Phoenix

20, npd, bpd, aspd, adhd, they\them, vent blog

[phoenix-fallen]

Intro post for anyone who comes across me ig

I'm Phoenix, I'm 20, nonbinary (they/them) and going to be using this account for venting, mental health related shit, and so on. Just need a place to put my unfiltered thoughts and feelings 💀 With that said, my main issues (lol) are NPD, BPD, and ASPD, along with some other stuff that may come up at some point (s/h and su1/cide, ADHD, OCD, etc). I'm not going to mask here at all, so if it makes you angry then, uhhh- I don't fucking care

Been in and out of therapy, have tried some meds but still working on finding ones that actually work, this blog isn't suitable for minors by the way. Anyone else, view at your own discretion.

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Some interests of mine include (feral canines/felines) art and writing (used to post art on Instagram but now only use Toyhouse for my stories and stuff). I also really enjoy frogs. I play games a lot when I'm not distracted with school, currently into the I'm on Observation Duty series and Deep Rock Galactic. 

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01/04/26 - adding to this rq

If you're "radqueer" (TransIDs, pro-contact para, etc), DNI. No, I don't think thought crime is a thing, so that's fine. Stop trying to fake disorders lmao </3

And if you run a "jirai kei" blog with pretty banners and yandere and shit and romanticize obsession and serious disorders, fuck off, thank you

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Think that's about it. Just using this blog for myself so don't really need to add anything else.

[phoenix-fallen]

just curious, what is your opinion on endo systems

I don't really have a firm stance on that one lol. I'm not a professional who studies complex dissociative disorders and I imagine the research on systems/pluralism (is that the term?) is still pretty limited and we're still learning about them given that they are complex disorders. Even sources like the DSM-5 are constantly adapting and changing. But I also know that at the end of the day, DID and the like are classified as dissociative disorders, not trauma disorders, and even credible sources (such as the DSM-5) describe it as "usually associated with trauma," not as a static rule or something part of the criteria. And I also think it's worth acknowledging that psychology and professionals isn't an absolute research, and the people in it are going to have biases or need to revise their findings and understandings over time as things are built on and updated so I generally don't believe psychology and the DSM-5 should be treated as completely correct and unquestioned (for all things, not just CDDs)

Tbh I don't think random people on Tumblr arguing about what is or is not possible are more qualified to decide this either, none of us are actually professionals doing research and mostly, I sort of just see this as incredibly polarized discourse where anyone outside of these spaces won't really have an opinion on it or pick a side based on internet arguments

So I guess to answer this ask simply, I don't think I'm qualified to answer that lmao, I'm a vent blog for my various PDs, not a psychologist who studies CDDs

So if that makes you consider me "anti-endo" "pro-endo" "endo-neutral" whatever and you want to block, go ahead lol

[infsomniac]

if youre pissed at me for whatever reason and refuse to tell me, i am not going to chase after you. dont expect me to try to read your mind and comfort you. i simply just wont care enough.

[antisocial-pd-culture-is]

ASPD + NPD + BPD traits is HATING anyone who calls themselves “yandere.” No, fuck off, you are not a fucking “yandere,” because you don’t understand what it is like to be obsessed by someone, to not care about anyone until you find an Exception/Chosen/Favorite person. Self-proclaimed “yanderes” don’t understand half the homicidal ideation, self-destruction, destroying others, obsession, idealization and devaluation, splitting, all-or-nothing mentality, delusions, internal hierarchies, unstable relationships, need for validation, etc., that I go through.

I have no Exceptions/Chosen/Favorite people nowadays and it feels like bliss. But still, fuck “yanderes.”

— 🥀🪼.

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[this-is-cluster-b-saneism]

cluster b saneism is my traits that were previously attributed to autism + ptsd and given grace for suddenly becoming all my fault and if I'm not in the most intensive/expensive therapy possible I'm an abuser just because I was diagnosed with NPD

This is cluster b saneism

[randomfriendlyloser]

Okay if you're honest about your stigmatized disorder to a group of people, be ready because from now on, they will ALWAYS just be at least a tiny bit cautious around you or not trust you fully, see all of your kind actions as "fake", and constantly think you're probably going to use them in some way lol you're never making friends again

[sodapillz]

My superpower is that threatening to kill yourself won’t work on me.

I don’t care <3

[npd-confessions]

It sucks major ass that getting diagnosed with a personality disorder depends on how much the patient is making life harder for everyone else, not on, you know, how the disorder makes them feel, or how it's affecting their life.

Oh yeah definitely, I hope there's a shift more towards internal experiences and how it affects the individual. Not saying that there shouldn't also be documentation of how it affects others as well, but there should also be focus on the sufferer's experiences and how it's affecting their life.

[moralekregoslupowe-deactivated2]

I think that with the surge of npd positivity from egotypicals we have forgotten that narcissists sometimes in fact do act shitty and do bad stuff because that's how npd works like. It's nice we acknowledge that narcs can be nice and sunshine and rainbows but for a lot of us that is just not the case? People say they accept pwnpd and then get surprised when I say I feel superior to everyone else. What are we doing.

[this-is-saneism]

Hey, so narcissistic abuse is an actual form of abuse different from physical/emotional abuse. This type of abuse leaves a different kind of impact on the victim(s) due to the abuser being a narcissist. Narcissistic abuse is more calculated and more precise than other forms of abuse, and the abuser is fully aware and conscious of what they are doing.

I also want to say that NPD is a very stigmatized disorder, people with NPD are not inherently abusive, and they deserve to be treated with respect. Not every abuser is a narcissist, and not every narcissist is an abuser. At the end of the day, I will fight for people with NPD. But at the end of the day, I am also a victim of narcissistic abuse. And by erasing the term, it invalidates my own abuse.

This is saneism.

Your experiences are valid, this term is not. Narcissistic abuse as a term encourages the continued stigmatization of NPD.

Plenty of people who abuse other people can be very much calculated and planned out without them having NPD. Your abuser having a specific disorder is not the reason they abused you, and saying it is also absolves them of responsibility, as it implies the abuse wouldn't have happened if they didn't have a specific medical condition.

I quite like this article. Please note it is by a therapist and they have an advertisement at the end.

Stop Using the Term "Narcissistic Abuse" - Here's what you should use - Tabitha Westbrook

Discover why the term narcissistic abuse is not be the most accurate term. Learn what language to use instead. Read more on our blog!

[ghostyypawzz]

me: "everyone should leave me. i'm nothing but a parasite in people's lives." also me the second someone's tone sounds off: "PLEASE DONT ABANDON ME PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME AAAAAAAA WAIT UUEUEEUEUEU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"

[byjove]

Why are people who were beaten by their parents so proud of being beaten by their parents?

[when-a-robin-chirps]

I don't know who needs to hear this but... You can just say someone's self-centric instead of labeling them narcissist. You can say someone has a taste for cruelty instead of calling them psychopath or sociopath. You can just say someone is quick to anger instead of calling them bipolar. You can just describe the abuse someone did to you instead of labeling it as a disorder. You shouldn't use disorder as an insult. You should know that a lack of empathy doesn't mean a lack of humanity or goodness, you can still learn what is alright and not alright and act on it. You should maybe stops and realize you are vilainizing people, people who could be victims as much as they could be 'the villains'. Those are people. Stop arm chair diagnosing your abuser or anyone you think is unnice with very serious disorders you are making those out as "evil disorder". A disorder doesn't equal abuse and it's very dangerous to promote it that way. A disorder doesn't fully define everyone and that applies to every one of them.

[phoenix-fallen]

I'm not even friends with her anymore, I don’t know why the blocking thing still gets under my skin so much, but it really does. Blocking people for actual harm, boundaries, or safety reasons makes sense. blocking people because they exist too close to a narrative you don’t like is just… weird to me. there’s something deeply annoying about watching someone just block anyone and everyone for such petty and childish reasons as she does.

Such little thought goes into it. no context, no reading, no checking who someone actually is or what they’ve done. it’s just instant based on proximity. interacted with the wrong person? blocked. bought the wrong design? blocked. know someone she doesn’t like? blocked. has never interacted with but owns a design from someone she doesn't like? also blocked. bought a design she wanted? blocked. it’s like guilt by association on autopilot, and it makes everything feel childish and unserious.

And she never evens actually reads any of it. She be being perfectly sweet to someone on one account while blocking them on another without realizing it’s the same person because she didn't read yhe profiles, she just saw they spoke to someone once and blocked them immediately . At this point it isn’t “protecting peace,” it’s proof that none of this is grounded or thought out. It's all about block the idea, block the reminder, block anything that might poke holes in the story.

I think what annoys me is that it turns a shared creative space into a minefield of invisible rules no one else agreed to. people aren’t doing anything wrong, but they’re still getting punished for not aligning with someone else’s unresolved baggage. and then it gets dressed up as boundaries, when really it’s avoidance mixed with control. She's blocking people over shit from 7 years ago. She's blocking people for interacting with someone she stopped being friends with 7 years ago. Someone that was 13 when they met. She is now 24 and still going after someone who is now an adult over their actions as a child.

it’s hard not to roll your eyes at it after a while. because at some point, if you’re blocking strangers for liking things you don’t approve of or for having a single interaction with someone you haven't associated with in years because of a mistake they made at 13, the problem isn’t the strangers. it’s the fact that you’re still fighting ghosts from years ago and dragging everyone else into it.

I'm just tired of it. It's just one more thing she does that makes no sense and is just her clinging onto the past the same way she clings on to her narrative of being the victim.

[npd-confessions]

it's getting so so so so tiring faking care. i don't care anymore. i'm supposed to worry about my irls, they're mentally ill, one is deprecating himself on a daily basis, one harms herself in public when she gets bored, but what am i supposed to do? i can't be friendless in a place like this. it's pathetic to admit this, but they're the only ones willing to stay around me. plus, they'd at least buy me lunch. i should be grateful, i guess, but i feel nothing. whatever, man. i won't try to deal with things i don't have the energy to deal with. but it's tiring.

.

[sodapillz]

I like how ppl automatically assume you’re a robot with zero feelings and emotions when they find out you have ASPD.

I’ve had someone ask me if I find things funny and if I’m capable of genuine laughter.

Yes… are you gonna ask me if I breathe air too?

[randomfriendlyloser]

look I don't care if people hate my guts AS LONG as they don't get in my way or create random drama that I definitely do not want to be a part of, these attention seeking parasites are always the ones that cling to me, spread rumors and end up ruining my reputation with others