my mind's like a deadly disease

piers dolohov. sixth year. slytherin. — i know my soul is freezing. hell's hot for a good reason.

[lydiachang]

Sounds like you’re having a particularly good day, Piers.

[piersdolohov]

It’s just you. You inspire what’s best in me.

[becclawtheraven]

I’m…sorry? Is everything all right, Piers? You seem particularly grumpy today.

[piersdolohov]

Not really, no. Just felt like exercising it.

[piersdolohov]

Your mouth is open. Sound is coming from it. That’s never good.

[babsxkean]

There are some kids around here so thick it actually breaks my heart. It causes me physical pain. Okay, listen, let me break it down for you if you’re confused – Orion is a constellation, meaning a group of stars that form a clear pattern. It is not a spell to summon someone named ‘Ryan’. Merlin’s beard.

[piersdolohov]

Remember how Hogwarts was supposed to pick the best young wizard minds? I’m guessing it didn’t work. Because thinking these are the best young wizard minds depresses me to no end. I wouldn’t be able to go on.

[julesthe-canary-deactivated2016]

I don’t figure the professors would look too kindly on something like that. And as much as I’m not in love with being a TA, kinda need the job for now. 

[piersdolohov]

Oh, well, a boy can dream. Or have a secret stash of fire whiskey. Both work.

[piersdolohov]

@slytherflint​:

…. We’ve literally been in the same house together for five years, dumbass. 

And yet you manage to go completely unnoticed by me. I’m loving your work.

[badgerdom-deactivated20201209]

Who the hell do you think you are, kid? If you’d like a nice, hot steaming cup of shut the fuck up, go ahead and swing some more of that bullshit my way. I dare you.

[piersdolohov]

I’m sorry, is this your best Professor Stark impression? Might work on that a bit more. But I appreciate the effort. It would be much more intimidating if you weren’t a Hufflepuff.

[cassiedursley-deactivated201704]

Then why care enough to make a comment on it?

[piersdolohov]

You were whining, I was done. Thought you should hear about this.

[piersdolohov]

What's your favorite spell or potion?

Baruffio’s Brain Elixir. I wouldn’t really appreciate being a Ravenclaw, though.

[piersdolohov]

Duchess Clara 2k24

This one I know. No politics in my inbox. Out, now.

[piersdolohov]

Let's start a fire! Flint for Duchess 2k24!

Who is Flint?

[piersdolohov]

Can I see your nip nops?

No, but you can see my fist. It’s in your face.

[tinytimbuchanan-deactivated2016]

Do you guys think that hedgehogs are allowed as pets? Or otherwise think that I could smuggle in a hedgehog? I really love hedgehogs, knitting them just isn’t cutting it anymore.

[piersdolohov]

You knit... Hedgehogs? You might want to see a doctor about obsession. I’m just saying.

[cassiedursley-deactivated201704]

I think today has just been a really big off day. I tried to do some drawing and I just couldn’t get in the mood. I tried to watch some Netflix but I couldn’t find anything I really wanted to watch. I tried doing some reading and ended up getting a headache. I just feel…off. I know I can’t be the only one who has days where they want to curl up in bed and just lay there and cry. I think I might be going insane. 

[piersdolohov]

Well, and I tried to give a shit about this rant, but I just couldn’t bother.

[julesthe-canary-deactivated2016]

All this campaigning and shit. Makes me wanna drink more than my usual Saturday night. You kids sure have gotten competitive. Cheers to the weekend though. 

[piersdolohov]

Suppose you would mind sharing the drink, innit?

[portiaontheair]

Well, the Valentine’s Day ball is fast approaching! Time flies, huh? Now, I won’t divulge my votes just off the bat, but I will say that if any of you want a strong, beautiful, and perfectly proper Queen, I’d be honored to have you vote for me! But otherwise, I’m just excited to have some actual fun at the ball and may the best Queen win!

[piersdolohov]

This is terrible propaganda. No deal.

[badgerdom-deactivated20201209]

A week-long Grey’s Anatomy marathon probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. I lowkey feel like I’ve wasted my life away but at the same time, I kinda wanna binge-watch another TV show now that I’ve already spiraled out of control. Any suggestions? 

[piersdolohov]

Yes, actually. It starts with “get off the computer” and ends with “find something actually productive to do”. Those are my favorite two. Let me know if you find them entertaining.