Getting ready for a crazy Seidenberg Summer Scholars week of troubleshooting, and cool kids, and people doing questionable things. Just rolling with it. I'm reflecting very much on when I was in their position. I didn't want to go to Pace: some generic private university known for business and theater. But I wanted a piece of NYC's technology scene so badly. I wanted recognition and everything else that would feed my Type-A, anxiety-ridden, fierce existence. And friends. A network of other computer science majors, doing cool things. This school has not brought me exactly what I expected. Because I haven't delivered what I expected. I've fought harder for myself and earned more than I knew that there was to earn. I'm a very prideful person, and I want to keep propelling forward at this rate, so that two years from now, I'm set to take over the world. What this school has taught me more than computer science is business. What makes money, what an idea is worth versus its product, how to make connections, and even what it's like to have to make decisions against your friends' best interests without hurting them. These students we will be mentoring are going into their senior year in high school. I spent all night making brownies for them because I remember what they're about to go through and I feel terrible for them. Really, I was making brownies for myself as I realized all of the things I would have done differently with high school and all of the things I never saw coming. I made a lot of the right decisions and I'm in a much better place now than I imagined myself when I was in their shoes: coming to NYC for the first time... My primary concern that day was getting stuck in the black hole that my mother swore was somewhere on the train tracks somewhere between Union Station and Grand Central. My family and I would certainly lose ourselves forever somewhere between home and Pace. But that didn't happen. We made it to Pace just fine. But we were in the city then and everything was a fresh danger. Walking down the hallway to the room where we were meeting, Dad pointed out bullet holes in the glass walls along the connecting hallway. My parents and I then huddled quietly, while my dad said "You would never choose the city. This is an awful place. Your mother would never let you." I said, "I don't belong here. It will be an interesting week, but I'll want the woods back inside of a few hours. Where would I hike?" and my mom started crying out of fear for me. The first thing I said to Dr. Hill in the room while introducing myself was, "I'm Julie, I'm from the woods. I like being in the woods, and I don't really know what to do with myself here." And he said, "Well we're going to Central Park; it's the same thing." I fervently shook my head and said, "No, it's not." And the New Yorkers argued with me that it certainly was, and I would be fine without nature in my life. Here I am. More of a woods person than ever.
