[enemies-to-oh-no-deactivated202]

As we all decided "death of the author" I will start adding new, 100% canon, information:

• Madam Maxine taught Hagrid how to do the macarena

• The Black family used to go on vacations to France

• Sirius won the Most Handsome Convict three years in a row

•Regulus used to shout obscene things to James while he was playing Quidditch to distract him but it stuck so James couldnt talk to him without feeling harassed

• James used to blame Remus' "bad behaved rabbit" for their pranks

• Sirius is wanted in France

• McGonagall has a private section of cat weed on the greenhouses

• Blaise bet with Pansy that Drarry was end game, he still owes her 25 galleons because "It might still happen"

• Remus and Lily told all the purebloods that Mickey Mouse is a muggle God

• Once James threatened to hex Evan but Regulus heard and said that likes when he hexes him at night, James immediately left

•Dumbledore is a war criminal

•James and Sirius tried dog food, Sirius because of padfoot, James was just curious, they both liked it a lot and eat when nobody is looking

• Regulus convinced Sirius that they have a squib brother who was sold tho the Polish mafia

• Harry once went to a therapist and made her cry

• Mrs Dursley had an affair with a fortune teller

•The Daily Prophet had a 12 pages article about the scandal of the "LOST BLACK BROTHER" it involved pictures of random polish kids with black hair and an interview with a very confused polish farmer who didn't speak english

•Hedwig is pansexual

•Mr Dursley once found the fortune teller in their kitchen so Mrs Dursley gaslighted him to believe she was a maid they hired 3 years ago

• Voldemort stole his name from a old french cartoon where the dog was called VoldiMorti

• The Death Eaters lived in fear of accidentally touching the black mark while bathing

• When James started dating Lily, Regulus started calling him cheater, half of Hogwarts believed that they were in a relationship despite James' angry denials

• You're gay

[spacesong]

[despairingfever]

[kenobion]

Rami Malek as Ahkmenrah in A Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

[aobssessedhistorylover]

[adoringfriends]

[s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r]

x

[kenobion]

More Rami Malek as Ahkmenrah cause reasons

[malekedd]

[tablet-guardians-shipper]

Larry, burying his face in his hands: I’m the most horrible person ever

Ahkmenrah: My brother will be sad to know he’s been dethroned

[themurdochmemesteries]

HONESTLY PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE FUCKIN MEMES IVE MADE SO FAR

[gobbluthbisexual]

[biihanka]

It’s Rami destiny to always have a crown on his head

[jesuismurphy]

Hands down my favorite part of Night At The Museum is that it’s low key the plot of The Mummy (1999) but like, chill.

[jesuismurphy]

Like Rami Malek’s character isn’t like a mannequin come to life like the rest of them. He’s 100% a 3000 year old reanimated corpse. And everyone’s just fine with it.

[jesuismurphy]

He could just take the tablet and fully walk out of the museum and just live his life but he’s a bro and would rather be a glorified docent.

[bette-davis-deactivated20200803]

#same. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

[hack-king]

Ahkmenrah has no digestive system because of the whole mummy thing, but we know he eats and drinks thanks to the NATM 3 promos. Where does it all go

[hack-king]

Ahkmenrah, turning up in the museum lobby 15 minutes before sunrise with starbucks: What's up my good bitches?