Why I Haven’t Called - An Update
Trigger Warning: mental health
I owe you all an explanation for why I dropped off the face of Tumblr and the RP world entirely. This is going to be long, so please bear with me. Simply put - I was overworked, underappreciated, and just suffering mentally. I probably should have given you all notice because this world has meant so much to me, but at the time I was so done with everything that it included RP. Writing had begun to feel like a chore and I wasn’t sure who I was anymore.
I was waking up angry at my job and the life I’d set up for myself. I woke up wondering how I was just going to make it through the day. I would come home stressed and crying. It was bad enough that my dog became a certified Emotional Support Animal from my doctor because I just wasn’t dealing with my life well.
I was getting physically ill more and more and my physical health was affecting my mental health and visa-versa. It was a horrible cycle that I wouldn’t wish on even someone I loathe. I would wake up, go to work, come home and sleep and do the entire routine over again with little to no variation.
I gave up. I gave up on everything.
My mom and my boyfriend realized I wasn’t the same person anymore. I was putting on a happy face but that was all it was - just a face. They helped me realize that I needed a change.
And so I gave up a job where I was making not great money but enough to live on. I had even gotten a raise recently but it hadn’t helped me feel like I was worth anything. I took a pay cut to do something I’ve always wanted to get into - social work.
It was hard and I came home physically exhausted but I was feeling more like me. I was excited to go to work and help people. But I went into a position that had seen 3 people in the same chair in a year’s time. Of course, I was arrogant and thought I would be the exception because I’m a hard worker.
Spoiler Alert: I wasn’t.
Despite my hard work and willingness to learn, I was terminated just before my 3 month anniversary with no reason given. I suspect that they didn’t want to start my insurance benefits and that my supervisor didn’t like me because she hadn’t been the most helpful person.
So I started unemployment. I was depressed again. And on top of it my boyfriend’s boss told him he needed to move or he would lose his job. So we started packing.
And that’s where I am now. I’ve moved in with my boyfriend and we have his friend as a roommate to help with the rent. I’m slowly getting over being knocked down and RP is starting to feel like something I could love again.
I’m going to be trying to get back into it. I understand if I’ve lost some friends here because of my absence, but I hope that isn’t the case.
I love you all and hope to write with you soon.
-Amber



















