In the end, you have to watch out for everyone and everything, they will always hurt us at some point without us realising it. Art by Haylee Morice

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@pitifulvibes
In the end, you have to watch out for everyone and everything, they will always hurt us at some point without us realising it. Art by Haylee Morice
love & isolation are so strange because in solitude, u create all these perfect scenarios for your imaginary darlingāyou would cut them fruit & dance in the kitchen & always kiss them twice in case the first one doesn't take properlyābut as soon as you're given the chance, you fumble. it's so mortifying, having not practiced but taken so much time to plan it out, & you finally get your shot & you can hardly hold their hand or meet their eyes. you want love so badly & you've been deprived of others for so long, your actual capability is distorted. you wince at their touch or can only leave them small gifts when you're out of the room. the intensity increases, the thought that you don't deserve softness heightens. it's a terrible cycle: wanting & wanting & letting that want turn to a festering that ruins it before you can reel yourself back
just watch tick tick boom and damn was it good, also way too relatable as an artist and just the dilemma of following your dreams or living well materially and how theres so little time yet so much and everything is so fucked but we still have each otherĀ
when marya hornbacher said āhow could i possibly love someone else when i couldnāt begin to conceive of showing them who i was?ā and when maggie smith said āi carried my fear of the world as if it could protect me from the worldā and when mitski said āyouāre growing tired of me and all the things i donāt talk aboutā and when franz kafka said āi am fond of lovers but i cannot love, i am too far away, am banishedā and when jamie varon said āfear kept me from a lot of things, but perhaps the most poignant was that it kept me from loving and opening myself to another personā and when clarice lispector said āiām abandoning everything! everything! and that way i wonāt be abandonedā and when taylor swift said āsome things you just canāt speak aboutā and when butterscotch horseman said āi wanted you to respect me. i wanted you to love me. i was so afraid that you would know thatā and when keith haring said āi am becoming very hard on the outside and even softer on the insideā and when fiona apple said āhow can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone?ā
all I do is listen to music and think about my silly little fictional people
jo march really was like. i love the people around me and i cannot cope with them leaving and being mature and appealing enough to start new chapters in their lives while i'm still clinging into this idealised, carefree, comedy-like lifestyle i thought was gonna last forever. and i really thought platonic relationships could replace my repressed longing for a romantic one but now all my loved ones' first priorities became romance. meanwhile i cannot put myself out seeking a romantic relationship because that would automatically mean altering, belittleing, objectifying and compromising myself, my life would become a cliche with guaranteed unhappy ending because i feel like no one in this world could truly make me happy. and i do want to embrace my independent, single lifestyle but i guess i didnt calculate back then how lonely it's going to feel. it's like my only choice is between two types of unhappiness. jo march conveyed all this stuff and i'm not supposed to tear up just thinking about that goddamn movie???
I am so fucking sick of CGI this, CGI that. give me back on location filming (when possible), give me back intricate hauntingly realistic animatronics and puppets, give me back handmade props & masks & skillful make upā¦ā¦..just give me back practical effects I am begging
You don't understand Ei gets my inability to accept loss, She gets my need to isolate from the world, she gets how detached i am from my own loneliness and above all she gets my inability to cook
Iām saying this seriously. I think weāre gonna need to start treating air conditioning as a human right. Prisoners, the homeless, and generally the poor will suffer the most as our planet starts heating up
itās so funny how immune i am to hustle culture. people will talk about taking breaks for their mental health and how difficult it was for them to do what was right for them and iām like. itās absolutely unreal how quickly iāll dump something i donāt want to do anymore.
Before Dawn - Xiao Hua Yang
miss the dragon | éé¾ 1Ć06
Thereās this little thing about DAYS that I love (there are so many things about this show that I love!), is the fact that the deity that represents creation/life⦠is in perpetual state of dying, and the one that represents destruction/death cannot die (stop existing) itself⦠no matter how much he wants to do exactly that, as long as life exists he exists. It seems to be a dichotomy but it is actually perfect, life is an ephemeral thing, short or long, itās always finite, death in the other hand⦠is permanent.
Joo Ik saying "You don't have to be the first woman I loved to be my first love. When you start loving someone, it's new and feels like first love. Love comes in different shapes every time you're in love. Well, in that sense, you are my first love." was so important and fitting.
I was disappointed for a moment when he said she was his first love, because I worried they'd brought all of it back to "first love is special/fate/whatever" when this storyline was all about being held back by a first love that you put so much expectations and projections into that it takes a life on its own, separate of the actual person you used to love, and letting that go.
But no, my man Joo Ik drove the point home, especially with that "love comes in different shape every time". There's no reason to compare love (or feel threaten by past ones, especially the first) because every single one is different.
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