Words Said Around the Table

A dragon's hoard of quotes from games that I have been in.

[persuasioncheck]

Warlock: Everybody, hey! Don't hit the monster! Rogue after third nat 1: On it.

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"I'm always trying to impress the Paladin because I want him to think I'm cool… Speaking of which, I punch this dude in the head."

- Barbarian

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Warlock: That guy that got clobbered, is he prone? DM: He’s technically still standing. Paladin: That’s only because the Barbarian's grapple is holding him up.

[persuasioncheck]

"The rules I’m seeing are the rules that I can see."

- DM, answering important questions with important answers

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DM: He reveals himself to be a Malenti, which the Warlock knows are a specific mutation of Sahuagin. Now, Sahaugin are an evil aquatic species that are known to be mortal enemies with sea elves, but this Malenti mutation specifically causes them to look very much like sea elves. Warlock: … Warlock: ….. Warlock: ……You're a fish!!

[persuasioncheck]

Paladin: Do you still swords, bruh? Old Elf: Of course! You only stop swording when you're dead. Warlock: ...Unless you become undead. Then you can resword!

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Barbarian: Does somebody want to break the news? Because I will. Warlock: I mean... you are very good at breaking things.

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Barbarian: Was it that he can talk to plants but can't understand them? Rogue: Well, I mean… Technically, anyone can talk to plants…

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Player 1: The floating skull does air-quotes. I don't know how he does it, but he does it. Player 2: He casts Bigby's Air-quotes.

[persuasioncheck]

"Last time I went swimming, it was through a moat and I got pink eye."

- Rogue, trying to avoid an Athletics Check

[persuasioncheck]

Player 1: They expected us to clear a Groundhog Day plot in only four to six hours?? Player 2: It took Bill Murray ten years!

[persuasioncheck]

Cleric: We're going to disguise you as a man and you're going to win an archery competition! NPC: Sounds just like college, let's go!

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DM: They look like salmonberries, but shiny and magical. Rogue: Are they goodberries? DM: They are not goodberries. Warlock: They're GREATberries??

[persuasioncheck]

DM: I'll tell ya… that gnome fits a whole lot of menace into two and a half feet, tops. Player: It's like turning around and seeing Chucky behind you.

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"Friends, I'll tell you one thing about the village of Honeypuddle: it's got ants."

- DM

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Rogue: I wasn't trying to seduce you. Cleric: I figured, as you'd just said you have bad taste in women.

[persuasioncheck]

Barbarian: You were being pretty threatening toward her. Warlock: Yeah, you were tall in her presence. Paladin: Yes, yes, I talled at her.