phantom

"and i am the idiot with the painted face in the corner, taking up space" biblically accurate angel with a god complex.

[phantomg1rl]

"𝖇𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝒃ehind 𝒎y 𝒆yes 𝒘hen i 𝖙ry 𝖙o 𝒔leep 𝖆t 𝖓ight

𝖌𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝖒𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝔀hen 𝓶y 𝖒ind 𝐭urns 𝒐ut 𝒕he 𝓵ights"

𓍯𓂃𓏧 maya 𓂃 20 𓂃 she/her 𓂃 taken

goth & punk 𓂃 irl yan 𓂃 jirai 𓂃 (sfw) petre

dni + more

auDHD | depression | gad | bp-Il | ocd | bpd | npd

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ yan types :

RDHL 𓂃 EDCA 𓂃 CSRP 𓂃 OCDAF 𓂃 LSMT

♡ nsfw blog :

block, don't report !! this blog is my safe space, you wouldn't be helping me any by reporting it

i'm severely mentally ill so i'm obviously not always going to behave in 'acceptable' ways. please don't harass or ridicule me, you're not helping. just treat me with respect and kindness and i will do the same in return.

dms open ! i promise i'm a kind person 😭 im rlly fucking awkward tho so apologies for that. tone indicators are appreciated when messaging me but not necessary ^_^

asks are open, as well !! pls send cat pics i love them sm <33

tw for things like: suicide, sh, ed, depression, drugs

[tags !]

𓉸ྀི 𝓶usings 𝓯rom 𝓽he 𝓰rave 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 ♱ - most of my posts will be under this. pretty much just posts about my thoughts n opinions on random shit… whatever happens to pop into my head that day

♱ 𓏧 my 𝓼avior, 𝓶y god 𓏧 ♱ - posts abt my beloved <3

𝔀eep in the 𝓯ace of your one 𝓽rue 𝓰od .ᐟ - posts i make when my grandiosity kicks in

𝓐ngel 𝓐dventures ໒꒱ .ᐟ - for when i occasionally leave the house n post abt what i did that day :3

divider credits: @kodaswrld

[phantomg1rl]

no one is going to see this but i'm writing this anyway to explain my absence (if i'm successful this time). i'll do my best not to make this long n rambly

hi, i'm maya n this will hopefully be my last post. i first want to apologize to my friend for being too cowardly to message you n say goodbye. but most importantly, i want to thank you for being my friend. i'm not the easiest person to get along with, i'm bothersome, and we've had disagreements, but you stayed my friend through it all. you (along with my boyf) helped bring some happiness into my life and it kept me here a little while longer. thank you for being you, and i'm sorry for hurting you by doing this. i love you. if it brings you any comfort, please know that i'm happier and at peace now. i've thought this through many many times n i'm positive that this is what i want. i don't see a point in living bc i hardly have a life. all i've done these last 3 years is exist n watch life pass me by. i'm insignificant and have made no impacts on the world. my life was in vain to the very end. it's funny, how i've always desired to be someone important yet this is how i end up.

anyways,

thank you to the kind people i interacted with on here, though you've probably forgotten abt me lol. i don't have much else to say since i wasn't exactly popular on here, so i guess this is goodbye. if you've read this, please try to forget abt me.

(this is going to be super awkward if i fail…)

[preachersboyfriend]

Yan4Yan or nothing else. Why should I bother with someone not looking to return my advances? Why would I spend the rest of my life— However short it ends up being— with someone with me simply because they find the surface of my ' obsession ' to be attractive?

[phantomg1rl]

it's crazy how i've been diagnosed autistic for approx. 4 years now n i'm still discovering new things about myself in regards to it, especially when i look back on my behavior in childhood. recently i realized that the reason i struggle and am so uncomfortable with giving affection is likely bc i'm autistic

[phantomg1rl]

when you've been masking your entire life and start to unmask, you realize that people like the fake you so much better. i'll die n the version of me that my family will remember won't even be the real me

i'm completely insignificant on this earth

[phantomg1rl]

begging people on the internet to use pov correctly

[phantomg1rl]

NOOOOOO I JUST LEARNED THAT MARK (from nct) WORE A SHIRT WITH THE CONFEDERATE FLAG ??? fml i'm done

[phantomg1rl]

it's actually fucking sickening how much money that nasty man has. it genuinely makes me sick to my fucking stomach

[laterkiss]

i self diagnose myself as god

[funnier-with-narcpd]

what i find funny as someone w npd is how all of my ocs are special little guys who one could argue are mary-sue ish but no. my little guy is amazing. not 100% perfect but theyre DIFFERENT and cooler. skill issue. rip to the og characters but MY gal could handle being the anti christ harbringer of the apocalypse; have you considered getting better?

-anon w bpd (& npd!)

LMFAO yes just get good

[phantomg1rl]

i would totally call my dick that if i had one

[phantomg1rl]

my boyf n i went to a cat café today n there was an elderly lady there n she told me i was pretty ૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

n omg !! the cats were soooo cute !!! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ i was so sad when we left :(( their coffee was super yummy too. i wanted to take pics but i felt too awkward doing that ;w;

[phantomg1rl]

when people tell me "you don't act like you have adhd/autism" what they really mean is:

"you don't act exactly like my son/nephew/brother (most times they're kids) who has adhd/autism so that means you can't possibly have it"

UGHHHHHH i'm sick of my adhd n autism diagnosis being compared to men who have them to try n invalidate me. when i brought up the fact that i think i have autism to my brother-in-law, he straight up told me "well, my nephew (who is 8 yrs old btw) has autism and you don't act like him, so…" istg i felt like i was going to explode with anger

[allhumansgotohell]

The most irritating "extreme yandere" you know will flirt with their mutuals and all anons, act like a bitch in heat in other peoples comments, while having the audacity to complain about past darlings who didn't stay.

Yanblr is a joke.

[sometimes-alice-deactivated2018]

[chicken-fingers]

this movie was way too heavy for its intended age group

[npd-confessions]

I just think it’s funny that if I were a fictional character, I’d be woobified and a fan favorite, but since I’m a real human being I’m vilified to hell and back. I don’t know I just think that’s a funny little double standard.

Real, everyone loves the NPD coded characters but never the actual NPD people

[amare-habeo]

[aqua-regia009]

Summer Night - Gaganendranath Tagore