i write for every character listed on this list unless added later on :) fluff will be referenced with < ♡︎ >, angst will be referenced with < ☾ > and stories that are considered platonic will be referenced with < ☀︎︎ >
in which rafe cameron and y/n y/l/n learn that sometimes holding on is less healthy than letting go
taglist | masterlist | 1.08k words
trigger warning(s) | angst, too many metaphors to count oh my goodness
hello !!! i’m so sorry, i abandoned this account so fast when school started back up but i’m back to express my deep love for outer banks once more ! (and harry potter on my other account (potterstvff) but dw ab that…
The clock ticked back and forth in an aching tone within Y/n Y/l/n's ears. The girl lay on her bed with her head hanging off the foot of it, blood rushing to her head overtime as she'd taken a few breaks. She continuously watched that little orange line go round and round on the clock on the wall opposite of her, losing track of time. Time, oh how it hadn't been good to her these past few hours.
Beside her resided Rafe Cameron in the same position, eyes staring directly at the bland grey wall as he'd rather listen to himself talk in his head than think about all the other miniscule noises around him. Whilst the girl beside him focused on the noise of her family members walking around the house or the tree outside of her window scrape just over the surface of her window, he watched the wall as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. You know the saying 'I'd rather watch paint dry'? Well, Rafe was currently taking it to the extreme in attempt to ignore the underlying problem to which neither of them wanted to speak on.
Rafe and Y/n were the ultimate power couple. One that had slowly become estranged over time. Best friends of three years, dating for two. The thought of them being destructible was never a thought that had passed through either of their minds. They would prevail, they'd always say every time a problem overcame in attempts to knock them down like a gust of wind coming against a sandcastle.
But soon it became problem after problem after problem, private times spent behind closed doors had become screaming matches though, in public, they were perfect. They were perfect. It was all they'd heard the entirety of their relationship though it was only a matter of time before it blew up in their faces.
Perfection was a myth, they should've known that. Even with Rafe’s perfect pearly whites that made the sun cower from how bright they were and Y/n's perfectly colored eyes that were claimed to be colored by the Gods, they weren't perfect. Sure, on paper maybe. A paper that had been ripped up, stomped out, and lit on fire. Maybe on that paper they were perfect.
After their last fight only a matter of... an hour, thirty two minutes and fourty seven seconds ago, the two had taken the time to cool off. Rafe’s hair was blown in all sorts of directions from tugging at it and Y/n's face was a soft shade of red. They needed the time and as Rafe climbed on her bed, laying down upside down, she couldn't help but follow.
For that entire time they remained in silence, each trying to collect their own thoughts on one another. They'd both taken side glances at one another, Rafe’s eyes raking up and down her from her dangling earrings that swung gently down to her collarbone where a faint hickey resided from a day ago. He used to remember being so proud of his own markings, knowing that she was forever his and he, forever hers though now it all just seemed like a fantasy.
For Y/n, she'd eye him to see his cheeks slightly indenting from him biting at them, surely bleeding soon as he never knew when to stop. She remembered reminding him constantly not to do that, knowing he'd later complain about how much the rae skin hurt as he'd continued to fiddle with the sore. At any other point in the relationship she may have chuckled at the thought though, this time, all she could do was shake her head, looking back to the clock.
Perfection had a time limit, that much they knew. The second they'd started their relationship, the unspoken hourglass had flipped and only a few grains of sand remained. They knew the second the other spoke, there would no longer be a power couple but it also meant no more fights. And to Rafe, he decided it was better to just rip off the bandage that had been aching at the seams to have been removed. "It's over, isnt it?" He asked in a low tone, a whisper as if they were two people in a room of a thousand.
Y/n didn't want to reply but it was hard not to. The unbearable silence had only lasted five seconds but it still lingered upon her ears like a harp melody. "Yeah. Yeah it is." She said with a small sigh leaving her lips. "Only a matter of time, wasnt it?"
"We have to give ourselves credit for pushing on this long." He was able to joke as very minuscule laughs tumbled from their mouths. He looked over at her, the two finally making eye contact for the first time in an hour. "We tried. We really did."
"We did. You're right, have to give us credit." She said as she found his hand on the comforter below them. She brought the appendage to her lips, kissing his knuckles gently and squeezing. "It was fun for... for a little bit."
"Best and worst time of my life, Y/N/N." He said as she smiled. He leaned in, pressing his lips against hers for a final time as it was very short before leaning his head back again. "Guess we just... let it die right here. Right now."
"Right here, right now." She confirmed as he nodded. The two fell into silence again, Rafe finally letting the clock ticking consume him. "You think we could ever be friends? Like, just friends?"
Rafe hummed. He hadn't thought about that, not yet at least. "Not now." He answered as she clicked her teeth. "But eventually, maybe."
"And the heartbreak. Why are neither of us crying?" She asked, the two looking at the other again. "Not a single tear, probably the calmest we've been all day."
"Because it's over. And over for the best." He said. He knew it, she knew it. They were laying their relationship to rest at its grave, letting it go and draft away from them like a seashell on a shore. Their relationship lay broken into pieces, ones that they wouldn't try to put back together after sweeping some of them under the rug. They'd watched it die, burn, and combust right in front of them and they let it happen. They watched their relationship die right there; right now.
reader LIKED the fic? reader left thoughtful comment because they thought there was something worth analyzing? oh! oh! love for reader! love for reader for one thousand years!
in which wheezie cameron finds that blood doesn’t make you family, love and affection does.
taglist | masterlist | 2.5k words | @pogueslandia ,
warning(s): food, she/her pronouns, ward slander, a little sarah slander but that’d include reading between the lines. why’d this make me want to make a series of reader and Wheezie being best friends.
There's always been a heavy feeling of loneliness that rested upon the youngest cameron's shoulders, weighing her down as it seemed to pile over the years. Her siblings were always older, an age gap between them that even if it was shortened by a few years, their worlds would still be two different things. All three of them were in three different stages of life yet somehow it felt like Wheezie wasn't even there at times.
Throughout the entirety of her schooling career so far, everything had somehow been about Rafe and Sarah. Sarah was the perfect one; the paragon who could do no wrong. Even if Sarah tried to disobey, it'd be turned around to be made out as a minute mistake. She'd probably be able to get away with it a second time if she did it a different way. Maybe the same way.
Rafe was quite the opposite. The bastard child who needed a plentiful amount of attention in hopes he can be more like the paragon. With all this attention, his head only grew. It never gave him the space for growth. It minimized the space to stay exactly where he was for years on end.
This left Wheezie to be the ostracized sibling. She wasn't a social butterfly or a poster child like Sarah and she definitely wasn't a loner or the 'damaged goods' child like Rafe. She was just... average. With average grades and an average personality. Just average old Wheezie. She told herself this consistently, watching her father balance his attention between making sure Rafe stayed between the lines he'd drawn for him in a radius such as a dart board and allowing Sarah step out of them, even erasing some of the lines so she could walk on by them without a second thought.
But Wheezie was stuck in that tiny little circle in the middle, the bullseye as if scared to move out of those lines. The one place that was the hardest to pinpoint specifically by her father. But there was one thing Ward Cameron always said correct about his younger daughter. That he wouldn't be able to pin point his little dart of control into the middle of the board because she was misunderstood and misunderstood she was.
Though one person had been able to pick up on every single one of Wheezie's emotions.
Y/n Y/L/N was a pogue who had done tutoring on the side for a little extra money and when John B had recommended Y/n for help with Wheezie's homework, Ward was quick to say okay. He hardly even asked a thing about Y/n, just telling her to help Wheezie pass eighth grade and that was all. It was made very apparent to Y/n that was Wheezie was not as much of a priority to Ward as other things were.
Their first tutoring session, Wheezie was awfully dismissive. She didn't care for any of Y/n's efforts as they sat within the comfort of Wheezie's bedroom. She just wanted the entire hour to be over with the second she'd entered her room but Y/n was insistent, knowing that by the end of the school year she would have something instilled in Wheezie's brain. She just didn't know what that something was yet.
The second time they met, Y/n was more passive aggressive in hopes of breaking down the brick walls Wheezie had stored between her and everyone else in hopes of not disappointing them like the way she thought she'd disappointed her father. Y/n sat her down in her desk chair, swiveling her chair to her as she rested her hands on the younger girls shoulders. "You are going to have a really awkward couple of weeks if you and i don't become friends so no work today. We're playing 20 questions."
That night, Y/n learned a lot about Wheezie Cameron that she never thought she'd learned. Wheezie hated the color purple, she just painted her room that color because Sarah liked that color. Wheezie loved to paint and to draw, it was her favorite activity, she just rarely showed it bevause she hadn't believed in herself. Though, when she showed Y/n the canvas' that were shoved at the back of the closet, Y/n marveled at them. But Y/n's favorite fact, and the same one that almost made her hug Wheezie on the spot, was that she was never taught to swim and Y/n made her a promise that she would teach her.
As the weeks went by, Wheezie waiting anticipatingly for Y/n's beaten down, green ford bronco to pull up on the driveway and she'd leave the house with a giant smile on her face. It’d be early in the morning, a little less than an hour until school started, just like how Wheezie liked. She'd jump in the driver seat, embracing the smell of vanilla from the scented item hanging from the rear view mirror. She’d toss her bag to the back as Y/n would ruffle her hair, just like she had every morning. "And beloved was set in... late 1856!" Wheezie answered excitedly as Y/n drove down the final street towards her school after the two had gotten breakfast together.
"Perfect! You're gonna do so good on your test, Wheeze, I promise." Y/n told her ecstatically as she pulled into a parking space. Just before Wheezie could get out, Y/n held her upper arm just to gain her attention before she got out. "Tell Rose she doesn't have to get you after school. I'll leave school early and you and I are having a girls day. No studying, just me, you and a shit ton of sweets."
Wheezie smiled, she could feel the muscles in her jaw begin to hurt from how wide she had. She tilted her head to the side out of curiosity, eyeing the look of excitement on Y/n's face. "But why?"
Y/n shrugged, adjusting in her seat and fixing her rear view mirror. "Cause, you deserve it. I'm so proud of you, Little W." She told her, looking back towards the girl and seeing her smile slightly drop. "You okay?"
Wheezie couldn't remember a time where she was genuinely told that. Yeah, sure, Ward said it a few times but it'd be in a lousy tone before he'd wave her off, saying he was busy with whatever office work he had to attend to. Sarah may have said it a few times but it was rushed before she'd run after her friends with a quick goodbye to Wheeze, leaving her alone in the sand. It was never sincere. Not in the way Y/n had said it.
She rubbed her hands against her jean clad thighs with a sharp breath before nodding. “Yeah. I've just never really been told that before. Like—Like genuinely." She said, lowly, in hopes Y/n would understand and wouldn't push it.
Y/n had known Wheezie long enough to know her tells and avoiding eye contact was one of the biggest ones. So she didn't indulge further in the conversation, brushing it under the rug but knowing she'd have to go diving back in for that little tidbit later on. Instead she wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug from over the console. "I'll tell you i'm proud of you everyday if i have to." Y/n muttered before kissing the top of her head. "Now go, if you're late to first period, your dad will kill me." And Wheezie was able to leave the car with a smile on her face, already looking forward to the day planned later on.
Y/n was overall consistent, it was one thing Wheezie enjoyed knowing that when she made promises she tried to keep them as best as she could. Sometimes things slipped her mind but Wheezie could recognize that Y/n didn't forget a thing when it came to Wheezie. Like she made sure to engrave bits and pieces of her into her mind like a data chart. But it showed she cared and that was enough for Wheezie.
Y/n cared enough that when she entered her car after school, the smell of her favorite cinnabon's filled the car that made her look in the backseat, seeing a picnic basket. There wasn't a chance, right? You could only get them on the mainland. She turned her body swiftly towards the elder girl who sat with a smirk on her face. "You didn't?"
"I did. Second I left fourth period, got on a ferry just for you to have those overly sweet treats." Y/n said, tapping her nose with a 'boop'! "And I almost got stuck on the mainland because of it so you better enjoy the hell out of them."
"I will, I promise." Wheezie said dramatically as Y/n smiled, pulling out of the parking space to head down to the beach. Wheezie had said she didn't have a bathing suit, not prepared for the outing, though Y/n already said she had ransacked her room for clothes for after. Y/n was the only person allowed in Wheezie Cameron's room without Wheezie being there and the elder girl took pride in it.
As Y/n set up their small area for the few hours, she noticed Wheezie standing just where the water and the sand met. She kicked around the water with clear disinterest causing Y/n to huff, hands on her hips, before tossing off her hoodie to get in. The splash she'd made by pushing herself into the water made Wheezie jump, a laugh falling from the two's lips. "Come on." Y/n said, standing and holding her hands out to Wheezie.
"Y/n/n, I can't swim."
"Y/n/n I can't swim, well, obvi, i know that, little W. But, you have your amazing best friend to keep you afloat. I won't let you go, i swear." Y/n said, holding up her pinky.
"Swear?"
"On my life." She reassured with a trusting smile before Wheezie walked further in. When the water had gotten to her above her waist, it'd freaked her out a bit though Y/n talked her through it, coaxing her further in slowly. Wheezie was kept above the water as Y/n held her hands as the buoyancy was used to their advantage. "See, not as bad as you thought?"
Wheezie shook her head though still nervous. "Not as bad, not my thing though."
"Why don't we try actually swimming? I won't force you if you don't want to and we can get back to shore right now but maybe just try?" She asked as Wheezie had to think about it for a moment. She almost felt guilty, remembing just a few months ago when Sarah had asked her if she could teach her but she refused. Though maybe, just maybe, it was because of Y/n being a bit more trust worthy that Wheezie said yes this time.
It took a while, Wheezie was frightened by letting go even as Y/n would say she was okay. Wheezie would tighten her grip on her shoulders before trying again and again until she eventually got it. She finally was able to keep herself above the water without flailing, recognizing that she was okay. Y/n cheered as she watched, not caring for the stares of others around them. "See, dude? You just have to start applying yourself! You did it!"
"I did it!" Wheezie said as Y/n hugged her, the two laughing before Wheezie screamed making Y/n's laughter die fast. "Something touched me!"
"Wheeze, it was seaweed." Y/n said softly before turning and letting her place her hands on her shoulders. "Yeah let's get you out of here before a jellyfish gets you."
Wheezie widened her eyes. "Jellyfish?"
As the sun had began to set and people had packed up their things and left, Y/n and Wheezie stayed. Wheezie was on her fourth doughy treat, even though Y/n told her to slow down two treats ago. Towels were wrapped around each of their shoulders as they watched the pretty colors fade in to one another, a mixture of pink, blue and orange array of colors combining to make a cotton candy sky. Wheezie watched as Y/n got up, accepting a phone call from Ward, the only phone call she hadn't silenced since they'd left the car.
In the time she'd left, Wheezie took advantage of it to recognize how appreciative she was of all that Y/n was doing for her. She came in as a tutor and, to Wheezie, was to stay as a friend. As family. Wheezie was more then ecstatic to have someone who would be there to rant and rave about the other Cameron's, someone she could trust with her secrets and the contents of her always running brain. Someone who was just there.
"Hey, your father would like us back in thirty so we should leave in ten." She said coming back and sitting beside Wheezie as she caught sight of her face, the lack of the smile that was there previously concerning her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing, really. Just... I really enjoyed today, Y/n. It really lets me know you're not just here for like... like the money or something."
Y/n let out a scoff. "Are you kidding? I enjoy nothing more than watching you freak out over the existence of jellyfish." She joked as Wheezie pushed her to the side with a laugh. Y/n recovered, letting out a content sigh as she tossed an arm over Wheezie's shoulders. "You're stuck with me now, Wheezes. Can't wait to record you falling at your next soccer game."
Wheezie couldn't help the laugh that slipped past her lips, leaning into Y/n's embrace as her head rested against her clavicle. "And I'll be looking for you in the stands, Y/n/n."
Y/n and Wheezie had both found out something about the other that night. Wheezie found that she didn't want to be like Sarah and she was glad she wasn't like Rafe. She was content with her own little circle on the dart board but maybe she could take a bit after her newest role model. And Y/n found that she was able to instill several things into the youngers mind including To Kill a Mockingbird, Inca Civilizations, and that she now had a true and present big sister to look up to.
Summery: “When I think about rain, I think about singing. When I think about singing, it's a heavenly tune. When I think about heaven then, I think about angels. When I think about angels, I think about you.”— When I Think About Angels, Jamie O’Neil.
Word count: 803
Warnings: none, just fluff.
A/N: it’s short and sweet.
Sitting in the small coffee shop on the island, I stir the sugar into my coffee, noting how the color of my drink perfectly matched my boyfriend’s beautiful brown eyes. I smiled and bit down on my lips, thoughts of the curly, brown haired boy ran through my mind.
Bringing the white, glass cup filled with coffee to my lips, I took a sip. The sugary taste from the sweetener lingered on my lips, reminding me of how sweet John B’s kisses were, and how they also lingered on my lips. That boy truly did always start a chain reaction of thoughts in my mind, everything reminded me of him.
After I had finished my coffee and breakfast, I walked out of the coffee shop into the pouring rain. I smiled up at the sky, feeling the rain against my skin. Rain always made me think if the song I’m Singing in The Rain, which always caused me to think of singing, and then I’d find myself humming the song. As I hummed and began my walk to John B’s house, I noticed how heavenly the tune sounded. Then I began to think of Heaven, the images of angels floating around in my head, and of course the images of angels made me think of John B. I’d put money on it that that boy was secretly an angel and just never told anyone.
I waved at strangers as I passed them on the streets, noticing how even though they didn’t look like him, they’re kindness reminded me of John B. “Goodness,” I whispered under my breath. “I can’t ever seem to get this boy off my mind.”
The wind whipped my hair around a bit, and I swore I heard John B calling out my name, but I knew it was just the way the wind sounded in my ears.
Then the sun began to peek out behind the clouds as I got closer to John B’s house, the warmness of it hitting my skin, reminding me of his touch.
I giggled as I ran up to the porch of John B’s house, finding him sitting on the couch. “Hello,” I said and sat next to him.
He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into him embrace. He planted a kiss on my lips, releasing a field of butterflies in my stomach. “Hello.”
My heart fluttered at his voice. “How’d you sleep last night?”
He shrugged. “Alright. Would’ve been better with you.”
I playfully rolled my eyes. “I would’ve stayed, but I had to study for that test.”
“Yeah, yeah, the test.” He pulled me into his lap so that I was straddling him.
“I’m guessing you studied for it, too?” I raised my brows at him in question.
“Sure did,” he said in an unconvincing tone.
I scoffed. “No you didn’t.”
He began to shake his head. “Yeah, I didn’t.”
Letting out a giggle, I lean forward and kissed his jaw. “You’re impossible, John B Routledge, you know that, right?”
“It’s not my fault,” he said in a hushed tone as I pulled away to look at him. “Just couldn’t stop thinking of you.”
A smile made its way to my lips as a blush rose to my cheeks. “How ironic.”
“Why’s that?” He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my hair and then cupped my cheek.
“Because, that’s exactly how I’ve been all morning, can’t stop thinking of you?”
He smiled, too, now. “Really?”
Nodding, I hummed. “Mhm. Everything’s reminded me of you today, even my coffee.”
An airy laugh passed his lips. “You’re adorable, you know.”
Leaning onto his chest, I rest my head in the crook of his neck. “You remind me only everyday.”
His arms wound around my waist, pulling me flush against him. “It’s my job.”
I nodded, my nose brushing against his skin, and I could feel the goosebumps rising on his skin as I did so. “I suppose.” I reached my arms up and wound them around his neck, my eyes feeling heavy, despite the coffee I just drank. I could stay like this in his arms forever.
“You going to sleep on me?” John B asked after a few moments.
Sighing in content, I said, “Maybe. I’m tired, and I was up all night studying, and that coffee I had earlier didn’t do anything to help wake me up.”
One of his hands found its way into my hair, massaging my scalp gently, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Love you, John B,” I said, barely above a whisper.
I could feel him smile against my temple as he placed a kiss there. “Love you, too.”
A few moments passed, and then a question popped into my mind. “Hey, John B?”
rafe was unknowingly staring into the void as another disney played on the television.
tommy was laying on his chest and you were curled up on his side as he mindlessly played with your hair.
he doesn't know how he got here. but it gave him something to think about.
rafe has never thought of having someone to love him. he was so blinded by the yearning of his father’s praise that he forgot that there is someone out there made for him to love and to love him.
he wanted one, but he was given two, and he would never complain about that.
“daddy?” tommy hesitated, peeking through the wall. “why are you crying?”
rafe sniffed, his heart breaking even more. he opened his arms as he gestured for him to come over. “i-i’m okay, bud. don’t worry,”
tommy didn’t believe him. he furrowed his eyebrows as he placed his hands on rafe’s face. “what’s wrong, dad?”
“tommy,” rafe sighed, looking up at the ceiling to prevent any more tears from falling. “you- you do know that i’m not your father, right?”
“what?” tommy cocked his head to his side, confused at rafe’s words. “yes you are, you’re my dad.”
“no, no i’m not.” he let out a shaky breath. “the man from earlier, his name is james, and he’s your real father. i’m just your father figure, tommy.”
“no!” tommy exclaimed, his voice breaking at rafe’s words. “stop saying that, rafey. you’re my dad.”
“you’re my dad…” he blinked the tears away, throwing his arms around rafe.
you and rafe exchanged looks, and you gave rafe a reassuring nod. “yeah, i- i’m your dad.”
you both knew that you would need to have this talk again soon, but for now, you’ll have to live in the moment, even if it’s just for a moment.
tommy was already asleep against his chest when he snapped out of his thoughts. he sighed quietly and looked over at you and planted a kiss on the side of your head.
“was- was it how you always thought it would be?” you whispered, looking away from the television.
“which one?” rafe asked.
you shrugged. “us… or how you had your future planned out but you got stuck with us instead.”
your tone was playful but the both of you knew that you had a second meaning behind that question.
“no,” rafe answered. “but it’s way better than how i thought it would be.”
he hesitated for a moment. “y/n…”
“yeah?” you smiled softly at him, something that never failed to make him at ease. the flickering lights of the movie reflected against your face, you were wearing some sleeping shorts and one of his shirts but rafe couldn’t help but fall a little more in love with you.
it was the right moment.
“will you marry me?” rafe whispered. “i- i didn’t plan it this way. i had a reservation planned on that bistro we went to on our first date, i ordered that dress you’ve been eyeing for weeks now, and the ring is upstairs, tommy and i picked it out last week and-“
you shut him up with a kiss, careful not to wake the sleeping tommy on his chest. “yes, rafe. i’ll marry you.”
the both of you let out a teary laugh, making tommy stir from his sleep. “what’s happening?”
“i asked her, tommy,” rafe grinned. “she said yes.”
“yes to what?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.
“i’m gonna marry your mom.”
magically, those five words effectively eliminated any trace of sleepiness from his body. “what? but we had a plan, daddy! i thought we had to follow our blueprint?”
“you have a blueprint?” you laughed.
rafe playfully rolled his eyes at you and cupped his hands over tommy’s ears to whisper something.
you raised your eyebrows at the two of them when tommy suddenly leaped away from the couch and ran down the hallway.
“hey! be careful, tommy.”
“oops, sorry mom.”
you shot rafe a questionable look, and was about to ask him what he was planning when tommy came back fast-walking, humming the wedding tune as he held a red velvet box in his hands.
“thank you, tommy.” rafe smiled, bringing the boy back to his lap.
“y/n l/n, will you, again, give me the honors of being your husband?” he asked, opening the box to showcase the beautiful ring your two favorite boys picked out.
“yes, you sap.” you laughed, biting your lip to contain the huge smile that threatened to grow as he slipped the ring on your finger.
“you may now kiss the bride!” tommy clapped.
“can’t disappoint the little guy,” rafe shrugged, pulling you in for a sweet kiss.
tommy blinked at the both of you as you continued to kiss, expecting the both of you to pull away. but as soon as three more seconds passed, he grabbed rafe’s arm and pulled him away. “okay, that’s enough smooches.”
you laughed, grabbing tommy and hugging him. “how do you feel about all this, tommy?”
“i feel very happy,” he smiled, looking over at you and rafe. “it means that rafey would be like my real dad now because he’ll marry you.”
you smiled, kissing him on the cheek before turning your gaze back at your fiancé. “what did you bribe tommy with to keep this a secret?”
he let out a gasp in mock offense. “how dare you think i’d have to bribe him with something to listen to me.”
you shot him an unamused look.
“he bought me three flavors of ice cream.” tommy whispered in your ear, but it was loud enough for rafe to hear.
For @ginghampearlsnsweattea (sorry the tag won't work), see request here
Pairing: Pope Heyward × Reader
Summary: Pope gets some advice from Y/N on what to do now that he's a rich man, while also trying to figure out how to tell her that he has feelings for her. (AU where the Pogues got the cross and some of the gold don't ask me how, I skipped that part)
Warnings: Just some swear words
Word Count: 2.8k
A/N: I think the violent heterosexuality of OBX affects my writing, because I write gender neutral readers for everything else but for my OBX fics the reader always ends up female (but I only used she/her pronouns 4 times and they're all contained within 3 consecutive lines of dialogue, so they're pretty easy to ignore). This is the first fic I've finished since my bout of writer's block and it's not my finest work but I'm still happy with it, I hope you are too ❤
“So what are you gonna do with it?” You asked, staring down at the five-foot gold cross sitting on the floor of John B's house.
“I haven’t exactly decided yet.” Pope replied, arms crossed over his chest where he stood beside you. “I think maybe John B was right and I should put it in a museum.”
“Can you get paid for the things you put in museums?”
“I don’t know. Not if it’s a donation, but maybe I could sell it to a museum? Not for what it’s actually worth because that would be insane but, like, for a good chunk I’d hope.”
“And then what are you gonna do with the money?”
“Well, I agreed to a five way split with the Pogues; six ways now that Cleo’s involved.” He explained. “But with my share... I’m not sure. Something good.”
“Of course.” You smiled fondly. Pope would only ever want to do something good.
It was unclear what you and Pope had between you, and it had been for a long time. You weren’t in his circle of friends and he wasn’t in yours, but there wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t talk or text. You smiled and said hi when you passed each other in the halls at school, you sat next to each other in English and French. Your dads were friends and work associates, so you had known each other for basically your entire lives. You had keys to each other’s front doors, clothes and toothbrushes in each other’s houses, and you shared practically everything that was shareable.
All of your friends knew that you had a crush on Pope, though none of them understood why. You’d had a crush on Pope for about as long as he’d had a crush on Kiara, and you were good at pretending that it didn’t sting. But he had told you about everything that had happened between them, that she didn’t feel the same way about him, and suddenly it felt like things had shifted between you a little. You figured that you were just imagining it.
Even before that though, there had been a change in your friendship. Something unspoken in the way that you interacted that you had no idea what the cause for was. Pope was a strange guy most of the time anyway, you were absolutely hopeless at figuring out what this particular type of strange was all about. So you just went on as usual.
“Well I have to say, your disappearance was definitely a cause for concern, but I suppose if this is the result then the stress was probably worth it.”
“You were stressed?” Pope asked teasingly, and you rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, dumbass, I was stressed. You dropped off the face of the earth for, like, two weeks.” You huffed. “And with this too.” You gestured at the cross on the floor. You saw Pope’s smile turn into a grin, and you quirked your eyebrow curiously.
“I haven’t shown you everything yet.” He said, stepping over the cross and starting down the hallway to the bedrooms.
“What else could there possibly be to show me?” You asked, following after him. When you stepped over the threshold of John B's bedroom, you faltered at the sight of three big green lockboxes on the floor beside the bed. “What is that?”
“Alright, well, it’s nowhere near all of what there was, but...” He pushed off the lid of one of the boxes, and your jaw dropped at the shine of gold inside. “We got a little bit of it back.”
“Holy shit, Pope! Why didn’t you tell me this immediately!?” You exclaimed, rushing forwards to get a closer look. “How much is this?”
“I don’t know, we haven’t done the math on it yet.” He shrugged, watching you with a smile as you picked up a bar of gold and spun it in your fingers. “What do you think I should do with my share of this?”
“Invest it.” You replied with a firm nod. “Turn it into assets, let it make you more money. Then you can put that money into something else, another good thing. You know, once you’ve done the mandatory spending of, like, college and a house. Can I have one of these?” You asked, staring down at the shiny bar in your hand. When you looked back up at Pope he was grinning at you. “What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head with a chuckle.
You heard the front door open and the voices of people coming into the house, and you set the bar of gold back down in the box.
“Pope! You still here bro!?” You heard JJ call.
“Yeah, we're in John B’s room!” Pope called back. You listened with an amused smile as footsteps and chattering voices came down the hallway towards you, and John B and JJ appeared at the door.
“Sup, Y/N.” John B greeted, and JJ gave you a friendly salute.
“How’d it go?” Pope asked.
“Uh, it went.” John B replied.
“Sarah’s gonna stay with some Kook family, Cleo’s good – she’s an illegal immigrant so the state doesn’t know that she exists – and I’ve got you. But John B still hasn’t got a legal guardian.” JJ explained to Pope.
“Threatened with foster care again.” John B sighed.
“I could ask my parents if they’d take you.” You offered, and all three boys turned to look at you in shock. “What? I know you actually plan on just staying here anyway. It’d just be paperwork and a performance, I’m pretty sure my parents would be down for that.”
“That would be awesome.” John B sputtered with a nod, and you laughed.
“Okay, I’ll ask them when I get home.”
“I take it Kie's on lockdown?” Pope asked, and JJ nodded.
“Oh yeah, big time.” He replied. “Sarah and Cleo are out back though.”
“Oh, I wanna meet Cleo!” You exclaimed happily. “She sounds awesome from what Pope’s told me.” You pushed through the door past JJ and John B, hurrying to the back door.
The two of them watched you disappear down the hallway before turning back to Pope.
“You gotta tell her, man.” John B said, and Pope rolled his eyes with a huff. “She so obviously likes you.”
“Stop it. She’s been my best friend since we were literally in diapers.” He said.
“Yeah, and she’s put up with your weirdness all that time. Only explanation for that is love.” JJ argued. Pope scoffed, moving past them to make his way to the kitchen to grab a drink.
What was he supposed to say? That he was basically in love with you? That he probably had been for years but didn’t realise it because he was so focused on his crush on Kiara? How was he supposed to tell you that without sounding like a dick?
The boys all sat down in the living room around the cross, spit-balling ideas on what they should do with it while they figured out what to do with it. They agreed that they couldn’t just leave it on John B’s living room floor, but they also didn’t know where to put it.
“Just keep it simple, man. Cover it with a blanket and push it under the bed.” JJ suggested.
“And then what if someone comes snooping while nobody’s here?” Pope argued. “Even if John B gets a legal guardian who let’s him stay here, he can’t be here all the time or DCS will pick up on it.”
“But where the hell can we put it that’s safer? As well as moving it without being seen?” John B questioned. All three of them fell silent, letting out simultaneous sighs.
“Let’s pick this conversation up later.” Pope grumbled, running a hand over his face.
“Pope! I know what you can do with the money!” You yelled, coming running into the house. “It’s such a good idea, I know you’re gonna like it.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“A scholarship fund.” You stated with a grin. When no response came, you put your hands on your hips with a frown. “Are you kidding? No reaction? Dude, this is perfect for you!” He shrugged, and your face dropped in genuine concern. “What’s wrong?”
“We’re just struggling to make a plan.” John B supplied.
“The logistics of hiding a massive, diamond encrusted, gold cross are proving a little difficult to figure out.” Pope added.
“It can’t be left out for someone to find but we have to be able to move it without being suspicious.” JJ finished.
“What about the cellar at Heyward’s?” You suggested after a moment of thought. “Nobody would blink twice at his son carrying some stuff down there, they’d just assume it was a shipment of something. And your dad never even goes in that back corner, right? It's just empty crates and things.” There was a short silence.
“That’s... actually genius.” Pope nodded, and you smiled sweetly. “We could move it in after the deliveries come on Friday, make it look like it’s just a late shipment.”
“I can bring my dad’s truck. Put it on a pallet and cover it with a tarp, nobody would look twice at you getting that off the back.” You continued, the boys nodding along.
“Yeah, you run shit back and forth from Heyward’s for your dad all the time.” JJ agreed. They were smiling now; you had presented the perfect solution. “You’re good at this. Why are you so good at this?”
“I’m smart.” You shrugged. “And not everything my dad brings in is strictly legal, so I know how to hide things.”
“Wait, woah, your dad’s a smuggler? How did I not know this? What’s he smuggling?”
“None of your business, JJ.” You laughed. “Anyway, Pope, do you wanna hear about my scholarship fund idea now?”
You were interrupted by your phone ringing in your back pocket and you fumbled to answer it. It was your dad telling you to come home.
“Okay dad, I’m leaving now.” You said, snapping your fingers at Pope and gesturing for him to get up. “Yeah, I'll drop Pope at home first. Also, I have something I need to discuss with you when I get home, can I ask you both to be open-minded?”
The boys watched you curiously, the silence in the room stretching as your dad replied. You started in surprise.
“How did you know?” You asked, and the three of them straightened up in shock. “He wouldn’t be trouble, promise... okay, you know, let’s continue this when I get home? Alright, see you soon.” You hung up and looked around the boys, giving a shrug.
“Does that mean my prospects are good or bad?” John B asked.
“Not sure. I think good.” You answered. “Pope, let’s go. Your dad’s expecting you, I get in trouble if you’re late. John B, do you have a phone yet?”
“Nope, can’t afford one.”
“Ironic. JJ, I have your number. I assume you’ll be here?”
“Yes ma’am.” JJ saluted.
“Great, I’ll text you the result of the discussion with my parents.” You smiled. You said your goodbyes and left out the back door to say goodbye to Sarah and Cleo too. You and Pope climbed into your dad’s truck and headed off home.
Since Pope ditched his dad’s truck in Charleston – it had been a bitch to get back to the OBX, and incredibly expensive – he was officially banned from driving it, as well as Heyward’s boat. That made you his ride, and your dad had given you a very extensive warning before handing over his keys.
You had a CD in the player, the volume turned high, and you drummed along on the steering wheel as you drove. You didn’t notice Pope watching with an endeared smile, didn’t know that he was thinking about how much he liked you and how the hell he was going to tell you that.
“What was that scholarship fund idea you had?” He asked.
“Huh?” You hummed, turning the music down to hear him better.
“The scholarship fund, tell me about it.”
“Oh! Okay, well, I was talking to Sarah and Cleo about what they were gonna do with their share of the money. Cleo was joking about all of the luxury things she would get herself but eventually she conceded that she wanted to open up an orphanage back in the Bahamas. Sarah said she was undecided, they told me about how Kie wanted to fund renewable energy ventures and initiatives to clean the ocean, and I was just thinking about what kind of thing you were invested in.” You explained, mouth moving a mile a minute.
“I figured a scholarship fund would be perfect, what with everything you went through trying to get yours and then losing it and what all of that meant for you and your family. It would create more opportunities for disenfranchised kids, give something to people who deserve an opportunity but need a leg up to get there, like you. You could name it after Denmark Tanny.”
Pope stared at you, dumbstruck, his head shaking lightly in disbelief. Your eyes flicked between him and the road and you laughed awkwardly.
“What?” You asked.
“You’re... amazing.” He breathed. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, smile still on your face. “I mean it, you... you came up with that idea for me?”
“Yeah, I mean, you want to do something good. I wanna help.” You parked the truck across the street from Pope’s house and leaned back in your seat with a sigh. “This is your stop.”
“Um, Y/N... I have something I wanted to tell you.” Pope mumbled
“What is it?”
“So, uh, I think you’re awesome. You’ve been my support system for literally our entire lives and especially recently. I mean, you came up with the idea to hide the cross, you offered to try and get your parents to take in John B even though you guys aren’t that close. With getting the gold and the cross, my head’s kind if been spinning but I figured, well I realised, I’ve kind of been pushing it away but-"
“Pope, you’re rambling.” You interrupted, grabbing his shoulder to get him to stop and calm down. “Make your point.” He took a deep breath and nodded.
“I really like you, Y/N.” He said softly. “The idea of coming into all of this money sends me reeling but... you pull it back into perspective for me. You understand things practically, you explain them logically, you keep me grounded. You always have.”
You blinked.
“What- what do you mean?” you stuttered.
“I thought- I always thought that you were just my best friend, and I’ve had a crush on Kiara for literal years but... after everything that’s happened, I realised that you’ve always been there for me and I don’t know why I didn’t realise how much that meant to me sooner. I think I just got caught up in the idea of liking Kiara that I completely just ignored everything else that my heart was telling me, but it was trying to tell me that I like you. As more than just a best friend. And I have for years, I was just too stupid to notice when my feelings changed. But I don’t want to ruin things between us if you don’t-”
You cut him off by surging forwards and pressing your lips to his, and you smiled into it when you heard the startled noise that Pope made.
“You were rambling again.” You said quietly as you pulled back. Pope huffed a surprised laugh. “I think I got the gist of it though, and I really like you too.”
“Wow, okay, cool. That’s good to know.” Pope sputtered. “Glad I didn’t fuck things up between us.”
“You could never. Now go before your dad crucifies me.”
“One more thing and then I’ll go.” He smiled, and you raised your eyebrows inquisitively. “You’ll help me out with all this treasure stuff, right? Because before we had it the idea of being rich was really exciting, but now that we’ve actually got it and we have to figure out how to actually handle it all, I’m really freaking out.”
“Of course I’ll help.” You chuckled. “I’m very much still excited about the idea of being rich, and I will be rich because what’s yours is mine and always will be.”
“Obviously.” Pope laughed too.
“What was it you kept saying this summer? Full Kook?”
“Full Kook.” He nodded. “Thanks, Y/N.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and began to open the door, but you quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back in for another kiss. This one was better because Pope was less shocked by it.
“I have been waiting a very long time to be able to do that.” You grinned. “Okay, see at school tomorrow.”
“Okay, see ya.” He smiled, and hopped out of the truck. “You’re the best.”
“I know.”
You watched him all the way to his house, and he turned to wave goodbye as he stepped in the front door, a huge smile on both of your faces.
summary: Struggling with a big part of your identity isn't easy. Luckily Pope is by your side while you figure things out, even if it takes more time than expected. 4 times you acknowledged your feelings for Kie, + the 1 time you admitted them. WC 4.9K
warnings: internalized homophobia, underage drinking, implied sex, things get slightly heated but no smut, fluff, language? maybe
pairing: kiara x f!reader
a/n: let's pretend pope isn't in love with kie because i love him and i refuse to break his heart. this fic comes close to home, i actually cried writing it LOL. in my opinion its my best work. feedback is appreciated, hope you enjoy <3 (there are no szn 3 spoilers included!!!)
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You were young when you first admitted, out loud, that you were definitely not straight. Although it was completely on accident, you were quickly washed over with a sense of relief when Pope was the victim of your confession, and not someone else. It was something that you held so deeply inside of you, that the confession itself felt like a breath of fresh air. You could finally breathe, the weight lifted off of your shoulders as it disappeared into the night. Pope, of course, showered you with support, embracing your body as tears suddenly poured from your eyes. It might've gotten rid of a large burden, but that didn't mean that it wasn't any less terrifying.
Many years of your life were a lie, and acceptance wasn't easy. It wasn't your friends that you were nervous about. It was yourself. The pogues were the most selfless people you ever met, but the very idea ate you up inside. You couldn't ignore the guilty feeling that settled into your stomach and crept up into your throat when your family asked if you had a boyfriend. Or the way your mind subconsciously drifted off to Kie, and how much she had grown over the years. How her brown curls seemingly soaked up the summer sun and glistened as it fell beneath the horizon. How could you ever be truly happy if you couldn't be happy with yourself?
1.
The beach during nighttime was an entirely different experience. The sun could no longer beat down on your skin, and there was no need for sunglasses to shade your eyes. The air was evidently cooler than during the early hours of the day, which left you clad in a favorite sweatshirt to keep yourself comfortable. If you were honest, you preferred it this way. It was a pleasant change from the constant heat and you were thankful for that.
You were also thankful for the change of scenery. As much as they denied it, boneyard parties allowed your friends to kick back and relax. As well as distract themselves from the constant chaos they seemingly put themselves through. You swore you had never seen John B so content.
Before you could recognize the smile that unknowingly etched itself upon your face, JJ had lazily thrown his arm around your shoulders. You quickly eyed Pope beside you, sending him a playful eyeroll as you turned over to the blonde. Typical JJ. "May I help you, Mr. Maybank?"
He smiled, shifting his head up to scan the beach. "No, but I'm here to help you." He pointed his finger at you, with eyebrows raised and you suddenly understood what he was implying. He brought his beer bottle up to his lips and shrugged off Pope's reaction.
"Oh, here we go again," Pope sighed, as his hands covered his eyes.
"What? Plenty of tourons for our dear Y/N."
It was apparent then, that as you scanned your surroundings you weren't looking for anyone but Kie. In the sea of heads none of them compared to the natural beauty that she held in her finger alone. But for once, JJ was right.
"I promise you I can fish my own tourons, JJ," you resorted to, eyes not leaving the growing crowd. It really wasn't a bad idea. If you had picked up anyone, surely you would never see them again. But for some odd reason you felt so guilty.
"What about," JJ started, dragging out his syllables while he dramatically surveyed the groups around you. "Him." The blonde's long pointer finger was directed at a tall brunette standing across the sand. He stood confidently, and extremely close to the sea water as it collapsed in and out onto the land. Unfortunately for you, it seemed he was already aware of your presence, eyes boring onto your own. It made you wonder how long he had ridiculously stared into your soul before you had the chance to notice. It was quite humorous if anything.
A laugh escaped from your lips, not giving you a chance to hold it back. "Absolutely not."
Pope shifted beside you, and you had almost forgotten he had known of your secret this entire time. You felt as if the uncomfortable shift was a signal, somehow subconsciously alerting you it may be time to tell someone else. There was no way JJ would judge you. If anything he would be ecstatic, finally having someone else to talk about girls with.
Instead, you wrapped your fingers around JJ's sun-kissed wrist and carefully turned it over to a pretty girl standing with who you assumed could only be her friends. "I think she would be a better candidate."
You watched as his features changed from bemusement to a soft smirk that stretched from ear to ear. His head quickly turn over to meet your amused glance, as if you would have disappeared from your seat if he wasn't fast enough. He only smiled, growing by the second, and you could feel Pope's warm hand ghosting over yours. A way to show he was proud, without verbally confessing so. If you were a sap, tears would surely be flowing from your eyes by now.
"You never told me," JJ stated, muffled, as he had since leaned you further into his muscular chest.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm telling you now though, that's what counts right?"
The blonde laughed, and you felt it rumble through his chest and vibrate onto your own body. There was nothing so great as the feeling of acceptance. "Wait, Pope knows too right?"
Pope playfully scoffs at his friends obliviousness. "Yes, I knew."
"Wait, so does-"
"No, just you and Pope. Although I'm sure Sarah and JB have their suspicions," you graciously cut him off, suddenly recoiling at the burst of this bubble the three of you had created. If more people knew, where would that leave you? How could you be yourself when such a large part of your identity would be common knowledge across the island? More importantly, why did it bother you so much?
Both boys seemed to have noticed the fall in your expression, as they both jumped to comfort you.
"I hope you know how much we all love you. I doubt very much that their idea of you would change," Pope said.
"For real, you're still the same person you were five minutes ago." The blonde shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manor. That alone was enough to ease some of the anxiously driven butterflies aggressively flapping around in your abdomen. It was sweet, and everything you needed to hear. Oh how foolish you had been to be cautious around your family. With so much love in their eyes you felt as though you were at home. They were all you ever needed.
"You guys are going soft on me," you tease.
Kiara was still a no-show. You wondered if she had been here the entire time, and you just missed her. But as the time grew on, and the alcohol settled into your veins, she was the only person you were truly looking for. Within the crowd of faces, most familiar, a pretty one stuck out the most to you. From where you were standing, her hair color was questionable, and due to the lack of lighting, there was no way to tell for sure. A smile had stretched on her lips, a pleasant one. Her teeth were perfectly shaped and blissfully white as they presented themselves to you. And you could only reciprocate the gesture.
She gracefully made her way before you, her frame only a couple inches shorter than your own. Her eyes were a deep hazel, like coffee mixed only with a few pours of milk. She was very pretty, you wouldn't deny that. Her features were something ethereal, unlike any other girl you had ever seen. Her name was forgotten shortly after she had graciously given it to you, because she wasn't Kiara. The guilt in your gut only grew more intense the more you compared her to your friend. The one who had seemingly found a seat next to Pope after all this time of her being absent.
You didn't miss the look she was giving you either. Not when she scanned the petite girl who was closely tucked into your chest. Not when you leaned down to hear her since she was so soft spoken, her warm breath fanning over your ear. And certainly not when she watched her tug you away from the boneyard, smaller hand interlocked with yours. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know Kiara wasn't happy.
You surely didn't forget about it. Not when your hands roamed softly up the unnamed girl's body and unclasped her lacy undergarments. Not when sweet nothings and desperate whimpers left her soft, plump lips. And not when she departed after placing a kiss upon your cheek, hips swaying as her figure grew smaller with distance.
Guilt had never become so familiar.
2.
The sun had only just risen, leaving an eerie glow to haze over the chateau and it's surrounding area. Amber oranges and crisp yellows pleasantly clouded the skies, slowly whisking away as the sun was given a chance to completely make an appearance. You weren't typically a morning person, but the sunrises in the Outer Banks were worth waking up for. Along with the fact you hadn't slept since the encounter. What the hell was wrong with you? It wasn't the first time you brought a girl home. It wasn't JJ or Pope who made you feel shameful either, it was the face Kiara had made that seemingly haunted your brain since you had left the beach altogether. Now as you sat comfortably in a beach chair in John B's backyard, Kiara was yet again all you could think about.
"You're here early." A raspy voice interrupted you from your current train of thought. Sarah stood lazily against the door frame, blanket wrapped around her torso like a cape. The blonde held eye contact before attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes, remaining unsuccessful. You were sure the eyebags under your own eyes were unattractive enough. If she noticed, she didn't say. Instead she sat down carefully beside you, brown eyes surveying the colorful horizon as it rapidly changed to baby blue. "Penny for your thoughts?"
You ignored her. "You're up early."
She hummed, untangling her locks while freeing them from the loose bun they were originally tied up in. "I was getting water, and then I saw you out here. Figured you could use some company."
"Thanks."
"You know you can always talk to me, right?"
You could guess what she was implying, but you also knew Sarah was one to be blunt. If you didn't bring it up, she certainly would. "Yes, I know that." Your e/c eyes remained straight ahead, in fear you might catch her sending you a pitiful glance. You loved Sarah, truly. But you didn't know what to say. Wishing you could say more led you almost feeling disappointed in yourself for not confiding in them. But you had felt enough guilt for a lifetime of emotions.
"Good, because I'm always here for you," she smiled, beautiful teeth shining during such an early morning. Sarah Cameron reminded you of summertime. She was graceful, with golden locks that bathed in the sun. Freckles danced along the prominent features of her youthful skin. She had always been a natural beauty, much like Kie. Not much was needed for her to look presentable.
"I wish I could say more," you admitted.
The blonde tilted her head, bemusement settling between her thick brows. "What do you mean?"
"I just- everyone's been so supportive and its like, I wish I had more to say. I wish I had told everyone sooner."
A soft hand cupped your naked knee, sudden warmth embracing it. "No one is mad at you. I completely understand why you didn't tell us. I'm the one that's sorry you felt like you couldn't have come to us sooner."
A comfortable silence engulfed the two of you. There wasn't many times you and Sarah spent alone, but it felt nice to finally do so. That is, until a tall brunette stumbled onto the deck and interrupted the peace.
"What're you guys doing out here?" John B's usual rasp was switched out for an appealing nasally sound, one you had heard numerous times.
"We were enjoying the silence," you teased.
"Room for two more?" Of course, JJ followed shortly behind his friend as he tugged a loose t-shirt over his head.
"So much for girl time," Sarah mumbled, low enough for mainly you to hear.
"We're all girls here," JJ replied with an awful, girlishly high voice that had everyone practically covering their eardrums.
"We should get Kie and Pope over here."
Kie. Naturally, you'd have to face her sooner or later. "Is uh, is she mad at me?"
John B and JJ exchanged a glance. "Kie?"
"Who else?" John B had always been an awful liar. JJ wasn't any better. You sighed, running your hand through your hair to get it off of your face. Humidity was rather annoying when someone was already feeling frustrated. "She looked really pissed at me last night."
"You know Kie, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," the brunette resorted to, though the uncertainty in his words was impossible not to miss. You had every right to know if she was mad at you.
"Yeah, I'm sure you're right."
Only hours later you sat in the passenger seat of the Twinkie, trying desperately hard not to melt under Kiara's glare. Oh, she was definitely pissed at you. When she first arrived, it was hard to avoid. Her deep, chocolate eyes followed you around as if she was afraid she'd lose you. However, the glance they held was far too cruel to be innocent. It reminded you of a mother's glare. Perhaps after a child had lied about something, or broke a family heirloom. Disappointment. Was Kie disappointed you never told her you were into girls?
As the day dragged along, Kiara barely spoke a word to you. Her glares had been replaced with something more akin to distress, rather than anger. She never mumbled a snarky comment in reply to anything you said, and she made herself scarce. If anything, you really hadn't noticed her speak to anyone other than a few sentences.
Kiara and Pope had always been the ones you were closest to. Pope seemingly knew more about you than you did, and Kiara was your person. The one you would turn to late at night when things were much too hard to handle on your own. You would share drinks, and share clothes to the point where they didn't feel like just your own. Nothing was ever just yours when it came to her. Not the clothes that were neatly tucked away in the closet, or the band posters hung up on your white walls. Not the sweatshirts that smelled of a mixture between your perfume and her own-- a sweet, flowery scent that pleasantly filled your nasal passages. Nor the alcohol bottles tucked secretly underneath your bed that felt wrong to even touch when she wasn't with you. You and Kiara had never just acted like friends. Perhaps it would take all of this for you to finally realize that.
3.
Despite how lovely the beach was, you could never spend the rest of your life in the Outer Banks. Or at least, you couldn't imagine yourself doing so. It was funny how people who spend much of their life in a particular climate, want so desperately to move somewhere to experience the opposite. So much of the world was yet undiscovered, waiting for you to explore it. You remembered JJ telling you there was no room left to grow in a place you spent all of your time growing in. If you were honest, you never completely understood until now.
That didn't mean you couldn't enjoy the sound of waves crashing upon the shore in such a rhythm it was almost mesmerizing. It was something you had heard and seen countless times, but it never seemed to bore you.
"I thought I would find you here," someone spoke from behind you. That someone was Kiara. You could recognize that voice from miles away. You turned slowly from your seated position on the sand to see her, as she stood meekly a few feet back. Whatever she was here to confess must have been eating her up inside. You knew the feeling.
"Here I am," you smiled, and gestured next to you. The sand below you was so vast, but Kiara sat as close as she could without being physically on top of you. Not that you would've minded. This particular spot wasn't somewhere you normally came with company. It was somewhere secluded and peaceful, unlike the boneyard. Her presence was not considered a disruption, however. Anywhere you went, she was welcome to be.
"I wanna apologize for how I've been acting." Her brown eyes appeared so sincere. Her face had fallen into contentedness, but the furrowing of her brow told you all you needed to know. The distance wasn't only harming you. "I'm really sorry, I could've handled that a lot differently."
"I forgive you," you said. You weren't at all surprised at how fast the words left your mouth either. "But why were you so upset with me in the first place?"
Must've struck a nerve by how eagerly she had broke the existing eye contact. Her head dropped, eyes planted onto her crisscrossed lap before she sighed. "I guess I was upset that you never told me you were gay. As if you were afraid I wouldn't accept you."
Oh, how awfully you wanted to cup her well-rounded cheeks and swear that wasn't the issue. Instead, you remained content with the way her and your opposite knees occasionally brushed upon one another with no one making the effort to prevent it from happening again. It was the way her knee seemed to be the only source of warmth you felt, even under the security of your worn out jumper. "No, Kie, that's not why I never told you. Please don't think I don't feel like I can confide in you. I'd trust you with my life."
"Then why didn't you say anything?"
Because it would remind me that I'm in love with you, you thought. "Inner demons, I guess. I couldn't really expect people to support me when I couldn't support myself."
"Oh, Y/n/n, I never knew you felt that way." Kiara brought a hand up to brush over your cheekbone. It was so meticulous and gentle, you couldn't help but lean further into her touch. "I will always support you. You'll always have me."
You smiled, genuinely, admiring her features under the sunset. As the sun made it's final appearance and dipped below the horizon, it kissed the surface of Kiara's smooth skin. You studied the outline of her thick lashes while they delicately fluttered, and couldn't help but imagine how love-struck you must've appeared. "I love you, you know," you spoke carefully. And for the first time ever, it meant more than just as a friend.
4.
Things were back to normal. There wasn't any awkward tension between you and Kie, and if anything, you began to notice a small change. Typically, you had the tendency to overlook things. But over time, it seemed Kiara made the initiative to have a body part touching you at all times. When on the water, the brunette would lay her head into the crevice between your shoulder and neck. Her bikini, if had been touched by the water, would pressed coolly onto your side. A nice temperature change from the constant sun blaring down onto your scalp. Her long hair would tickle your skin but you would never complain about being so close. You knew what it looked like from the eyes of a stranger, and you couldn't bring yourself to care.
The looks shared between the rest of the group weren't anything envious or skeptical. In your own eyes, they appeared to be unsurprised of the sudden closeness between you and your girl bestfriend. Sarah's proud smirk seemed something more knowing, and you were sure the smile on yours was a dead giveaway. Naturally, part of you hoped Kiara didn't notice how they recognized it, or at least you hoped she wouldn't be upset about it. Nothing had been done, even if they didn't know that, the both of you sure did. It seemed, if Kiara was anywhere in distress about your friends foolishness, she made no effort to correct them. That was simply the best part about it.
As evening grew to night, you found yourself wandering to Kiara's house. Figure Eight was so beautiful to walk through, with the white picket fences and underground pools. You didn't belong, but that didn't matter.
Throughout your entire childhood, Kiara's parents were pretty fond of you. You mostly kept to yourself, and you were sure they were thankful there was a girl, other than their daughter, within the chaos of teenage boys. Being polite, and always pleasant, the Carrera's offered hospitality if needed. They welcomed you with open arms, not that you needed it, but nonetheless the gesture was heart warming. It was nice to feel accepted. And even if you were safe in your home in the Cut, the chateau and the Carrera's were yet another safe haven if deemed necessary. However, that didn't mean you weren't going to go through Kiara's window ninety percent of the time.
Tonight was no exception, you thought, as you latched your hands onto the window before softly tapping your knuckles on it. From where you were crouched, Kiara was laying on her stomach upon her pink comforter, legs swinging in the air as she indulged herself in a magazine. Deep in thought, her head turned up, surveyed her room, before her warm eyes landed on you. You smiled, cheekily as she attempted to open the window with stealth. This wouldn't be the first time you would've gotten caught for not using the front door. It was an awkward conversation you weren't willing to repeat. "What are you doing here?" She whisper-yelled, grabbing your arm to help lift you into her bedroom.
You scanned her face for any sign of hesitation, but none was found. She really didn't mind when you turned up out of nowhere, she was just a tease. "Brought some things, thought we could hangout," you shrugged, and tossed your backpack onto her bed. She didn't mistake the sound of bottles clinking as they nudged one another inside your bag, nor the knowing smirk that settled upon your face.
"You're awful."
"Yeah, but I don't think you mind." Kiara jumped onto the mattress with ease, patting the spot beside her. Immediately, you climbed onto the comforter and wiggled yourself into her side. Hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder, only then did you notice her pajamas. "Cute outfit."
Kiara sent you a glare. "Are you not aware of how late it is."
"No, not that. That's my sweatshirt is all." Kiara's eyes surveyed your face slowly, eyes flickering from your chin to your own eyes. It was almost as if she was expecting you to ask for her to take it off, but that was never your intention. "Looks better on you anyway." You looked away, feeling her eyes while they remained glued to the side of your head.
It wasn't often you were this bold. And if you were honest, you kind of weren't sure where it was coming from. Perhaps it was the past few weeks and the growing tension between the two of you-- that you knew could not be one sided. It felt almost too natural to feel the heat radiating off of her own body as it projected onto yours. The way her hips seemingly fit alongside yours like a puzzle piece, or how her head snugly fit into the crook of your neck like it was made for that purpose to begin with. There was no doubt in your mind that you weren't in love with Kiara. It was about time you became content with it.
1+
You found yourself at your spot again today. The need for peace only growing stronger before you sat down onto the sand and allowed your tensed shoulders to shrink down. The sky was painted over in shades of grey, indicating the storm that was yet to come. This only frustrated you further. As much as you loved to watch the rain pour from the sky, you didn't plan on getting soaked.
Before you could even get off of the beach, a fat rain drop smacked your temple and ran down the center of your face. Great. If you started sprinting now, you'd probably make it to John B's fully soaked from the storm, and left with no change of clothes. Figure 8 was too far from where you were standing, practically everything was. The whole idea of having a quiet place to run off to was the isolation. So, you threw up your backpack over your head and ran towards the boardwalk, slowing your steps as you inched towards The Wreck.
Your hope of finding Kiara working came into fruition. The brown haired girl was making her rounds along the tables as you walked in, the bell attached to the door chiming while you did so. Her hair was neatly tied up in a bun and secured with a decorative headband. Her waitress uniform was by far the cutest thing, but she never liked to hear you say that. You couldn't help the grin that formed onto your features as you watched her exchange pleasantries with customers. If only they knew what she was like once she was free of public eye.
Soon enough her gaze found you, standing at the hostess counter like a wet, stray dog coming out from the rain. Concern washed over her face, but was quickly overruled once she noticed you were smiling-- more than likely teasing her for her uniform. "God, you're soaked! Come on."
Her hand latched onto your wrist in a hurry, pulling you past the cooks and into a small room. Kiara closed the door behind her and dug through a locker. Searching for what, you weren't sure. Not until she pushed a grey t-shirt into your arms as well as a pair of black shorts--the same ones she was clad in. "Thanks," was all you could muster up.
"Well, you're absolutely drenched. It was the least I could do." The gesture was so kind, you could've gotten teary-eyed just thinking about it. She shifted her weight up against the wall while you changed, her brown eyes occasionally observing, but never in a way to make you uncomfortable. Once you were done, the mirror was the first thing you looked upon. "Aw, now we're twinning."
She laughed. "I'm not even kidding when I say that if you walked out there, my parents wouldn't even notice."
Comfortable silence embraced the two of you, but your mind was constantly running. It always was when she was around. Especially with the way she was looking at you now, her eyes just as fixated on you as yours were on her. You couldn't resist. Not anymore. "Kiara, I- I have something to tell you."
Unfortunately, the brunette didn't even allow you to finish. Her light hands engulfed your flushed cheeks instantly, and brought you into a feverous kiss. It was warm, inviting, and unlike anything you've ever felt. The butterflies in your stomach flapped so furiously, you felt you might faint or collapse. But not when you remembered her hands holding onto each side of your face. They might've been the only thing keeping your knees from bucking out underneath you. Your hands explored the curvature of her thin waist delicately, thumbs swirling small circles while you did so. As your lips molded together, it slowly became more needy. Her hand had found itself weaved into your hair, and your hands had quickly pushed her up against your torso firmly. It could've escalated, but an aggressive knock pounded onto the door.
"Kiara! I need help out here. Hurry please."
You were practically dazed, coming down from a high as you attempted to catch your breath. Kiara's chest rose and fell in somewhat of a pattern before she answered back to her coworker. You definitely couldn't ignore how red and bruised her lips had gotten, your saliva coating them like a fresh coat of lip gloss.
Her hands grabbed your forearms softly, squeezing once to capture your attention. "Can we continue this conversation later? I've really got to get back to work," she asked, eyes remaining hopeful as she gazed up at you.
"Of course."
Kiara placed a soft, gentle kiss onto your lips once more, the addictiveness of it too much for her to resist. You weren't complaining. She hurried off before she could even catch your reaction, almost positive if she had she wouldn't be able to leave the room.
As you sat down onto a small bench placed in the center of the employee room, you realized how quiet your mind had gotten. It was insane how far you had spiraled, and the only thing lingering was the buzzing feeling of her plump lips on yours. You were washed over with a feeling of content. All the running around was so worth it. No shame, and certainly no guilt, you were hopelessly in love with Kiara.
summary: when tommy’s biological father comes back for closure, rafe’s love for tommy shows.
warnings: profanities, small panic attack, tommy’s biological father because he needs his own warning. angst. part one of two. gif gredits to @madelyn-cline
word count: 1295
“hey, i’m gonna pick up tommy from school, i’ll be back in a few,” rafe called out as he grabbed his car keys.
you looked up from your laptop and shut your eyes closed for a moment. “i’ll come with you. i’m in desperate need of a break, anyway.”
the car ride to school was only a few minutes away from your home. you and rafe spent the ride talking about everything and anything, making you reminisce about your first date together.
as soon as rafe parked his car by the school, he offered you his hand to hold as you looked for tommy over the crowd of students and parents.
“we should have a movie night later,” rafe suggested as you continued to swing your arms lightly. “we haven’t been able to spend much time together lately.”
“sounds good to me,” you nodded, dragging rafe from behind you as you caught the sight of your son. “oh, look. there’s tommy-“
rafe let out a stifled oomph as he bumped into your back. his confusion only grew at the sight of your sickly face. “what’s wrong?”
when you didn’t answer him, he tried to follow your gaze but you gripped his hand tightly and dragged him along as you muttered, “what the fuck is he doing here?”
“who?” rafe asked, trying to understand what has gotten you so agitated.
“my ex, he’s here.” you ran a hand across your face as you paused in your steps, trying to control your breathing.
“why? you still hung up on him or something?” rafe joked. he still couldn’t understand you, but he gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “maybe he’s just picking up his own kid or whatever.”
“no, rafe.” you sighed, looking over at him. “he’s—”
“daddy! you made it!” tommy grinned, interrupting what you were about to say as he ran towards rafe, who opened his arms to catch him.
“y/n?” a voice spoke up, making rafe look up from tommy. he had his lips pursed, and narrowed eyes that were pointing towards rafe as he noticed his presence.
“james.” you acknowledged him, your voice was void of any emotion and your face was drawn blank.
rafe had a bad feeling about this.
but he shook the feeling off and offered his hand for james to shake as he balanced tommy on his other arm. “rafe cameron, y/n’s boyfriend.”
“james taylor, y/n’s ex-boyfriend and baby daddy.” james introduced himself, a smug smile on his face as he firmly shook rafe’s hand.
“what do you want, james?” you sighed in defeat. you momentarily glanced at rafe’s clenched jaw and menacing glare. you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to fight the guy.
“i want back in,” his face immediately softened at the sight of you. “i know what i did was a total dick move, but i wasn’t ready, alright? but now, i have a steady job and a nice house by the coast. i could finally give you the life you and my son deserve.”
rafe scoffed at his words, making james return his glare. “you got a problem here, man?”
“yeah, actually-“
“rafe.” you stopped him, placing a hand on his arm.
he was sure that the hurt expression on his face didn’t go unnoticed. were you really going to give your ex a time of your day?
“just- i know what i did, okay?” james ran his fingers through his hair. “and i regret leaving you and tommy every single day.”
“why now?” you asked him. you’ve moved on from him as an ex-boyfriend, but that didn’t mean that the hurt that you felt magically disappeared. “why wait for five years to come back?”
he swallowed the lump on his throat. “i- i thought that i was living the life after moving to the coast, but the loneliness that i felt made me realize that there was something missing— you. you were missing.”
“oh my god, james.” you whispered. you couldn’t believe that he was doing this right now.
“look, i get it if you choose not to get back together with me-“
you scoffed, “of course i won’t get back together with you, are you really that daft?”
“but all i ask is that you let me be tommy’s dad, y/n.” he begged. “it wouldn’t be fair to him that i’m here and i’m not a part of his life.”
rafe felt sick. he’s been standing beside you, watching his lover and her ex talk about their son. because tommy was never his. no matter how rafe treated him as if he was, he will never be tommy’s dad.
“closure. that’s all i’m asking for, okay?” james sighed before digging into his pocket to hand you a card. “just think about it. give me a call.”
you gripped on the calling card and watched as he left, a heavy feeling settling in your chest as you grabbed rafe’s hand. “let’s go home.”
you grabbed the car keys from rafe and took over the car. you knew he was too upset and mad with what happened.
the car ride back home was different from the one you had going to school. it was quiet and tense, only tommy was the one filling in the silence, oblivious to the high-strung atmosphere.
as you parked the car in the garage, rafe immediately climbed out and into the house. you sighed, helping tommy out of the car as you grabbed his school bag.
when you entered the house, rafe was sitting on the couch, an aggravated frown on his lips. you crouched down to meet tommy’s height and caressed his face. “go to your room for a moment, tommy.”
“but-”
“please, sweetheart?” you stressed, shutting your eyes close.
he nodded with a pout, dragging himself to his room.
you sat yourself beside rafe, neither of you wanting to talk just yet. you fiddled with the promise ring that rafe gave you, going over every possible thing to say.
but before you could get a word out, he beat you to it. “i don’t like him.”
“you don’t have to like him, rafe.” you replied, resting your head against the couch as you closed your eyes. “but he’s the biological father, and he deserves at least some closure with tommy.”
“are you seriously thinking about it?” rafe asked incredulously, his voice raising slightly.
“look, i hate this just as much as you do, rafe,” you sighed. “but he’s the father, and i can’t keep that away from tommy.”
“no.” rafe shook his head, feeling the tears burn his eyes. “i’m- i’m the dad, alright?”
“i’m the one who lulls him back to sleep when he gets nightmares, i’m the one who takes care of him when he gets sick, i’m the one who gave him the paternal love he needed, i’m the one he calls his dad, y/n.” he points at himself, letting the tears fall. “okay? i’m- i’m… i may not be his biological dad but i’ve been more of a father to tommy than james will ever be.”
“i know, i know.” you breathed out, wrapping your arms around him.
you knew that this hurt him, too. maybe even more.
his love for tommy will always be unparalleled.
whilst you and rafe were talking, tommy was sitting on his bed, lost in thought. his eyes were trained on one of the many drawings of him and rafe.
even at his young age, he knew that the man from earlier could be his dad. and he should be happy, right?
but his mind always went back to rafe.
he loved rafe. he saw him as his father figure, his best friend.
he saw rafe as his dad, and tommy’s mind was set on that.
summary: eating soup with pope never had you thinking he would come with such an odd addition.
word count: 372.
authors note: so i saw @taylathornton‘s post on people doing this and i just (??) who in their right mind just up and decides to put crackers in their soup— anyways, dni if you do 🤨/j
summary: for tommy’s third birthday, rafe brought the two of you to the obx’s flashing carnival.
warnings: fluff as always, gif credits to @madelyn-cline !! <3
word count: 1232
a bright lovely day was brought to the outer banks on the morning of august 20th.
rafe has his arms wrapped around your body, legs tangled whilst you were in each other’s warm embrace. the soft snores escaping from your lips were fused with the songs that the birds were singing.
it was merely eight a.m. when tommy stirred up. he rubbed his eyes as he adjusted to the light. he let out a small yawn and his gaze fell upon the calendar on his wall, the date today encircled many times with doodles of balloons and a cake adorned on the small box.
he excitedly got up from his bed and hurried towards your bedroom where you and rafe were currently residing.
he twisted the door knob slowly and climbed on the bed, balancing himself as he prepared to wreak havoc on his parents’ peaceful sleep.
“wake up, wake up!” tommy yelled, bouncing up and down on the bed. “it’s my birthday!”
you groaned against your pillow, a yawn escaping from your lips as the boy continued to jump on the bed.
“what time is it, tommy?” rafe asked, his eyes still closed as sleep tried to catch up with him from the sudden disturbance.
tommy flopped down in between the both of you, tapping his chin in thought. “uhh, i don’t know. it’s my birthday though!”
you and rafe chuckled softly as you cupped your son’s cheeks in your hands. you peppered his face with light kisses, his giggles bringing music to your ears. “god, you’re growing up too fast.”
rafe smiled, opening his arms to bring him in a hug. he wrapped his arms around the boy as he laid on top of his chest. “happy birthday, bud.”
the rest of the day was spent at tommy’s favorite ice cream parlor. rafe rented it for a few hours, much to his father’s displeasure, but he’ll do anything to make tommy’s birthday perfect.
the pogues, sarah, topper, and kelce attended the small birthday party, putting the stupid rivalry aside to become one of the cool aunts and uncles for tommy.
they got along, somehow. even going as far as cosplaying superheroes and villains to amuse the birthday boy.
rose and wheezie dropped by, too. rose spoiled tommy the moment rafe told them all about you and him. she loves him, rightfully so.
you prepared a projector and the screen, and spent the rest of the afternoon watching luca, and a few more of tommy’s favorite movies whilst eating tubs of ice cream.
at the end of his party, the now three-year-old now had multitudes of presents. you had to come back again to gather the others since it didn’t fit in your car.
but the day isn’t over yet.
rafe planned something to make tommy’s birthday even more special.
the little boy was practically bouncing around with utter excitement, continuously asking, “are there yet?”
his eyes lit up as he caught sight of the bright flashing lights of the carnival. “wow,”
you and rafe exchanged grins as he parked the car near by the entrance.
you had to hold on tightly onto tommy’s hand because you’re pretty sure he’d run around if you let go. it was his first time being in a fair, and everything from the pretty lights to the creative displays amazed him.
“what d’you wanna do first, tommy?” rafe asked, crouching down to smile at him.
“uhm,” he hummed, his face scrunched up in though. he started to look around, everything was so exciting and he couldn’t choose. although one booth caught his eye, there were stacks of milk bottles on a stool, and huge stuffed bears were hanging on the displays. “that one!”
“alright.” rafe nodded, letting tommy climb on his back for a piggyback ride. “you ready?”
“yeah!” he exclaimed, holding onto rafe’s hair as your boyfriend ran towards the booth.
you let the smile tug on your lips as you trailed after them.
tommy was now on his tiptoes, holding onto the booth’s counter. he was watching rafe intently as he calculated his moves.
you propped tommy on your hip as rafe tried to knock down the milk bottles. you and tommy couldn’t stop giggling at his unsuccessful attempts, which just made him even more persistent on winning.
after six more sets of balls and eight dollars spent, rafe finally managed to knock them all down.
“and we finally have a winner!” the booth manager exclaimed, handing rafe, who adorned a triumphant grin, the three foot tall stuffed bear.
tommy cheered, sliding down your hip to jump up and down in delight. he immediately squeezed the life out of the teddy bear as soon as it was handed to him.
“i love him!” he squealed. “i’m gon’ name him coco!”
“welcome to the family, coco.”
you flopped down on one of the benches after walking around for a few hours, trying to catch a breath as your feet begged for a break.
“you having fun, tommy?” you asked the toddler, dabbing his face with a hand towel to wipe off his sweat.
“yup!” he grinned up at you. he turned around to ask rafe something when he noticed that he wasn’t there. “where’s rafey?”
tommy made a very firm decision that he would call rafe with two names. ‘rafey’ and ‘dad’, always switching between the two.
though he often calls him ‘dad’ whenever he needs something, or he’s done something wrong and he knows that he’ll let him get away with it. he knew that rafe could never resist him.
before you could even reply to him, rafe was already approaching the two of you, two cotton candies occupying his hands.
“is that a cloud?” tommy asked in amazement, making you and rafe laugh.
“no, baby, that’s a cotton candy.” you chuckled before ripping a chunk off and handing it to him. “here, give it a try.”
he hesitantly grabbed it from you and took a bite. his eyes lit up at the sweet melted taste of the candy. he grabbed the stick from you and devoured it as you and rafe shared one.
the three of you spent the rest of the night playing at game stands and trying every ride there was, and rafe settled with the fact that he and the spinning teacup ride were not friends.
from the food court, to the game stalls, and the fun rides, it was time to end the night with a spin on the ferris wheel.
“wow,” tommy mumbled, holding onto you and rafe’s hand for dear life as he gazed across the distance. the stars were especially bright tonight, reflecting across the view of the beach waves.
you smiled softly at him and looked over at rafe, who was already looking at you. you leaned a bit over at him, and pecked his lips, resting your head on his shoulder as the ferris wheel slowly spun.
you held rafe’s hand and coco on the other as you watched the people leave and pack away their stuff. tommy was already quiet and sleepy as rafe carried him.
“did you have fun, buddy?” rafe asked softly, rubbing tommy’s back comfortingly as you walked back to the car.
“yeah, this is the best day ever.” he mumbled, a soft smile gracing his lips despite his drowsiness. “thank you, mommy and daddy. i love you.”
summary: rafe and y/n was supposed to spend a night full of fun and games as soon as tommy goes to bed, but a sleepy mutter of that word made rafe realize that he needed to step up his game.
warnings: profanities // gif credits to the amazing @madelyn-cline
word count: 945
“silenzio bruno! silenzio bruno!”
the sounds of the movie playing on your television filled your ears. the three of you were on the couch, your fingers were running through tommy’s hair as his head laid on your lap.
it was far past his bedtime, but he insisted on watching luca before bed, a movie that he claimed was his favorite.
his soft yawn caught your attention, watching as his eyes slowly droop.
“okay, mister, time for bed.” you whispered, pausing the movie.
“but mommy, i didn’t get to watch my favorite part!” tommy whined sleepily as he rubbed his eyes to oust his fatigue.
“we’ll get to your favorite part tomorrow, okay? but right now it’s time for you to sleep,” you promised, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he sat up on your lap.
“c’mon, bud,” rafe smiled, extending his arms towards him to carry him to his bedroom. “say good night to mommy.”
“g’night, mommy.” he yawned once more before burying his face in rafe’s neck.
rafe opened the door to tommy’s bedroom, careful not to step on any of his scattered toys as he walked across the room.
as soon as he got him in bed, rafe turned on the star projector he bought for him for his second birthday, watching as the lights occupied the whole room.
he tucked the sleepy tommy in and planted a kiss on his forehead. “good night, tommy.”
“good night, daddy.” tommy whispered as his eyes fluttered shut, sleep finally taking over.
rafe froze, and he swore his heart stopped beating for a moment. he blinked, his mouth opening and closing in shock.
“what- what was that, tommy?” he whispered, slightly shaking the toddler. “hey bud, can you- can you say that again?”
he stared expectantly at the sleeping toddler, waiting for his response with high hopes.
when all he got in return was soft snores, he sighed, moving tommy’s hair away from his face and planted one last kiss on his forehead.
rafe looked back at him once more, a soft smile on his lips, before heading back out.
“hey, is he asleep?”
rafe looked up to see you preparing the gaming console. you raised mario kart and tekken, silently asking which game he prefers.
he pointed at mario kart and answered, “yeah.”
you and rafe spent the next hour playing mario kart. he could hear you occasionally whispering profanities at the other drivers. usually, he’d join in, the both of you would curse the other drivers together as you munched on some chips, and talk trash like a bunch of teenagers, but tonight, he was especially quiet.
you momentarily glanced at him before turning your attention back to the screen. “you okay, love?”
“tommy called me dad.” he blurted out, though his eyes were still trained on the television.
you froze, and immediately pressed paused on the game. “what?”
rafe had a prominent smile on his face, and it was making his cheeks hurt, but he doesn’t care. he was happy.
“he called me dad.” he laughed, tears of joy slowly blurring his eyes. his heart was nearly leaping off his chest at the warm feeling fluttering in his chest.
“oh, rafe,” you let out a watery smile, leaning across the couch to bring him into a hug. “god, that’s amazing.”
“yeah, i was- i don’t-“ he let out a shaky breath. “i never expected it, y’know?”
you nodded, listening to him as he continued to tell you how he feels.
“i mean, tommy deserves so much. i try my best to be his best friend, and that’s all i ever wanted to be for him,” he puffed out a content sigh. “but fuck, i need to step up my game now.”
rafe paused for a moment. sure, he was over the moon that his girlfriend’s son sees him as his dad, but would he even remember it when he wakes up? what if it was just a minor slip-up?
every what-if question and self-doubt started to cloud his mind, and you could practically hear the gears turning in his head.
“what if i don’t turn out to be the best for tommy?” he frowned, running a hand through his hair.
you grabbed his fidgeting hand and intertwined it with yours to calm him down. “you don’t have to worry about a thing, okay, rafe?”
“tommy loves you. he adores you.” you reassured him. “he looks up to you, y’know?”
“that’s what got me so worked up,” rafe confessed, leaning back against the couch. “what if i do something horrible, and tommy— he’ll be disappointed in me.”
“he’ll never be disappointed in you, rafe,” you pecked his lips. “because you’re one of the best things that ever happened to him— to us, and so far you haven’t screwed anything up, so you’ll be fine.”
“you promise?” he asked, wanting to hear the words from you, a comforting reassurance to ease his anxiety.
“you want me to make a pinky promise?” you teased him, wiggling your pinky finger at him.
rafe playfully rolled his eyes at you before tackling you on the couch. he buried his face into your neck, completely crushing you with his weight, but you didn’t mind.
you turned the television off and combed your fingers through his hair. your lips graced a soft smile as you felt him pepper light kisses on your neck.
“you know we love you, right?” you whispered, planting a kiss on his head.
“yeah.” he hummed. rafe didn’t think he’s ever been so content with the life he’s living right now, but he sure as hell would never take it for granted. “i love you, too.”
