[poetic-leigh]

you said not to

cheat on a person

because they will

remember

at 1am

with alcohol in their hand,

ready

but here I am still,

with vodka in my

veins and blood

on my hands

wondering why

the opening in my skin

doesn’t hurt

half as much

as you in my

heart,

and wondering

why I wasn’t

enough

// fourteen days later //

l.a.l

[poetic-leigh]

you are the vodka

in my blood, and

you are every breath

that leaves my empty

body

// tiny words, i //

l.a.l

[poetic-leigh]

i haven’t eaten for

forty two hours

and Logic tells

me i must

have something.

it tells me

that fingernails and

the skin off my

lips won’t cut

it any more.

Brain tells me

there’s too

many as i

google the number

of calories in

a stick of

gum, but argues

it’s okay if i can

make those

eleven last all

day.

Logic

tells me

i’m stupid.

Brain agrees.

i tell my leg

to stop shaking

and my hand to

keep steady

and Logic

teams up with

Binging to

tell me i’m

stupid.

Binging tells

me i need

sugar. it says

if i eat just

one biscuit it

will leave me

alone.

Binging

is lying to me. i

know Binging is

lying to me.

Binging is

addicted to the

sugar and one

biscuit will

never be enough.

Logic tells me

that Binging doesn’t

control me, while

i can feel Binging’s

fingers tighten around

my neck.

Mirror looks

at me in

disgust as the biscuit

is in my fingers. Brain

is using it’s

calculator and

logic tells me

i’m weak.

Binging tells me

it’s proud.

Brain tells me

i’m stupid.

Logic agrees.

so do i.

// logic and eating disorder walk into a bar //

l.a.l