icl michael’s quotes are probably my favorite (and there are a lot)
“My God, Boots! You’re a monkey!” - Michael
“Nowadays, it’s just sad.” - Michael
“Let’s go on the way-back, Dr. Peanut!” - Michael
“Washington basically built a gaga ball pit for defense.” - Michael
“China is a weird shape. It looks like a broken car.” - Michael
“Suck it France. You and your baguettes.” - Michael
“I think she can’t pull because her name is Odessa.” - Michael
“So we have to physically be Rihanna?” - Michael
(giving people gum) “This is my economy.” - Michael
“I don’t know what universe you live in, but you might have to see a medical professional.” - Michael
“What is the password de password?” - Michael
“You, my friend, just got dipped and ripped.” - Michael
“May I have my telephone back, sir?” - Michael
“No one cares. Respectfully.” - Michael
“We just need someone to take one for the team.” - Michael
“Rome was built in a day.” - Michael
“Who put a door here?” - Michael
“Bro is fiddlin’ with that Roll-Up!” - Michael
“I’ll steal the keys to the fuse. Just kidding, it’s not locked.” - Michael
“Looks like we have the same tastes and interests.” - Michael
“It’s okay. Don’t fret. But there are a lot.” - Michael
“Lowkey, my shift starts in two minutes. This happens every day.” - Michael
“Better get the rice ready.” - Michael
“Well, no one’s gotten hit by a car yet, so we’re probably fine.” - Michael
“You guys weren’t even watching Lia do her griddy!” - Michael
“I AM THE DRIVER, you are the victim.” - Michael
“You never know when you might need a strand of DNA.” - Michael
“I’m not gonna touch it. I’m just gonna eat this chip.” - Michael
“Can’t just throw my house on the ground like that.” - Michael
“You look like a Super Smash Bros. character.” - Michael
“You can call me Bob if you want, I guess.” - Michael
“I might have just lied to your face.” - Michael
“Oh, it actually is illegal.” - Michael
“It says it was made by me but my name is spelled wrong.” - Michael
“Pop culture references! Go team!” - Michael
“Guys, this is a PG space.” - Michael
“It’s International Women’s Day! …My favorite.” - Michael
“I think I’d kill it in heels.” - Michael
“As you can see, I am perfectly fluent in Italian.” - Michael
“I acknowledge the Michael B. Jordan of it all.” - Michael
“I am also deaf, so, don’t worry.” - Michael
“Let’s do a Chromebook durability test.” - Michael
“That’s a skill issue on your part.” - Michael
“You’re a liar, a deceiver, a manipulator, a gaslighter” - Michael
“I wish I had a mustache like that.” - Michael
“It’s the world of checks and balances.” - Michael
“Everything they touch turns to hummus.” - Michael
“What do we do with a drunken soldier?” - Michael
“I’m still the rose between two thorns, apparently.” - Michael
“Too busy exploiting railroad workers.” - Michael
“I’m stepping away from the person with the meat fork.” - Michael
“I bet you Dean Redding loves to paint his nails.” - Michael
“W in the chat.” - Michael
“Make sure you get your certificate for Bitches Be Crazy 101.” - Michael
“Knowing laugh from the kitchen table.” - Michael
“My guy Pooh has a TWISTED subconscious.” - Michael
“I have a serious problem of tickling people’s feet.” - Michael
“I know I can be embarrassing, but I promise I’ll be nice.” - Michael
“We need to have an entire thing that’s just, like, nacho cheese.” - Michael
“Unreliable narrator.” - Michael
“How do we feel about sea shanties?” - Michael
“My pants are falling down. I guess they just saw you guys coming!” - Michael
“People in New York when they have bread crumbs.” - Michael
“Usually I’m a great driver.” - Michael
“You got this, Cassie. Stay strong.” - Michael
“The cold can’t bother me anyway.” - Michael
“Shawty making green beans.” - Michael
“Maybe the T tests were the friends we made along the way.” - Michael
“Time for the Physics Test of Doom and Despair.” - Michael
