Pinecone Poetry

Please check your good sense at the door, and be prepared for feels. I changed my avatar to match my other blog. The background and avatar are my original artwork.

[pineconepoetry]

I have a tiktok. I usually post videos of tea, but I felt moved to write a poem and use it as a voice over for a video I did.

Turning Pages (April 9th, 2022)

[pineconepoetry]

TwentyTwenty To- (4/20/21)

This feeling inside

It's like screeching metal

As though my brain's being spooned out

Like fancy jell-o

And my heart is being squeezed

Like a doll in a clamp

The stars are halting

Traffic is stopping

We keep calm and carry on

It's all we can do

Our heads held high and covered up

And for a moment, there is calm

The lights are dazzling again

Laughter rings, our hearts all sing

It's the pleasure we take in the little things

That have kept us going

Lest we stop for even a moment

The screeching metal

The heart clamp

Suffocation bile mucus death no taste no light nonononononononononono

[pineconepoetry]

Right? Alright (April 24, 2020)

It is my lawful right to die

This is all fake

All this fuss is a stupid mistake

It is my god-given right to die

Because it would be worse

To fail to the great machine of commerce

It is my protected right to die

And if other people get sick

Well, it's just a media trick

It's my constitutional right to die

Choking and gasping for air

Reaching out for loved ones who cannot be there

It was my right

[theearlgreyghost]

JJS (June 6, 2020)

Unpredictable as the sea

Sweetness twinged with salt

As steadfast as a tree

His praises I do exalt

A crinkled hazel gaze

As he towers above

A mischevious, sweet smile

In essence, my Beloved

[pineconepoetry]

For the one I love. Originally posted on my other blog.

[pineconepoetry]

Falling Eagle (July 28th, 2019)

I don't cry for who you are

I cry for who you used to be

Snarky jokes and Peanuts comics

Unshakeable convictions and sturdy hands

The sands of time steal my memories

Just as the sands of the middle east took your sanity

When I look at photos of you at my age- no, younger-

I see that your smile is preserved in my brothers

(For they look so much like you did)

They also have your easy manner, and smooth voice

(For they are so much like you used to be)

For them, I stay neutral

For them, I pepper in

Bits of our heritage, as you often did

Did you know?

You name means "Falling Eagle;" it was the name of the last emperor

It can be interpreted as either an eagle striking it's prey

Or an eagle struck out of the sky

I don't believe in fate, but the irony remains fresh in my mind

As fresh as the day that you chose bitterness over love

And hatred over your children

You knew what that felt like. Why did you do it?

Such questions drove me to anger

I dwelled in it for years; I drank from it like a pool

But I have now spent over half my life without you, and well

You'd be surprised what you can do without

You used to tell me to be proud of my name

Did you know what it means? You were probably just being encouraging

In summation, it is: "Golden Defender"

I do not forgive and I do not forget

Instead, I will defend my heart

I refuse to be struck down by resentment and bitterness, as you were

Life goes on, and so do I

Stay golden, Falling Eagle

I sure as fuck will

[theearlgreyghost]

Mantra (July 16, 2019)

What does it mean to be a girl

It means to grapple with fear-

Clawing and ever present

Year after year

He says yes, you say no

He continues to insist

You run- this isn't a game

But still, he persists

__________

What does it mean to be a woman

It means to live with the fear

Life goes on

Year after year

The shadows might gain a form

They might grow stronger with the night

Some women may live to tell their tale

And some may die at the hands of a masculine blight

________

What does it mean to be a woman

It means to conquer the fear

To banish the shadows as best you can

To hold your head up high

To know your worth, to speak your mind

Darkness will always exist, but still, we must fly

[pineconepoetry]

I accidentally posted this to my regular blog, and I don't have the energy to re-transcribe it on mobile.

I feel like I make a lot of poetry like this. I guess this is just the sort of thing that speaks to me- hope for a better tomorrow, despite whatever has you down today.

[pineconepoetry]

On Protesters (5-19)

There were guns in their faces

Glass at their feet, and the air was thick with gas

Still they persevered

The state and oppressors screamed and attacked

But they refused to back down

They are lions in human form-

And you will hear them roar

[pineconepoetry]

Chase Dreams (4-16-19)

It's been years

I still wonder, sometimes

What would have happened if I trusted someone

Would I have unburdened myself

Would I have spilled my guts?

Would I feel less fragile

If I had known that it was alright

To stand my ground, to hold my own

Every time he entered my personal space?

Maybe I would be different

Who's to say

But sometimes-after I wake up from nightmares where he's chasing me-

I wish that time really did heal all wounds.

[pineconepoetry]

Whirlpool (4-6-19)

I mourn my love, who is lost to the sea

They say there are plenty of fish

But there was only one such as she.

Her hair was the color of sea foam,

Her darling laugh, like a seagull's screech!

Her lips as sweet as honeycomb

And her eyes were as blue as I, on this lonely beach.

We met by chance on a moonlit eve

She eyed me curiously, as if to study me

And I remember, as I bereave

That I thought she found me to be a monstrosity.

My opinion of myself was always shoddy

But she adored my eyes of brown, as I loved her blue

Somehow, even, she loved my body

She once said that it sparkled in the sun, with a golden hue.

I'm not sure why I never believed her words

I don't know why I felt that I didn't deserve her love

Or why I needed to tear myself apart into thirds-

I only know that it tore into her like the poison of a foxglove.

And on the day I dreaded the most-

My words and poison, self inflicted

She'd had enough of my riposte

And left- as I had predicted.

I tore at the waves, and began to beseech

But she had gone forever, into the sea

And though I howled, and even still weep

I know that she is free, as I will never be.

I mourn my love, who is lost to the sea

But the hole in my heart?

That was all me.

[pineconepoetry]

Another Dead Ms. (8-28-18)

Women are refused solitude

Though we wish to be

Alone in a glen, or a library

We are harrassed and followed

Jeered at, insulted

(Is it possible to have a man catapulted?)

We have asked to be left alone

We politely plead and angrily shout

We have to be armed whenever we go out

And just when you feel safe

A man will demand a kiss

A new headline appears- another dead Ms.

[pineconepoetry]

Frustrations (5-28-18)

This was a poem I made last year. I ended up transcribing it to a blank page of my sketchbook, and after I used one of my art makers for the lettering, I used my inkbrush for the rest.

Honestly, I still feel like this sometimes. I wrote another poem today that voices similar frustrations. I'm saving it for a future post.

[pineconepoetry]

For my inaugural post

I want to state three things:

I am not a writer, by any stretch of the means. Poetry is a way for me to deal with my headspace

That being said, a lot of my poetry is borne out of my darker moods. I get kinda gloomy every now and again. I'm sorry if that triggers anyone, and yes, I do really mean that.

I appreciate respectful and thoughtful feedback.

Many thanks