Words Said Around the Table

A dragon's hoard of quotes from games that I have been in.

[persuasioncheck]

"Amongst the curiosities, the Rogue finds a fantasy Rubix cube. It’s not enchanted; its just infuriating."

- DM

[persuasioncheck]

DM: The gnome hurls a turnip at a child. Player: Oh! This is how bowling is invented!

[persuasioncheck]

"It’s a lovely, idyllic town. You're never more than sixty feet from a pennywhistle at any given time."

- DM, painting a word picture

[persuasioncheck]

Cleric: We've taken things from people who were no longer alive... Paladin: You mean grave robbery? Cleric: There were no graves! Warlock: Pre-grave robbery.

[persuasioncheck]

Paladin: You need to ride two axe-beaks, like a palanquin. Warlock: An axe-beak for each cheek. Cleric: Excellent. Warlock: Did you say 'axcellent?' Rogue: We did now.

[persuasioncheck]

DM: I should tell you, the princess is in… an ill-fitting, frilly dress. Player: Oh man, I thought you were going to say "in another castle."

[persuasioncheck]

Rogue: I'm hiding at a 24. DM: You're like a ghost in the night! Barbarian: I rolled a 17. DM: You're also hidden, just not quite as much. Warlock: You're like a ghost in the late afternoon!

[persuasioncheck]

Barbarian: Psst… hey. What's an 'archetype?' Warlock: They build buildings. Barbarian: Ohhh, thank you.

[persuasioncheck]

"I pass on taking a bath. I prefer to exfoliate with gravel."

- Goliath Barbarian

[persuasioncheck]

DM: So, what are all your plans at the tavern? Cleric: Food, bath, sleep. Rogue: Food, cards, sleep. Barbarian: Food, bath, unending questions at the talking skull that is one third of the architects of this entire adventure, and then sleep.

[persuasioncheck]

Warlock: I wanna Hex it. What ability is a ghost most likely to use? Cleric: Intimidation! Rogue: Jazz hands! Warlock: Um… okay, so I'm reading that as Charisma and Dexterity...

[persuasioncheck]

Rogue: Can I throw the coin with proficiency? DM: Yes, you are proficient with throwing money away.

[persuasioncheck]

Barbarian: How bad could zombie chickens really be? Rogue, apparently psychic: Famous last words.

[persuasioncheck]

Paladin: So, it must either be a sickness or zombies. Cleric: A sickness is actually what you call a group of zombies. Warlock: That makes a lot of sense. Cleric: Yeah, the song Down with the Sickness? It's about zombies.

[persuasioncheck]

Rogue: Is the zombie close to a friend? DM: Yeah. You. Rogue: Oh, that does not help me. Warlock: You can be a friend to someone, just not to yourself. Barbarian: That's really deep when you think about it.

[persuasioncheck]

Cleric: I think we’re more heavily-armed than anyone in this bar. Barbarian: My arms are heavy, yes.

[persuasioncheck]

"Once I grapple someone into my heart, they cannot escape, because the DC is too high."

- Barbarian