2am thoughts

poetry and thoughts - a diary. * I don’t promote anything, this blog is simply a document of my weight loss journey and a collection of photos that keep me motivated * 🌵SW: 147 lbs ; 5”1 🍄CW: 125 lbs 🌻GW 1: 126 lbs ☑️ 🌹GW 2: 119 lbs 🌷GW 3: 112 lbs 🥀GW 4: 105 lbs 🌿UGW: 99 lbs

[skinteas]

[heckyeah-fitspo]

[depression-and-literature-deact]

Sometimes it feels like I’m too much of a coward to live but I’m too much of a coward to kill myself too. I don’t know why I’m here anymore.

(GIF credit: unknown)

[seekndestroyy]

[thatskinnyhoney]

[amargedom]

[plainicedcoffee]

I just want to dissolve like just disappear

[m0n573r-z3r0]

[dummy--sticcc]

im trying to keep my own “rules” lax so here are the few i have:

1000 cal a day

coffee first thing in the morning

count your damn calories

eat whatever, but stick to serving sizes*

*exception: really lowcal foods like skinny pop, danimals, etc. who have a low “servings per container”

if you go over 1000 (i.e.: fridays when ur dad gets taco bell*) fast the next day

*i literally cant say no to taco bell because A. its amazing and B. if i say no then something is DEF fucked up

10 squats whenever you’re in the bathroom until those become easy, then go to 20, etc.

stay hydrated

pics once a week to track progress (mondays!)

[emotional-rosie]

Does it make me a bad person if I’m happy that my best friend gained weight? She’s so big now and it kinda makes me happy whenever I’m with her because I know I’m over 50lbs lighter than her and look wayyyy smaller being around her, it just gives me this sickening euphoric feeling

[stxxrving]

Pristin Nayoung Thinspo

[miyanaxx]

the feeling when you can’t weight yourself for a long time and you just feel how you gain weight but don’t know how much

[icravetobebeautiful-deactivated]

body dismorphia is thinking you look great in the mirror in your room, but wanting to die in the dressing rooms in the back of that forever21. its not recognising yourself in pictures people take of you. its getting angry at yourself if you think you look good even for a second.

[plainicedcoffee]

After I try the rainbow diet, I’m gonna try the baby food diet for 4 days using these pouches. Hopefully it goes well! I work long hour busy shifts so I think the days I work will be relatively easy, it’s just the days off where I’m not doing much that will be hard.

Obviously planning to drink lots of water and herbal teas alongside these diets 🍵

[plainicedcoffee]

Planning to do the rainbow diet at the end of the month for the first time just to try it ✨

[daintyaffection]

[floating-thinspo-doll]

my anti-binge box

I’ve been seeing a few posts circulating about anti binge boxes and what people keep in them so I thought I’d share mine :)

mouthwash

toothpaste & toothbrush

laxatives

tape measure

bath salts

motivational flash cards

nail polishes

chewing gum

lip balm

a face mask

hand cream

a candle

If anyone else keeps an anti binge box I’d be interested to know what other people find helpful to keep in theirs