Dip And Pip

That’s ace

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Phil: Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby??

Dan: What’s a matter baby

Phil: Nothing sweetie, what’s a matter with you?

Dan: I literally did not see that coming

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Dan: I have never done anything gay in my entire life

Phil: I’m gay

Dan:

Dan: I have done one gay thing in my life

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Dan: Do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts

Phil: Yes, but the problem is I don’t want to get murdered you feel me?

Chris: I feel you

PJ: We all feel you

Phil: Why are so many people touching me

Louise: This is why you don’t walk around in the middle of the night

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Dan: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing?

Phil: No, it’s called highjacking

Chris: Guys, it’s called weedwhacking

Louise: No, it’s called disappointing your mother

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Louise: Okay, let’s stop using the term ‘Butthurt’. We’re not twelve anymore.

Dan: You sound fannytroubled.

Phil: A little bootybothered if you ask me.

Chris: Someone’s having a tushytantrum.

[phillesterslefteyeyebrow]

P

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Pj: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Phil: What if I bite it and it dies? Dan: That means you’re poisonous. Phil: What if it bites itself and I die? Marzia:…That’s voodoo. Louise: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Felix: That’s correlation, not causation. Dan: What if we bite each other and neither of us die? Chris: That’s kinky. 

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Phil: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Dan: …

Phil: Aye matey

Dan: GO TO HELL THAT WAS CLEVER

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Phil: I like my tea like I like my men

Dan, hopeful: Hot and British?

Phil: Thrown in the Boston harbor

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Dan: My name backwards spells “disappointment and skin problems"

Phil: Nice to meet you, Smelborp Niks Dna Tnemtnioppasid

Chris: You really shouldn’t put your full name on the Internet, it’s not safe

Dan: I’m done

Pj: Smelborp for president

Felix: Smelborp has my vote

Louise: Smelborp will be the next great leader

Dan: All of you are sarcastic little shits

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Phil: Why is no one freaking out about Mater from Cars? The guy lives in a junkyard full of car parts…which wouldn’t be that bad if he didn’t exist in a universe of talking cars

Phil: He sleeps surrounded by discarded organs and hollowed out corpses

Dan: The Cars universe is so fucked up if you give it more than twenty seconds of thought

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Dan: There’s a big sale going on right now

Phil: Really, where?

Dan: In my room. Clothes are 100% off *winks*

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Dan: Okay Phil, I’m going to ask you a bunch of questions and every time you have to answer by saying “ketchup and liquor” okay?

Phil: Okay!

Dan: What did you have for breakfast?

Phil: Ketchup and liquor

Dan: What did you have for lunch?

Phil: Ketchup and liquor

Dan: What do you do when you see a hot girl running down the street?

Phil: Ketchup and Liqour

Phil: DAN

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Phil: Did you know that a spider can hold eight guns at once

Dan: How does it WALK

Phil: Did you know that a spider can hold seven guns at once

Dan: But now I’m just picturing a spider hopping along on one leg

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Phil: I don’t consider myself hip

Phil: I’m like

Phil: Shoulder

Dan: No, you’re an ass

[phillesterslefteyeyebrow]

Phil: no I’m in your ass

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Dan: Did you know that 1 in 4 people is gay?

Dan: That means at was one of the fantastic foursome is gay

Dan: I hope it’s Phil

Dan: Phil is cute

Pj: …

[incorrectquotesfromphan]

Dan: I can’t express how much I hate fucking bees

Phil: Then stop fucking bees??? It’s a really simple solution

Dan: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT

Phil: Not after bee movie we don’t

[phillesterslefteyeyebrow]

Don’t tell the vegans

A salad is a dead garden