Vesper

“I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake.” Asks & DMs Open

[philosophicalvexation]

━━━╋ ABOUT ME.

“ The moon will sing a song for me… “

// VESPER \\

They/it/she/he/doll/bun/fae/bat/sparkle

22 Years Old

Agender Gaybian

Alterhuman

Occasionally Writes

Leo Sun • Virgo Rising • Pisces Moon

No DNI

Anons :

━━━╋ GENERAL.

“ …I loved you like the sun. “

Interests —

Reading ,, Writing ,, Poetry ,, Music ,, Dark Academia ,,Philosophy ,, Psychology ,, Ball-Jointed Dolls ,, Tea ,, Sweets ,, Anime ,, Manga ,, LPS ,, Playing Guitar ,, Art ,, Learning New Things ,, Sleeping ,, Foxes ,, Cozy Blankets ,, Going On Walks ,, Rainy Days ,, Dark Religious Themes ,, Dark Circus Themes ,, Antiques ,, Sanrio ,, Kawaii Aesthetic ,, Jirai Kei ,, Plushies

Fandoms —

Arcane ,, KPDH ,, TFC ,, Link Click ,, JJK ,, Secrets of the Silent Witch ,, HXH ,, OHSHC ,, BSD ,, Madoka Magica ,, Castlevania ,, Dungeon Meshi ,, Case Study of Vanitas ,, TGCF ,, The Witch and the Beast ,, Given ,, Nana ,, Nekopara ,, Pretty Boy Detective Club ,, Black Butler ,, Death Note ,, Epic the Musical ,, Heathers ,, The Bone Witch , The Vampire Chronicles ,, TSH ,, Heartless ,, OUABH ,, Caraval ,, ACOTAR ,, Grishaverse ,, TCP ,, NSO ,, The Arcana ,, FNAF ,, YKMET ,, TPOF ,, DDLC ,, TCOAAL ,, MiSide ,, Magnus Archives ,, Mariolore ,, Lisa Frankenstein ,, Hannibal NBC ,, MLP ,, Dead Poet’s Society ,, Persona 5 ,, Phantom of the Opera ,, HSR

Kintypes —

Fallen Angel ,, Ghost ,, Cryptid ,, Ball-Jointed Doll ,, Fox ,, Bunny

F/Os (colored = non-sharing) —

Fox/Ren Hana (TPOF/YKMET) ,, Strade (YKMET) ,, Jester (TFC) ,, Toji (JJK) ,, Chrollo (HXH) ,, Dazai (BSD) ,, Chuuya (BSD) ,, Akutagawa (BSD) ,, Xie Lian (TGCF) ,, Hua Cheng (TGCF) ,, Ciel (Black Butler) ,, Alois (Black Butler) ,, Sebastian (Black Butler) ,, Jacks (OUABH) ,, Azriel (ACOTAR) ,, Rhys (ACOTAR) ,, Helion (ACOTAR) ,, Nadia (The Arcana) ,, Asra (The Arcana) ,, Ashley (TCOAAL) ,, Andrew (TCOAAL) ,, Applejack (MLP) ,, Rarity (MLP) ,, Joker (Persona 5)

BYF

I am an alterhuman who also uses transspecies as a label. I am supportive of people exploring dark themes in fiction and shipping as they please. I fully support good faith contradictory labels. I am very neurodivergent and awkward. I love making friends, but I might be shy at first. I do not want any discourse brought onto this blog.

[pukicho]

Some tumblr users are evil woke. They use the power of good for evil.

[philosophicalvexation]

Are you SWAGalicious or are you FAGalicious?

Heh, well…

Only time can tell😏

[medleyofmind]

my firsts post... this is some of the methods my system uses to tell me they're real. we've mulled it over and felt like sharing it because the community on tumblr has helped us a lot with understanding and accepting things. <3

[philosophicalvexation]

systems be like:

[philosophicalvexation]

Have other systems experienced this?

I am suspected of having DID/OSDD. Leaning towards the latter, but it is unsure.

For a bit of background context, I had something happen when I was a child that led to me being very scared of the police.

Fast forward a couple years ago when I was 19. In the parking lot of my old school I had accidentally bumped into another car and it caused damage to their vehicle. A policeman was called over and was asking me questions.

From the start, I felt numb. I was dissociating heavily, not picking up on much of what he was saying. At first my responses were only mumbled, basically incoherent. Internally I was starting to panic and it was getting worse and worse. Then, he was talking and I was answering despite not having any clue what to say. it was like I wasn’t in control of my mouth. I responded clearly, firmly, and maybe with slight hesitation. My hands were shaking and I was fidgeting a lot still and the ”me” that was talking moved my hands to my hoodie pocket and made me stand up straighter. I was still controlling the fidgeting and was thinking while this happened.

The entire time while this was happening and I was internally panicking, it was like there was this presence almost shushing me and telling me I’d be okay. There was no speaking or anything, just calm emotions being sent my way. It felt motherly and safe in a way I can’t describe.

My switches are usually the type where I feel as if I’m “becoming” another alter rather than having the body being controlled. This was the first time it felt as if someone else was controlling me, and it hasn’t happened since.

So, is this what co-fronting looks like for others? And would it be wise to try reaching out to this “mother figure“ if I haven’t experienced her presence since?