My first and My last - Taekook
This is for my @btsthirstsquad secret Santa, aka @petaerichor! I hope you like it and merry Christmas hon!!
âKookieeeâ, Taehyungâs voice ranged on the quiet apartment. Jungkook looked up from where he was sitting on the couch to the awaiting boy, who was bouncing up and down on his feet.
âArenât you excited? Iâm so excitedâ, he said, boxy smile showing up and warming Jungkookâs heart.
âYeah, Tae. Iâm very excitedâ, he said, reaching out his arm and making space for Taehyung to join him on the couch.
They stayed like that for a while, Taehyung had his arms wrapped around Jungkookâs waist and was humming a carol happily, Jungkook was still reading his book, stealing glances at the boy laying on his chest every now and then.
It was perfect, really. Jimin -Taehyungâs roommate- had taken a hint been sweet enough to return to Busan during the holidays, meaning that Jungkook and Taehyung could spend time alone in Christmas. Their first christmas together.
They had been dating for almost an year, and Jungkook had decided he was ready. He would give Taehyung the one thing he could never ever get back: his virginity, and he couldnât be more sure of his decision.
He hadnât told Taehyung about his âpresentâ yet, he was waiting for the right time, the perfect moment. He had almost done it when they were putting up the Christmas tree, but decided to wait for a better time. He watched as Taehyung looked on his phone again, then smiled and looked at Jungkook.
âItâs midnightâ, he said, standing up and pecking Jungkook on the lips, âwait hereâ, he commanded, then ran down the hallway into the bedroom.
They had eaten early, both too hungry to wait till it was âactually Christmasâ, but Taehyung insisted they waited to exchange gifts at midnight.
Jungkook laughed when Taehyung came back running from the bedroom and jumped on top of him. âHereâ, the boy said, showing Jungkook a blue box with a cetim black ribbon on it.
âTaeâŚyou shouldnât haveâ, Jungkook said, taking the present and inspecting it. He pulled the ribbon carefully, then opened the box, and was met with an limited edition of âPhotographs of the worldâ -it was a rare holiday edition from the 90âs that Jungkook had drooled over for hours before- and a brand new Overwatch game.
Taehyung was smiling as he watched Jungkook opening the box, âDo you like it?â, he asked, sounding almost unsure.
âDo I like it?â, Jungkook asked, holding Taehyungâs waist and pulling the boy closer, âDo I like it?â, he asked again, meeting Taehyungâs lips with his, âI love it, Tae, you really shouldnât have spent all that money on meâ.
âDonât be silly, itâs a gift. And seeing you smile like that makes it worth every pennyâ, he said, kissing Jungkook.
Jungkook suddenly felt self conscious, Taehyung had found him a rare edition of his favorite magazine and he didnât have anything for the boy besides his âpresentâ. He groaned.
âWhat?â, Taehyung asked, sounding worried.
âI⌠Didnât really get you anything expensive. IâŚuh..â
Taehyung placed a finger on his lips âHey. That is not what this is about. I love you and I wanted to give you that, doesnât mean I want anything in exchange for itâ, he said, smiling softly.
âI do have a present for youâ, Jungkook said, feeling shy. This was it.
âYeahâŚitâs, itâs in the bedroom, can youâŚmaybeâŚfollow me?â, Jungkook asked, and cursed himself for sounding so lost.
Taehyung nodded excitedly, jumping off Jungkookâs lap and waiting the other to move. When Jungkook did, he followed.
Jungkook entered the bedroom, followed by Taehyung, and closed the door behind him. Taehyung turned to face him, an eyebrow crooked in question as Jungkook made his way closer to him, pushing him backwards towards the bed, stopping when Taehyungâs knees hit the bed and he fell over the mattress.
âJungkookâŚâ, Taehyung trailed off, watching the younger crawl on top of him and settle down on his hips.
âIâŚuh, I⌠Wanted to give you something only one person can ever have, andâŚI wantâŚI want that person to be you. I know itâs cliche but, I want you to have myâŚmy virginity. I want you to be my firstâ, Jungkook said, cheeks blushed a deep shade of red, and Taehyungâs eyes widened.
âKookie, are youâŚare you sure? I mean, yeah, oh god, I want this, but, uhâŚnot if you arenât comfortableâ, Taehyung asked and Jungkook smiled. That was such a Taehyung thing to do. The older had never pushed Jungkook, always giving him the space and time he needed, and that was one of the things Jungkook loved the most about him.
âYeah, Tae, Iâm sure, Iâm sure. I want you, it has to be youâ, Jungkook said, and Taehyung smiled, âI..,I know itâs cliche and I didnât get you a real gift, but I was-â Jungkookâs words were cut by Taehyungâs lips on his, on a deep and more intimate kiss than ever before.
âJungkook, thatâŚthat is the best present I could ever get, the best present I could ever receive and no one could ever top itâ, Taehyung said, and Jungkook giggled nervously.
âIâŚuh, I donât know how toâŚI donât wanna disappoint youâ, Jungkook said, suddenly serious.
âHeyâŚhey, you could never disappoint me! Donât worry baby, we will go at your pace and if you decide youâre not ready yet, weâll stop, okay?â Taehyung said, cupping Jungkookâs face on his hands and kissing the boyâs nose.
âButâŚyou already waited for so longâ, Jungkook blushed, his hands roamed to the rim of Taehyungâs shirt, playing with the fabric absentmindedly.
âI waited one year, Kookie, itâs not that long. I would wait five, ten, twenty years if it meant that you would stay with me and be mine, and Iâll wait for as long as you needâ, Taehyung assured him, and Jungkook felt his heart warm at the otherâs words.
âI love youâ, Jungkook said simply, and Taehyung smiled.
Jungkook took a deep breath, calming down his nerves. He knew what he wanted and he felt ready for it. He knew Taehyung wouldnât push him or force him into anything, and he knew he could stop if he needed to. Most importantly, he knew he loved and was loved. He took a deep breath and allowed all the insecurity to flow out of him. It was only them now, and Taehyung would take care of him like he had always done, since the day they met. It was only them now, and it never felt more right than at that moment.
Rolling his hips down shallowly -and slowly- Jungkook placed his hands on Taehyungâs chest. âIâŚI want to do it. I mean⌠If thatâs okay with youâ.
Taehyung exhaled and shook his head in disbelief, moving his hands up and holding Jungkookâs hips, finger digging into the flesh through the fabric in a calming motion, âI never wanted it more than with you, Jungkookâ
Jungkook blushed deeply, âOkayâ, he said through already irregular breaths
âOkay, but if you feel uncomfortable or want to stop at any time, tell me, okay? â, Taehyung had one hand in the air, ghosting over Jungkookâs body, and Jungkook smiled and nodded, taking the hand and placing on his chest, eyes big and curious roaming over the boy under him.
âCan IâŚcan I undress you?â, Jungkook asked, looking at Taehyung hesitantly.
âAnything you want, babyâ Taehyung assured, laying comfortably on the bed and watching Jungkook with fixed eyes.
Jungkook nodded slightly, before reaching a hand out and slowly pulling down the zipper on Taehyungâs coat. He helped the older wiggle his way out of the offending cloth and stopped, looking at Taehyungâs sweater in a tempting way. Jungkook took his time, pulling every layer of clothing out, until he was met with only a thin white shirt. His breath caught in his throat as he lifted it over Taehyungâs head. It was silly, feeling so worked up over a small motion like that. He had seen Taehyung shirtless before, many times, but this was a different feeling, one that Jungkook never had before, one that gave him shivers and butterflies at the same time.
He eyed Taehyungâs tanned chest, taking in all of the boyâs features, and ran a finger over the soft v line, before stopping and popping open -ever so carefully- the button on Taehyungâs jeans. He didnât know why he was so nervous, he had done this before too, he had been in between Taehyungâs toned, soft legs, and had had Taehyung in between his own legs. He had licked, touched, felt it all before, but the butterflies in his stomach were getting more agitated, and the shivers grew colder and colder. He felt his palms sweating as he pulled down the jeans, moving so he could set them aside, before reassuming his position on the now bare thighs. Taehyung was breathtaking -that had always been a fact in Jungkookâs mind- but in the intimacy of the moment, the knowledge of what would happen, what he wanted to happen, he was the most beautiful view Jungkook couldâve asked for.
He ghosted over the waistband of Taehyungâs underwear, curling a finger around it and removed it slowly, watching the new patch of golden skin be freed, moving again to set it aside with the rest of the clothes.
When he sat down again, it was on Taehyungâs waist. He could feel his boyfriend hardening under him, and a nervous giggle escaped his lips. As slowly as ever, he started to undo the buttons on his plaid shirt, feeling Taehyungâs eyes on him, a sudden burst of anxiety ran over him as he undid the last button. Taehyung didnât move, but Jungkook could see the way his eyes roamed all over his body, his hands -that were resting on Jungkookâs waist- trailing their way up just a little. He smiled, he could see Taehyung was controlling himself, like he always did, and that gave him even more certainty of what he wanted. Taehyung loved him, loved him so much he was willing to wait years for Jungkook, loved him so much that he didnât move -even when he clearly wanted to-, because he didnât want to scare Jungkook or make him feel pressured.
The truth was, Jungkook never felt pressured with Taehyung, unless he was putting it upon himself. Everything was perfect for Taehyung, any touch was good enough and every word was taken seriously. Jungkook knew he wasnât doing anything he didnât want, nor had he ever felt like he had to. The only thing Taehyung passed to him was a great feeling of love and security, mixed with want and friendship.
Jungkook removed his pants and boxers sloppily, not wanting to leave the bed, and turned to face Taehyung. The boy was quiet, looking at him with love filled eyes, the same look he had given Jungkook a thousand times before, a look that meant youâre all I need and more. Jungkook smiled, and traced Taehyungâs jaw with his fingertips, before leaning in and taking the boyâs lips in his. Taehyung finally moved, adjusting his body with Jungkookâs, rising from the bed just enough so that their naked torsos were touching, the warmth from their bodies flowing between them. Jungkook wrapped his legs on Taehyungâs waist, bringing them impossibly closer, motioning his body to the side, hoping Taehyung would understand what he wanted. Taehyung did, and soon enough Jungkook found himself lying with his back on the mattress. Taehyung had one leg in between his thighs, and was pecking kisses all over his face. Jungkook was overwhelmed, but in a good way, the anticipation and anxiety of what was about to happen, mixed with the love and happiness he was feeling was almost suffocating, if it didnât take and give him air at the same time.
Taehyung kissed him like there was no tomorrow, his tongue tasting every part of Jungkookâs mouth, before he trailed down and kissed the boyâs neck, shoulders, ribs, hip bone, jumping over that one area and continuing down his thighs and legs, before looking up, seemingly satisfied with himself.
âWhat?â, Jungkook asked, brain turning into mush from Taehyungâs look.
âThe fact that I can kiss every single inch of you will always be one of my favorite things" Taehyung whispered, as he resumed his position on top of jungkook and dipped down to kiss him, his hands roaming freely down his side to his waist, making Jungkook blush harder with every ministration.
âIâŚahâ, Jungkookâs voice died as Taehyung started to make his way down his body again, leaving open mouthed kisses, while stroking Jungkookâs already hard cock with slow motions.
âIs this okay?â, Taehyung asked, and Jungkook nodded, too lost on the feeling to answer. He didnât think Taehyung needed to ask about that at this point in their relationship, but the boy always did. He knew Taehyung had problems with letting people in, he was scared of getting attached and then being left behind again, so he always made sure everything was consensual and that Jungkook was feeling comfortable. As he once said, âhurting or losing Jungkook was his biggest fearâ.
Taehyung continued to stroke Jungkook slowly, pressing more kisses to the boyâs hips, and nibbling -ever so lightly- at the skin near his pelvis and thighs. He stopped and looked at Jungkook with big eyes -a silent question, to which Jungkook nodded fervorously-, then leveled his mouth to Jungkookâs penis, licking the precum that was flowing from the tip, and kissing along the shaft, mouthing at the base then returning to the head and digging his tongue in the slit, humming happily at Jungkookâs moans. He lowered his mouth, taking the entire length in one go, only stopping when his nose was touching the soft skin of Jungkookâs pubic area, then pulled off agonizingly slowly, only to sink back down, engulfing all of Jungkook once again. He repeated that for a few minutes -and Jungkook could practically taste his orgasm already-, then pulled off completely and licked down the shaft, passing Jungkookâs balls and continuing further down.
He looked up, head resting on Jungkookâs thighs, his right hand massaging the boyâs hips, âIâŚdo you want me toâŚI mean, if thatâs okay with you, I thought that mayb-â.
âYesâ, Jungkook said in between breaths, âYes Tae, please, IâŚâ, his cheeks reddened and Taehyung couldnât help but smile at how flustered the boy was.
Taehyung lifted Jungkookâs legs over his shoulders, and placed a pillow under the boyâs hips, positioning Jungkook in the most comfortable way he could, before looking at him again and lowering down slowly, kissing the supple flesh of the boyâs butt cheeks while his fingers dug in the skin to spread them apart. Taehyung licked at the entrance once, in trial, and Jungkook hissed loudly, holding the sheets with so much strength his knuckles turned white. Taehyung smiled and licked again, only to receive the best moan he had ever heard in his life as an answer. He smiled. Jungkook was having a good time, enjoying himself, just as much as he was, and that was what mattered to him.
Taehyung kept licking and swirling his tongue, and for the second time during that night, Jungkook felt himself about to come. Taehyung knew -from the amount of blowjobs and teasing theyâve done before- that Jungkook liked that, liked being brought to the edge and not coming, liked to draw out his orgasm as much as possible, just so he could enjoy the feeling of having Taehyung so close to him for longer. Jungkook gasped when Taehyung pulled away, longing for more contact, more touches, more. He sighed happily when he felt the other kissing the inside of his thighs, at the same time that his hands massaged the soft skin of his cheeks, before it was gone and Taehyung was standing up and fishing something from his drawer.
Jungkook heard the âpopâ of a cap being opened and looked up at Taehyung who was taking his place in between the boyâs thighs again. A breath caught in his throat, and before he could even say anything, Taehyung had leaned on top of him and kissed him, making Jungkook completely forget about the anxiety that was growing inside of him. âWe donât have to do this if you donât want toâ, he whispered, and Jungkook shook his head almost instantly.
âI want toâ, he said, lifting his eyes so they were met with Taehyungâs dark chocolate ones.
Taehyung nodded, âIâll go slowly, tell me if it hurts and Iâll stop immediatelyâ, he said, looking at Jungkook firmly, and Jungkook could see the mixture of seriousness, worry, admiration and want in his eyes.
âI know. But I trust youâ, he said, smiling, and Taehyungâs expression softened. He pecked kisses all over Jungkookâs face and shoulders, and the boy giggled sheepishly when he kissed his Adamâs apple.
Taehyung moved back and squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, rubbing the digits together to warm it up, before sitting on his knees and positioning Jungkookâs legs on each side of his body. âReady?â, he asked and Jungkook nodded, biting his lower lip in nervousness.
âTake a deep breath, weâre not in a rush, we can go as slow as you wish to. Just tell me if it hurts too bad and we can stop, okay?â Taehyung asked, and Jungkook nodded once again. He knew why Taehyung had said that. They had tried this before, twice, but Jungkook had asked him to stop -which he did- on both accounts, when Taehyung had only one finger in, and he was worried it would hurt again. Jungkook knew it would hurt but, different from the other times, he felt ready. He wanted to take their relationship to the next level, wanted to give himself fully to Taehyung, even if it meant that he would be uncomfortable for a while. He wanted to learn what true pleasure felt like, and he wanted Taehyung to teach him.
Jungkook took a deep breath as Taehyung pushed the first finger in, very slowly, after teasing his entrance a few times. The pain was a strong, but Jungkook knew it would be stronger once Taehyung was actually inside of him, so he willed himself to not panic and get used to the foreign feeling. Taehyung moved after a few moments and, to Jungkookâs surprise, the pain had considerably lowered, becoming only an annoying sting. He nodded to Taehyung, signaling that he was ready for the next finger, and Taehyung complied, pushing the second digit in -equally as slow as the first- and waiting for Jungkook to adjust. When he did, Taehyung started to make scissoring motions, making Jungkook squirm a little -it was slightly more uncomfortable than just one digit, but not enough for him to ask Taehyung to stop.
Jungkook barely noticed when Taehyung squeezed in the third finger, the sting from the stretch finally turning into a more pleasurable feeling, not pleasant enough for it to go unnoticed, but pleasant enough for Jungkook to breath normally and relax, enjoying the feeling of being closer to Taehyung than ever before. When the last finger was added, and Taehyung was able to slide four fingers in and out of Jungkook easily, Jungkook was panting. Taehyung had hit his prostate a few times, and they were both hot and bothered already. Taehyung cleaned his fingers up on his thigh and got more lube, slicking his penis up and aligning himself to Jungkookâs entrance.
âAre you sure about this? ItâŚitâll hurt a bit, no matter how much I try not toâ, Taehyung said and, except for the sweat on his forehead, his hard and leaking member and his hooded eyes, Jungkook almost thought that maybe he didnât want this.
âIâŚIâm sure, Tae, but if you donât want toâŚthatâs okayâ, Jungkook said tripping over his words
Taehyung looked at him like he had just grew wings, âJungkook,â, he said calmingly, âwhy wouldnât I want this? Why wouldnât I want you? Youâre perfect, Kookie, I just donât want to ruin thatâ, he said, pulling the sweat dampened hair on Jungkookâs forehead out of the boyâs eyes.
âYou could never ruin me, Tae, I have never felt more complete and happy than with youâ, Jungkook smiled, âIâm sure, I want you to be my first and my lastâ, whispered, and Taehyung widened his eyes.
âWell, thatâs perfect, Jungkookie, because I want to be your first and your last as wellâ, he smiled, leaning down to catch the boyâs lips in a slow kiss, that set fire to their cores and turned their brains to mush.
They stopped for a moment, taking in each otherâs forms, lust filled eyes roaming over reddened lips and rapidly rising chests, hands hovering, touching, caressing. Their gazes met and no words were needed, they both knew what was about to happen, they both knew they were ready to become one.
Taehyung slipped in slowly, giving Jungkook time to adjust to every inch, and Jungkook was thankful for that. The pain was considerably more than he imagined, it was as if every part of his body was molding and expanding to adapt itself to Taehyungâs size, in a slow, burning manner, that had him whimpering. When Taehyung was fully seated inside of him -after stopping many times to ask Jungkook if he was okay-, Jungkook instinctively held onto his neck, pressing their chests together, as he got used to the intrusion. After he deemed the pain to be at a manageable level, he nodded for Taehyung to move, which he did, thrusting shallowly at first, but picking up a deep and slow pace after Jungkook had adapted to movement.
It wasnât as the movies or fanfiction made it seem, Jungkook didnât feel heat pooling in his stomach or see stars. He didnât drink in the moans and gasps, he didnât immediately start to feel âleg-numbing pleasureâ. It hurt, it hurt throughout most of it, lessening slightly with each thrust, and only reducing noticeably after Taehyung found his prostate, but Jungkook was happy. He couldnât be happier. He didnât care about the pain or the uncomfortableness, nor did he care about the lack of instant pleasure. The only thing on his mind was Taehyung. Taehyung around him, over him, taking care of him, nurturing him⌠He wasnât doing this for pleasure, he hadnât saved himself for the right person so he would be drowning in orgasms with the first thrust. This was about a relationship, about love and companionship, about tears and smiles, about the future ahead of them. This was about Taehyung and him.
Jungkook didnât care about how long it took for the thrusts to become pleasurable, he didnât care about the noises he was making or the tears pricking on his eyes. He cared about love, and the fact that he and Taehyung were finally together in every level. They were one, two halfs of a relationship that was seen as wrong and frowned upon, but that was perfect and all they needed.
They came together, Taehyung groaning deeply and releasing inside of Jungkook, who came next, crying out with the overwhelming mixture of feelings and the sensation of Taehyung hitting his prostate with every thrust while stroking him slowly. When they came down from their highs, Taehyung thumbed away the tears from Jungkookâs eyes and cleaned them both up with a wet cloth. He asked if Jungkook could stand, and when the boy failed to -too fatigued to do even a simple task-, he carried the other to the living room couch.
âWait here please, Iâll just change the sheets, itâll only take a secondâ, he said, kissing Jungkook and leaving the boy alone, wrapped in a blanket, with a cup of water in his hand.
Jungkook nodded and sighed happily, sipping the water every now and then, watching as the Christmas lights flickered on the tree. Outside, the snow was falling, but he felt warm. Sleep and tiredness were taking over his body, and he allowed his head to loll back and his eyes to close.
Taehyung came back in record speed, and picked a half asleep Jungkook up bridal style, the younger boy giggling against his neck, talking about snow and Christmas lights. He placed Jungkook on the now clean bed, and crawled in next to the boy, who was almost fully awake again and watching him with curiosity.
âCome here?â, Taehyung asked, stretching out his arm for Jungkook to lay against, which the boy gladly did. Jungkook was moving his fingers up and down Taehyungâs bare chest in a walking motion, absently murmuring to himself.
âThank youâ, the boy said after a while
âFor loving me, and taking care of me. For being patient and understanding. Thank you for being with meâ, Jungkook whispered, looking up at Taehyung with big doe eyes.
âJungkook⌠Donât thank me, if anyone should be thanking anyone in here itâs meâ, he said,ducking down and kissing Jungkookâs forehead
âWhy would you need to thank me? Iâm the one that made you wait, Iâm the one that was inexperienced, Iâm the one that didnât know how to deal with things..â, Jungkook whispered, lower this time.
Taehyung took a deep breath, before sitting up just enough so that he was facing Jungkook, âYouâre also the one that kept coming back for me, youâre the one that listened to me, youâre the one that made me want to keep taking my classesâŚyouâre the one that made me love again, Jungkookâ, Taehyung said, cupping the boyâs cheeks, âThank youâ
Jungkook was blushing; he smiled softly and snuggled up against Taehyungâs chest, his face buried in the otherâs shoulder as he enjoyed the shared warmth. âIâŚIâŚhope you enjoyed, uhâŚ.you know, your uhâŚyour giftâ, he said, stumbling over the words with a muffled voice.
Taehyung smiled, holding the boyâs chin fondly and making Jungkookâs gaze meet his, âIt was the best gift I could have ever asked forâ, he said matter factly.
Jungkook smiled widely, bunny teeth showing as his cheeks got even more red than before, âI enjoyed it tooâ, he added, and Taehyung caressed a hand on his jawline.
âI love you so much, itâs ridiculousâ, he said, and Jungkook chuckled loudly.
âThatâs because I love you so much itâs ridiculousâ, he answered back, causing Taehyung to laugh and shake his head.
âMerry Christmas, Kookieâ, he said, pulling the boy closer to him, âIt was the best Christmas Iâve ever hadâ.
âIt was an awesome one, I loved it.â, Jungkook smiled, âBut I think we can top it next yearâ, he joked
âHopefully we canâ, Taehyung said, âget together with our friends, at our apartmentâŚâ
Jungkookâs head jolted up, and he stared at Taehyung âAre youâŚdo you reallyâŚI mean, are weâŚâ, he muttered, not knowing what to ask
âJeon Jungkook, will you do me the honor of being my roommate? We can rent a place in the city, itâs not exactly expensive but I wouldnât call it cheap either, I can work and study and you canââ Taehyungâs daydreaming was cut by lips finding his and arms linking behind his neck.
âYes, yes Iâll be your roommate, I donât care if itâs the smallest apartment ever, weâll find a way. What matters itâs that weâll be togetherâ, Jungkook said, voice rising up in excitement, and Taehyung laughed.
âBaby, even if we donât manage it next year, we will always be togetherâ, he said, âwe were made for each other, Jungkook, I just know itâ.
âI know, I feel it too. I really did mean it when I said I wanted you to be my first and my last, I want you to be my only,Taeâ, Jungkook said, and Taehyung smiled, moving the hair on Jungkookâs forehead from his eyes.
âYou may not have been my first, oh god, if I had known that I would meet you⌠I wouldâve waited, Jungkook,.But, ever since you came into my life, you have been my only, and I know you will be my lastâ Taehyung said, and Jungkook kissed him again, before returning to his previous position and cozying himself on Taehyungâs arms.
They stayed like that for the rest of the night. Jungkook fell asleep first, overwhelmed, exhaustion getting the best of him. Taehyung drifted off soon after, taking in the boyâs soft puffs of breath and watching him with adoration, before allowing slumber to wash over him and falling into a deep sleep, where he dreamt about the future, possibilities and, most importantly, Jungkook.