afterlifeshine.

indie / multi-muse / semi-selective / european / 21

[rob-pattinson]

analuisacorrigan: “PNW”

[poetsdeathbeds]

just spent half a hour changing and fixing my tags. hate myself haha

[xosn0wgirl]

[lvciddreamt]

open: all ! connection: any ! muse: jay dalal, chill yet v self-centered stoner

“i mean, i’m cool with sharing the bed if you are.”

[poetsdeathbeds]

“ it’s... ” eli doesn’t want him to think he has a problem with it for the wrong reasons, so he forces himself to say the next word. “ fine. ” problem is, he has issues with sharing his personal space. it’s not something he has always struggled with, he used to be very physical, but two years in jail caused him to shiver at any touch he doesn’t initiate. sleeping with someone, especially if he doesn’t know them that well, can be a lot.

[richardmaddan]

Björn Mosten as Max Järvi in LOVE & ANARCHY (2020 - )

[satiinskiin]

open: f. please don’t like my starters!

avoiding her gaze wasn’t going to help, brody knew that. but it was helping him collect his thoughts as he’d started to get dressed. “you’re a good fuck. that’s it.” his words were cold, but he couldn’t help it. committing to someone? it wasn’t his strong suit. hell, it scared him. and he just couldn’t admit that, not to her. “that’s what we agreed to.”

[poetsdeathbeds]

“ if you think i’m just going to let you speak to me this way, and not even look at me, you’re delusional. ” under the ‘ next door girl ’ act, delma has a fiery temper that has made countless victims. she follows him around the bedroom, trying to meet his eyes, still in her bra and panties. “ just because we agreed to just sex, it doesn’t mean you get to belittle me in any way. ” she won’t let anyone make her feel like an object, ever. “ and fine, we won’t have lunch together. ” she turns around and reaches for her top.

[poetsdeathbeds]

fourteenaway.

george grins a bit still strumming the tune lightly, though now it’s more just something to channel his energy into, “well that was a born given occupation, i chose to learn the ukulele. or rather someone who wasn’t of the ‘court’ taught it to me and i knew my father would hate it so i picked it up. it’s not exactly a talent befitting of a royal like say piano, but that’s part of the reason i prefer it. plus it includes a total misuse of desired talents like knowing french or singing in key, which would as you’d expect are far more appreciated in the context of a royal upbringing.” 

doing something just to annoy a parent, that’s something richard understands. he may not know a thing about the crown’s customs, or what it means to grow up with such a burden on your shoulders, but he’s familiar with rich despotic men. when he was younger, he used to take any chance he could to cause his father’s anger. “ so, you don’t like to be predictable. ” besides clear daddy issues, that’s what richard got of george’s little monologue. “ what else? ” he’s curious now, intrigued. “ what else they don’t approve of? ” richard can think of one thing, but it’s not his place to say it. that’s what annoyed his parents the most and he has a feeling that george can relate to his experience. 

[poetsdeathbeds]

caeruleums.

              it was a dumb arrest, that was for sure. and anyone with money and a semi-decent lawyer would’ve gotten community service. but walter had nothing; he came from nothing. no one in his life could give him anything, and constance was the one good thing he had going for him. he was constantly told how much better she was without him, but he thought what they had was real. coming out of prison, he realized that she had to move on from him. and it didn’t sit right with him, not when she was dating the kind of dude that they both used to make fun of. “nah, all lawyers are greedy. who is he even gonna be defending? shit people like the rich kids we used to make fun of? the justice system isn’t justice at all, babe. you of all people should know that.” he didn’t trust it, and he definitely didn’t trust her new boyfriend. “right, i did it to get your attention… and it worked, didn’t it? maybe you’re right, maybe i’ll go find lisa and see if she wants to reconnect.” scoffing, he began to eat the leftovers without really getting permission. he did it to piss her off, to push her back into the girl he thought he fell in love with. lisa didn’t matter to him, but constance did. her face was the one he thought of every single night, waiting to get out of the shithole he was put in. even if she was going to cook dinner, he could eat anything. “damn, he’s even made you a fuckin’ housewife, con. cooking and shit. kinda cute.”

ever since he has returned in constance’s life, walter has said the same things over and over again — so, each time, she pretends to be extremely annoyed, while the reality is a bit different. she knows he’s right. she has become everything they despised, her life is going in a direction that makes her feel awful more times than fine. she feels empty, like she’s just going with whatever others want for her. the idea of becoming a lawyer to help who can’t help themselves, that’s the only thing keeping constance going — but she’s aware of how crooked the system is, she’s not naive enough to think she’ll make a huge difference. “ and i know. but what’s the harm in trying to change things? if i have the power to do something right, even just one thing, why not do it? ” she’s serious, this is important to her, it’s not just about arguing with walter. “ and you always seem to forget, i am a rich kid, babe. it doesn’t matter that i’ve tried to pretend i wasn’t my whole life. i still have tons of privileges. ” that privilege she’s talking about could’ve helped him, if only her parents approved of her relationship with him. she doesn’t even realize, after years, that they had the power to do something but they chose to keep them apart. “ fuck you. ” he knows how to get under her skin, and she knows how to get under his, that’s why their dynamic is so dangerous — it could explode at any moment. she finishes the cleaning and moves to the counter, to start chopping. she’s now facing walter, who is eating the leftovers right in front of her, and the way she’s using the knife could be worrying. it’s obvious she's channeling her frustration into this. “ what, are you jealous? ” she looks at him for just a moment. “ you were never able to tame me. maybe, deep down, you want this. just a good girl caring about you, waiting for you at any time, praising you. does it burn, that he got this version of me that you never will? ” they had fun when they were together, never a dull moment, and constance wouldn’t change a thing, but she figured that underlying what he doesn’t have, that ethan has, could annoy him, even if slightly.

[poetsdeathbeds]

gvngsigns.

the whole idea of there being different meanings behind different types of flowers was new to him, but it made sense at the same time. he supposed he hadn’t really thought so thoroughly about it before, but now that she was exposing him to this new world, he wanted to do it right. vincent was certain she would help him with that, both the aesthetic and meaning aspect of the flowers. he followed her back to the counter, nodding slightly throughout the entire explanation with a faint smile on his face.  “ you know, i dig that reasoning a lot, actually. i’m just hoping i won’t forget what you just said on my way home. ”  he muttered, grinning slightly. he would love nothing more than to impress his mother with this newfound information. of course he would give the helpful florist all the credit, though.  “ d’you ever get, like, bouquets of flowers ? i mean, the thought of buying you flowers is kinda intimidating to me now. ”

she’s a bit of a control freak, always making sure things are done her way, so what she decides to do after the boy discloses his doubts is normal administration. “ i can’t let that happen! ” it’s a felt exclamation, it shows from the way she gestures and from her suddenly high pitched tone of voice. “ here. ” she takes a pastel pink note paper from a drawer under the counter and writes down, carefully and slowly, everything she has said earlier. andi has a good handwriting, her cursive is really pretty to look at, so he could even hand this to his mother with the flowers, instead of using it as a reminder. “ uh. i wrote it like it’s coming from you. ” the realisation hits, it's more of a dedication. “ well... use it however you like! what matters is that you don’t forget. ” at this point, her smile is not just being polite— she’s invested in this. “ oh, no. dear god, no. ” nobody has ever dared. “ it’s for the best, that nobody tried. i don’t think i’d be able to enjoy the flowers, i’d start judging the whole thing like i'm a teacher evaluating an essay. ” she elaborates, as she starts forming his bouquet.

[poetsdeathbeds]

fourteenaway.

george makes a face like it should be obvious and shrugs, “duh. you think i play la vie en rose on the ukulele for fun?” he questions before tilting his head to the side slightly, “okay i do, do that. but in this situation it is indeed a method of seduction, so just…,” he holds up his hand and rolls his eyes slightly. 

richard is not the romantic type, so he never knows how to react to blatantly romantic gestures. surely, he’s surprised by this one; men have tried to win him over in many different ways, but nobody has ever serenade him. “ that’s sweet. ” it’s hard to make him soften this much, the way he’s looking at george is tender and devoid of judgement, he’s surprised by his own reaction. “ you are. still hard to believe you’re prince of england. ” george is not how richard pictured royals, at all.

[indestructiblemind]

closed starter for @poetsdeathbeds​​

at times he’d catch himself gazing at the other, completely admiring what he had right in front of him to be a reminder of how lucky he was to have them. facing them in the bed now, he had the goofiest grin on his face while draping an arm over their body and pulling them closer. softly pressing a kiss to their cheek as the sun came shining in from the window. “good morning.” his voice had a groggy tone to it and it was slightly deeper than normal.

[poetsdeathbeds]

sierra feels like the blessed one in this relationship, she believes she’s lucky to have michael, extremely so. she should be aware of her value, of how beautiful, kind and sweet she can be, but nobody has ever told her any of this — not like he does. sierra has always felt so small, her mother being the main cause of it, and her insecurities used to completely immobilize her. some days, she couldn’t do anything, too busy overthinking and second guessing herself. it can still happen, obviously, but michael has been really good for her. “ hi. ” her eyes are closed but she’s smiling, enjoying the way he’s keeping her close. sierra knows, by feeling the sun on her skin, by his good morning kiss, that it’s going to be a good day. and this is what she would like to feel, everyday. “ slept well? ” she is looking at him now, not letting go of her smile for a second.

[poetsdeathbeds]

indestructiblemind.

part of her felt guilty for not giving benny everything he wanted. she was aware that the label of a relationship was more of his style but as much as she wished to take it that step with him. she was incredibly scared to seeing as it would entail her placing her heart on the line to get crushed and that is ultimately what is stopping her. very slowly she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hand caressing the back of his hair. sad thing is, he could easily make her rethink this entire casual relationship she preferred but admitting that probably wasn’t in the cards for her. “ it is the worst, actually. i want another kiss. ” she practically begged by pouting her lower lip.

benny has fallen in love with everyone he ever dated. entering any kind of relationship with him... well, it’s not for the light-hearted — it's intense. when talking about him, most people simply say he’s ‘ too much ’. he blames his venezuelan roots, sometimes, but he’s the only one in the family with this kind of heat inside his heart, this burning passion. “ i mean... ” she has her arms around his neck, as he puts his around her waist, clinging to her — trying to have her body as close as possible to his. he can’t resist her look, she could easily be mistaken for an angel in benny’s eyes. “ you just won’t take a no for an answer, will you? ” so he leans forward, before she has the time to reply, and kisses her again— gently, slowly, savoring every second of it.

[poetsdeathbeds]

rcsecolor.

the compliment made nora smile. it wasn’t the first time mirabelle praised her for her job. usually past clients have praised nora but with mirabelle, she took it to heart and it meant it more than anything. it was swooning really. “i don’t think im good at it per se. it just takes a lot of patience and nina takes a lot of it - nothing bad about it but i hope her new babysitter can keep up. i’ll make sure to write down everything before leaving. i want them to be prepared and know what they’re up against.”  truly she was sad to be leaving such an incredible kid, as well as the phenomenal woman in front of her. she chuckled softly at her comment. “now for me to be fair: im just implementing what nina has asked me.” she said. “i told her it didn’t work like that but you know, just cause im leaving doesn’t mean you and i can’t talk. it’s something to think about.” 

nora is right, nina is not an easy kid — not because she’s bad, she’s just very energic and curious, she needs to have everyone’s full attention at all times. mirabelle often wonders whose spark she inherited, surely she doesn’t have much in common with mirabelle herself— who is way more composed; even as a kid, she wasn’t high maintenance, at all. “ trust me, she knows. that’s why it took me so long to find your replacement, i needed to be sure she would be ready. ” no one can replace nora, as nina agrees, but that’s the technical term. “ so... you want to keep in touch? ” she feels so silly, asking this, but she wants things to be clear between them. she doesn’t want to chase a friendship, or more, if nora has no actual interest in her as mirabelle, instead of ‘nina’s mom’. 

[willafitz]

Guilty conscience?

[marvelladiesdaily]

[poetsdeathbeds]

cathcrtiic.

“I eat nice boys like colin for breakfast. he’d catch feelings for me and then i’d have to break his heart. no can do.” the idea of settling down and playing house made her throat close up. perhaps she had a deadly allergy to the idea. that would be a convenient excuse each time she had to let someone down gently. “there’s a difference between playing dungeons and dragons and actually being able to fight a dragon. think like….. jon snow or khal drogo. that’s the vibe we’re after here.” she debated clinging to the phone and causing some shit by swiping right but inevitably surrendered, though now her curiosity was piqued. “who is chris?” she shifted so that she was kneeling, trying to lean over and retrieve the phone or at the very least perv on chris a little longer. “have you already fucked chris?” she gasped dramatically. “do you work with chris? he’d absolutely slay a dragon.” 

millie and richard may be very different when it comes to careers, sense of humor and, generally, how others view them, but they have something in common, something big — an allergy to commitment, that is. richard doubts millie could get into a serious relationship anytime soon, and this whole ‘ dragon slayer ’ talk proves it; it often looks like she’s doesn’t want to grow up, and is trying to stay young and untamed forever, and richard gets it. he’ll be thirty-six soon and he lives alone, sometimes with a rommate, he has job that pays well but has nothing to use his money for, no family, not even a pet. he misses a purpose in life, drinks way too much on friday evenings and only sleeps around since sex is the one thing that makes him feel something, like any college guy ever. “ so, jon is the one who would play d&d and khal is the slayer? confused guy who has never seen game of thrones here. ” he shouldn’t remind millie this, she’s been trying to make richard start the show from ages. “ all i know about this show is that i look like one guy who dies in a horrific way. ” word of this twenty-something guy he fucked a few months ago. “ a jerk. ” he doesn't know to define chris in others words, who, yes, he has fucked and he has had over — multiple times. it’s strange for richie to see the same person more than once, in fear it could ever lead to an actual relationship, but chris was different. they were on the same page, neither of them looking for love — just enjoying each other’s company, like millie and richard do, but with an important addition: sex. “ not exactly. he’s the son of my boss. ” that, obviously, led to complications. “ and trust him, he wouldn’t. he’d be, like... what’s his name? the coward one? theo? ” millie should be proud, for someone who has never watched an episode he knows enough.

[poetsdeathbeds]

fourteenaway.

“ can a prince not play a ukulele as a method of seduction anymore? ” george complains despite having no evidence of a prince ever before seducing someone with a ukulele at any point in history. 

“ oh, so you’re trying to seduce me now? ” he looks smug. george’s transparency surely amuses him, along with his ukelele skills — not that richard could tell if they’re any good, all he knows is that his ears aren’t bleeding (not yet at least).