idk i just work here

em | they/them | 24 yut lung defense lawyer extraordinaire

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

We all have that one guy we hate doing night watch with on our ship

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

"I swear to god i just saw something" Ohhh my goddd

[marglith]

anxiety has you googling shit like can I check books out at the library

[diluftmensch]

damn, she’s a bad bitch. oh they’re nonbinary? my bad. damn, they’re a bad person

[verdantry]

[ycoil]

*snaps my fingers, and on some random freeway, a fuel tanker truck is instantly rotated 180 degrees*

[ycoil]

[chips1977]

chips tips volume 1

always leave the oven on because you never know ehne you need to have a roast in there

[autotono-deactivated20221027]

my friend does this because his bungalow is not up to code for a heating system so he just blasts the oven and props the door open with a bungee cord.

[chips1977]

Just shut up

[autotono-deactivated20221027]

kill yourself.

[jewfrogs]

theyre adding a new piece to the chess board its called the prince and basically he fags it up out there

[titiadocigarro]

www.guy-for-whom-the-bell-tolls.com/careers

[unrelenting-usurper]

Sign at my local movie theater that feels like a desperate warning

[gauntletqueen]

Eggman's security system during a break-in

[grimalditeuthis]

cats are so naturally skilled at Writhing In Sunbeam. i wish i had even a fraction of this talent but instead i just have all these bones

[scenetorrents]

have you noticed the whole thing coming apart at the seams lately

[pharmacommissar]

you dhould be your own person. you are so young and insecure. at this rate you will never be able to find the cup or the scepter

what

[skovenshemmeligheder]

He doesn’t even have the cup or the scepter

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

kush got me feeling like a one-time passcode sent directly to your email

[anchovy]

Fag strong together. Don’t forget.

[anchovy]

[chemsexholmes]

Typically an adjective accompanies those words

[touchstonelevity]

[shortgremlinman]

[getmoneysmokeweedninja4161-deac]

is this normal

anytime i see a person in public giving off indications that they're nervous (biting nails scratching their face etc..) i grab them by the shoulders and throw them really far away