Shear Genius

Philippa/Pippa/Pippy/Pips I'm a real life metamorphmagus.

[pippapipsqueak]

Oh my goodness! That’s interesting. How long will it take to wash off? I suppose it could be worse, your hands could be a neon red color or somethin’.

Probably a couple’a days. I’ll just scrub really hard at ‘em. But you’re absolutely right. I could’a done dark purple.

[pippapipsqueak]

Ha. I’m quite lovely, thank you, how are you?

I’m doing well, thanks! Except I forgot t’ wear gloves today an’ m’hands are dyed baby blue! I’m jus’ glad I did pastels today.

[pippapipsqueak]

Men are pretty terrible, this is true. However, I quite like mine. He’s pretty alright – sans the loading of the dishwasher issue. With the baby, I’ve asked him to start doing the dishes more anyway.

It’s probably a good thing that you like yours, considerin’ you’re married an’ have a baby. But it’s only fair that he do more chores while you take care o’ the little one.

[pippapipsqueak]

Oh… no. See, I should have said that. That would have made more sense.

Just a bit.

So, how are you, dear?

[pippapipsqueak]

Erm, sorry. I tend to talk to myself when I have a lot to remember.

Oh, no, no, it’s perfectly fine. I thought it was a private conversation an’ you were on a bluetooth or somethin’.

[pippapipsqueak]

He’s not as sweet though. Plus since Will’s a living, breathing human being I have to deal with morning breath and – other things. Plus he’s a pretty ridiculous human being with all of his wants and needs. I’m sure R didn’t complain about the loading of the dishwasher.

Are men ever really as sweet? *chuckles* Well, that’s what happens when you’re actually aware o’ things I s’pose. ‘Stead o’ jus’ wantin’ t’ eat brains. Though there are probably worse problems than your husband not wantin’ t’ load the dishwasher.

[pippapipsqueak]

I made my husband watch that film with me. He denied any resemblance to the main character, R. Severely disappointed in him, really. They could be twins. 

You know... now that you mention it, Will does look a lot like R... You lucky woman you. 

[pippapipsqueak]

I’m jus’ gonna pretend I didn’t hear that...

[pippapipsqueak]

I think I’m going to head down to the bookstore. I could use a few new books. Does anyone have an suggestions?

I highly recommend Warm Bodies. Though I will warn you that the book is very different than the movie.

[pippapipsqueak]

abbytaggart:

“I’ve been addicted to this American TV show…The Bachelorette…if you haven’t watched, I’d recommend it. It’s hard to describe.”

“Oh lord... I tried not to watch it, but I found it online and it’s hard to look away from it.” 

[pippapipsqueak]

“I was thinking that. It makes her look a little possessed,” the girl agreed with a laugh. “I was looking for buttons, but all I could find in my drawers were these huge red ones, which – probably would make her look creepier, or these tiny ones of all sorts of colors. I’ll have to go shopping and fix that up. Oh, but thank you, by the way!”

“Yes, it does make her look a bit possessed. I was just trying to be as polite as possible,” she laughed. “Ooh... yeah, stay away from the red buttons... maybe little brown ones. And you’re welcome.”

[pippapipsqueak]

amsgemini:

“Look at this! Would you believe it? I actually made a doll today! I had a few hours to myself and I thought – well, I don’t know what I thought, actually, but this happened… somehow. I think it kind of looks like me, yeah?”

“Oh my god,” Pippa laughed. “That’s actually super adorable! Though you may want to sew some buttons over her eyes. The x’s are a little bit creepy.”

[pippapipsqueak]

You are a very magnetic person, I’ll give you that–it’s easy to be around you, y’know? Maybe you should work your hairdresser magic on me. I think I’d look dashing with blue stripes, or something. [laughs] I can’t possibly forget, Pippa. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look exactly like the kind of person who likes fruity drinks.

You’re very sweet, Ned. *smiles* Really? Would ya want that? Because if yer bein’ serious, I’ll do it. Just don’t tell me t’ cut it short or you’ll look like a leopard. *laughs* I can’t take that the wrong way ‘cause I know I do. I take no offense. Sweet and strong, but the taste of the alcohol is hidden. That’s the best kind’a drink. 

[pippapipsqueak]

[pippapipsqueak]

Outgoing? That word has literally never in my life been used to describe me, Pippa. I’m awkward, bookish and pretty generally uncomfortable with social interaction. I’m not quite sure why I engaged in such a socially-dependent  profession, but I’m apparently pretty good at it, so I guess I’ll keep on.

No? Damn, I’m usually so good at reading people. *laughs* Yer wonderfully awkward, though. And ya don’t seem uncomfortable t’ me. But maybe that’s just because I tend to draw people in. S’a hairdresser thing, I think. *smiles* You keep on keepin’ on, Ned. An’ don’t forget I like fruity drinks.

[pippapipsqueak]

“Oh, great. Just what I wanted to do today.”

“What’s your story on? If I’m allowed to ask that.”

[pippapipsqueak]

“This is the part where you tell me what it says.”

“Oh! Fuck, sorry. It says: ‘Call back the bitchy source for the mayor story.’”