Phos Analysis/Phos Needs Love Rant
(I posted this in the hnk reddit too)
Let’s start with how Phos literally lost their body parts for the benefit of others/because they wanted to help others. They lost their legs because Ventri lead them into a trap to get Aculeatus back. They lost their arms because the ice floes brought up how Cinnabar needed them, causing them to slip and fall in. They lost their head because they wanted to get cairn’s arm back. And they lost their hair because they had to cover Morga and Goshe. Every change they’ve gone through is for someone else.
At the beginning, Phos’ main priority was Cinnabar. When they got swallowed by Ventri, their immediate thought before melting away was that Cinnabar needed them so they need to survive. They were ready to give up their life to Ventri if it meant Cinnabar’s would be spared. The ice floes only mentioned Cinnabar once and it was enough for Phos to slip and lose their arms. And to Phos, Cinnabar was the gem who was there for them since the beginning, that Cinnabar was the one who understands Phos the most. But Cinnabar not only abandoned them when Phos needed them the most but even goes so far as to dis-validate their feelings
Listen I get that Phos might’ve jumped this on you kinda abruptly and bluntly and I agree they need to understand delicacy but in no circumstances, NO CIRCUMSTANCES, SHOULD YOU EVER TELL SOMEONE THEY DONT UNDERSTAND LONELINESS SIMPLY BECAUSE OF WHATEVER ASSUMPTION YOU HAVE. ITS A HUGE DICK MOVE.
Cinnabar can be as emo as they want and hug their legs all day but Phos understands loneliness better than anyone in this show and that’s a fact.
When the other gems thought Phos got turned into a snail, they were all completely fine with leaving them as is.
The first gem to truly empathize with them, Antarcticite, was forcefully taken from them by the Lunarians. This is something that would give someone PTSD, and Phos does end up getting it but literally no gems ever thought to ask Phos if they were ok. All they cared about was Phos’ new gold arms.
Then they lost Ghost, the second partner they’ve had thus far.
Then when Aechmea told them the truth behind Sensei, they had to face the fact that the man who raised them and taught them all the know had been lying and hiding things to their face.
Unlike Cinnabar, Phos is constantly surrounded by people and keeps on meeting new ones but despite this, they have no one to depend on, and anyone that they *did* depend on, either abandoned them or was taken from them. While Cinnabar feels lonely because they isolate themselves, Phos is lonely because no one they reach out to reaches back, and that kind of loneliness is much more detrimental. And it doesn’t even stop there.
The other moon gems don’t even care enough to go see Phos in the ‘hospital’ despite doing so for Padparadscha.
And not to mention when Phos recalls all the shit that happened to them within that one day, it literally made them shatter.
This is what I said before, about how you can still feel lonely even when you’re still interacting with other people. Phos may be in contact with a lot of people but none of these people truly accepts them. They have no one to relate to or to depends on and the realization of this, the fact that both Cinnabar and Cairngorm, 2 gems who they thought they’d be able to trust, had tried to harm them, and the fact that they failed at their purpose yet again, causes Phos to literally break down.
And speaking of Cairngorm, they practically just twisted the knife.
I have to ask, is there a reason they needed to straight out reject Phos as a friend? Sure maybe before it was only because of Ghost but why does Cairn feel the need to cut Phos out altogether? It wasn’t Phos’ fault that Ghost controlled them(if they ever did anyways…).
And this is the worst thing Cairn could’ve done. They just straight out told Phos that all they’ve been doing thus far is not helping anyone and that its in fact doing more damage then good. And while it is true to some extent, it doesn’t even matter because Cairn doesn’t say anything else and isn’t doing anything to help Phos become a better person. All this did was send Phos even deeper into depression. On top of having almost every gem Phos trusted abandon them and the friends they thought at least cared about them in fact not giving a shit about them, now Phos is being told that nothing they’re doing is helping.
And I haven’t even gotten to the latest chapter’s hula baloos yet.Like I said in my rant about how the snail scene traumatized me almost as much as it did Phos, Phos was lowkey traumatized by the snail attempting to take of the shell and is now faced with deciding whether or not to kill on top of dealing with their depression and anxiety.
Phos may seem like a manipulative asshole to some of you but they’re still just a kid who was forced into the role of responsibility. They’re constantly forced to make difficult decisions and in my opinion, all the choices they’ve made have been the better ones, they just seem bad because we don’t get to experience the other options(I could make a post about this but idek, I wanna wait).
Phos may have changed and they were definitely forced to grow up too quick but deep inside, they’re still that kind child.
(sorry if this was kinda wordy, I was just trying to get all my thoughts and feelings about Phos out)
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