( when you've been fighting for it all your life )

he's got a lion in his heart and a fire in his soul.

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶.

she wants to AGREE with him, wants to say all the things she’s said a thousand times over. they’re STUPID. they’re WRONG. they’re BAD. but she’s so tired of having everything driven into her head, everyone constantly mad at her or annoyed with her ;; she’s tired of being abandoned and locked up. “ what if they’re right? ” her voice threatens to shake and she pulls her knees up to her chest. “ what if HOME was bad? ”

“ i know. ” and freya really does. she knows that he’d do anything for her and the thought TERRIFIES her, especially when it comes to the fear she just voiced. what happens if she’s wrong? what happens if he does something WRONG for her? “ i’m…not safe. no one is, but here i’m…there’s no one else in here. out there, they can hurt you. i want to be with you. i don’t like being ALONE. ”

      his heart stops. home... bad? that just doesn’t make sense. home was SCARY, yeah, but without home he wouldn’t have met freya. home couldn’t be BAD, or freya would be bad. and she’s not BAD. “ they’re w-wrong. you’re h-home, and y-you’re not BAD, ” pierce insists, mimicking her own stance from the other side of the door. 

     his eyes flicker around in the darkness, as if trying to remember her features as he does so, a sigh escaping his lips as he taps his fingers on the floor. he listens to her ;; her words like a HOLY SERMON to him, as he hangs on to each and every word. “ i want to be with y-you too, ” he mumbles under his breath. (( if anyone hears him, they’ll be killed. they won’t, but it feels like they will. )) “ i won’t l-leave you. ever. u-unless you send me a-away. ”

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶.

“if i’m not BAD, why am i here?” she doesn’t want to believe what they say about her, but they’re so ANGRY all the time and it’s not something she knows what to do with. back home, when she fought, she earned approval. now? even when she tries her best, she gets the attention of the WORST of the staff.

her fingers curl against the bottom of the door, raw and red from trying to get out. ( she doesn’t know the word for it, but her CLAUSTROPHOBIA makes her stomach twist into knots the longer she stays in the room. ) the offer makes her shake her head before she remembers he can’t see her. “no. i don’t want you in TROUBLE. i want you…safe.”

     “ because t-they’re STUPID, ” pierce is quick to interject, wanting to say something to make her feel better. it’s what he knows, he knows that they don’t get them, they never will. so it’s only natural for him to say this. 

     “ i’d get in trouble for you, ” pierce says firmly, barely tripping over his words as he says this, nails dragging lightly on the other end of the door. he wants her out. he doesn’t KNOW, but his heart hurts at the thought of him not being able to see her. (( YOU MISS HER, PIERCE )) “ i want y-you safe, b-but... i can’t keep y-you safe if you’re i-in there, ” he whispers into the door.

[lordchainsaw-deactivated2022041]

#she’s so frustrated with the fact that she likes him so much#stiles looks so smug about it

[freyadoe-blog]

@piercestevens

[piercestevens]

@freyadoe from here.

     the hallway is DARK, save for a windows that brings in the moonlight to the hallway, his back leaned against the door of the --- well, the room. he’s never been in there, but his THERAPIST warned him not to screw up, or else he’d be in there. but instead it was freya. and he would give ANYTHING to trade places with her. 

     he rests his head against the door.

      “ y-you’re not BAD, ” he whispers into the door, insistently and quietly. “ t-they’re just dumb. y-you did a good job. ” a pause. “ d-do you want me... to go to them? “ he asks, tilting his head to the side as he looked out the high window, his tone oddly innocent for what he’s insinuating. 

[piercestevens]

[isolation] freya → pierce

Freya: "You shouldn't. They'll be mad. They're always mad here." A brief pause. "I don't want you to leave."

Pierce: There's silence for a few moments, but he hasn't left. Sounds of small taps on the floor from his fingers on the wall, dragging, tapping, listlessly doing this. "O-Okay. I won't." A brief pause from him. "W-Why... did they lock you up?"

[piercestevens]

[isolation] freya → pierce

Freya: "Who is it? I can hear you. You walk more quiet than the other people, but I can still hear you."

Pierce: "...P-Pierce. Sorry, I-I can leave, if you want me to. I-I'm not supposed to be h-here, I think."

[piercestevens]

to kill a monster is easy. no. the devil appears as the one you love most.

@freyadoe

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶.

freya doesn’t want to be ALONE. she’s so tired of alone, so tired of fighting and so tired of being surrounded by death and fear and pain. but she can’t admit, not even to pierce. to say it out loud would be to say that she’s WEAK, that she’s filled with cracks and holes and things she can’t fix. “no, no, no…” the word repeats like a quiet mantra, like a desperate, frustrated promise. “i can’t do that. i can’t leave you.” how horrible is the way her stomach twists when she says that out loud, GUILT and FEAR hitting her like a freight train. “my dad left. my mom left. the family they gave me didn’t want me. the council didn’t want me. you said it earlier. you said you wanted me and you want me and that’s…that. even if he wants me, you wanted me FIRST. you’re the only one in sixteen years.”

      and it’s SCARY to see her like this ;; so BROKEN. he did this. he did this to HER, and he knows it. he can feel it in his bones, the way everyone would speak to him about her. he doesn’t know it explicitly but it’s the sinking feeling in his gut that lets him know. “ yes you can. ” BUT HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. he’s trying to let her know it’s OKAY to leave him. he’ll understand, he’s growing ( that’s what his therapists tell him, anyways ). “ i’ll a-always w-want you, freya, ” he says FIRMLY. there’s always one constant. her. it always will be her. ( even if she doesn’t know it. ) this seems to be the constant: the constant CONTRADICTION he is ;; logic and feelings. he knows. somehow, he always does.

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶.

it’s some kind of RELIEF to have him there with her, the fact that even if they weren’t what they were, there’s another that understands the life she’s lived. as much as therapists and fake families claim to UNDERSTAND what she’s seen and what she’s done, they don’t. not really, not in the way that matters to her. “that’s why we stay together. we’re STRONGER.” it’s a foreign concept, but it’s always been true. if they hadn’t had each other, they likely wouldn’t be ALIVE. “i can!!” her voice is sharp but heavy with stubbornness, not anger. “you’re…part of me. if he wants me, he gets you too. if he won’t take you, then i won’t let him take me.” she bites her bottom lip hard to keep it from trembling. “together or not at all.”

      he nods vehemently. they stayed alive together ;; watched each each other’s backs. that’s the only reason they were alive today. (( but something still tickles him, at the back of his mind. what those people said. what he was DOING to her ;; no, freya would ALWAYS be strong, right?? )) “ f-freya... ” there’s a sharp INHALE from him. “ i can’t... i-i can’t ... ” this is what they meant pierce. you’re going to be the death of her. and you know it. “ i-it’s OKAY. j-just ‘cause h-he wants you d-doesn’t mean he wants m-me. ” he’s fiddling with his hands, nails running lightly over his scarred fingers, not looking at freya. “ u-uhm ... you’ll always h-have me. even i-if he doesn’t want m-me. s-so it’s okay to g-go with him, or s-something, i guess... ”

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶.

she returns the smile, careful and gentle and SPECIAL like him. what they have is something that neither of them understands, even if it might have been obvious to anyone LUCKY enough to see into their private little world. when he says together, part of her wants to reach down and take his hand, but it’s too much and she’s still too filled with PARANOIA to allow herself that softness. “good. we’re better together. i’m…happy when i have you.” happy was a scary thing for kids like them, children afraid of their own hearts. “i don’t know what i want. i want…i don’t know. if he wants me, i’ll tell him he has to take you too. i won’t leave you, no matter what.”

       and it makes his HEART warm and makes him feel safe. it seems like a COMMON occurrence --- freya and safety. warmth. kindness. home. (( what a shame, he thinks, that not everyone can see what he can )) “ we a-are. ” it’s not a question, but a confirmation. they are better together, even if he doesn’t want them to BE. YOU’LL GET HER KILLED, PIERCE. a frown tugs at his lips, but he doesn’t let that stop his small smile that he has on her lips. “ m-me too!! my chest ... “ he doesn’t say anything more, but looks to his chest that is covered with his sweatshirt. “ f-freya, you can’t d-do that. he doesn’t w-want me, he... w-wants you. ” a pause. “ i-its okay t-to leave me, i-if you w-w-want. ” EVEN THOUGH IT IS SO CLEARLY NOT OKAY. 

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶:

the years before pierce was brought to their home were LONELY, but she was younger then and she doesn’t remember them well. now that he’s a part of her life – and she knows what it feels like WITHOUT him – she doesn’t want to lose him. “good. we’ll be here together.” it’s not like her to be so open with her need, but things have been hard and she’s SCARED. frustration shows on her face, but it’s at herself more than anything. “you’re…you. i mean you’re SPECIAL. you’re not like family and you’re not like other people. you’re not like anyone else and i don’t know the words but you’re…you,” she tries to explain, brows furrowing. “you have me.” until every last star in the sky went away, he had her. “i don’t know. what if he wants to be my dad?? like a real family with a real home. what if he wants me??”

        he gives her a soft smile ;; that soft smile he used to give her back home. when it was just the two of them. (( the kind that was all too soft, for back home. that would be torn up on the spot if anyone else saw it. it’s saved only for FREYA ;; even if neither of them know it. )) “ t-together, ” he says, confirming her statement. her words are being spoken but it doesn’t make sense until the last phrase. “ okay. y-you always have me, okay? “ another smile. “ do y-you want him to be your d-dad? “

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶:

“no!” she says it quick and almost FEARFUL, though she’d never admit it. it’s not the death that scares her; it’s the consequences. “if you kill them, they’ll take you away. i don’t want them to take you again.” being ALONE didn’t scare her, but being without pierce?? it’s the worst thing she could imagine. “i don’t think you’re family. family is bad and dead and gone. you’re not those things. you’re…you.” she doesn’t have the words to explain what he means to her, but she TRIES. “maybe i…want family.” the admission tastes sour on her tongue and she doesn’t know what to do with it. “he says he tried to find me. he wanted me. people don’t…want me, but he says he did. does.”

      “ okay, ” he says SIMPLY ;; although still taken aback by his friend’s reaction. he can’t remember how many times he’s seen her like that. “ okay. i-i won’t leave you, t-then!! “ pierce says CONFIDENTLY, nodding once. “ i-i’m.. me? “ he cocks his head to the side ;; unsure of what she’s trying to say. “ w-what does that mean? “ pierce asks, confusion on his features, before his frown deepens. “ i want you, ” he insists, his brows furrowing once more. “ w-what’s he g-gonna do? “

[piercestevens]

𝒶𝓉𝓁𝒶𝓈:

“y-you won’t d-die.” atlas doesn’t quite understand the other’s reasoning. “d-don’t you d-do nice things f-for y-your f-friends?”

          “ friends? “ he asks ever so confusedly. “ i mean, i KILL for freya. t-that’s i-it though. ”

[piercestevens]

𝒿𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈:

“Not. To me.” Her eyes are glued to his shoes, the ground, anything below eye level. “No. You don’t have to do that. It’s really. Fine.” She quickly glanced up at his face, taking in the bone structure. “You’re very nice.”

       “ oh. okay, ” he says softly. he doesn’t know what ELSE to say, he’s never been good at comforting people. “ i-i’m.... nice? “ he furrows his brow ever so SLIGHTLY ;; cocking his head to the side. “ i-i don’t get it. how. ”

[piercestevens]

𝓁𝑒𝓍:

lex falters, eyes darting between the cookies and him. “n-no they a-aren’t!” she tries to assure him. “i-i p-promise they a-aren’t. i-i’ll even e-eat one to p-prove it.”

     “ b-but then you’ll die, ” pierce says EASILY, his brows furrowing. “ w-why would you do that?? “

[piercestevens]

𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓎𝒶:

“they did take it. they took it and gave it to a STUPID girl.” she wants to warn him not to FIGHT because she’s SCARED that they’ll take his food too, but it’s not in either of their natures to understand restraint. he will fight just like she will fight ;; it’s who they’ll always be. “he’s not family. i don’t have family, even if he is my dad. family doesn’t LEAVE.” pierce is all she has, the only thing she wants to keep in the world. “no, no. i don’t know what to do with him. he’s…AWFUL but he’s…what if he’s not lying??”

       “ i’ll KILL her a-and the s-staff. j-just say the w-word. ” he’s drop dead SERIOUS ;; it’s not hard to say that to her. he’s said it before and he’ll say it again. “ h-he’s not family. i’m family, ” pierce insists without realizing (( you don’t LOVE her like family. admit it. )). “ h-he doesn’t have to be family. u-uhm... i learned this b-but... just ‘cause h-he has blood with y-you. f-family doesn’t leave you. i-if you s-say he’s not FAMILY, he’s not. ”

[piercestevens]

felixmatua:

“some battles aren’t worth having, alright??” felix said, voice gentle as he kept his arms tight but not PAINFUL around the younger boy. “just let it go. take a deep breath and MOVE ON.”

      his struggling and resisting CEASES after a few mere minutes ;; he’s tired himself out. “ b-but... ” he wants to object, but he can’t. the other sounds so KIND, too kind. it’s nice. (( don’t get soft, now, pierce. )) “ i-i can’t, ” he insists, “ i need... i need to win. ”