Journey to Phalloplasty

This is a side blog dedicated to my journey to phalloplasty. If you have any questions, ask away! |Testosterone: November 2013| |Top surgery: August 2014| |Hysterectomy: June 2017| | Phalloplasty: November 15 2022|

[phallojourney]

I'm officially nearing 4 weeks post stage 1 phalloplasty and it's still hard to believe I've actually had this surgery. I'm most likely going to be posting some more in depth recounts of the early days after surgery but right now I'm still in the midst of healing. Right now my arm is proving to be the hardest to deal with but in due time things will get better.

I'm looking forward to being another month or two out because that's when life starts to return to normal

[phallojourney]

Well, I have no doubt that this blog is pretty dead as it's taken me over 2 years to complete hair removal so I haven't had any updates in just as long however, the wait is finally over!

I officially have a surgical date for November 15 2022.

I'll likely continue to post updates here even just for my own sake so if anybody is still around, there's more coming soon!

[phallojourney]

I'm really struggling with dysphoria right now. I got another stp to try while I wait for surgery but the absolute crushed feeling I have when it doesn't work is really hard to deal with. I won't be able to have surgery until next year and using the bathroom is just horrible everytime.

I know I'm rambling but today has just been a shitty day and I need to let it out

[phallojourney]

So I should be able to finally restart electrolysis which is a huge relief because this year I’ve had to deal with the realisation that I wasn’t ready for surgery this summer due to hair and then the fact that I couldn’t even use the extra time to work on that hair removal along with the loss of organised sports which are a huge part of my coping mechanisms. 

I understand and appreciate why things have shut down, and lots of trans people are in the same or similar situation as me but I’m just so glad I can move on with this process that I started in 2017.

[phallojourney]

Ok, not phalloplasty related but I just learned of a way in which anybody, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity could potentially have biological kids! It's called in vitro gametogenesis and I want to read some primary articles about it and do some research but from what I've heard things are looking promising.

I have up the hope of my own biological children when I was 16 and now, I have hope again and for the moment, it feels great!

[phallojourney]

Ok, so as of right now, I'm pretty much done my hair removal and I am just waiting on the email from the surgeons office about what is going to happen next. I'm in a constant state of anticipation and excitement and stress and I just can't wait to get my surgery date. I started this whole process in 2017 so I am ready af for this

[phallojourney]

Sorry for the general lack of content. Firstly, there hasn't been much to update, just hair removal and that takes a long time. Secondly, this blog was flagged as explicit (thanks tumblr) and they haven't reviewed my appeal yet despite it being almost a year so I don't even know if people will see this. It's frustrating because I wanted a place to share my surgery with people who really need as many experiences as they can get

[phallojourney]

Sorry for the general lack of content. Firstly, there hasn't been much to update, just hair removal and that takes a long time. Secondly, this blog was flagged as explicit (thanks tumblr) and they haven't reviewed my appeal yet despite it being almost a year so I don't even know if people will see this. It's frustrating because I wanted a place to share my surgery with people who really need as many experiences as they can get

[phallojourney]

So with my first hair removal session today I thought I would take a picture of what I have to work with. I have a lot of hair to remove so that will be fun. But I guess it's all just something I have to deal with.

The biggest thing is how long it will take and therefore how long I'll have to wait until surgery.

[phallojourney]

Consult this week!

Ok so I leave for Montreal this Thursday and I'm so excited and nervous and have had so many thoughts running through my head even though this is just the consultation. I should be getting a surgery date and information for electrolysis and I can't wait!

[phallojourney]

Consultation on Feb 22

So the rebooked consultation is in just about a month and while it sucks (a lot) to have had it rebooked I'm kinda freaking out that it's so close. Still some things to sort out but I'll be posting more about it once it happens!

[phallojourney]

Just to be clear, I will continue to post on tumblr until I can't anymore or until the community moves elsewhere. I don't have anywhere else to post this kind of thing so I'm here until the end

[phallojourney]

They rescheduled my pre-op appointment which wouldn't be a big deal if I hadn't already bought flights. So something I have no control over just cost me more than 500$ and there's fuck all I can do about it. I can't afford to piss away that kind of money I can't even afford a new pair of shoes. Money that I could use to cover electrolysis, gone. Or money I could have put towards my tuition. Regardless they don't give a FUCK that I'm just out that money

[phallojourney]

So after bottom surgery with testicular implants, is it possible to get hit in the balls and then feel the pain cis men do? I need to know. Thnx.

I imagine that it would hurt... I mean the tissue used to make the balls is still very sensitive and getting that hit hurts but I don't think it'll be quite as bad. Like I don't think we would feel it in the pit of our stomach like vis guys say they do just because of the difference in anatomy.

After I get mine I'll be sure to take a shot in the balls and post how it feels. For science and all lol

[phallojourney]

Do you know many trans guys who've gone through with phalloplasty? I have my second appointment with Dr. Berli at OHSU in Portland next month, and I'm a bit nervous about it. After this appointment, I can get scheduled for surgery. I've found people to help me in the recovery stage, and I think I'll be able to work from home during that time, but it just seems like such a huge endeavour. I can't keep putting my life on hold for it, though. Any advice? (I love your blog btw!)

Hey thanks! As for personally, I actually don't know any trans guys who've gone through phalloplasty so I've actually had very little in terms of heating first hand experiences and people I can reach out to. Ive found blogs like gendercube to be very helpful and informative in my own decision to commit to phalloplasty because yes, it will be quite the endeavour but for me at least, I've already spent 21 years of my life waiting for this so however long recovery takes is a small price to pay for peace of mind and body. Hope this helps a little and good luck with your appointment!

[phallojourney]

I have a Pre-op appointment date!!!

Nov. 30th!

Now all I have to do if book flight and a hotel and figure out how to schedule around my uni courses

I’m so hyped but also stressed 

[phallojourney]

So I was told about a month ago that I would be the next person in line to be called by the montreal office and I didn’t know it would take so long to make a phone call? I guess I’m just starting to worry about my timeline because I have to have hair removal and my funding is ends in 2020 so I don’t know how it’s all gonna work out. And school is back in so that just adds stress on more stress