Pointless Lines on OKC

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Look at this fucking terrible profile and laugh with me.

My self-summary:  I like going out on the weekend and having fun. hit me up      

What I’m doing with my life: Living it

I’m really good at: Having fun     

[softasclouds]

I cant see my self with out you.

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Girls on dating sites be like “I just want a partner in crime” But they really just dead fucking weight on your adventure.  We all know the dude gonna handle where they going, how they getting there, what they gonna do there, and how to stay chill. 

Girl just gotta check her calendar and be like “K, I can be picked up at this time”

Fuck it.  You ain’t getting shit aside from the places I already know.  Like the coffee shop and my bedroom.

You get adventures and shit when you show me you good.

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On 9/11, White people be like “Never Forget!!!  Firefighters, law enforcement, victims, don’t forget a single person!”

People of color be like “And the innocent Muslim victims!”

And the White people be like “nahhhhhh”

But for real though.  White people see 9/11 as something like literally the worst event that’s ever happened in the history of ever.  People of color see 9/11 as an event that opened the doors for anti-Muslim sentiment.  POC see a war or two that was waged on the Middle East for...?  I’m not even entirely sure what yet. 

And Whites say “Never forget.”

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If you have a one sentence dating profile, fuck you.

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My first Tinder match is a fat fuck.  I should have paid attention more when I was swiping...=/

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Damn, I got matched with this girl who has a far, far, meaner mug than me...

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My Okcupid expectations now:

Basically,

Your weight < My weight

Normalish

Closeish

And yet....

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Profile Pics:

Okay, that shot that looks like the you fucked up using the self timer and it took a picture of your confused face as you’re reaching for the camera?

Yeah, don’t use that one as a profile pic.

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First rule of profile pics:

Don’t choose one where you otherwise look normal except for being cross eyed!

Comeon!  Give yourself a shot!  Cute funny faces that are cross eyed are okay doe.

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On Quickmatch, does okcupid throw in some random dudes as a test to see you’re still there?

It’s just annoying.  I’m mostly there (unless I’m watching tv...).

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Got a body shaped like a Coke bottle*.

*In a fun house mirror that squishes everything down.

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I think you’re doing it wrong...

Woman, you lookin for someone nice in an unincorporated town, 100+ miles away from the nearest city.  The last census had your town at less than 700 people.  You already fucking know everyone who’s available on a first name basis! 

Just go over and fucking ask for the D or w/e it is you want.

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I think this is the first time a chick has straight up used the “overweight” category correctly.

Good for her.  Honesty is just a good policy.  Too bad the world doesn’t always reward for honesty.  =/

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Clever Girl...

Used the MySpace Fat Girl Angle shots until the VERY end.

Also, VERY impressive use of hiding your arms in a casual, believable way.

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WHAT IS GOING ON

A woman messaged me….

And called me good looking????

I’m pretty sure my profile screams “boring relationship” type.  This isn’t what gets bitches wet.  I get it. 

I just don’t expect umm…this strong a message.

Wish it’d happen more often…

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She just gave me her number and made lots of innuendos….

My profile is NOT the profile for hooking up!  What is she doing?!  I’m too vanilla for this shit!  What are the obvious catfish signs?  This is an obvious catfish sign isn’t it?

Is it worth a shot…?

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Was a ploy to get me to participate in some sex website or something.

I’m starting to doubt she even has tattoos on her back!  /s

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Some beauties from a /r/Fatlogic thread

https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/3ggwqv/i_dont_think_fat_activists_understand_how_dating/

After a few times of people (after like 5+ dates) mentioning they didn't realize how slim I was based on my profile made me add a full body photograph. I just had face photos because of selfies, and all were at normal angles too! Apparently I was accidentally showing signs of hiding weight, even though I wasn't.

Guys are like “whelp, let’s just this over with and see what she actually looks like...”  And then were flabbergasted when the girl showed up at a normal weight.  hahaha

He's (friend) a super nice guy, but he was so pissed about being lied to by every woman on the dating site. I thought it was hilarious that this super fit guy kept getting matched with fat chicks. 

HAHAHHAAH this is like in South Park where Butters keeps shooting people in the dick