Only In Pieces

Here I am. What's left behind, I am all that remains.

[piecesofmyself]

Here again

Living life in a cycle . I think I'm gonna tattoo X is on my thumbs to remind me to shut up. Maybe that'll break the cycle

[piecesofmyself]

So why are you with me?

Am I crazy? Is it me? Are my feelings from my imagination?

[piecesofmyself]

I’m living my life on repeat.

Scrolling thru my posts and it’s the same misery

[piecesofmyself]

I’ve never felt this alone in a relationship….

Am I crazy? I’m not imagining anything. I don’t feel unreasonable or disproportionately reactive. I’m actually almost feeling nothing. I can’t confidently say he’s not out gambling with another woman. He might be. What I think won’t change anything besides make things worse. I am sad. Hurt too. I’m done with the conversation.

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[modernshxmxn]

“Getting unstuck is a matter of choice. If you want to flourish in life, make a choice today to move into that reality. You can do it.”

— Sereda Aleta Dailey (via childrenofthetao)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Do yourself a favor and learn how to walk away. When a connection starts to fade, Learn how to let it go. When a person starts to mistreat you, learn how to move on.. to something and someone better. Don’t waste your energy trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.. Because the truth is.. for every one person who doesn’t value you - there are tons more waiting to love you better. Do better.”

— Reyna Biddy

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.”

— Alan Cohen

[societyisfxke-deactivated202102]

[piecesofmyself]

Sigh.... whatever

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[piecesofmyself]

3:34am

‘Stay calm”

I’m not sure when I stopped waiting until after the initial surge of emotion to speak about what I was feeling and why. I hate not being taken seriously and one of the easiest things for people to dismiss is an emotional woman.

[undo-my-scars]

Xx

[undo-my-scars]

xx

[piecesofmyself]

6:22pm 02/08/21

Wrong and stupid is the message. Opposite than what I believed. Of course.

[piecesofmyself]

It’s now 3:46pm and I’m doing ok. I was feeling really good about that until 10 mins ago. I was, in essence, alone up till then because I was the only one awake. It’s much easier not to do something wrong or be the cause of arguments when I’m alone. Now I can feel the neuroticism growing. I just want to do good. I keep fucking things up and if I don’t learn how not to do that fast, I’ll end up alone. Honestly, I’m not scared of being alone, it’s him that means so much to me. I used to be able to be myself and he was good with that. He accepted me and actually made me feel like I mattered as a person and not just someone to fuck. I fucked that up by getting in my feelings and being stupid about them. Now I’ve done so much damage that I don’t know if I can ever fix it. He’s tired of me, I get it. I’m tired of me too.