PieSaltCoffee

[piesaltcoffee]

Dean: On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?

Sam: I'd say.... arrestable.

[piesaltcoffee]

Dean: If I die again, delete my search history.

Sam: If you die again, I'm posting it.

[piesaltcoffee]

Sam: Why are you carrying a ladder..?

Dean: I'm emotionally preparing for my next bad decision.

[piesaltcoffee]

Cas: Be honest.

Dean: Oh no.

[piesaltcoffee]

Dean: Cas and I are dating!

Sam: Yeah, I know.

Dean: How? I only asked him yesterday.

Sam: What the fuck were you doing before that then?

[piesaltcoffee]

Dean: Cas, you love me right?

Cas: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I don't like.

[piesaltcoffee]

Cas: I don't think anyone will ever be truly in love with me.

Dean: Are you sure?

Cas: Yes.

Dean, aggressively pointing at himself: Are you fucking sure?!

[piesaltcoffee]

Sam: So, when are we going to tell him?

Dean: Just give him a minute.

Cas: *Pulling a door that clearly says push*

[piesaltcoffee]

Dean, storms into the hotel room: Ok, which one of you idiots put a curse doughnut in the fridge??

Sam: What??

Dean: I took ONE bite and suddenly I could hear the thoughts of every squirrel in a 10 mile radius.

Cas: I thought you liked doughnuts.

Dean: Not when they tell me my "Aura is mediocre" Cas!!

[piesaltcoffee]

Sam: Why are you soaking wet??

Dean: I tried to summon a minor water spirit.

Sam: And?

Dean: Turns out it was actually a VERY major water spirit.

Castiel, dripping: It threw him into the river.

Dean: You let it!!

Cas: You told me to "let you handle it"

Dean: I LIED!!

[piesaltcoffee]

Crowley: I am the King of Hell. Fear me.

Jack: Do you want a Capri sun?

Crowley: ....

Crowley, sighing: Tangerine, if you have it.

[piesaltcoffee]

Sam: The next person who says "It can't get any worse" is responsible for whatever happens next.

Dean: It can't get any worse.

Sam: DEAN!

*Ceiling collapses*

Dean: ....

Dean: Ok, my bad.

[piesaltcoffee]

Gabriel: I came because I sensed a disturbance in the force.

Sam: Uh, wh-

Dean: No, keep going. This is the most helpful he's ever been.

[piesaltcoffee]

Rowena: I brought snacks!

Sam: Great!

Dean: Wait, are they cursed snacks?

Rowena, offended gasp: How dare you??

Sam: ....

Dean: ....

Rowena: ....

Rowena: Only the nachos..

[piesaltcoffee]

Bobby: I leave for two hours and y'all summon another ancient god?!

Sam: He followed us home. We didn't summon him.

Dean: He likes cheeseburgers.

Ancient god: I like cheeseburgers.

[piesaltcoffee]

Sam: "This place is ancient, dangerous, and full of traps."

Dean: "Cool. Love that for us."

[piesaltcoffee]

Sam: "Dean, think before you act."

Dean: "I did think."

Sam: "And?"

Dean: "I thought, "this is a terrible idea", and then I did it anyway."