Are you on drugs? @plutogk - Tumblr Blog

Anyway prozac week 3 has been an interesting one. Lots of outside influence & stimuli I was not ready for. I kinda saw this coming though like the first 2 weeks were way too easy lol

Man i thought I was anxious before holy shit i have to take a (prescribed!!) Xanax before going to the GROCERY STORE. I didnt realize just how hard I've been dissociating my entire life until I got on fckin meds. Like im so much more present in my life & I feel better for sure but the "turn off the feelings" button no longer works!! Holy shit what do you mean I have to actually learn how to cope now?? FUCK

Don't feel comfortable talking about this on the other apps but I need to get it out. I got put on anxiety meds last week & had such a bad reaction (involtary hold level situation) before I even got anywhere close to normal dose that I IMMEDIATELY got yanked off that, got put on prozac & given a handful of benzos to help with the transition off one med & on to the other & the prozac is working SO WELL I havent even touched the other stuff. I have needed 0 help. I dont even have the urge to take it just cause I know it feels good/fun which is WILD with my fckin track record.

Im sleeping well for the first time in years. My mood is fucking fantastic. Very minimal side effects & im only like a week in. The first 4 to 6 weeks are supposed to be rough?? Like everyone says its pretty hard but im just... fine? Its not even supposed to be helping yet!! Maybe the other stuff I was on traumatized me so bad my brain is like " OK let's cut this poor girl a break"

Im a little worried though cause im planning on having a baby hopefully next year & both the meds im on (one for my heart & one for my dysfunctional brain) can't be taken during pregnancy so that sucks but idk I guess if I really want this (i really really do) i can be uncomfy mentally again for 9 months for it. I've rawdogged life like that for a long time & survived so whatever I guess lol

Im actually kinda mad at myself for not doing this sooner. I have a lot of fear around meds bc of what i witnessed/ went through as a kid/teenager & I let that fear get in the way of getting better & that is a huge bummer but im choosing to give myself grace & just enjoy how I feel now & just be proud of myself.

Anyway im feeling really hopeful & comfortable for the first time in a long time & I just wanted to yell that into the void.

Hey so like what the fuck??

satanasaeternus

Gustave Dore - The Raven

satanasaeternus

Sophie LéCuyer

Being in your late 20s is funny as fuck dude like yeah im gonna for sure do drugs this weekend & get rowdy but on monday I'm gonna go get a library card & I'm equally excited about both things.

My husband & I got a family tree thing to fill out & submit to a company for some reason(not exactly sure what they do with it??) From a relative of his step dad (who ditched his family & underage child & got remarried very fast & was really shitty & sketchy about it long story) & it's sad but hilarious cause they obviously forgot his bio dad was estranged (27 years)& died this year & my bio dad is also estranged (21 years), I dont even know if hes still kickin, so we have no way to get the info to fill it out. Like our moms dont even have the info or contacts to get the info. How do we tell them cause I know for sure they're gonna ask about it ??

#Christmas is weird #buy people you barely know a candle or somethin damn

Got ghosted by my own parents on Christmas LOL

V excited to say whatever I want on here without my mom getting all worked up & trying to lecture me LOL I'm 27 years old & i cant tweet about half the stuff I want to bc I dont wanna have to justify myself

doityourselfbombs

sorry guys knitting club is cancelled I've been transformed into a terrible beast and I'm going to eat the king.

burying-brightness-deactivated2

Scream, explain? You do it ‘til you’re trained My voice is like my horoscope I’m Scorpio, I’m strange I tried to tame my brain I admit it was in vain I let it go, it flows It knows I cannot do a thing I got grips and I got stocks I got barrels with an ox Now I’m cold enough, I can’t be angered All this writing on my walls Built them up to break my fall Now I’m cold enough, I can’t be angered