poetry pleads

i’m a poet. and yes, i do know it.

[poetrypleads]

herself nor I

she studies me like an unpainted portrait; memorizing, graphing, outlining, measuring

she reads me as one would read a poem; tripping over uneven stanzas, desperately trying to understand its meaning; or deeper yet—its hidden thoughts

she thinks she knows me; she wants to learn me, but I won’t let her

the face she sees is not mine; I am an actress, a performer; I become anew in her presence, an enigma to both she and I, a spectacle to behold, a mirror to step into, a sound to echo..

now I study her, but I can never learn—she nor myself

herself nor I.

[ashstfu]

born to love forced to grieve

[ashstfu]

[poetrypleads]

The gods, they dance, for hoping is a song, but the opera is over and our joy came at a cost

[poetrypleads]

To see them again, what a time it’d be So much to say, I’d waste it all staring

[poetrypleads]

when i receive good news you’re the first i tell but what do i do if you’re gone

i don’t tell a soul for no other response could ever compare to yours

[poetrypleads]

Oh I wonder Where you could be Your heart in my ears, A song I can see

Colors bursting, Pleading to be free White stars afloat In a sea of memories

Oh I wonder What lies behind Only you know But when will I

I await that knowledge Patient in time For this side calls In no hurry am I

[poetrypleads]

i learn something new about grieving every day and it’s got me feeling a new version of shitty i’d rather be silent than have no one understand; despite her words, despite her insistence, i just want to dwell in my pain, my suffering i want to feel nothing but this gloom i want the shadows to overtake me i want the world to fold in on itself i want everything to stop i want my mom i miss my mom

[poetrypleads]

day by day i slowly replaced my grief that you strayed with rage that i stayed

day by day i slowly forgave myself for the way i dealt with the pain

your heart was selfish my heart was black our perception of love was being loved back

you asked for my faith i asked for your time loyalty i gave but freedom i find

[poetrypleads]

Rage

rage without borders it climbs and plateaus it buries in my chest and settles in my bones

rage without order i feel a war within battle cries ensue but outside, nothing

[poetrypleads]

falling is easy let them climb

[poetrypleads]

i court the stars with a lullaby they twinkle as they swoon they fall for me from heaven leaving only just the moon

[poetrypleads]

her memory between your eyes her touch, a long farewell a thousand dreams of her shoulders a thousand stories to tell her whisper in your ear her lips sending you mail a thousand kisses in your hand caught midair as they sail

[poetrypleads]

she asks me, “why do you cry” but these are tears that never dried they’re the love inside i cannot fight the loss of words i hope to find

she asks me, “why do you cry” the reasons for could touch the sky each tear, a memory each memory, a tide crashing along the riverside

she asks me, “why do you cry” i ask myself that all the time the why is why i often lie for tears are easier than goodbyes

she asks me, “why do you cry” i cry to fight the fear inside a fear that time is passing us by i beg for more, for you and i

[poetrypleads]

she holds my world

she holds my world as firmly as she holds me and i go limp in her arms, as trusting as i’ll ever be

her hand, i clutch like it’s a part of me and if i shall fall beside me, she’ll be

you think this is deep? you wouldn’t even believe this sea is shallow compared to trenches she’s seen

the struggles she’s faced the worries she’s freed there’s nothing on earth that she can’t defeat

so i take heed and together, we breathe i’m reminded, in fact her strength is in me

her love is my home but her heart is her own every beat, i repeat every flutter, i clone

now i hold her world as she once held me and in my arms i carry the strength she will need

my hand, she clutches my love, she keeps and if she shall fall beside her, i’ll be

[poetrypleads]

“i’m fine,” i lie i pretend to thrive i fill my life with killing time

good lord, i’m bored my heart is sore what’s it even beating for

i write emails send them to hell hope your family is doing well

i’m going mad my food’s gone bad i hope tiktok is just a fad

[poetrypleads]

if by now we were old

if by now we were old, we’d know we had made it we’d look back and laugh at the times that we hated

we’d curse all the drama, the tears and the fights we’d cry for our mamas, the early years of life

if by now we were old, we’d never change it we’d yearn for our youth, the now that we’re wasting

we’d pity the nonsense, the fools and the games we’d praise the mistakes that brought our father’s shame

if by now we were old, we’d know life was worth it despite all the madness, we’d know we deserve it

we’d sleep in on Sundays just chill and make love we’d bask in the sun and get lost just for fun

if by now we were old, we’d know all the secrets we’d write it all down so our grandkids could read it

we’d eat breakfast in bed and build pillowforts we’d watch the world end from our view on the porch

[poetrypleads]

problem child grown a mile learned to spell while acting wild watching Friends don’t touch that dial Twitter says my taste is vile

learned to think never to smile being nice just ain’t my style comment section put me on trial tears faker than a crocodile