You Cannot Hold a Star. Gaz x AMAB reader
Charm was his middle name. Or maybe the description of his smile. Or his eyes. Doesn’t matter. None of it makes you swoon. His smile doesn’t automatically transfer to your mouth. His eyes don’t make you check if the sky is missing any stars. None of that applies to you, of course.
Let’s cut the bullshit now! As much as you wanted to deny it, he charmed you better than a damn snake. Every night in your room, you’d scream into your pillow, driven mad from re-counting the stars again. One late night, when the air was especially charged and you couldn’t sleep, you realized it all. You have a fucking crush on him.
After your shameful realization, you began to avoid him. You can’t have a crush on another soldier, the hell were you thinking? As if the “pretty boy” Gaz would seriously date you anyways. Nonetheless you knew you had to create space. It was way harder than anticipated to dodge him. He was your comrade in arms after all. But you, you were as slippery as a slug. Leaving meetings as soon as possible, never lingering in the rec room for too long. You even began to eat lunch outside. You really had the slug thing down. Maybe too much. Because, without the warmth of his smile, you felt so cold. Gaz noticed. So much so that he took extra measures to make you comfortable. Bringing you extra snacks, cleaning your weapons for you, even biting the head off a disrespectful rookie. The poor guy ran 60 laps. He assumed you were feeling left out, and the little shit was doing his best to fix it. Fire and ice, you two.
A part of you wanted to give in, sink into those vast eyes and accept his comfort. Even if you knew it was only platonic. But no! Stubborn little you would NOT fold. Even if on the off chance you had a shot with him, you hated to be another one of his bunnies, the damn playboy. More shame creeped into you, afraid of how much you wanted to be exclusive.
Unfortunately, while your pride kept you from him, you couldn’t help but feel stars seep under your door at night. Felt them sprinkle down from the skies, prickling your face. Felt them choking up your throat. He consumed your thoughts and breaths as if he belonged there. A part of you knew he did. A handsome ass parasite.
So you did what you knew best. You doubled down on avoidance. no longer giving awkward, half-assed smiles. Just none. It was easier to erase yourself from his mind than to work through "fEeLiNgS."
Gaz was fucking tired of it. He wasn’t used to being denied what he wanted. Especially not a person. He knew the effect he had on people, and it was driving him off a cliff that it wouldn't work on you. You. You had been the man he had his eye on for months. You were cute. About his height, give or take a few inches. You were strong, took care of yourself and your team. He was enamored with you. Those feelings festered after your first hangout.
9pm on a summer night, you and Gaz were outside. Your respective teams still inside. At first, it was a bit awkward, since it was an accident. Gaz came outside for a smoke, catching you sitting on the grass. He sits beside you, scaring the shit out of you. Your little jump makes him laugh, giving you his smile. The smile that turns night into day. You both remain outside, neither of you running away from the company. It leads to talking. For hours. Backgrounds, personal stories, jokes, the usual. Casual. Until your back straightened, your eyes locking on the sky intently. The wind finally cleared up the view. You showed him the sky, pointed out all the constellations. Nerdy, but cute. The stars flickered like candles, and he noticed that night, the twinkling didn’t stop at you. The expansion seemed to hug you, to welcome you. You embodied the heavens down on earth. Your own smile and excitement buried itself deep inside Gaz. And that would have consequences.
That night, Gaz changed. He dropped the "act" for everyone but you. He stopped his winks, his planned smiles, his captivating chuckles. He stopped entertaining women and men alike. For his heart thumped for a fallen star. You, his sun. You showed him something gentle and infinite. And his love morphed into that, for you. Never once had he felt romance. And if he did, like hell it was as strong as this. There was a magnetic, fucking gravitational pull that kept him looking for you. After every mission, before every meal. His meerkat-head pops up above the crowd to locate you, like a radar. When he spots you, likely poorly hiding, he feels as if the sun has finally risen. The night is casted away and the birds sing. He has to squint against the blinding love, the radiance that is you.
When you began to ignore him, about a month after your shared moment, his world was shrouded in pitch. The stars faded back into the sky. But, something else darkened in his chest. An ugly, curling feeling that he never felt before. A throbbing urge to do something brash. To keep his star in his sky. Alone. No one else could even fathom the expansion of your soul. Not like he did.
A few months of avoidance and the both of you are in shambles. You, forcing yourself to deny your feelings. Him, forcing himself not to lock you away somewhere. An altar, maybe. The tension continues until today. Today, at the Tipsy Sailor, a bar your force frequented to celebrate. Today, where a girl drunkenly kisses you. Today, where Gaz almost went to jail. A seething, white anger that blinded him to all rationale. He almost hit a woman then. But instead, a missile hit his heart. You were straight.
AN: hewwo princess.. daddy has returned home uwu uwu uwu. sorry if this is poop, didn't spend too much time on polishing. enjoy tho <3
