sweevibop

sometimes i do things

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

guysssss park gunwookkkkkkkkk he is ruining my life I love him an he's so boy so skrunkle so little boy so amazing I love him so much

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #8218

  Orange creamsicle popsicles. – Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

when you raise your voice at me and say you're upset how am I supposed t to take that as anything but you're upset with me and I should just lie about taking my meds next time because now I know if I'm honest I get fucking yelled at! You're an awful parent and you don't even fucking know it. I wish you were never my mother and i wish I was never born into this fucking family you're an asshole and fucking traumatizing. Just yesterday my therapist told you I just want people to tell me they love and support me and here you fucking to yelling at me and blaming me for not getting better because I have to exercise and take my meds and go to counseling when I'm the only fucking person in this family that goes to counseling and I exercise way fucking more than you do so why don't you shut the fuck up and leave me alone!!!!!!! it's fucking unbelievable how awful one person can make me feel. I have been wanting to reach out to you for days and been unable to because I feel like I'm a burden to you or waking you up just to talk about my shitty life would just make you upset and y'know what I don't want to talk to you again ever!!!! When a child says they want to go hide in a hole and die that is fucking suicide ideation!!!!!! And the best fucking thing you can come up with is well you can't do that yeah fucking duh I can't do that but if I said I want to swallow a kitchen knife and stick needles through my arm fat and stab myself with a stick would you take me more seriously??? If I said I was going to starve myself until I dropped dead would you take me more seriously or do I have to do it for you to give a shit? You always get so upset whenever I mention suicide but ylreally you don't give a shit unless I'm actually going to do it. You don't give a shit that your child wants to die and wants to stop existing as long as the child doesn't actually die. You're better than my dad at these things but Jesus fucking christ you're still awful.

Not a single fucking bone in my body wants to take those meds anymore, knowing I'd be doing it not because I think they're going to help me but because I know I'm gonna get fucking traumatized if I don't.

You should've never fucking had children. You never wanted to raise a child did you? You just wanted a child that you could mold into your perfect persona and be proud of but now that I don't fit that perfect poster child image anymore it really feels like you give less and less shits about me.

Right now I want to swallow blades and scratch my arms so hard you notice the marks. I wish you'd see them and know you fucking did that and that if you guys hadn't been such shit parents and if you guys just chose not to get pregnant none of us would fucking be here

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

having a day where I want to bash my head into a wall and simply cease to exist because this is awful this life is awful i fucking hate it here

[sadandsmilling]

One of the worst parts of self harm and suicidal ideation is when you’re sitting next to someone you love so much and all you can think about is how badly you want things to end.

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

I feel like I'm being backed into a corner to make decisions I don't want to. I feel so unsafe just being in the same room as you let alone being alone with you. I hate you so much and you don't even fucking know it. I wish you weren't my father. I wish I'd never met you.

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

resisting the urge to eat half cooked pork in the hopes I get food poisoning and get to avoid homebound

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

feeling that feeling where I want to rip my limbs off and punch a hole through a wall and stick a needle through my arm fat because every tiny thing sets me off and the people I am supposed to trust and are supposed to take care of me have failed me and they don't even fucking know it

[furiousgoldfish]

being shut down as a child and told that what you want doesn’t matter 

feeling like your words don’t hold any weight and that you have no influence on anything that happens to you

still feeling when you get hurt it’s your fault, because everyone agrees that it is

feeling like nobody will ever want to listen to anything you have to say

feeling like anything you say can’t possibly be important or of any value

feeling like anything you do has no worth or significance simply because it’s you who did it

feeling screaming inside from injustice but knowing you can’t do anything about it

feeling unbearably anxious and angry and helpless you end up harming yourself

feeling guilty for harming yourself

feeling helpless to change anything

feeling like you’re not important enough for your pain to matter

feeling like you probably wont live for long anyway

feeling like you’re disposable, and your life is disposable

feeling like there’s no meaning to life like this

feeling like there’s no way out

feeling like any expression of your pain is attention seeking, selfish, manipulative, abusive, wrong, and like you’ll get shut down and punished for it

because you always were shut down and punished for it

but it’s still nobody’s fault because “you’re not expressing how bad you are so nobody can help you”

feeling like nobody could help you even if they knew

feeling like your pain is a burden

feeling inner frustration so unbearable you want to explode

feeling scared of yourself and what you might do

feeling like you’re a monster even if you can’t figure out just what did you do to become one

all of these are signs of experiencing severe child abuse.

if you felt this, you were abused.

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

FUCK

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

venting cause fuck it

its getting worse i can fucking feel it

my hygeine has always been terrible but its been worse this past week. i feel disgusted with myself. i know this is bad, i know i should try to get better, but i think im just so used to running away from my problems that i dont know how to actually face them anymore

im pretty sure my mom knows about the restrictive side of my ed but seems to think my binging is just me eating well

i dont want to fucking talk to my dad about anything ever, hes just, ugh, i dont want to deal with him

i wish i could recover, but it just feels right to be sick

ive started seeing doctors and therapist appointments as some kind of punishment, its not medical anymore i just see it as somewhere i have to admit its not getting better and i feel awful

[poorlydrawnmcyt]

I WAS HERE

[frauggiethecreature]

reblog if you fully and intentionally are referring to aspec people as well when you use the word queer to refer to the community

[mckitterick]

my partner once said, "if you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're probably queer"

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

@idybiddy bitch you thought you could get a tumblr and i wouldn’t realize

[parasiteking]

hey, since a lot of blogs are sharing advice for new people moving to tumblr, i thought i'd share some stuff i wish i would've known when starting out! 1. Defend your Clan, even with your life. You may have friendships with cats from other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your Clan. 2. Do not hunt or trespass on another Clan's territory. 3. Elders, Queens, and kits must be fed before apprentices and warriors. Unless they have permission, apprentices may not eat until they have hunted to feed the elders. If any warrior or apprentice is sick, they may eat while the elders, queens, and kits are eating. 4. Prey is killed only to be eaten. Give thanks to StarClan for its life. 5. A kit must be at least six moons old to become an apprentice. 6. Newly appointed warriors will keep a silent vigil for one night after receiving their warrior name. 7. A cat cannot be made deputy without having mentored at least one apprentice. 8. The deputy will become Clan leader when the leader dies or retires. 9. After the death or retirement of the deputy, the new deputy must be chosen before moonhigh. 10. A Gathering of all four Clans is held at the full moon during a truce that lasts for the night. There shall be no fighting among Clans at this time. 11. Boundaries must be checked and marked daily. Challenge all trespassing cats. 12. No warrior can neglect a kit in pain or danger, even if the kit is from a different Clan. 13. The word of the Clan leader is law. 14. An honorable warrior does not need to kill other cats to win his/her battles, unless they are outside the warrior code or it is necessary for self-defense. 15. A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet. 16. Each Clan has the right to be proud and independent, but in times of trouble they must forget their boundaries and fight side by side to protect the four. Each Clan must help the others so that no Clan will fall.

[prideknights]

Moms for Liberty cry when ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill gets turned against heterosexual parents

The American conservative “advocates for parental rights in schools” known as Moms for Liberty have been busy working on making sure your children are protected from things like critical race theory (CRT), and any talk about gender identities (and...

[depression-took-over-my-liiife]

[awek-s-archived]

dismissing heteronormativity is choi yoojung’s actual number one goal in life

[pigeonchildlikesprocrastinating]

YOOJUNG I LOVE YOU