Totes! @pinkyogurtthings - Tumblr Blog

calderalmighty

boyfriend at the gym yesterday in Toronto

kim-kartrashcan

SHE GON DO IT

iwouldliketobutteryourmuffins

under-a-canyon-moon

Shawn

I’m currently watching Shawn’s Verizon performance and he’s singing In My Blood. I have actively been avoiding watching any tour videos as I want to be able to experience everything for the first time but I gave in and this has really strengthened my admiration for him. Nobody actually knows the story of why I love him so much and why he holds a special place in my heart but I figured I’d write this and share with anyone who actually takes the time to read (which I almost doubt anyone will).

I went to Taylor Swift’s 1989 World Tour 2016 in Detroit, I was 16 and that’s where I first saw Shawn perform. I’ll admit, I wasn’t a fan. It really wasn’t until I heard Stitches so many times on the radio that I became a fan. It was probably later that year and I think it was that New Years that he performed on New Years Rockin Eve (might’ve been the year after I can’t remember). My mom came into the house after partying with my dad and she said, “Nick Jonas was really good on New Years Rockin Eve!” She thought Shawn was Nick Jonas and I didn’t fail to tease her about it. From then on, she’d come home from the grocery store, from anywhere, singing Mercy and she was in love. I came home late one time and I had to text her to unlock the door for me and she ran to open it and ran back yelling, “our boy is on Jimmy Fallon hurry.” For two years we bonded over him, she loved him probably more than I did. Last year, March 2018, my mom passed away from cancer. That was probably the worst time of my life, I have never felt so lost and depressed. The week of her funeral, I was in a musical for my high school. It was my last musical as a senior and as hard as that week was for me, it brought me some sort of relief from the misery I was in. The night of our first show, the day after my mom’s funeral, is when In My Blood was released. I remember sitting in the passenger seat of my best friend’s car and her and I crying the whole time. I almost felt like it was a sign from my mom telling me to not give up, that I was going to get through this, that letting it consume me wasn’t in my blood. She was a fighter and she didn’t raise me to give up on anything, no matter the circumstances. That song means more to me than I thought possible for a song and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. My friend and I listen to the song when we feel helpless or we feel lost and it still brings me that same relief as it did when it first came out.

The last sign related to Shawn was when he announced tour dates. I’m from Detroit and his concert in my city is August 5th, 2019; my mom’s birthday. The tickets came out last summer, I think, and I remember texting my friends abut whether or not I was going to buy them. Finally I just said fuck it, she would want me to go. It’s the perfect way to celebrate her birthday, she wouldn’t hesitate to go to that concert so I’m not either. I hope one day I can tell Shawn that story because honestly, those signs are no coincidence. I feel her with me when I listen to his songs, I feel her dancing around with me in the car or in my bedroom while listening to those songs. I feel like he is somehow a piece of my mom and because of that, he will always hold a special place in my heart.

midnightscherry

I’m so proud of you, Lil boy ♡

books-n-quotes

“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell…”

— Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever (via books-n-quotes)