Easy to Chew, Hard to Swallow 🫥🌒

Welcome 😊 This blog is centered around original poetry. I've not seen a lot of the world, truly, I've not seen enough of it. But from what I have seen I know there is much to be talked about; written about; read about. I speak on heavy subjects including sexual assault, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, mental illness, societal problems, and self-harm. I write these words with much deliberation and care. I do have a lot to share on the happier aspects of life and will make sure to sprinkle in some of these little gems. Have a good time while you're here as you let yourself float around reading poetry. Enjoy 🖋⏳

[phantomtimbre]

Hello and welcome!

I am Phantom Timbre, and I am a poet. I've had numerous life experiences that've shaped the art I create. I've not always been drawn to dark subjects, but more recently, I have found comfort in writing about them. I also really love telling stories through poetry, especially stories intended to be taken metaphorically, as well as literally. We love a good metaphor 🩶

I hope you enjoy your time here and come out all the better!

Sincerely,

Phantom Timbre

P.S. Questions, reblogs, and likes are welcome 🌄

[phantomtimbre]

Forgetting

One day 

I may forget

Your voice

Your face

Your name

Like you pressed a finger

Into my shoulder 

And the moment I turned my head

I forgot why I looked in the first place

[phantomtimbre]

An Ode to Father Time

Time, in shape of bone white leaves, crunches underfoot

Drags the land beneath the sea

Too late to pray, Indonesia sinks

Petals spread, wave hello, tickled by the breeze

Become exhausted, shrivel, wilt

Its mother wears its leaves

Earth bends and brightens

Blushing deeply as it greets its lover

Blows a kiss to wish goodnight

Leeched of all its color

Time tugs, distorts, thrusting all to come as one

Then wrenches all apart

To gut and kill, to love and heal

To reunite the universe 

Cruelest god, titan, savior, master, saint, great betrayer

Taunting with reverberating taps

A power we created, bowed down low to

Twisting, coiling til we snap, crunching with the leaves

Son became the father with an iron fist

Ruling with its hammer

Bear it all upon our backs

Sweat bleeding down our brow

O grandest father born of hand, born of mind,

Father man gave birth to

I beg thee on my knees, 

I beg thee, Time, for grace

I weep to see the flowers

To see great trees and stars and love

To see and say good morn’, goodbye

To write and write,

Though much begun, much unbegun

Much I've left unfinished

Each stroke of art, enough

Each still not enough

Always more to write, and more to write

Get it down on paper,

Just before the clock strikes twelve

Get it down, I must

Time tattooed upon our skin

Feeling every twitching tick

Counting down each pulse

Dying pages scribbled on with blackest ink

Will someday surely fade

Still even so, have mercy

Let me finish this great work I love

And love, and could not love enough

Oh great clock that I created,

Death approaches, stalking toward me

I beg, thee, slow it down

Do let me savor every word,

Every leaf, sunrise, sunset, 

Each mighty blade of grass

Stay back! Get back! 

Do grant me time to answer this

Is there a true last word? 

Is there a word to last?

[phantomtimbre]

Fireworks Across the Brain

Lips press together, firmly, puckering

As I murmured something

Like “mama”, “dada”, “baba”,

Babbling, because I could

For I was born to breathe

Words into existence

Precious somethings that mean something

Even if I didn’t know it yet

What meaning meant

That a buzzing, fuzzy feeling

From somewhere deep within

Could make || things || happen

You’re blinking now || blink || blink || blink

You’re breathing on command

Just like that

I make || things || happen

Putting names to faces

Names to aghhhh, and ahh, and aw

Expressing, and then easing

Guilt, regret, repentance

I learned a code before I knew

What code actually is

Fireworks explode across the brain

In chains, a channel, custom-made

For and by the universe to speak into its body

Carefully processing

The execution of a program

Searching for a word or phrase to perfectly portray

The perception of the senses

Such as “perfectly”, “perception”

To fold it neatly up, sort it into boxes

And cluttered closet space

But there often comes a time

When there seems to be

No fitting combination

Of letters, punctuation

So, as the maker that I am

Bound by laws we drafted

I make one up, print it onto paper

With the printed word, “official”

Pin it up with all the others

To organize myself, paraphrase my life

Make them make me who I am

A god, whose existence only lies

Within that which it created

Defined, and then defied

By its myriad of children, written, spoken

Only limited

By the beaded streaks of lightning

Roaring, silent through the mind

Tiny, quiet neurons that ignited

To give themselves a name

Then named the mind, the brain,

The cosmos in entirety,

And all that it contains

[phantomtimbre]

Your Tears of Love

There was not a word as sweet

Soft and warm, had me, enticed,

As that of which you spoke to me 

Silent, from your eyes

I knew, you knew, I loved you too

And spoke it just the same

Tears were born, streaking down

Did glisten on your face 

I kissed those drops of honey

I tasted of their love

Language far past space and word

Small, still large as stars

[phantomtimbre]

The Hand that Wouldn't Feed You

Morning tickles the feet, nibbles the ears

Kisses the eyes awake

As the dream turns over its watch

Thoughts pound against the brain

Against the stomach

I don't think I want coffee again

To break my fast

I want something real

To fill a hole that weeps and moans

Growls throughout the day

For sustenance

Craving something I need too much of

But to starve, I say

Is sweet, and gives a kind of truth

The kind that holds a mirror 

To your belly

And whispers, look

Look at what is, and what is not

And when my eyes 

Meet that reflected light 

There is no shape, nor flesh, nor blood,

Because at some point

The stomach could no longer

Swallow its hunger

So it swallowed itself instead 

Even digesting splintered bones

And hair and teeth and nails

That I must question

Everything I think I know

To get my body back

To where I told it

It never belonged 

When I should have hugged it instead

Let it be fed, but either way, it hurts

In the brutal battle of wills 

Where blood runs clear and thin

Where the tide can not pick a side

And stick with it

And with two hands groping the thighs

Pinching inches of fat

Turns the tide

So for today

Coffee is breakfast again

Burning and black

To torture the tongue 

Into submission

Declare victorious

But on, snarls the monster

In protest, on my diary of skin, I write

Dear stomach…please shut up. Sincerely, The hand that wouldn't feed you

[phantomtimbre]

Today, I Fall Again

Today, I fell in love

Again

Falling deeply into eyes

That see the world in vivid color

As I dream in black and white

[phantomtimbre]

Love in Life

(I apologize for my lack of activity, I've been short on time!)

Dreaming into tomorrow as the clock tick-tip-toes-by

With salty tang does love cascade

Down my face, my cheeks

Past my lips, pooling in my lungs

Gurgling in euphoric bliss

Seal it with a gentle kiss

Sight turns to static till love revives it

Pulsing stars bleed their light

Through space and time, I catch it

So, so beautiful, I think-I think I have to die

Love suffereth long, I suffer love

For all that floods the greatest, strangest dream

A dream of mine, of all, that whispers soft to me

You lie awake, lie awake in life in love

Fills my heart with quenching hunger

Black holes spread through skin and soul

Kill me Kiss me Kill me

Kiss me up and swallow

[phantomtimbre]

As a Goddess

Something smells…

                               Ever sweet and sickening

JOLTING, starting forward, startled

Credits rolling down the static

Struck with strangest realization

That there is no thought or memory

Of that moment

Eyes

Swung

Shut

And did not open

To sleep

Dreaming through the movie

Drifting into darkness

That chewed and gulped my body

As all the stars gazed lazily

And though I’d tumbled closer

They seemed further than before

Dreaming on into oblivion

On my longest journey home

Evermore returning

Becoming, evermore

As thoughts whispered through my mind

Something smells…

                                Relentless, and familiar

Some virus

Penetrating the nostrils

Permeating the pores

My body could not conquer

As it recognized, submitted

To its lover and offender

And there was no sweet perfume

Nor cologne, so dense and pungent

To hide the smell of rot, decay

Stinking scent of time

And as I dreamt

Before I woke

I remembered all

But forgetting, as my lashes flutter

Open, yet always closed

With every careful step

Weighed down by force of gravity,

With every violent breath

Worn and ragged, rattling,

As I violate my death

Life, I am creating

[phantomtimbre]

The Fall

Power lines: tortured soldiers in a row 

Up the poles climb natures ancients 

Steel, water boarded with leeching moss

Limbs of trees, with vengeance, claw

Squirrels with precious innocence 

Birds in their naivety 

They dance along and do not know

Just one step wrong, the shock is strong 

They will not last to feel the fall

Prey to humans who pray to ease

And costly power, as they eat 

That of which was never given

Which thrusts against, pushes, stretches 

Walls, tissue thin, of man’s intestines 

They won’t last long, but of the fall

They’ll feel each and every 

Slow

Slow

Slow

Excruciating moment 

And nature will not save them 

But god will sit and watch it

[phantomtimbre]

Imagine Me...Dead

Imagine me…

Skinny

Perfect and pretty

Imagine me…Clean

Me up and shake off the dust

Shake off the rough and the rust

Brush off the fat, the flab, the bust

Make me beautiful

Make me enough

Enough

Good enough

Make me good enough

That I’ll lie so lovely, so pretty, so skinny

With the dirt and the worms

There’s nothing so perfect

My skin as wrinkled

As the shriveled-up petals

Of white rotting lilies

They’d place by my name

So long-ago faded

Imagine my skeleton

Imagine me pretty

[phantomtimbre]

Mental

I am hurting from the burden of my anguish

I am hurting from the purging of my pain

Another shot. To help take the edge off

I am insane.

I am insane.

I am insane.

[phantomtimbre]

Mosaic

Ah, that face of story and lore

Like peering in a mirror of stained glass

Let a chest swell with pride

At an artist of artists

“Here, take your pick”

A little from her, a little from him

Creating a mosaic of whimsical spirit

Ever-changing with nature’s wind

Running hands down tiles to feel each indent;

Each voice tucked inside

Of ideas, beliefs

Of ethics, expressions;

Cannot have one without the other

Shall be no whole without each shard

Some may be wished to be cut away

Oh! Do hesitate! On my knees, I beg

Take a peek upside down

See something not otherwise seen

Each is to be honored, revered

In new light, if need be

In hand, one piece,

Or many, with need for a home

To find its place in a grander design

Often viewed through a single lens

But if one stepped back, one would see

A work of art, complex

Different from many

Though sharing same shades, colors, shapes

Pretty pictures pressed together

Lovely in their own little way

Ah, gaze upon 

From close, faraway

At a delicate work

Easily broken to form something novel and bold

Perfect in that it cannot be replicated

Admire it, I plead

For there shall be not one like unto it

[phantomtimbre]

Existing Solely in the Eyes of Others

Tragic, A victim of absolute reality

Fractured-heart only beating

When I lie in the irises

And when you sleep

I am only a cluster of neurons

Together, carefully pieced

Shaped into a dream

A dream that is me

[phantomtimbre]

Life Beyond Mine

I have lost my eyes

But I am still blinking

So that bony orbit might not go dry

I am blind

But my mind still clings to my vision

There is sight

Beyond seeing

Seeking

Beyond seeing

There Is

A life beyond mine

[phantomtimbre]

Ex-Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (but no one knows what that means, so I’ll just call this: Ex-Mormon)

Hello, brothers and sisters

I would like to bear my testimony 

that I know this church is true? Hm…

Words I spoke so long ago…

Words I thought I’d always say

With my whole heart, might, mind, and strength

Please, allow me to rephrase:

Drips of oil down my hair

Down my head and down my cheeks

That they almost looked like tears

Bore my badge of black and white;

At the pulpit, bore my faith, and then I cried

So they smiled; praised my strong devotion

Now they’d beg me back

Panting dogs

Who speak with eyes

Hand their priests their leash

Who conditioned their convictions

Loved me

Loved by words and not the verb

Loving, “unconditional”

Eyeing where I pricked my skin with ink

Checking if I sip his blood and chew his flesh

Plastering wide grins across their faces

Biggest hugs with glances at my assets

That I do not try to hide

Loved me

Loved me not

Buried me in water

Smothered me in oil

So I snatched my name away;

Bear it in my testimony:

I will not regret it

In the name of me, myself, and I

Amen.

[phantomtimbre]

On the Tightrope of Reality

With your finger...

Trace, but do not touch me

Or I may melt 

Into the air you breathe