Magic
“I’m scared"
And that was the first time I ever heard her mutter those two words…I would think she was fucking with me if it weren’t for the terror I caught in her eyes. She grabbed a nearby dandelion & began crumbling it in her hands, nervously.
"But you’re not scared of anything,” I declared.
She looked up to the sky, avoiding my gaze, she tossed the bits of weeds to the ground. I could see her eyes swimming with tears that she clearly refused to let fall. She turned to face me, her expression becoming hard. With a feigned smile rising to her dimple, she responded, “Oh honey, I’m terrified” & finished it off with a playful wink.
I felt my body tensing…the confusion setting in. How? She wore fringe, spikes & dyed her hair every color. She looked at everything like she always had something to learn. She possessed an unparalleled charm, never failing to bail us out of trouble. During the summers she explored abandoned houses, she’d tell me about her pretty lovers that she would kiss under the pale moonlight. She would get lost in the woods just for fun. I’d find her cigarette butts trampled in the grass near my house, Her skin always adorned with bruises & band-aids. Her smile matched the sun, her hair wild as the weeds, & she would chase me until I ran out of breath. She was bold, she was alive, & she was free…or maybe not.
I felt an ache weigh heavily in my chest, was I blind all this time? I looked her straight in the eyes & said, “But you sure don’t act scared…”
She rose to her toes, spinning in a dizzy circle, absorbing the sun & inviting the wind to kiss her skin. “Of course I don’t silly, nobody likes scared people…they’re such a draggggg” she said as she began to belly laugh & fall to her ass.
& then I saw it…as I watched her laugh, instead of cry, her image blurring as it all unfolded right in front of my eyes. We’re all scared. Some of us choose to hide, go through the motions & pretend to be safe like we’re unable to die. But some of us, some of us are magic, fighting the lie, breaking the mold & living like at any moment we could die.
I launched myself into the air, landing by her side, rolling through the grass, I saw everything in contrast colors & flashes; dimples, eyelashes, bruises, tears… magic. We couldn’t stop laughing, laughing because we knew, that she had taught me magic & I was becoming magic too.















