THIS HEAT HAS MADE ME EVIL. ETERNAL SNOW WARNING FOREVER BITCHES

[pkmn-team-snow]

HEY FUCKERS AND BITCHES.

IT'S TIME. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS GODDAMN BULLSHIT. WE'RE KILLING THE SUN SO BUCKLE UP CHUCKLEFUCKS BECAUSE THIS STRAP BROKE THE NUMEL'S BACK!

TEAM SNOW IS NOW RECRUITING. OUR GOAL IS TO ELIMINATE THE HEAT WAVE FOREVER THROUGH WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY.

FUCK THE SUN. IT KNOWS WHAT IT DID.

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING!

-one of those cunts from the southern hemisphere. you'll be permitted to talk to me in six months if you're still around but otherwise check your fucking privilege. wintermongers.

-fire type trainer. you're part of the problem

-my neighbor Greg who is a whiny little bitch and mows the yard on sundays.

-danganronpa fan. i don't think there's anything morally wrong with liking a murdery visual novel i just think you guys are annoying and i don't want to talk to you. also the little stufful mascot thing freaks me out.

-that fuckass little shithead who keeps telling me that the HOA wants me to water my lawn. i'll fucking end you right now.

-volcarona. fuck if i know how one would type but i hate you. do not interact!

This is a really silly evil team blog based on the idea that the heat is making people evil. feel free to send ic hate, but Pelipper mail and magic anons are off.

[pkmn-team-snow]

The heat is getting to me I cant think syraight...

Both in that my brain feels like mush, but also... girls....

girls are hot

we should protect girls from the horrors of heatstroke and underboob sweat

[pkmn-team-snow]

Watermelon :)

I don't really like messy foods. Ah, but the heat has let up a bit... I'll have to make a grocery run while I still can.

Gotta get some ointment while I'm there; thighs keep chafing.

[0sbrain]

[pkmn-team-snow]

Finally I have reached a comfortable temperature

Please note I am typing this from inside a block of ice (with holes for my arms and head)

I love having a Froslass who can use ice beam on me :)

i'm so fucking jealous.

[pkmn-team-snow]

[Photo ID: Alolan Ninetales Snorfling You. Or the camera, anyway.]

so elegant! Damn I'd love one of those sprawled on my lap to cool me down

[pkmn-team-snow]

Water cycle water schmycle. I'm sure enough of a heatwave would dry out this 7.8/10 region.

how did I attract the most moronic crowd with this blog.

[oncerocket-nowplasma]

People tend to be drawn to people similar to them!!

[pkmn-team-snow]

There's really no way you walk out of this looking good, since you were drawn to my blog.

[pkmn-team-snow]

Water cycle water schmycle. I'm sure enough of a heatwave would dry out this 7.8/10 region.

how did I attract the most moronic crowd with this blog.

[pkmn-team-snow]

Sorry but your wrong, this heat is great. Hoenn has too much water, maybe this'll finally fix that.

bitch do you know how the water cycle works.

[pkmn-team-snow]

Yo I think the guy who took out the sun in Alola for a bit was called Necromancer or smth

We should totally add them to the list of strats

I'm not fucking with that. Suicune seems much safer.

[pkmn-team-snow]

Hey can you please tell my buddy he's freaking stupid? He's saying we should make everything even hotter and sunnier to convince more people to hate the sun and join us.

do me a favor and look up accelerationism. your buddy is fucking stupid. get better friends.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

I love very specific cakes

[easily-evi]

I had to redraw this cake 🍰

[sweaterkittensahoy]

A companion:

[thepromiscuousfinger]

I love very specific cakes

[easily-evi]

I had to redraw this cake 🍰

[sweaterkittensahoy]

A companion:

[pkmn-team-snow]

I found you a new member

yeah sure. fuck i need to go lie down. feels like every damn time i stand up its a goddamn roulette whether my vision cuts out for a bit. need to open up my skull like a fuckin gaming pc and see what's loose.

[pkmn-team-snow]

saying its just salt is both kind of right and also an oversimplification. yes many types of salts do have at least some of the types of chemicals for electrolytes, but table salt is missing a lot of the other chemicals needed to function. its better to just get a proper electrolyte solution that can help hydrate you a bit faster while recharging your electrolyte levels (key word faster not more) than risk dehydrating or poisoning yourself by shoving fistfulls of table salt in your mouth

.....fuck me, this is too hard. maybe suicune, harbinger of the north wind and keeper of pure springs, could help cool things down? would be a little less violent than kyurem.

[pkmn-team-snow]

okay so i think youre drinking too much water actually. i know it seems unintuitive since you definitely should drink lots of water especially if you're sweating but your body can actually only process so much water in a short time and if theres too much it cant use, it just throws most of it away basically, and can make you sick or literally kill you if you drink way too much. usually i drink a glass or two every 30 minutes to an hour to prevent drinking too much.

too much water also causes your body to drain out electrolytes which are also needed to function. since theyre in season i recommend watermelon as a fruit for more electrolytes, but there are electrolyte packages you can buy and add to your drink if you dont want to have fruit or buy a ton of sports drinks.

what the fuck ever. it's just salt, right? i can just shove a bunch of salt down my throat and try my best not to taste it.

[pkmn-team-snow]

Feraligatrade or some kind of similar electrolyte drink (Pichuri Sweat seems like it should be common?) should help, too.

can't afford that much. don't wanna wreck my teeth.