you are fucking died. game oval.

blake kathryn

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@chaseprice
you are fucking died. game oval.
sometimes how i live my days can be boiled down to this
One time i got sucked up by a ufo im not joking
what happebned
On god they were being super mean to me like they were flicking my head and shit the grey aliens were flicking my head and punching my nose and giving me noogies and shoving me and shit....
Friend: Based off what I’ve told you, what do you think? Do I have a chance?
Me: I can’t really tell you. I’m not good at those kinds of things, hah.
Friend: You’re right…shouldn’t have asked somebody who has only dated three people.
Me: Hah. That kinda hurts, but I’ll be real, I just hav-
Ice T: My memory card deleted my San Andreas save
People who enjoy Reese’s are gay actually because when you tink about it:
Peanus butt-er and cocklate
transgendert chawaller
isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever
billie eilish is dressing like a bad guy thug at a mahjong game in a kung fu movie
"Let the Gweilo play. He has nothing left to lose."
she is so unbelievably real