smile.

I'm gonna change the world.

[soberscientistlife]

[butchfagminotaur]

saying “i wouldn’t be a good parent” is a morally neutral statement and i’m sick of whenever i say it people replying “noo no you’d be a GREAT mother i know you would!!!” like… no! being a good parent requires a certain set of skills and traits and i know that i don’t have them and that’s a good thing!!! i think people should figure out if they would be good parents BEFORE having kids and maybe we’d have less shitty parents in the world! fuck!

[pineapples8264]

I wanna shrink my body down, climb into your hooha, have a seizure on your g spot until you squirt me out liks the magic school bus.

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[unfollowryanross-blog]

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

[pineapples8264]

I get nervous meeting new people. For example

Noah: "Hi my name is Noah? And you?"

Me (Zoe): Hi Noah! My name is NOAH.

[masochistrights]

dom who sticks their fingers down your throat, asks you a question, and laughs when you try to answer

[astral-logistics-assn]

Yes, yes, the dentist.  We’ve all been there.

[adurot]

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

[adurot]

I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.

[adurot]

But wait, there’s more!

[elvensilk]

but you know what IS a goat? a musk ox

[whalesharkpasta]

WHAT

[pineapples8264]

I want my wife to have a Tumblr account so I can easily share all these great posts with her BUT I don't want her to see all my depressy posts.

[classycookiexo]

[an-eccentric-devil]

I think more people need to learn the phrase "I don't know enough about that to have a strong opinion" its literally a cheat code for awkward conversations

[an-eccentric-devil]

its ok if you actually do know a lot about the thing and/or have strong opinions about it btw. you can just lie

[pineapples8264]

I was literally a political science major and will play dumb to get out of inevitable fights. Some of them just aren't worth it

[pineapples8264]

Since I was 8 I wanted to die on my 27th birthday. Enough time to live and accomplish everything, but not long enough to see everyone I love die. I recently read that the lifespan of BPD is 27 and idk about you but it feels like a sign.

[blennie]

and you can’t blame me for saying some odd shit bc i haven’t become accustomed to mimicking your speech patterns yet. that’s not my problem

[catchymemes]

[memewhore]

[pandawak]

[notgreengardens]

@thefebruaryfriday

[pineapples8264]

Is it my personality OR my personality disorder. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[whitepeopletwitter]

[uhh-im-not-me]

it gets better

[pineapples8264]

I say one wrong word, and suddenly I spiral. I imagine the worst-case scenario and begin replaying every mistake I've ever made....worried they're all piling up, and everyone will get tired of me and cut me out of their life. I don't know how to make it stop either.