pippa espina;

We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of TRUE ROMANCE magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way.    —     Hunter S. Thompson

[pippv-blog]

ᴍᴀʀᴛʏ.

      “ Fuck if I know, I BARELY even GRADUATED. You graduate yet ? ”

“ I’m NINETEEN! Twenty in April. If I hadn’t graduated high school yet, I’d be fucking retarded. Like, Emilio Estevez in Breakfast Club level stupid. I’m shocked he wasn’t a super senior. I like to consider myself more of a Judd Nelson as Bender kinda chick — sexy badass type. The amount of times I had detention, I spent more time in school than out. ” The annoyance in her expression was quickly replaced with a smile half smug. Though her words were only recited ( and carefully phrased ) to garner the types of reactions and perceptions she wanted, they weren’t lies. And though activities in detention weren’t exactly ending with pop songs and a fist pump on the field, she had to be a little bit proud of her REBELLIOUS activities, even though they hadn’t made her particularly popular. 

[pippv-blog]

ᴋᴇᴠɪɴ.

The reaction made by her friend brings out one from Kevin herself: eyebrows brought together, the followed by a suppressed smile.  ❛  What? By that logic, – I grew up MONTHS ago. I’ve been an adult for… for, well, over a year, at least!  ❜  She argued but Kevin had little intent of winning any sort of discussion: Pippa never really listening to a voice of reason, regardless.  ❛  Big whoop! It’s not like I’m some– super mega fan, or anything. Some might say you’ve failed this supposed PARENTING, Philippa.  ❜  

“ Your adulthood isn’t brought on by the act of it all, Kevin, but your willingness to share your SEXVENTURES. You told me there was tongue with like, no pressure! I might as well start renting pornos for us to watch on movie night at this rate. ” She shoved her papers away, deeming the inquisition and embarrassment of her best friend far more important than any admissions essay. “ Seriously. I’m a good influence, Kevin, and don’t you forget it ---- did you guys fuck? Because you gotta stay safe. And tell me. Immediately.  ”

[pippv-blog]

GILFORD, MARTY.

     “ A circle still got a TOP and a BOTTOM. Everything’s got a top and a bottom, shapes, SEX, everything but like, INFINITY. ‘Cos it’s INFINITE. Hey, don’t take it out on the SANTA hats, everyone looks good in a CLASSIC Santa hat. ”

❛ Circles ARE infinity. Isn’t that, like, what pi is about? I might have failed algebra, but I got a D plus in geometry.  ❜

[pippv-blog]

OSWALT, KEVIN.

          Kevin had certain expectations & predictions when it came to a response from her best friend, and Pippa Espina never let her down. She feels cheeks heat up and lips curling at the inquiry. There’d been a lot less of that when other revelations had taken place, perhaps due to the shame that came with them.  ❛  Pippa, that’s not–  ❜  The teenager cuts herself off, refraining from continuing her path of scolding the other. They were past that, way beyond.  ❛  There might’ve been.  ❜  She finally speaks in confession, leaning back in her chair as she suppresses a grin. 

Her own smile spreads across olive toned cheeks, but Pippa’s is more devious than her counterpart’s --- teasing & though less obviously so, showing a piqued interest. ❛ For real? Kevin, you ... HOE! Color me proud! ❜ Arm was draped dramatically over her forehead as pencil and paper were cast aside, and she heaved a sigh of thinly veiled faux seriousness. ❛ They grow up so fast, Kev. I remember when I had to tell you who NSYNC was. ❜

[pippv-blog]

⊳ Kevin.

@pippv​ !!

        Kevin hadn’t told the older of the events having taken place over the summer. Not out embarrassment or regret, but rather out of uncertainty whether it was out of importance. Though, after weeks of consideration – and feelings being made known – she decided she was for it. Looking up from her homework, the younger chose to break the silence.  ❛  So… I kissed Jamie.  ❜  

Part of her was relieved, as fears of being replaced dissipated slightly. The new romantic connection was something she was torn on --- the presentable side, she was proud of her friend for moving on from Nik, excited for her to get the butterfly stomached teenage love story Pippa had always thought they deserved ( deserved far more than sneaking around with respective forbidden men ). The other side was more uncomfortable than she would like to think: she was worried that the shakiness of their past spats over their clashing personalities would continue negatively -- and that Pippa herself would become less important to her best friend. But instead, insecurities were locked up tighter than before and she instead let her mouth curl up in the corner, eyeing Kevin with proud suspicion. ❛ ------ TONGUE?  ❜

[pippv-blog]

⊳ Marty.

       “ Shh ! We might all think it, but you can’t go around SAYIN’ shit like that ! Well hey, I’d say that’s REASON enough. Christmas is fucking AWESOME. Presents, festive sex, presents AND festive sex ? What’s NOT to love ? I read something, like, if the world’s a CYCLICAL, like a fucking circle ? We’re at the BOTTOM of the circle. God’s SLACKING, and we’re SUFFERING. We just got the SHORT STRAW ‘cos in a few thousand years ? We’ll be at the TOP of the circle again. ”

❛ You can’t be at the bottom of a circle. It’s flat. AND it has no end --- it’s round! Maybe this is why god hates us, we don’t understand our SHAPES, and fuck wearing Santa hats on his birthday. We deserve it. ❜

[pippv-blog]

⊳ Bucket.

     “ yeah but – but what about KAYDEN ? ”

She exhaled softly and her eyes rolled as she moved forward begrudgingly, and reached up to put her hands on his shoulders. After giving him a stern look, she spoke: ❛ Look: I don’t know who the FUCK Kayden is. But whoever, whatever: the whole moody, wallow-y unrequited love thing is stupid. Make a move, or make a molehill out of that mountain so you can get over it. I don’t want to see you not ... acting like yourself. ❜

[pippv-blog]

MARTY !

       “ Woah, woah, woah don’t drag me into your INSULTS of God. I said the religious system is CORRUPT, but I’m still hoping if my main man up there DOES exist, he’s gonna give me a pass into HEAVEN. So y’know, just, be COOL. Priests on the other hand ? FUCK priests. And yeah, fuck CHURCHES too. But God is COOL, and Jesus, and Adam and Eve are DEBATABLE but – – free drinks ain’t FREE. To me anyways, y’know the big boss takes it off my PAYCHEQUE. I really am the Good Samaritan. ”

❛ God is a FRAUD, Gilford. No one is smart enough to know he exists! ---- Some sky being? BULLSHIT. The only reason people still believe in a document as old as balls is so we don’t have to give up Christmas. Wouldn’t be shocked if Hallmark executives are like ... making more Easter cards instead of feeding children in ... wherever! Which God would be taking care of if he existed.  ❜

[pippv-blog]

CHACE !

@pippv !!

          A month back on the job, and Chace was already slacking; feet thrown up on the desk, arms crossed behind his head. Lunchtime for others served as nap time for him. What he wouldn’t give to be a kindergarten teacher instead. Or, more like it, supervisor. The sight of a familiar face didn’t force Chace to fix his posture, rather he spoke candidly. She had already graduated after all.  ❛  Thanks, but I’ve gotta sleep because I have a big day… of misery ahead of me.  ❜ 

❛ Wakey-wakey? ❜ She offered, the polite smile etched into her face sending out the message that she wanted a favor, but the dull sarcasm in her voice showing true colors of personality --- instead of retreating to let him nap, she moved towards his desk, setting down a cup of coffee, still radiating heat from being made. ❛ I did ATTEND this school, you know. Half the kids sleep during lunch too --- HENCE the peace offering of Jess’s finest, because ... I need something. ❜

[pippv-blog]

BECKETT !

     “ it’s not – EMBARRASSED ? no. i just don’t wanna’ scare mav away. he’s my best friend. or whatever. i don’t want to make it weird. plus, like, it would totally ruin my chances with girls. ”

❛ DUDE, relax. I don’t think he’d be ... upset or scared or whatever. You’re a CATCH, Beck. A douche, but a catch. And ... as a girl? Girl’s DON’T care. Or, like, they SHOULDN’T. But whatever, spoil my dreams of playing matchmaker ‘cause you’re SCARED. ❜

[pippv-blog]

ᴮᴱᶜᴷᴱᵀᵀ

     “ pippa, no. don’t – c’mon, don’t tell kevin. please. i told you and.. and only you. i’m not —- i’m not fucking around with this. no one else can know. ”

❛ I’m not a 𝑆𝑁𝐼𝑇𝐶𝐻, Beck. AND I’m a good friend. --------- KEV won’t tell anyone either, but ... 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚. You’ve bought my silence, no coupons for next time. You’re really that embarassed about it? ❜

[pippv-blog]

ᴹᴬᴿᵀʸ

        “ Humanity fucking SUCKS. Mark my words, religious folk aren’t any BETTER. I’m not JUDGEMENTAL, we’re all  CROOKS ! They’re just ASSHOLES for not ADMITTING it. They probably take the money from that BOX thing or whatever and spend it on a HOOKER. A high class one so they don’t feel so SHITTY about themselves. You could just give the money to ME. Least you know where it’s going. BOOZE and last month’s RENT. Simple man of simple NEEDS and PLEASURES. ” 

❛ Yeah, but ... they believe in HELL and 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 like that. They’re too scared of Jesus and Adam and Eve and whoever to steal for hookers. Sex before marriage is a sin, you know, unless it involves CHOIR BOYS. Which is like, super ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉᵈ ᵘᵖ, you know? That they do that. ---- So, yeah, FUCK churches! I’m not gonna give you money for nothing though. Free drinks for life, maybe. ❜

[pippv-blog]

ᴷᴱⱽᴵᴺ

          𝑰𝑻 𝑭𝑬𝑳𝑻 𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑬𝑹.  Now than before. And Kevin felt as if perhaps things weren’t so out of her control as she’d originally thought. Hand ran through auburn hair, a small chuckle leaving the brunette as Pippa spoke.  ❛  Exactly !  ❜  She chimed in, only now giving Pippa’s situation a proper thought. She wasn’t the brightest, nor the most inventive, but Kevin wasn’t stupid. There had to be ways for her friend to keep her head up; proving whomever doubted her ability wrong. But mostly, prove it to herself.  ❛  What about … a job, or an internship ? You could – – Maybe you could take classes ? Just for fun ? Whatever you want. It doesn’t HAVE to be boring. What do you want to do ? I mean, if you could do ANYTHING––– what would it be ?  ❜  

The corners of her lips moved upwards, and her eyes flickered over her best friend, studying the other’s visage for a brief moment --- she was THANKFUL to have Kevin, no matter how much Pippa’s constant outbursts and speedy mind changes put strife between her and her much more demure best friend. And yet, somehow they clicked: the younger wouldn’t change that for anything. ❛ Maybe ... ❜ Words were still tentative as she trailed off, gears ｗｈｉｒｒｉｎｇ in thought of what exactly the answer to Kevin’s question was ---- if she could do anything she wanted, would she do anything at ALL? ❛ I don’t fucking know, ❜ Deep thought morphed into 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 quickly, and she shook her head, dismissing any thoughts of figuring something out. ❛ The only thing I’m good at is being mean and picking the lock to my parents’ liquor cabinet. ❜

[pippv-blog]

FILED UNDER: oswalt, kevin.

          Guilt had already been established by the time Kevin had finished her sentence, though it was quick to solidify upon Pippa’s response. She felt bad, she did. But enabling and doing as expected would only do good for so long, wouldn’t it ? She wasn’t sure.  ❛  Prove them wrong …   ❜  The teen suggested, lips pressed into a thin line.  ❛  You’re SMART. And you’re STUBBORN. There’s nothing you CAN’T do.  ❜  Her words were ones genuine, unaffected by any possible bias.  ❛  Lots of people do, Pippa. I promise. You just have to give them a chance. Maybe people aren’t as bad outside of school, and –– Mr. Estrada, I mean, Joseph –– he cares, right ? Even if he is being a dirtbag.   ❜

&. ——— A smile graced tanned features --- a genuine one, not forced to “fake it ‘till you make it.” Her eyes connected with Kevin’s form instead of focused entirely on the ground, trying to drag herself to do it. Instead, she nodded, the vague mixture of satisfaction and GRATEFULNESS still drawing the corners of her mouth upward. ❛ I think ... I still don’t think I want to go to school. University, I mean. Not right now. But ... I can still do something. Not to stick it to him, or get revenge or anything. For me. And you. ‘Cause your opinion matters WAY more than his ---- forever sisters before ex-misters, right? ❜

[pippv-blog]

kevin.

          She almost believed the younger had come to her senses; that she’d focus on something else, anything else. Though when Pippa spoke again, she felt her stomach drop and a sigh made it past nude lips.  ❛  Pippa …  ❜  The teen breathed, letting go of her friend’s hand. An act that she quickly would regret. Her touch would offer support and words would sound less harsh, she realised that. Though the sense of frustration that lurked within allowed her to keep her arms to her sides, chestnut gaze surely appearing more cold.  ❛  Why can’t you let this go ?  ❜

Her face fell when Kevin’s hand retracted from hers, and her heart dropped along with it at the other’s words. The older was right, and Pippa knew it. She knew no amount of scheming and dragging the other along with her was going to make her feel better ---- make either of them feel better. Admitting that someone else was right was foreign to Pippa, her stubbornness always resting as a chip on her shoulder. But what was more important than the ever growing anger and jealousy and a million other negatives brewing in her was the one standing in front of her. And so ------- ❛ You’re right. ❜ Her eyes were cast downward, the vague chill in her best friend’s eyes leaving her unable to look at her directly. ❛ I’m just ---- MAD! I’m so ... angry. What else am I supposed to do? Sit around and let everyone think they’re right about me? --------- Kev, I’m pretty sure you’re the only one in Sheffield who gives a shit about me. ❜

[pippv-blog]

gilford, marty.

      “ Don’t even think my Pop paid CHILD SUPPORT, real CUNT and a half if I say so. I wouldn’t lose SLEEP over it, even CHARITIES don’t give a shit about being CHARITABLE. S’just a tax write off for most of ‘em. Much more HUMANITARIAN to give it to your friends. ”

❛ Right? Like, I bet all those kids in ... whatever starving countries there are are still going without food because some douche at the Red Cross wanted a fat paycheck. It’s IMMORAL, and it’d make me just as bad to give ‘em money. Maybe, I’ll like, give some money to one of those church groups that goes places. They don’t have to pay taxes, they’d give it. Or, you know, the angels will smite them. ❜

[stydixa]