shhh!

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

[phoebestclair]

hanncisms·:

        Weekends were pretty quiet at Broadripple with most of the student body and faculty away visiting their homes and families. Only those who lived too far away to travel or just didn’t want to leave remained on campus and this weekend Hanna found herself among the latter. It wasn’t that she was avoiding home or anything, simply that she hadn’t felt like packing up and returning this week. Something that certainly earned her an earful from her mildly disappointed mother who had no doubt planned yet another jam packed weekend. Three years at Broadripple and the woman still acted as if they were apart for years every time she came home when in reality it was usually only five days. 

       Lounging in one of the living areas Hanna laid happily content in her cocoon of plushy blankets on the couch. Dark hues fixated upon the only light source emitting from a few feet away; the television. It was rare to find the large screen not being hogged by a bunch of uncivilized freshmen fighting over what to watch. So when Hanna saw a chance to use the vacancy to her advantage and binge watch something she wanted for once, she jumped at it. Her attention only drifted upon the sudden presence she felt behind her. “If you expect me to move any time soon or relinquish my ownership of the remote you’re sorely mistaken.” 

It had been a few weeks since Phoebe had been home. Technically, she didn’t have to until next weekend, but she wasn’t really in any rush to leave campus. That much would’ve been obvious to anyone peeking over her shoulder. In her hands her phone was resting patiently as she walked, the bright little screen showing a series of missed calls. She could keep scrolling for a while and keep seeing them, some from her mom, her dad, even her sister. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to them -- she liked hearing their voices, knowing what her little brother was up to and what was going on in their lives. It was just that it got a little hard to keep up with every day.

For a while she thought about calling them right now -- she hadn’t yet today, and it was probably a good a time as any. Most of the students around were gone, so she wasn’t all that worried about privacy. Just as she dialed, though, picking the phone up to her ear, she accidentally bumped into a piece of furniture, dropping her phone in surprise and accidentally causing it to fly across the room. Through the speaker she could vaguely hear her mother’s voice going, Hello? Phoebe? Hello?, making her quickly run to press the red ‘end call’ button. Standing, she greeted the other girl with a shy nod, shaking her head when she realized she was being addressed by her. “Oh! ---No, I don’t want your remote. What are you watching?” Tilting her head at the screen was a welcome diversion from having to make eye contact. “Sorry. I guess I didn’t know anyone else was here.”

[themindmovement]

I can tell you that the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.

Jim Carrey (via themindmovement)

[phoebestclair]

sawyerleviathan·:

Feeling his hand along the patched up fence, Sawyer couldn’t help but feel solemn. Sure he wasn’t sneaking off through the old hole like he had been his first two years at BA, but it held memories. That, and he needed to sneak into the woods and away from the rangers’ sight if he wanted to have a smoke. Unfortunately, that seemed impossible now.

“Is this really all because of that rabbit or did the school just want an excuse to fix this thing so people stop wandering into Lorehill to have sex?” Sawyer joked to whoever was near when he heard feet behind him. He wasn’t even sure who it was as he kept trying to peak through the chainlink, but it didn’t even matter. Sawyer would have a conversation with a rock. “Are you also here to mourn the loss of the fence opening?”

“Hm?” Phoebe was slightly taken aback by the clear and sudden presence of a voice by her. She could be observant, sometimes, but other times, like right now --- her mind was bustling, busy, distracted and combatted and clustered with things. Too many things. So many things. She actually hadn’t realized she’d wandered out this far beyond the dorms; so when she came to a head at a fence and a body she stopped in her tracks, trying to appear nonchalant. Cool. Casual. Maybe even friendly, if the heavy surveillance and sudden hysteria surrounding BA could allow for her to not seem so off. 

But then... it registered what had actually been said, and she felt her body temperature rising. Rather than risk seeming so spastic she held off on saying something for a bit, just to collect her thoughts. What she wasn’t aware of was the fact that her face was speaking for her, brows raised beyond their limit and lips tight with anxiety. Once she settled on what to say, she was able to relax her face with a slow breath, nodding. “I would imagine the fence was probably on their list for a while. I’m surprised it wasn’t taken care of earlier, to be honest.” Phoebe tried to smile, but new conversations always made her feel a little shy. “No, but funny story. I went for a walk and just kind of ended up here. I’ve never actually seen this hole before. I heard about some kids talking about it once in health class but I kind of thought it might be a myth or something.” 

[phoebestclair]

simurst·:

It was so different. He knew coming back would be different, but he hadn’t been prepared for just how different everything really felt. From the moment Simon stepped back onto school property, the staff who’d stayed behind from the ski trip looked at him like he was damaged goods… and nothing had prepared him for that. They gave him awkward smiles and asked him how he was feeling as if he’d just gotten over some fleeting stomach bug and with manners drilled into him from the time he could crawl, Simon could only muster a smile back and say “Yeah, good, thanks.” before ducking out of sight and wanting to melt into the floorboards. He’d never been good with attention. But concealing his thoughts? That was particularly his specialty, it always had been.

For the most part, he’d tried to keep out of people’s way. He didn’t want to draw any extra attention, in fact, he would have just been happy for people to pretend like he hadn’t even gone anywhere to begin with.  It was wishful thinking that that might happen, but still, against all odds, he’d tried to pray about it last night anyway. Maybe, since he’d been good, and if he continued to be good, he’d get his wishes.

Seeing the school bag abandoned on the tabletop, Simon was mostly busy keeping to himself and the podcast through his headphones. He couldn’t help it though when he noticed the ranger by the doorway to the grounds talking to a teacher, and continuously eyeing off the ominous bag with no apparent owner. Except that there was. Simon had seen them not two minutes ago before they’d darted out of the room for something. In a way, he kind of felt like its silent keeper. Like if anything bad was to happen, he’d watch over it. So when the teacher also looked at the bag suspiciously, and the ranger began to move towards it, Simon found himself levitating out of his seat and grabbing the strap of it quickly. He served them a friendly smile before pulling the bag towards him, setting it beside his own and going to take a seat again. That is, until the owner returned and his rear instantly shot off the seat again in a fluster to explain that he wasn’t about to steal anything. “Sorry. They were looking at it and I just thought, maybe they wanted to take it. I know I shouldn’t have touched it. I’m really sorry.” He apologized again, just in case it wasn’t clear how bad he felt for thinking so irrationally. “They seem really strict at the moment, I just didn’t want them to confiscate it or something. I promise I didn’t mean to do anything.”

Phoebe was only gone for a millisecond --- or, well, a collection of milliseconds. Really, no time at all. Tracing it back in her mind, her phone had beeped in her pocket, chirping to her like a pet waiting for attention. Not wanting to disturb the others around her, she’d swiftly left the immediate area to answer discreetly. It wasn’t technically against the rules for where they were but she still felt strangely guilty. Sort of like how she felt driving by cop cars, or reading books in the bookstore before buying them, or leaving dirty dishes out at a cafe with no washing bins. Or any number of things, really. Sometimes just the thought of existing was enough to send her into an anxiety spiral.

But. The phone. Normally, she’d silence it immediately, but she didn’t want to be rude, and what’s more, she saw the name on the screen flashing: Mom. It was peculiar, since usually she didn’t get those calls until nighttime when she was already in her dorm. So she ran to answer it, forgetting or maybe just not wanting to chance that it wasn’t an emergency considering she’d actually forgotten to call last night. Or was it two nights? It had been a busy week. Really, really busy...

She was so frantic when she hung up and realized she’d left all her stuff behind without having anyone accounting for it, her scrawny legs almost rushed her straight into one of the new security rangers. Thankfully, the collision didn’t happen, but the suggestion of it was enough to make her stumble red-faced back to where she’d left her bag. 

“It’s okay,” Phoebe began, although it sounded small and breathless and not quite so reassuring. “I --” She stopped, waving her hand to let herself calm down for a beat. “I know what you mean. I’ve been on edge ever since they got here. -- Not because I did anything wrong!” Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all, Pheebs. “Uh. What I meant to say was, thank you. I can’t lose this thing, it’s way too important, you know?” 

[jokerinyaraizi]

[phoebestclair]

elijahpreaker·:

                                                   The school hid what was left of the art block trauma with dullness painted upon the walls of imprisonment — sickly cover ups led to an gnawing that resided in the lining of his stomach. A vast unthreading had caused him to desperately find normalcy amongst the hallowed halls that had troops lined up, fingertips trigger ready - hues embedding into students secrets. It was easier to hide amongst the gossip, keep ears open to those naive enough to believe that a bear attack did take place or to those whom believed a darker omen was involved. Perhaps it was naive to think both? Yet, only one caused him to itch towards Holy Water.

                               He finds himself sitting outside the Chapel, an irony itself, yet it allows him to hold onto the innocence he had once had before when he was young. Grapple in the memories that his father and him one shared; before he had gone cold. As a shadow looms, he doesn’t dare to look up from his couple of Romeo & Juliet, “Please, mr bear, don’t eat me, I have so much to live for.” He drawls, laughter breaking at his own joke.

“Mr. who?” Phoebe’s voice rang with a certain kind of innocent confusion, clutching her bible and journal firmly to her chest. It wasn’t a protective measure. Though it was slowly getting warmer as winter temperatures melted into spring, she still felt cold most days. That, and when she carried a bible it was always with both hands. Like she held the utmost respect and reverence for it.

She’d just walked outside the chapel, previously empty which made it a good time to do some quiet meditation. She couldn’t remember seeing anyone outside when she came, but maybe she’d just been there longer than she thought. Some things had been weighing on her mind lately. “I, um.” Speak, Phoebe. “Didn’t mean to intrude. I didn’t know anyone else was around here. What are you reading?” She knew sometimes that could be a tricky question. Even she didn’t always like to answer it when she had a good book or a particularly interesting train of thought going, but she couldn’t help being curious.

[uoa]

accidentally sending ;) instead of :) and feeling like you’ve just offered them your body

[phoebestclair]

mattveras·:

Matt just nodded with a slight smile considering those words were always music to his ears. As he leaned slightly forward to eye out of her notes, his eyes scanned the page. “Wow.” He supposed he didn’t necessarily see the world as romantically as someone who could gather muse from couple on a bus, but then again everyone had their own calling. “That’s really talented and inspiring.” He conveyed in a genuine tone. “Oh no,” He started as he furrowed his brow suspiciously. “Phoebe, I think he was hitting on you.” He hated to state the obvious when Phoebe always seemed well… oblivious. Not that he was exactly one to talk. “You what? Why?” 

“Wow?” Suddenly she felt very shy. It wasn’t every old day she impressed somebody, but especially Matt. She hoped that’s what it was, and not... judgement. “Oh.” Her face relaxed from its intense pensiveness. “Matthew. That’s ridiculous. He’s an employee, he’s just doing his job, it’s no big deal.” Phoebe was vastly uncomfortable with the idea of that, so that must’ve meant it simply wasn’t true. It was more than that, though. She wanted to see the good in people, even if at times that meant blind optimism. “Why not? You’re nice, you’re inviting, you care about stuff. Real stuff. I like talking to you. And, you know. Hanging out.” Real avocado-spread smooth, Pheebs.

[zooeydeschanel]

[phoebestclair]

mattveras·:

“I think socially acceptable is sort of beyond us now after you landing in my lap.” He attempted to poke fun, finding maybe if he had she would loosen up in the slightest. “Oh, yeah?” Matthew asked in the tone as if he wanted her to elaborate without so much as asking for her to. “Oh, okay.” He was sure the rental booth guy was probably creepy just from observation of her saying ‘nice’ but then again, he often passed judgment prematurely. Reaching for her hand hesitantly, he stood up and positioned them so he was walking behind her so he could reach for her to balance with both their hands together. “Wait, you did?” A look of perplexity took over his face as he curiously eyed around. “But why?” 

“I think you’re probably right,” she laughed, feeling herself start to relax a little. Not completely, because she was still Phoebe, but that was more than she could say for most of the day. “Yeah. All sorts of scribbles and poems and little, I don’t know, slivers, I guess. Scenes. Detailed descriptions of things I see. Like  this one,” she said, flipping to a page she‘d written about a couple on a bus. It was mostly made up, but a lot of it was inspired from coming here. “Yup. Super nice. He even gave me his number for when I wanted help around the lodge.” Admittedly, when she walked, she was leaning on him for more than just balancing herself. “Well, because... I wanted to go with you.”

[aslowyear]

[kendalsroy]

[phoebestclair]

mattveras·:

Matthew shyly looked up to eye the necklace around her neck. Taking care of people always put him at ease, even if it was something as simple as giving her something as small as a gold necklace he wore. “I’m glad.” He said, finally looking down as he nodded. “To people watch, sip on some hot chocolate. I don’t think it’s creepy. People watch tv, don’t they?” He attempted to reason. “How is your writing?” Matt asked, genuinely having his interested piqued. “Oh, right. Well.” He hummed for a moment, before chuckling quietly at her gesture. “I’ve got good balance, but I don’t know if I’m much of a skater. Guess we can find out, I wouldn’t want you falling alone.” For Matt to get something, it would’ve had to be spelled out. Subtleness wasn’t exactly his forte. With hesitance, he reached out and patted Phoebe’s knee. “I don’t think it was, I mean. I wondered it, but I was thinking maybe you’d be asked by someone else.” Then again, he was terrified of any sort of physical contact after first base.

It might’ve been her imagination, but Matt actually looked happier now that she wasn’t so embarrassed. “Yeah, but TV is socially acceptable. But... thanks for saying that.” She figured if they still hung out they might’ve done it together. “Oh, great. I’m getting so many new ideas being here. I must’ve filled up like, half this journal already,” Phoebe said, sheepishly lifting it up. Sure enough, half of the pages looked fuller and more creased from overuse at the edges. And slight warping from the falling snowflakes. “That’s the spirit! Come on, I’ll help you get your skates. The guy at the rental booth is really nice.” Standing (more like wobbling at first), she held out her hand for him to take. The knee pat didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, her face was still flushed from the minor contact. “Oh. No. I mean, I did, but... I turned them down.” The unspoken part of that was because she thought he was going to ask her.

[phoebestclair]

mattveras·:

“Yeah, it’s no worries.” He continued in attempt to get that worried panicked look off of Phoebe’s face he was oddly used to. In a strange way, he always felt like whether it be rescuing her dog, or making her feel at ease in a situation by offering her something, he just wanted her to not wear that distressed expression. “I really want you to have it.” Matthew insisted with a nod as he finally averted his gaze away, and reached up to itch his face like it wasn’t already numb from the weather. The sentiment was nice in her response, even if he hadn’t understood it. “Uh, yeah. I’m glad you like it.” A nervous chuckle followed as his eyes paid a glance to the skating rink. “I don’t know.” He said in thought before he turned to listen. “I do? Oh.” As quickly as he wondered about the thought, the memory returned to him. Admittedly, he did like his date with Phoebe the summer before, but it scared him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t invite her out for the couple’s skate. “You were looking for me? I mean,” Blinking once, he sighed. He didn’t want her to look on the edge of tears again. “If you wanna go skating, we can. Did you really want me to ask you back in Boston?”

Phoebe nodded at the reassurance, finally able to catch her breath. It always seemed next to impossible around Matt. “I love it,” she corrected, smile still worn into her features. “Did you come to people watch, then? I do that sometimes. Not in, like, a creepy way. Just observationally? For like. Writing purposes.” This time it was an awkward smile that pressed her lips, but it was still uniquely Phoebe. “Yeah, of course. I mean, we don’t have to. It was mostly gonna be me jerking your chain and then we go read at a lounge or something. But then I just ended up here. And there you were. And there I was... tripping. Um.” A finger gun directed out of her right hand from a snap. “But yeah, if you wanna go, we absolutely should. I need a buddy otherwise I’ll hug the wall the whole time and look silly. -- Hm?” That question was posed to her almost like it caught her completely off guard. Because it did. “Uh, yeah. I did. Was it really not obvious?” Back then she thought maybe she’d been too aggressive. Evidently that was not the case.

[phoebestclair]

mattveras·:

“Yeah, no problem.” Matt voiced quietly behind her, still awkwardly struggling with his arm placement. At best, it was Phoebe, and the memory wouldn’t be too scarring, at worst, people were starring and wondering what the heck was going on. At least it’d be over soon, and maybe he could somehow save the embarrassing moment with a better subject than fumbling through words. That was, until he felt his necklace tug up from beneath his shirt. He supposed that spoke volumes as to how close Phoebe actually was. His face felt more heated than previously, as he tried to laugh off how this moment seemed to be taking a turn for the worse. “No, no. Don’t worry about it.” Matthew tried to reassure. Even if he was feeling like he regret leaving the area by the fire place in the lobby, it wasn’t her fault. At least, not intentionally. His eyes were shakily going back and forth from viewing things other than directly what was in front of him until she gave him the cue that all was clear. “Okay.” He mumbled quietly before eying down at the exposed necklace. It wasn’t like it had any special meaning to him other than it being The Virgin Mary. “Oh, yeah. Uh… thanks. It is, yeah.” Reaching to tug it off over his head, he held it out on his palm. “Do you want it?” He didn’t give any sort of explanation, but he was hoping she’d stop rambling on about it and this scenario if he offered. 

Her eyes were already glassy from the cold, but at his question, she froze again, feeling strangely and deeply sentimental. “Are you sure?” She asked, frowning with a sniffled nose. “Yeah, I mean, I’d love that.” Yes, mere moments ago she’d been rambling about how she didn’t wear gold jewelry ever, but that didn’t much matter now. “Only if you really want me to.” She couldn’t decide now whether the appropriate reaction was to tear up or blush. Currently, she was doing both. Taking it in her hands, she pressed it between her palms at first, then held it to her cheek, smiling when she felt it was warm. “I promise I’ll never take it off. Are you going skating?” Phoebe gestured to the rink in front of them, after she’d looped the necklace over her shoulders and clasped it neatly behind her. “It’s funny. I was actually looking for you earlier. You know, technically, you still owe me a couple’s skate.” She was mostly teasing, given that they’d actually never made it to the one back home in Boston, but they’d kind of lost touch after the baseball game they went to. She wanted to think it was just because BA kept him busy, but a part of her wondered if it was on purpose.

[trait-deactivated20221010]

this is my life summed up in one conversation

[phoebestclair]

ediams·:

+ @phoebestclair reacted for a starter!

Eden didn’t like the cold much, so being outside wasn’t really one of her first options when it came to potentially skiing or hiking through the snow. Instead, she liked the calmness of The Blue House and the fact she could stick near the fireplace with a book in her lap and otherwise not be bothered. The interesting part? She’d kind of adopted a silent reading partner. Phoebe was new to the academy, and Eden knew how daunting that could be, especially on a school trip if you didn’t have any friends around. So maybe she wasn’t the most friendly person right off the bat, but initially she’d moved her legs to let Phoebe hog the other side of the couch and from then on, things only seemed to get more pleasant between them. Next, Eden asked if she wanted a tea when she made herself one so it felt like progress. Maybe a new friendship was blossoming, who knew?

The serenity of peace and quiet didn’t last long enough for her to find out. Because come day two of the trip, the place was swarming with public school kids from who knows where and once Eden read the same line thrice, she was done. Livid, even. And it caused her to suddenly snap at a bunch of freshmen behind them who were being idiots in the living area, taking up too much space and making too much noise. Watching their eyes go wide and their faces drop, it wasn’t long before the group meandered outside with their coats, clearly whispering things about Eden as they went. But she didn’t care. If anything, she just looked at Phoebe next to her and began to laugh incredulously. “Oh my god, I just yelled at them…” She covered her mouth in shock. “Oh, that was so bad. I told myself I had to stop doing that, it totally just came out.”

Thank heaven for Eden Williams. Phoebe was fearing being stuck inside by herself this whole time. Not because there wouldn’t be other people around. She knew there would be, but talking to them successfully was a whole other ballgame. First impressions weren’t always her strong suit. Sometimes it took the presence of a truly familiar face to ease her mind. Which, unknowingly, was what Eden had become for her every day they sat in the same place with their books. Thankfully, the one time she knew to be quiet was in this exact situation. Even Phoebe could understand being bothered by an interruption during a particularly good part of a book. It wasn’t exactly a time for conversation, and she was okay with that. But, slowly yet surely, she was losing her nervous edge around her newfound reading partner. She’d even started drinking tea with her.

Today, though, she was starting to regret not bringing any earbuds with her. It helped on occasion to use them for white noise when she was sitting in a crowded place, but until now the lodge hadn’t been crowded. She could sense the irritation growing from Eden’s side of the couch, and in the frenzy of the room it was easier to pick up on that than the paragraph Phoebe was reading.

Then Eden yelled, and Pheebs was ashamed to admit, the corners of her mouth turned into a smile. Then she burst out in giggles, looking over at the girl. Despite laughing along, her voice was still timidly quiet. “Actually, you’re kind of my hero. Are you saying you do that often? Because I may need to put you on speed dial. I definitely can not raise my own voice like that.” Jokingly, she did a small praising motion with her hands, then lowered them quietly wondering if it appeared sacrilegious. But she figured God wouldn’t mind.