing his temper.
“Listen, lady, what credentials do you have to be speaking with us like that?”
You raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“I’m a paralegal, soon to have a doctorate.”
The man huffed a laugh.
Your mask didn’t slip once.
“Don’t make me arrest you for defying the law you claim to know so well, missy.”
You smiled, politely, kindly, already extending your hands towards the officers.
“Oh, if you’d like to, please do! I’d like to use my call immediately, though. Please call Taiju Shiba, I’m sure you have his number, tell him to pay my bail, he will positively be thrilled!”
The policeman froze at the mention of Taiju’s name, his eyes going wide and the snarky remark dying on his.
“Sorry, ma’am,” The policeman who was calm up until now spoke, “What did you say your name was again?”
“Y/n l/n Shiba.”
You could practically hear their blood running cold.
You kept your smug smirk at bay.
Taiju has always made generous donations to all overcrowded, underfunded police departments in the district, and they knew your name well already by now.
You never really intended to take his last name, but you relented when you were a teen, thinking it’d be easier to get about with such a well-known, powerful surname.
You’ll never forget how happy Taiju looked when the name slipped your tongue for the first time.
“Feel free to call Taiju to check my credentials.”
The snarky policeman shook his head, laughing nervously.
“That won’t be necessary, miss Shiba, we are so sorry to disturb you and your partner.”
Your cold eyes bore into his.
“Thank you. I never want to hear you attempted to speak to any of these gentlemen without a criminal lawyer present again,” Your gaze shifted to the other policeman, “Or I will take you to court based on abuse of power and trespassing on private property, as well as two attempts at unlawful arrest. And I will make sure you lose your badges faster than you can spell ‘law’. Are we clear?”
The men nodded.
“Verbal confirmation, gentlemen.”
“Yes, ma’am.” They said in unison, bowing slightly, “Again, our apologies.”
You stood with your arms crossed as you watched them leave, exhaling a sigh of pure frustration before slamming the doors open.
You turned your glare on the 6 idiots on the couches.
“So let me get this straight.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, eyes closed, ”You bunch of imbeciles are internationally wanted criminals, and none of you even know how to talk to cops?”
“You’re smart?!” Ran finally managed to blurt out, eyes wide.
You felt yourself losing your composure.
Marching up to him, you slammed the thickest book he has ever seen on the table, almost breaking it, getting into his face with murder in your eyes.
“I have more brain cells in my non-existent dick than you do in your entire stick bug body. Don’t fucking try me, Haitani.” Standing back up, your glare passed all of them, “I will go back to working on my thesis. If I hear a word over 75 fucking decibels, I am breaking my laptop over your stupid fucking skull. Got it?”
They all nodded, eyes wide, clearly in shock.
Takeomi just sat on the side, smirking, enjoying the show.
“All of you are brainless idiots.” You scoffed before slamming the living room doors behind you.
Barely a beat passed before you opened it again and pushed only your head out, your face now a bit softer.
“Except you, Kakucho, you’re bae.”
Kakucho nodded, forming half a heart with his pointer and middle finger.
“Thanks, bae.”
Nodding, you slammed the doors behind you again.
“The bitch is crazy.” Rindou muttered, staring at the thickass textbook like he just saw God.
“I know.” Takeomi sighed, happily, and Sanzu almost gagged.
His brother was a fucking simp.
Kakucho picked the textbook off the table, slamming it on Rindou’s face.
“Don’t call women bitches.”
Rindou held his bleeding nose, glaring.
“This is why you don’t get any bitches, Kaku.”
“Rindou, I’m gay.”
🔖Taglist (closed):
@1818cigarettes @babu-haitani @dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @lagrimasdeglitter @kisekihany @missarabellla @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @emilywaters @dinve @levistiddies @bxnten @spookykoko @graythecoffeebean @yukihime-mikeys-girl @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @crybabylisa @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @gigibobigi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @xashiui @bontens-whore @nqctre @kennyb0y @chaoticyuna @haitanihime@adeptiixiao @denkis-slut @wakasagurl @dontfollowmelol @yukimaniac @marrymemanjiro @bajitorasprincess @somniari-94 @haikyuu-simps-assemble @gulfkfl @the-invincible-mikey @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @snowyseungs @sanzuswh0re @itsyournumber1whore @lem0nsquizy (second taglist in the comments! please let me know if i forgot to tag you 💕
the one of the most saddest moments is when you hunt for a fic you want to reread and you realize that blogger deactivated, so there’s no chance you can read the fic ever again 🥲
AO3 Comments are SO SO SOOOOOOO important because you can only leave Kudos ONCE. You add to the hit count ONCE (every 24 hours).
So whenever someone updates their fic, the ONLY way an author knows who their regular readers are is if they comment on each chapter. And we WANT to know who's still reading.
Believe it or not, some of us think about the name that pops up constantly in the comments and go "omg I can't wait to see what they think of THIS SPECIFIC SCENE cuz I KNOW they'll say something about it!!!"
can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.
• pairing: wakasa x gn! reader, shinichiro x gn!reader, takeomi x gn!reader
• request by @wakasagurl: hyee since your req is open can i req this? i’ve been wanting it along time tho😭😭😭 and if possible wakasa and shin ( you can do others too !) thank you <3
• genre: crack
• note: THANKS FOR THE REQUEST, i decided to add takeomi bc why not, hope you'll like it!!!
Synopsis: You have had a crush on your older brother's best friend for years now, Shinichiro Sano, the biggest loser there is to exist, but he shares the same pining for you?
Pairing: S.sano x gn! reader
Genre: Fluff-> Suggestive-> Angst -> Fluff, SFW
TW: Age gap (4 years) smoking, crying, cursing, Waka being mean, Shin being the biggest flirt ever, sooooo much tension Phew~
WC: 2k
A/N: Reader is around 18 here and Shin is 23. Before you come at me saying 'omg the age gap' shush.
Song rec: Just One Day by BTS (listened to it on rep while writing.)
You frowned at the grey clouds, meandering malevolently overhead, the moisture in the air made you sniffle as you found yourself tracing your steps to Shin's shop.
A weird dread lingered whenever you came to your brother's best friend's shop. The smell of gasoline and that crooked smile on his face, smeared with oil and dirt always sent a catastrophic spurge of butterflies in your stomach.
"Sano san," you called, entering the half-open shutter. Half-open to stop the water from entering. You were drenched from head to toe, clothes sticking uncomfortably to your skin and the cold made you shiver.
Shinichiro peeked at you from under one of the cars. His black tresses stuck to his forehead due to the sweat and humidity under the machinery, "Hey Y/N", he drawled, his eyes squinting to adjust to brightness as he saw your pathetic and soggy state, "shit, you're soaked." He said stating the obvious.
With a slight groan, he got out from under the car, his breathy voice sending shivers down your already trembling figure.
Dusting his pants he looked at you, "Got caught in the rain?" He said with his onyx eyes seemingly undressing your soul.
You bob, "Do you mind if I stay here till the rain stops? It's really cold."
Shinchiro nods as he picks up a towel to wipe his sweat with, throwing it somewhere on one of the bikes. He looks at you for an uncomfortably long time, his inky, dark eyes raking on your drenched silhouette. He has to clench his fists to stop him from staring, he sighs and walks into the storage as you stand awkwardly, soaked like a duckling in the middle of his shop.
He comes back with a jacket, his posture straight and wide shoulders pushed back as he walks. He grabs the jacket with his hand and comes close to you, you can smell his peppermint aftershave, his chest inches away from your face as he puts the jacket on your shoulders, fixes the collar, and tucks your hair that falls loose behind your ear so that it doesn't get stuck in the zipper.
It takes him all humane strength to not caress your cheek and pull you close as you look up at him with those doe eyes of yours.
"Feel warm enough?" he says softly, his voice all raspy like he is thirsty for something.
You nod and flush, looking away, feeling as if you are melting from his intense gaze.
A breathy laugh escapes from his nose as he pats your head, "So cute."
You gulp as your heart thumps in your chest. You've had a crush on Shinichiro since you first met him when your older brother Wakasa brought home a kid with a funky-looking hairstyle. You were 8 at that time and Shin was 12. You were experiencing those cliched-brother's friend trope, god you have rejected so many boys just for him.
And being so close to him, even after all these years, sent a catastrophic spurge of sparks, his voice, his scent, his gaze--it was almost painful, trying to take each breath in the heavy air.
Shinichiro breathes shakily as he looks into your eyes, he seems to be in a spell-bound trance at the sight of you...and you are so close to him, his arms itching to embrace you, his fingers parched for the sensation of your skin underneath them, it was almost perverse how his desire for something so tender and non-sexual was killing him from inside.
"Sano-" you whisper breathily, eyes flickering at the taller man
"Shin," he corrects you, his fingers still resting behind your ear, “It’s Shin for you.”
You gulp and nod softly, heart muscle thumping like a jerking light bulb, spasmodically. Your hands and feet were cold, it was like adrenaline was pumping in your body, everywhere except your face, which was flushed.
"Shin," you correct yourself softly as if relishing the syllables of his name on your tongue.
“Good job,” he says, his eyes filling with something so raw, you felt undone by it, The hand that rests behind your ear now moved to rest on your cheek as he slowly closes his eyes and leans in.
Your heart speeds up at the gesture, but there is this void in the pits of your stomach that makes you move away, “stop,” you say softly.
Shin snaps out of the trance and takes a step back, “shit, Y/n I am so fucking sorry, I should’ve asked before, is ms sorry I misread your actions.” He sighs guiltily, his stomach almost dropping at the thought that he made you uncomfortable, "I am sorry, I really am, I should have been the mature one in this situation instead of getting carried away, you are still a kid.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
Your heart hurts at the word thought that he still thought of you as a kid, you were an adult, what difference did it make if he was just a couple years older than you?
“ ‘S not why I moved away,” you say and look at the ground, knowing that if you look into those abysmal eyes, they would draw out the tears in yours. “Your explanation just proved that I did the right things- you feel as if that desire was impulsive, lust-fuelled.” Your voice cracks as you explain it to him, “I don’t want that, I don’t want that half-hearted kiss, without any romantic feelings just because of one day, I don’t want that Sano san.”
His throat felt dry at the pain in your voice, the crack in your words and the use of his family name, “who said to ya that it was a momentary thing?”
“Please,” you chuckle bitterly and sniffle, “you confess to every other girl, how am I different?”
“You are different,” he says sternly and takes your hand in his. His rough, calloused hands, the skin cracked at the intense work in the shop. “Yer’ special to me.”
“Bet you say that to every girl,” you say on the verge of crying, you would’ve died, take your feelings to your grave, but this was so much more painful.
“I don’t,” he says softly, the smile lines on his face lighting up his pale skin, “I’ve only said it to you, never seen anyone as perfect as ya'. I am addicted to you.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
"Then why didn't you- why didn't you show any interest before? Why didn't you ever confess before?" You ask, harshly, there is a rawness in your voice, a slight desperation. You don't even try to hide your emotions anymore.
"I thought you'd be weirded out," he says and almost traps you at how close he is to you, you can hear how his heart is hammering against his slender frame, "I thought you'd be weirded out by the fact your nii-chan's best friend had taken a fancy in you."
"Shin," you say sternly and grab him by the collar of his work shirt. His breath hitches as he keeps a hand a few inches above the wall where you are standing, to prevent himself from stumbling into you. His breath is fanning on your face, a trembling arm propped over your head and face barely inches away, "do you really think I care? You are barely 4 years older than me, we are both adults, why are you hesitating?"
Shinichiro just looks at you, speechlessly, his eyes wavering between your eyes to your lips and then back at your eyes again, "dunno." He says, "been so attracted to you for the longest time, dunno why I am hesitating."
You gasp at his deceration, heartbeat speeding rapidly, he is just inches apart, you can feel his minty breath hitting your face, goosebumps erupting on your arms.
Shin leans in, as if testing the water, not quite close to your lips as his half-lidded eyes undress your soul, "maybe I am hesitating 'cause of Waka."
"Waka-nii always scared boys away from me, back in middle school, I never protested though, my heart was already on his best friend after all," you whisper out, your fingers holding the fabric of his
"Fuck, you've been waiting for that long?" he says, his breath a little unsteady at the proximity, "been' waiting that long for me? What did you even see in me, I had the shittiest hairstyle and was the biggest loser ever."
“I saw you, the real you,” you say softly, “I saw your soul, kind, compassionate and so caring. You say and wipe a small spec of grime against his porcelain and statuesque face. “I saw your resolve, that toothy grin, hands so caring they carry the weight of the worlds.”
His heart thumps at each sound that leaves your mouth, shivering at the chafed intensity of your words, he doesn’t speak. He doesn’t move.
“You are so warm, Sano san, you are warm like the sun, I can’t help but bask in your glory,” you say with a cathartic outpour of sealed devotion.
Shinichiro Sano is silent. He breathes in your words, your presence and the reality called forth, "hell, you're gonna make me cry." He says, his nose slowly brushing in a tint of delicate pink.
"You made me cry so much more," you chuckle and shake your head.
Shinichiro's eyes gloss in empathy, " I'm so sorry. You know, I guess I'm still the old stupid Shinichiro, huh? Always making dumb mistakes. But from now on… I'll change. I'm never gonna make you cry again, I promise. I'll try and give you all the happiness I never could when we were younger. I won't ever leave you unhappy, I promise."
Your heart thumps wild against your chest, eyes filling with a warmth that you can't quite control at this moment.
Shinichiro's mind runs into an overdrive at the thought of you yearning for him for so long. These past few years were hell for him but for you? You've succumbed for so long. His mind runs to think of Waka, and how he would punch his face at knowing what transpired in his mind for so long...but it would be worth it. Waka would kill him, and break his bones, but it would be worth it. You would be worth it.
And then Shinichiro inches closer, without paying heed to the consequences of his actions. His eyes flutter to your lips, begging, starving, longing for your words of agreement before he makes an advance.
"Kiss me Sano san," you say softly, your breath fanning against his raw and bitten lips.
Shinchiro smiles, boyishly, his white pearlescent teeth, glinting under the dim light of the shop. The sound of rain pattering against the metal shutter echoes, but nothing is louder than your heartbeats, "it's Shin to you."
He says and closes the distance, finally. His lips moulded against yours, hands holding your face, shoulder hunched upwards, and head leaned towards you. His long black lashes flutter in delight as you kiss back, the pace slow, sensual and full of longing.
When you pull away, you rest your head against his, and just bask in his embrace, wordlessly, as if recollecting all the memories of all the time lost.
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" you hear a piercing shout that makes you whip your head and sweatdrop to see Wakasa.
"Finally?" Takeomi peeks from behind Wakasa with an amused grin and looks back, "Oi Benkei ya gotta pay me up!"
You hear Benkei sigh and Wakasa glares at them...everyone had a lot of explaining to do.
PPL WHO ASKED TO BE TAGGED IN THIS FIC (temp tags, lemme know if you wanna be added to my permanent taglist): @hunterelys, @butterfl1ies, @n3zuna
psst, hey, over here! Uhm hi :) Do you like reading? If so can you please check out my first novel? I am a 15-year-old author who needs support, I assure you it won't disappoint! It's okay if you don't buy, it would be enough to share the link with someone else who might be interested! I humbly request you support my career as a child author by purchasing my book. This would help me to write more books in future. “Of Vengeance and Ashes” -> BUY NOW!!!!
Also Check out:
L'appel du vide (✔️)
(Synopsis: Your husband, Hanma Shuji is dead! With no memories of what transpired two days before his death, you team up with Tachibana Naoto, Chifuyu Matsuno, Ryuguji Ken and Mitsuya Takashi, you go on a journey full of betrayals and twists. Can you find out what really happened to your husband? 🌼 ☕🪐🧸🦋)
Synopsis: Sakusa was the type to always get things done on his own, but now that he's forced to juggle between his successful pro-volleyball career and being a single dad, what happens when he enrolls his daughter in a new preschool and meets his daughter's new teacher? Will their relationship remain professional or will it evolve into something more?
There's just something about Ran that everyone likes. Lmao.
Hinata is having a crisis rn because he thinks Ran is taking his place lmao
As usual, let me know what you thought! Leave a comment or send an ask.
threadfic miya twins character study / sakuatsu 6.7k
miya twins angst, hurt/comfort, loneliness, learning about self worth, skts but mostly a miya twin focus
There’s this thing in most SakuAtsu fics that always gets me, but I never feel like it’s gone into enough, and it’s when there’s a fight/miscommunication between the Miya twins. There’s always some angst and then they get into a fist fight and all is well. But 9 times out of 10 what happens is, it seems like Tsumu is being a whiny brat over something small, he brings it up, they fight, and they settle it like ‘Yep, Tsumu’s just dramatic’, and it always feels like the whole thing boils down to Tsumu being unable to move on, Samu being more mature, and Tsumu ends up kind of being comedic relief for getting so worked up. (Also, half the time, it’s Tsumu being worked up because Samu tells everyone something or whatever, and in the end Suna and Samu are like ‘You’re being a brat lol’ and that’s that). And, without fail, it drives me CRAZY bc it always feels like it never addresses the root issue, so it never feels resolved to me.
PSA: I’m not saying this as like, "These are real people- how dare you ignore their feelings!!" but more like, "You're setting up this character with really valid emotions and reactions, and then failing to carry them through and it falls flat. So, here are my thoughts:
The reason Tsumu gets so worked up when it comes to Samu is because Samu is his Most Important Person. Nothing & no one has ever been, or will ever be, more important to him, and he is fully shameless about it.
It's so obvious, even when they bicker. But Samu, from an outside perspective, but also from people who know him, sees Tsumu as his twin, his brother, but not necessarily his Most Important Person or Thing.
Maybe he was when they were younger, but as they grew up, he sort of moved on. Found other things more important and whatever. This is usually where the issue happens: many fics will see the moving on as part of maturing and "resolve" the issue by implying that the solution is that Atsumu needs to move on, and then Omi comes in, etc., etc., everything's good! But that never seems right to me.
I need Samu to be confronted about the fact that Tsumu has always loved him before anything, has always put him first, and yet he, time after time, doesn't do the same.
He tells Suna about quitting volleyball first, he sees Suna more than he sees Tsumu, he doesn't tell him they're dating. And he and Suna- who's known them for a long, long time, who knows how Tsumu is- will regularly poke fun at Tsumu for being dramatic, whiny, overly sensitive, and it hurts Tsumu to know that the two people he's known the longest- including the one person who's supposed to be his other half, who's supposed to always be by his side and always have his back- never try to understand him.
They never seem to care about him as much as they care about each other. And worse than that, they make him feel like something's wrong with him for caring about them the way he does. Like he's too much, too immature, too clingy, and they tease and mock and belittle, knowing exactly where Atsumu's most vulnerable. Crossing all the lines of ‘too far’ and then, instead of apologizing, they laugh it off and tell him to grow up.
And everyone seems to agree.
Just once, JUST ONCE, I want Atsumu to have enough.
I want him to realize that he doesn't deserve that. That nothing's wrong with the way he loves, and the way he needs love.
I want an Atsumu who realizes he's giving himself up over and over just to be ridiculed.
And sure, Samu checks on him when he's sick, and Suna invites him to drink after they play against each other, and eventually they even ask Tsumu to officiate their wedding so they don't have to fight over him, but that's not what Tsumu wanted.
Tsumu wanted to be Samu's best man, the way they'd always planned since they first found out what marriage was. And if, or when, Tsumu ever got married, he'd ask Samu to be his. But it was supposed to go both ways. And Samu was supposed to call when good things happened too (like Suna asking him on a first date, or the loan for the restaurant being approved), or even bad things, not just out of a sense of obligation to make sure Tsumu was okay. And Suna was supposed to invite Tsumu out whenever he was nearby, the way Tsumu did, not just drop a time and place as their teams lined up to shake hands.
Tsumu is always treated like the Least Important Person, and eventually he has to recognize it's not good, it's not fair or healthy or right, and he owes it to himself to stop, because losing his Most Important Person is less painful than what he has right now (at least he hopes). So he starts treating Samu and Suna the way they treat him.
He answers calls (most of the time) but rarely calls first.
He doesn't send pictures of things that remind him of them anymore.
He doesn't send "I miss you" or "Love you" anymore, because they always laugh and brush him off.
He visits the restaurant if the team is in town, but he stops taking the train over on weekends just to say hi
When something big happens, he goes home alone and puts his head between his knees and breathes, because he ‘won't call Samu.’ He won't. Because Samu wouldn't. And it's hard. God, it's so, so hard, and it hurts more than he'd thought. They'd say he was being dramatic, they'd tell him to grow up, get over it. But the way neither of them even seem to notice makes him realize it was the right thing to do.
It's also hard because now Tsumu struggles a bit (a lot) to let people in. Maybe it's not that deep, maybe it's not that big a deal, but if his twin thought he was too much, didn't even care all that much about him in the end, despite the fact that Tsumu would do anything in the world for him, then who the hell would do otherwise? His twin brother and their oldest friend didn't stick around, so Tsumu doesn't really believe anyone actually will.
He becomes closer with his teammates, slowly: Bokuto loves a lot like him- giving all of himself to everyone he cares for- and even with a boyfriend, he still makes so much time for Atsumu, still meets him where he's at, treats him how Tsumu always wanted someone to. Shoyo and Omi become good friends too, through trial and error. Shouyou is easier: Tsumu knows not to expect the same kind of attentiveness from him- he's kind of flighty and distractible, which isn't bad at all. He's so genuine and good regardless.
Omi takes longer, given their sort of warring personalities, but in the end he sees Atsumu as he is, and never asks him to change. He never asks more (or less) from him. Never makes Tsumu feel like he's wrong. In his own ways, Omi pours himself into their friendship wholeheartedly, and the same way he recognizes Atsumu's ways of showing it, Tsumu sees that Omi is doing the same. For once, Tsumu doesn't feel like his care is unwanted.
But even so, new friends (or maybe more?) can only do so much. It's harder and harder to admit it now that he's proven to himself that he wasn't the one in the wrong, but he misses his brother, misses his oldest friend, and he knows they don't miss him. And it's embarrassing, it's shameful, to know that, despite everything, he would still do anything for them because that's just who he is, who he's always been. No matter what, Samu will still be his Most Important Person, and Tsumu can't do anything about it.
They still see each other, sometimes, and Tsumu breathes in each moment like he's been starved for air. He tries not to let it show, just how much he misses them, how happy he is to see them, even if it's not the same. Hell, they're probably happier to see him now than ever before, mentioning how much he's grown up lately, how much better he's doing now that he's not so dependent on them, on Samu. And it hurts infinitely more to hear, to know that they prefer this censored version of him to the real one. The one who was unashamed of how much he loved them, how much they meant to him.
It takes a while for him to heal from that, actually. His new friends help. Omi helps a lot. Bo helps the most- he's the first person Tsumu ever tells about it all, and he's the only one who he trusts to understand. Even then, there's no one who can really share the feeling. Even Bokuto can only speak about friends, his two sisters much older. It's different from a twin, and he knows that. So, to an extent, he has to go it alone.
That's the worst part. Tsumu always believed that being born a twin meant you were never supposed to be alone, not truly. How could you be born part of a perfect matching set only to end up on your own? It felt wrong, it always had. That was why Samu had always been the world to him. For Tsumu, being Samu's brother was as intrinsically part of him as his hands, his eyes, his legs; there was no way to remove that part of himself, not without far too much pain. So he remained Samu's brother, even if it was only in his heart, buried deep so it couldn't be used against him. It was a secret treasure just for him, one that hurt to hold onto, but would hurt much more to lose.
Everything kind of goes to shit eventually, when after a year or two, Omi proposes after they win the Olympics. It was on international television. It made headlines. The sports channel and gossip rags were talking about the same thing for once.
And then Osamu called.
Tsumu almost didn't answer.
He was so happy and he wanted to share it with Samu, but he wanted to hoard it to himself more. But Omi left him alone with a look that said 'answer it,' so he did.
It was silent on the line when he answered, and Tsumu didn't say anything to break it. It was Samu who spoke first.
"Yer gettin' married?"
It took a moment to respond. Samu's voice took him by surprise, how quiet and shaky it was. "Yeah," he said. "Eventually."
"I didn't know the two of ya were together."
Tsumu could've laughed at the irony of it if it didn't sting to hear.
"Never came up, I guess."
"I- Yeah. Guess not. Not much does, these days, it seems."
Atsumu pressed a hand to his mouth and stared at the door Omi had left through, pushing down the urge to scream or maybe cry. It had been two or so years since he'd left, and Samu had never even noticed the difference until now.
"What happened?" Samu asked, voice shaking that way it did when he refused to cry. "What happened to us, Tsumu?"
Atsumu took a deep breath, letting it out with a sigh. "Samu, if you don't know, it's not gonna matter."
He wasn't trying to be obtuse. He didn't want to guilt Samu into anything. But if Samu couldn't tell that he'd caused this, that he'd always been the one to push that distance further and further... If he couldn't see that much, Tsumu didn't know if he could fix it.
He couldn't do it on his own. He couldn't put himself through that again, not after he'd put this much work in to help himself.
"I don't- I don't know. I don't know why ya wouldn't tell me. I thought we told each other things like this."
Tsumu's laugh was harsh. "Ya can't be serious."
"What’d'ya mean? I'm dead serious, Tsumu."
"After Suna? Ya think ya have any right to say that?"
"What-I- that was different, Tsum. Ya found out eventually, and not because I got proposed to on live television."
"'Cause it was so much better walkin' in on the two of ya fuckin' after ya told me ya couldn't come visit 'cause ya got caught up at work!"
"And I told ya I was sorry! I didn't think ya were gonna come over, ya lived two cities away!"
"And I wanted to see ya!" Atsumu yelled. "I wanted to see my brother, was that so bad?!"
Of course that wouldn't have occurred to Samu, Tsumu thought, because he wouldn't have done the same. Samu only came when Tsumu invited him. At the very least he'd call ahead. He never surprised him. He didn't go out of his way because he wanted to see Tsumu.
"It doesn't matter," Atsumu said, sucking in a deep breath. "I already told ya. Look I- I don't wanna do this. At all. Right now. I just- I just got engaged, Samu. I just won the Olympics. You've had forever to do this, why'd'ya hafta do it now?"
Samu was silent for a long time. "Is it so bad? Did I do somethin' so bad to ya?"
"Samu, please, not- not now."
"Ya can't even tell me? I'm your brother, Tsumu, we can't just-"
"Brothers?” Atsumu laughed. It came out like a sob. "Samu, when was the last time you acted like a brother to me?"
"I- what?"
"Samu, when- God, I don't wanna do this right now. Fuck." He wished he could go back just five minutes and not answer the call. Hold onto Omi instead.
"Do ya even know when I realized ya were tearin' me apart?" Atsumu asked, throwing an arm over his face. "It's been two years now, and ya just now noticed. You and Rin just- the two of ya- ya don't even know how much ya hurt me. Ya didn't even care."
"H-hurt ya? Tsumu, what're ya talkin' about? What's Rin gotta do with this?"
"Look, I don't- I just- do we hafta do this now?"
"Yes we hafta do it now!" Samu spit. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"God, I just- fuck, Samu, I couldn't stand it anymore! You know I love ya more than anythin'. Do you know how it was for me? Always 'Tsumu's too much', 'Tsumu's being dramatic', 'Tsumu's too clingy'. I just cared about ya! But it was too much for ya. Both of ya. I thought, for so long, that somethin' was wrong with me. I thought 'even my own brother thinks it's too much, the way I love people'. Do you know how long it took for me to realize it was okay? That there wasn't somethin' wrong with me?
"Everythin' I did, everythin' I am was too much for ya. Too much for Rin. And ya couldn't even just- just pretend, or even tolerate it. Ya made- ya made me feel so bad. All the time. And ya never once- never made me feel like ya gave a shit about me.
"Yer my twin, that- to me, that means everythin', Samu. It means everythin' to me. You mean everythin' to me, and it- it hurts so bad, knowin' ya don't care, knowing I'm not the person you wanna tell things to, the person that ya rely on. God, to you I'm just- what? A burden? Just the person ya ended up stuck with? Did ya ever want me around or was I just there?
"‘Cause I always wanted you around. I wanna tell ya everythin', good or bad, big or small. Yer the one I've always- always relied on. I always told ya everythin'. And ya know what you did? Ya went and told Rin. Anythin' I told ya, secret or not, ya went and told Rin. And when you had somethin' to share, who did ya go to? Rin. Always Rin, never me. "Ya never cared that some things I only wanted you to know. Ya never cared that I wanted to be there to cheer you on or support ya. Ya never- I was never important to ya, not like you are to me. And that's- there's nothin' I can do about that, but I couldn't keep puttin' myself through it. So ya don't get to call after all this time and say I owe ya anythin' because we're 'brothers’. Ya lost that right, Samu."
Tsumu broke off, only vaguely realizing he'd ended up yelling. He was breathing heavy, eyes stinging, throat tight. This wasn't how he'd wanted his night to go. He should've been spending time with Omi, thinking about a ring since Omi had proposed with a medal.
He could hear Samu breathing over the phone, ragged and uneven, hitching with nearly silent sobs.
"D'ya see, Samu?" Atsumu whispered. "It's not- I can't fix this. I spent- I spent so long chasin' you. So long pretendin'. I won't do that to myself again, Samu. It hurt too much."
"I didn't-" Samu sounded broken. "I didn't know. I didn't mean to-"
"I know," Tsumu interrupted. "I know ya didn't, but that doesn't mean anythin' to me. I never wanted ya to treat me one way out of pity or guilt. I wanted it because yer my brother, and if ya- if ya cared about me like how I care about you, it wouldn't... It doesn't matter now.
"Look, Samu... I'm not mad at ya. Not anymore. And I still love ya more than anythin', that'll never change. But I got engaged tonight. I won the Olympics. And I don't wanna hurt right now. I just wanna be happy for a night, Samu. Can I have that much from ya, at least?"
Tsumu waited until Samu choked out a fragile ‘yes’, and then hung up and tossed his phone away. That was not what he'd envisioned for tonight. He felt simultaneously drained and like he might burst at the seams.
It took a while for Omi to come back, but when he did, he found Tsumu with his head between his knees, breathless and shaking as he cried.
Omi didn't ask him about anything, he just wrapped him up in his arms and told him he'd done well, and he was proud of him. It didn't ease the pain, but it helped some.
It helped because, even after everything, it was hard for Tsumu to not feel like he'd overreacted.
In his mind, Samu was talking with Suna right now, complaining about how Tsumu always did this, blew up for no reason just to make a fuss. Even after all this time, Atsumu wondered if he was the one in the wrong, the one making a big deal out of nothing, causing Samu problems again.
But Omi was there, holding him, reminding him with his words and his presence that it wasn't Atsumu's fault. That he hadn't done anything wrong by setting his boundaries, by recognizing what his love was worth.
They didn't celebrate that night, or even the next, but eventually they did, and Atsumu was happy even if he'd always pictured that his brother would be there for a moment like this.
Omi asked at one point when Tsumu would want the wedding, but Atsumu just fell silent and Omi understood. Nothing was going to happen yet. Tsumu has given up enough, but he couldn't... he couldn't give that up too. He may not have been Samu's best man, but he still wanted Samu to be his. and that couldn't happen right now, so he couldn't even begin to think about the rest of it. But Omi understood, and he was patient.
Time passed, as it was wont to do, and Tsumu settled again— or at least he would have, but Samu and Suna were acting... weird. It wasn't really anything obvious at first, especially since neither of them ever brought up the phone call, but...
First was Tsumu's mom, who mentioned on their weekly call that Samu had been bothering her like crazy, asking about their high school days and what she remembered about the three of them. Then Kita texted saying ‘Do you know if Osamu is in therapy? it may be a good idea.’ Which in Kita speak meant ‘Your brother's acting weird as fuck, tell him to leave me alone and bother someone who's paid to put up with him.’ Then Samu texted, saying he was going to be in town for a weekend. He'd be really busy, so he was getting a hotel room so he wouldn't disturb Tsumu with his comings and goings, but he had a potential opportunity to open up a new branch and he had to check things out.
“Could we meet?” he'd asked, and Tsumu stared at his phone for a long time, because they'd never been the kind of people who had to ask about things like that. “‘course,” he'd texted, biting his lip. “Lmk when you have time, we'll go out to eat.”
Then Suna called out of the blue after a game that Tsumu had watched on the TV in the living room. "Rin?" Tsumu answered, turning the volume down even though he liked watching post-game commentary. "Ya okay?"
"Did ya watch the game?" Suna asked, no greeting or anything.
"Yeah, just had it on. T'was good."
"It was ratshit," Suna grunted. "They got through half my blocks no problem, and shut me out more than not." Atsumu blinked at the TV screen, playing highlight reels of the game. The game Suna had just called him out of the blue to talk about.
"Wasn't yer best," he admitted slowly, Suna could be a bit prickly about his abilities when he didn't do well. "But ya knew goin' in yer usual tricks wouldn't be the most effective with them. An ace like that is hard to stop, and he happens to be built like a tank. Ya had a lot of good receives in the back row, kept yer team goin'."
Suna hummed, and Tsumu could hear the weary disappointment. "I guess. I just wanted to do better."
"I know ya did." Because Suna always did. Tsumu wondered if maybe Suna had meant to call Samu instead? "But what's done is done, no use workin' yerself up about it. Practice harder, so they can't shut ya out next time."
"I know. I know, yer right, I'm just..."
"I know. You should have Samu make ya some hirata buns. Ya always liked those when we lost."
Suna was quiet for a moment. "Yers are better than yer brother's," he finally grumbled, and Tsumu's cheeks flushed at the unexpected praise. "But yeah. Thanks, Tsum. I gotta go, coach wants to debrief. Thanks for pickin' up.”
Atsumu stared at his phone for a long time after the call ended.
Weird things like that kept happening. Tsumu came home to Omi unboxing a package of individually wrapped onigiri from Samu's shop that he'd found waiting by the door when he got home. Suna kept sending him pictures of the stray cat that kept showing up behind their apartment. Kita texted again asking ‘How have you been, Atsumu?', which made Atsumu's lip start wobbling and Omi called him a crybaby. Even Bo asked him at practice if something had happened with Samu, because apparently Akaashi had gone in to eat and kept having to text Bo questions because Samu kept hounding him about Tsumu; how he was? Was he doing well in practice? Did he have good friends on the team? Was Omi good to him?
Eventually, Samu was in town, and they met up to eat at a Chinese hot pot place between Tsumu's home and Samu's hotel. It was their first time seeing each other in person since before the phone call, and Tsumu was nervous. He'd thought about inviting Omi with him, but Omi had straight up refused. "Call me if you need me," he'd said, with a voice that said he'd be there in a heartbeat, but he told Atsumu this was something he probably had to do on his own. And Samu hadn't brought Suna, which was rare even when Suna was in season, so Tsumu agreed to return the courtesy. Just them, then. Tsumu and Samu, Samu and Tsumu. What a ridiculous thing to be scared of.
In the end, though it was just the two of them, they got enough food for four. it was almost distracting enough to drown out the inescapable awkwardness between them. Almost.
Atsumu didn't want to bring anything up, not when they were having an almost normal meal again, so he let Samu guide the conversation.
Samu told him about the property he'd gone to visit here in the city, a small restaurant that had been a ramen shop before it shut down. Tsumu looked at the pictures he was shown and agreed that it looked like a good place, though Samu would need a refrigerated display. Samu told him that their ma was trying to grow radishes in her window boxes, and Tsumu laughed and pretended that was the first he'd heard of it. Samu explained, staring fixedly at the vegetables floating in the spicy broth, that Suna thought it was best he didn't come this time, so it didn't feel like the two of them were ganging up on Tsumu again when they apologized, and Tsumu-
Tsumu blinked.
"If we came to ya, both of us at once, wouldn't it still feel like it was us versus you?" Samu asked quietly. "I didn't- I didn't tell him everythin' you told me, I swear, but he's always been smarter than us, he put it together since... with everythin' you said the last time, I didn't wanna seem like we were just apologizin' to get over it, ya know? And we thought, maybe, showin' up together might not be the best way to show we heard ya and everythin'."
Tsumu blinked at Samu, who blinked at the sweet potato that bobbed to the surface of the boiling soup.
"Look, Tsumu," Samu said, "I don't know when... when I started treatin' ya so bad. I don't know, and I don't know how I never noticed, or how I never saw when you… when you had enough of it. I never wanted to push ya like that. I never wanted to hurt ya. I know it's too late to say stuff like that, and I know it doesn't really matter, not when it can't change anythin', but it's true. And I'm sorry we made it impossible for you to talk to us. I know you tried to, and we just- just laughed it off. That was... fuck. I'm sorry, Tsumu. I really, really am. And ya don't hafta forgive me for it, not now, or- or ever, if ya don't want to. What we did, what I did- it wasn't fair to you. And more than that, I never should've... yer my brother, Tsumu. I should've been there for ya, I should've been the one you could come to when ya felt like shit or wanted to cry about somethin'. I should've been the person you could tell about yer first day in the big leagues, or yer new friends, or, or gettin' engaged. And- and ya still told me about so much of it, even when I-" he broke off with a frustrated sound. Samu had never been good at talking.
"I betrayed yer trust in me," Samu forced out. "And did it over and over, even when ya kept givin' me more chances." Samu took a deep breath, and he finally looked up to meet Tsumu's eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't keep yer secrets. I'm sorry I didn't listen when you needed me to. I'm sorry I ever made ya feel like you were wrong for trustin' me, for believin' that you deserved someone to be there for ya. You do, Tsumu. You always did, and I'm sorry it wasn't me.
“Most of all," he took a deep breath and started again. "Most of all, I'm sorry I made ya feel like you weren't a brother to me.
"We've always been more different that people think, but I still should've met ya halfway instead of makin' you cover the distance alone every time. I should've known how you are and what you need, the way you always have for me. And Rin- I'm not gonna apologize for him, he'll do that himself, but you always took care of him too. The three of us... we should've all looked out for each other, but you took care of all of us, and Rin and I just- we just looked out for ourselves. I'm sorry, Tsumu. And ya don't hafta let me, but I wanna make it up to ya. I wanna be- I wanna be brothers again, how we used to be. And i'll do the work, i'll go the whole distance, i'll do whatever ya need. You won't be alone in it anymore, I promise ya.
"I just want my big brother back, Tsumu. I miss ya, and I can't do all this without ya."
Atsumu met Samu's gaze, shell shocked at the sudden apology, and neither of them spoke for a long moment. Then suddenly, they both sniffed and tore their eyes away-the kind of in sync move that used to get them "There it is! Twin telepathy!" when they were young.
"Fuck, now I'm cryin' into the soup," Samu grumbled under his breath, wiping at his face roughly with the back of his wrist. "Why'd we hafta do this right now?"
"Hah?! Yer the one who brought it up, what do you mean we?!" Tsumu cried out, wiping his own face with a handful of paper napkins. "This is yer fault, not mine!"
"It's not my fault I had to apologize!" Samu retorted on instinct, and both of them paused. Tsumu sent him a thoroughly unimpressed glare- as much of a glare as he could manage when his eyes wouldn't stop watering.
"Say that again, slowly," Tsumu invited. "Yeah, yeah, I heard it as soon as I said it," Samu grunted, face pink. "Are we gonna keep talkin' about it or can we eat?"
"Well for one, I don't think yer in a place to be makin' demands right now," Tsumu said with as haughty a sniffle as he could manage. “And for two, I get hungry when I cry so food now, talk later."
"I know ya do, that's why I asked in the first place," Samu grumbled, but he swiped a piece of Tsumu's lamb and swished it around in the mala broth, just how Tsumu liked it, before reaching across the table and dropping it in Tsumu's dipping sauce.
It was hardly anything really, but Tsumu stared at it for a while. there were some things, he supposed, that Samu had noticed about him. Had remembered through the years. It didn't absolve him of his wrongs, it didn't fix things, but... it was nice to know, anyway. Tsumu wondered if Samu thought of him when he went out to eat with Suna, the way Tsumu always did; scanning the menu briefly to figure out what his brother would order if he was there.
Did Samu think about him when the first fireflies of the season began to appear, the ones they used to chase around with a glass jar in late summer?
Did he think of him, like Tsumu did, when that song came on the radio- the one their ma would sing out loud while she cleaned the kitchen, Tsumu and Samu watching cartoons in the next room?
Did he think of him, sometimes, when he woke up and there wasn't someone there? A matching set that had climbed under the covers with him when the thunder got too loud?
Even after all this time, so much of Tsumu's world was built by Samu. the smell of fireworks and takoyaki during matsuris, the sailor moon theme song they performed for their grandparents when they were six, the scar on his big toe where Samu nearly bit it off as a baby.
It was impossible to go a day without thinking about him, even if he tried. Samu was ingrained in his very being, always had been. Was he the same to him, tattooed on his soul from start to finish?
They ate in relative silence: Samu bracing himself for what would come next, Tsumu trying. his best to just make sense of things. A long time ago he'd posted on one of those advice forums, hurt and confused and searching for answers. They had come, mostly in the form of "Family or not, a relationship like that is more harm than good. Cut ties, put yourself first!", and some half dozen variations just like it. Tsumu had gotten sick thinking about it. He hadn't deleted the post because it was against the forum rules to delete once people had answered, but he made sure to reply to everyone. ‘You don't know what you're talking about. He's my twin brother.’
Dinner was long, though not as long as it could have been if they'd talked, but Tsumu still didn't really know what to say as they left. He wanted to say something like "It's alright, I forgive you, let's go back to how we were before" but he honestly couldn't really remember- couldn't remember when "before" was. It was hard, actually, to remember the last time Samu hadn't... hadn't scared him, at least a little.
When Tsumu went running up to him with something to say, or when he found himself crying after a bad game, or when he wanted attention just because- he couldn't remember the last time he hadn't gone expecting a weary sigh, an eye roll, a derisive laugh.
So he couldn't say it was okay. But he had a chance to have his brother back, and even if it was a bad decision, even if it meant he was the vulnerable one once again... for Samu, he would do it. He would do it again, with his trust and his hope on full display.
But this time- this time, Samu needed to do it too. Belly up and helpless, knowing the costs of failure. Tsumu wouldn't be the only one, not this time.
"I'll let ya," he finally said, the two of them frozen under some streetlight, hands shoved in their pockets to protect them from showing too much. "You and Rin, if he wants to. I'll let ya make it up to me. I want ya to, Samu, and I mean that. I don't want- this isn't some power play, alright? I'm not tryin' to guilt trip you into doin' whatever I want until I decide yer forgiven. you know I'd do anythin' for ya, even now. So, don't do this ‘cause ya want somethin' from me. I want ya to do this because you miss me too. I want-" it was hard to ask for what he wanted. "I want ya to treat me well, Samu. I want ya to treat me like someone ya want to be around, someone ya actually- actually love. Not someone ya just got stuck with.”
He took a deep breath. "We've always been brothers because that's how we were born. But I choose to be yer brother every day, Samu. I don't regret it, and I'll do it every day until I die. But you have to make that choice now. You have to prove ya want this, that it- that we, that I, am worth that effort for ya. Got it? Because I've had enough of bein' an afterthought, and I- I know now that I deserve more. So I don't really want yer apologies, to be honest, though I appreciate it nonetheless. If ya wanna make it up to me, I want ya to show up for me. I want ya to care about the things I love, to listen to me when I talk, even if ya think it's just a nod along if I'm mad! I want to know that I can go to ya about anythin'. That ya won't judge me, won't laugh at me or put me down, and I'm not- I'm not askin' ya to treat me like a princess or anythin'. I can take a joke, but ya need to know where the line is. And it won't work if I hafta point it out to ya every time. You need to pay attention. You need to care enough that I don't hafta worry about whether or not I'm linin' up to be laughed at. Understand?"
The worry that he was asking too much, making a fuss over nothing, was still incessant in the back of his mind. But he thought about his friends, about Omi, about the way he'd always shown up for Samu and Suna. If it wasn't too much for them, why would it be too much for him?
It still felt dramatic, a bit excessive, but- Samu was nodding fiercely, a determined frown pulling at his lips. "I'll do it," he said, so sure of himself. "You've always done it for us, haven't ya? If you can do it, I can do it."
Tsumu blinked. Scowled. "This isn't a competition, ya scrub! Take it seriously!"
"I'm dead serious!" Samu huffed. "Besides, what have we ever taken more seriously than a competition? All I'm sayin' is, genetically or whatever, there's no reason you should be all good at something that I can't do. So, if you can do it, I can do it. I will. I'm serious, Tsumu. Not to get anythin', not to prove anythin', just- just because, alright? You deserve it, and I miss ya, and I wanna be- I wanna be someone you trust again. I wanna be good to ya."
And it was just words- it was just promises that might or might not be kept, but it was more than Atsumu had ever expected. He was terrified, sure, but this... this meant the world to him, and he was willing to take the risk.
"All that's left is puttin' yer money where yer mouth is. And if this is a competition-"
"It is, at least a little bit."
"Then ya should know the stakes."
Atsumu leveled Samu with a steady look. "It better end in a tie. ‘Cause if I come out on top again, I'm not risking a third chance. If I'm the one giving everything again, I'm not going to give any more.”
"Loud and clear," Samu agreed with a nod.
"And if I win, ya never get to bring up me quittin' volleyball around ma ever again.'' It was such a stupid bet, but Tsumu knew better. Samu put the odds in his favor- everything he did would be for Tsumu's benefit, not his own. If he won, all he would gain was Atsumu.
The way he looked at him now, eyes still a little pink around the edges, shoulders tight in that way they got before a fight... that was enough. Atsumu, for once, would be enough.
"Deal," Tsumu finally said, offering an outstretched pinky. Samu locked it with his own, pressed their thumbs together. "Deal."
Things weren't fixed yet, not by a long shot, but for once, Atsumu felt like things might be okay. Maybe in a year, he could plan a wedding. Have his brother as his best man, and his best friend could wipe his ma's tears when she started crying too hard.
It was far away still, but if there was one thing Tsumu knew better than anything, it was his brother, and the look in Samu's eyes said I'll do whatever it takes. Tsumu knew that look because he wore it the same.
To be brothers again, I'll do whatever it takes.
For the first time in his life, Atsumu entered a competition hoping he would lose.
Pairing: atsumu x reader; kita x reader; suna x reader
Genre: reverse comfort-fluff; drabbles & headcanons
WC: 5.169
Warnings: N/A
A/N: thanks for the request! this is actually the first piece we’ve worked on together so we’re excited for you all to see it! enjoy :) -Dawn & Luna
since you and Atsumu tended to be strapped on time to spend with each other—with you working full-time and him being a national volleyball player—you liked to meet up with him after practice sometimes so you can pick up some food and get some quality time together
he was always taking his sweet time to get showered and ready to go, so you got to bond with some of his teammates, his captain Meian especially
suna hates how this situation would never have happened if it weren't for, well, him.
when he asked you to move in with him, the only thoughts crossing his mind were things he can't wait to experience with you. like being able to wake up next to the love of his life or cook breakfast for you when he's up early in the morning or holding you before you sleep at night, knowing you'd still be there when he wakes up tomorrow morning.
he didn't think that this would happen.
this refers to you and his oh so perfect neighbor— kita shinsuke.
now he didn't have a problem with the man, no, kita was the embodiment of perfect. he's nice, caring and friendly. too friendly, he might say.
suna eyes you suspiciously, watching you talk with the grey haired man as he helps you carry your belongings to your new shared living room. it was like he, the love of your life (he thinks he is at least), wasn't there at all
"babe?" he hears you call for him.
"hmm?" maybe you finally realized he was sitting by the sidelines, maybe you're finally noticing him now, maybe—
"can you open the door? our hands are kind of full." you asked brightly, shattering his smile.
"sure." he replied with a pout that went unnoticed by you since you were so enamored with kita.
so can you blame him for being petty? he was a petty, petty man before you guys got together. it only made sense if he carried it throughout your relationship.
even now, hours after you both had settled in, some TV show playing in the background, you're still talking about his oh so perfect neighbor.
"and he said he can help me with decorating the balcony too! he gave me pointers on how to start a lil garden and— rin? rin, you listening?"
"mhm, sounds nice babe." he mutters, eyes trained on the screen he wasn't even focusing on.
"what's wrong?" you inched your way closer to him. "did you not want that? we can change that."
"i don't care about the stupid garden." he said instead, still not looking at you.
"oh. okay, i'm sorry then." he feels you shift away and guilt fills him. shit. okay, he didn't mean to sound so harsh.
he grabs your hand before you get any far and sighs, "i'm sorry. we can have a garden if you want. anything you want, pretty. you know that."
"you're not upset about the garden are you?" you said, scooting closer to him. "did i do something?"
his darting eyes answered your question.
"rin, i won't know if you don't tell me. what'd i do?"
"you were paying attention to kita-san a lot." he admitted with a pout. "it's like i wasn't there at all."
"oh." he hears you say, then turned to look at you.
only to see you holding back a smile.
"what're smiling about? i'm upset." he pouts even more, which only makes you smile more. "baby!"
you cracked. now you're full on giggling. "i'm sorry! i just didn't expect you to be the jealous type!"
"i'm not jealous." he states. "i just didn't like it." he wasn't jealous, or at least he would never admit that in front of you.
"i'm sorry, baby." you kissed his pout away. "but there's nothing to be jealous about. i'm literally moving in with you. and kita-san was just being a nice neighbor, nothing more."
“i might forgive you if…” he says, almost too nonchalantly.
“if?”
“if i get more kisses.” he eyes you from the side, his pout seemingly even poutier.
you grinned, now sitting side by side with no gaps in between. “you drive a hard bargain.”
“Its what i deserve,” he mutters, his smile betraying him as always.
“miya! hurry up! the photographer’s almost here,” meian shouted from the locker room’s door. “yeah, yeah! ‘m hurryin’, ya can’t rush beauty like mine!” atsumu shouted back and took another quick look at his hair. “you’re such an arrogant bastard,” sakusa said, walking into the locker room. “c’mon omi! don’t be so rude to yer favorite teammate!” atsumu poked his cheek. this made sakusa glare at the blonde. “get the hell out,” he demanded and pushed atsumu towards the locker room door. “tsum! the photographer is here already!” bokuto ran down the hall where the captain, sakusa, and atsumu stood. “i think she’s a little angry.” bokuto ushered the men towards the gym, explaining that hinata was poking fun at the photographer’s short stature.
“hey! there they are!” inunaki shouted across the court as the others made their way. “hello! i’m [y/n]. im the photographer with [magazine company],” you introduced yourself, sticking a hand out to the captain. “welcome, so sorry for the wait!” meian apologized while giving atsumu a light glare. “no worries, i didn’t wait long at all!” you gave a small, professional smile, attempting to hide your irritation. it’s not that you were mad about the ginger’s teasing, no— you were mad that you had enough time to set up your gear (which took quite a long time) and engage in small talk before all the men were in the gym. you were mad because you agreed to take pictures at a specific time and it was now 10 minutes past that time. to others, 10 minutes may not seem like a big deal. but for you? it jeopardizes your entire day! you’re a busy person that works for a high demand company. being just 1 minute late can throw off your whole day. “okay! so since we’re running late, we gotta be a bit quick about this. so please, just follow my instructions.” you grabbed your camera from it’s stand and connected the strap to it. “number 21, kneel in front. number six, kneel next to him.” you positioned the two before moving onto the taller males. “twelve and thirteen, stand on the sides of them,” you walked over and positioned them to your liking. while you were moving number 13, he decided it’d be a nice time to flirt. “ya know pretty girl, i got a name. maybe a few for you to use.” you just hummed at this and moved on. “four and fifteen stand in the middle behind them.” you adjusted those two as well. they were being surprisingly obedient. usually with stuff like this, they’d be rambunctious and wouldn’t stay still. it was nice, aside from atsumu’s comment that made you slightly flustered. you instructed 9 and 10, then lastly 7. he made you feel a bit intimidated. being 7 feet tall and all… he was scary to someone short like you. “coach, if you could stand between nine and ten, a bit forwards.” after they all were in order, you snap a few (lots) of pictures. “individuals now. i’ll start in order of numbers.”
as you went down the lineup, you finally reached number 13. “hiya, been hopin’ for some alone time with ya.” he flirted, clearly cocky about his so called ‘skills’. “that’s nice. now please, hold the ball.” you smiled and handed him a volleyball. “ya don’t need to be all professional around me. let loose, yeah?” he placed a hand on your shoulder and shook you lightly. “well, sir, i have a job to do. so please, cooperate.” “sir? hm i kinda like that.” he winked and took the ball from you. your cheeks heated up a little at his suggestive comment. “c’mon at least ask some questions while yer snappin’ pics!” he flushed a bit as you moved him. “miya atsumu, correct?” “yes indeed! best setter there is!” he grinned proudly. “your brother’s onigiris are amazing, you know?” “ah! i forgot yer magazine did a page about him! i didn’t know you were the photographer.” “mhm… he was quite the gentleman… and easy to work with.” you moved away from atsumu and picked up your camera. “mhm but i’m better than him, yeah?” “if that makes you happy then sure,” you grinned in a mischievous manner. he looked offended and you quickly snapped a photo. “ya know as kids he was a devil! he was quite so people thought he was innocent but he wasn’t!” he was quick to defend himself and put his brother under the bus. “that so? he’s been telling me the opposite. so has suna.” you grin grew as his offended face depend. “ya talk to ‘em?!” “yeah, i’ve actually known rin for a long time. he helped me get this job.” you snapped a few pictures of him with his enlarged eyes. “how come he didn’t tell us about ya?!” “maybe because rin didn’t like the thought of his little sister talking to a bunch of weird, hormonal, teenage boys.” his mouth was now agape, giving you the chance to take more odd pictures. “yer his precious lil sister?! how come ya didn’t go to inarizaki?” his face was so expressive, you had to hold your laugh. “i went to a special school for people in the arts department. it was a scholarship so i couldn’t pass up the opportunity.” you shrugged casually. “that’s pretty amazing… yer really talented then, huh?” “i guess so. i’m still a rookie compared to others. i don’t mind though, i know i’ll climb to the top in no time.” you gave a confident smile. “okay now i need a neutral expression.”
“thank you all for your cooperation. you’re the best team i’ve worked with so far.” you complimented the men and they all smiled sheepishly. you began packing up your items when a certain faux blonde deciding to lend you a hand. “you should get dinner with me sometime.” he said casually, handing you a lens. “is this your way of asking me on a date?” you raised your brows, amused. “eh, it’s more of me suggestin’ one.” he shrugged and zipped a bag. “that’s a shame. if you actually asked, i might’ve said yes. but alas… it was just a suggestion.” you gave him a smirk and changed your battery pack. “well then… would ya like to go on a date [y/n]?” he asked with a flushed face and a blush coating his ears. “i would very much like to.” you smiled and opened your phone. “give me your number.” “as ya wish, pretty,” he smiled and typed his in, then sent himself a message.
[little bonus]
after a few months of casually seeing atsumu, he decided to finally ask you to be official. which, of course, you accepted. this meant telling your brother! something you were sort of dreading.
“how about we just go to dinner with samu and him. i can just tell ‘em i want ‘em to meet the person i’m datin’, yeah?” “i guess that works… should we do it tonight?” you asked, looking up at him. “yeah. better sooner than later.”
“they’re here.” atsumu said as the two men walk inside. you were sat at a booth, with atsumu sitting on the outer part and you inside. the two men reached the table and suna’s face dropped. “why? [y/n], why?” he looked at you in slight disbelief while sliding into the seat in front of you. “cause i wanted to?” you gave him a quizzical stare. “but you could’ve had anyone else. anyone!” he moved his hands dramatically. “what’s that supposed to mean?!” atsumu gave him a harsh glare. “my bad if i don’t want my little sister dating one of my best friends who happens to be one of the biggest assholes i know!” suna replied, glaring back. “damn. can’t relate.” osamu shrugged, sitting next to your brother. “i mean… he’s not that big of an ass.” you gave atsumu a light nudge, trying to stop him from glaring. he pouted slightly, stopping his stare. “hurt her and i’ll do to you what you do to her.” suna said in a dark voice. “that so? don’t think you’d wanna do the things we do.” atsumu gave him a cheeky grin which made suna’s face morph into disgust. osamu just laughed at this and you hit his shoulder. “you pig! don’t say that shit to my brother!” “c’mon doll! ya know it was funny,” he smirked, earning a kick from suna under the table. “anyways… menus for you two!” you quickly changed the subject and handed out the menus.
