writing as a coping mechanism

Christian, Student, INFJ, Female, and a million other things.  I really do be writing stuff sometimes.

[poetry-vs-depression]

my favorite genre of musical theater song is "the Russians just go crazy"

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[poetry-vs-depression]

everyday this month I've gotten this 🤏 close to quitting school ... but then something good happens. a patient gets better. i get time for a nap. a supervisor buys matcha for the team. and in my heart it's like I can hear a voice whispering to me, "you can do it. keep going."

and I think about how Elijah wanted permission to quit, but God responded with a whisper.

[wiingdings]

if anyone ever wonders what its like to have pda or executive function issues it just feels like this constantly

[poetry-vs-depression]

recommend me books that will make me feel less lost in my twenties

[poetry-vs-depression]

I think I need to write. I think something is wrong when I carry all my thoughts in my head. I think I need a better void than my mind. I think I need to shout. I think it makes me ill to not be a writer, not in the sense of a professional writer - not an author - but a writer in the way someone is an easy crier or a nailbiter. I think I need to clickity clack on this keyboard until my brain doesn't hurt as much. I think the person I am becoming needs to be witnessed in a safe space, I think she needs to exist in ink and have the history of her life be documented, I think the people I've been cannot die without a trace. Every so often I remember this. I wish I could remember that I need to write .

[sirwilliamlucasstanaccount]

Elizabeth and Charlotte are portrayed as very close friends, but they’re 6 or 7 years apart. It seems unlikely they’ve always had an equal relationship, more likely it’s sort of an idolized-older-kid dynamic that has recently come onto more equal footing. And it makes me sad to think that Charlotte had to navigate so much of coming of age by herself.

I imagine a young Lizzie watching Charlotte get dressed in fancy dresses and do her hair and go to balls and having such love for her as to imagine she must be a catch for any of the boys!! And to be so excited to hear all the second-hand gossip and the drama and think Charlotte’s prospects should always work out if she wants them to! And any time a match doesn’t work out for Charlotte, she wants to hide her own pain or embarrassment, or she doesn’t want to stop Lizzie being excited to enter society, so she tells Lizzie they weren’t in love or he was vain, and she’s still searching for the right guy.

And Lizzie loves her so much she couldn’t possibly think there’s more than what Charlotte’s telling her, and by the time she’s joined her in being out, Lizzie just believes Charlotte’s put herself above these options and she’s still waiting for someone new, and better, and why not? She deserves it. Lizzie’s not blind to how people speak of Charlotte in society, but it’s because they’re rude, or pompous, or perhaps it’s a coping mechanism from the time Charlotte rejected them, and she cannot for a minute believe it’s been what anyone halfway decent has always thought of her.

Then when Charlotte picks Mr. Collins, it makes absolutely no sense! He isn’t any better than some of the options that have always been around, and hasn’t Charlotte been the one to place herself above those boys? Haven’t they always been after her for her charming personality and quick mind? Hasn’t she been able to choose any of them at any point but has decided not to?

Beside the shock to learn Charlotte was perhaps desperate to marry, and that she would be willing to put up with a Mr Collins to do it, I think there must have been a very deep grief in reconsidering that maybe no one in this town had seen Charlotte for how wonderful she was, nor had loved Charlotte so much as Lizzie had and as Charlotte deserved. And by refusing to see this earlier, and refusing to engage with anything beyond optimistic ideals, Lizzie had left her to carry the feelings of disappointment and rejection all alone.

[poetry-vs-depression]

i want to be friends with benefits but the benefits are marriage, commitment, and a lifelong pursuit of knowing each other more deeply

[beginnerblueglass]

i LOVE when stories end with forgiveness

[littorinaobtusata]

the friar from much ado about nothing after his faking a death scheme actually works: wow, I can't wait to tell my friend in verona about this one weird trick!

[poetry-vs-depression]

poem about pure ocd + hypervigilance and trying new things

faith

or

foolishness?

hope

or

desperately ignoring all the signs?

am i doubting myself or do i know myself better than they ever have?

---

am i catastrophizing or was i trained in the school of catastrophe, recent graduate, top of my class?

if my alarm is going off then i must be right, yes?

yes?

no?

yes?

my mind is racing racing racing as i'm driving thinking-

am i self sabatoging this relationship, or am i just escaping a catastrophe?!

doing what i could have done in childhood if i had been free to leave?!

does it matter if it's all just one big self fulfilling prophecy- i leave because it's failing, it fails because i leave ?!

their accolades mean nothing to me, small critiques mean everything!

there is something to lose. trying isn't free. maybe for someone but not for me.

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags a book that everyone and their grandmama considers a “classic” but that you HATE with every fiber of your being.

[sunshineandrosesnoraincamemyway]

Of Ashes The Musical is an absolute work of art oh my goodness

[anniflamma]

So I have just discoverd Of Ashes The Musical.

I cried like a little b

I didnt know that Jesus was in it

I cried

WHY IS THERE LIKE ONLY 1 FAN ANIMATIC OF THIS MUSICAL?!!! STOP SLEEPING ON THIS ONE FOLKS!

[poetry-vs-depression]

you think claire is annoying. i think claire should be the emotional support best friend who convinces carmy and syd to just kiss already. we are not the same.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Sydcarmy + Season 4 + Text Posts