mmm no I’m thinking about actor!owen getting to be in a production of Falsettos again. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t. No matter how you slice it Falsettos is far too recent for Owen to feasibly play any role. Not unless you fuck with the timeline and that doesn’t interest me.
Also the onstage kiss wasn’t added until the 2016 revival, iirc, but.
I just keep circling my head around the idea of canon era Owen, having taken a different path in life but still having to hide himself for so long, kissing a man live on stage and having so many feelings about that.
And I don’t know how Curt would tie into this because like. If Owen wasn’t a spy they never would have met. Or if Owen became an actor after the events of canon somehow, which is also nonsense but. This idea is already nonsensical so just bear with me.
Does he see Curt in Marvin? In his desperation to be seen as straight, in his hang ups around masculinity? In his immaturity? Does he see himself in Marvin’s bitterness and need to win? Does he see Curt in Whizzer and his dramatic flair? Does he see himself in Whizzer’s bone-deep fear of vulnerability? Does an Owen who was abandoned in the silo hear Whizzer’s anguish and anger in The Games I Play and understand viscerally what it’s like the be left by someone you love in spite of yourself, and despite the fact that they just don’t seem to love you back in the same way? Does he listen to You Gotta Die Sometime and relate to Whizzer’s need to go out with dignity, which he was never afforded?
Does he hear The Thrill of First Love and The Chess Game and remember how he and Curt would fight over stupid things? How the conflict defined their relationship as much as the love did? Does he listen to What More Can I Say and remember those rare quiet moments where everything felt like it was going to be okay?
Does he hear Days Like This and Unlikely Lovers and resent the fact that he had no one by his side when he was trapped in Russia/taken by Chimera and dying? Does it remind him how lonely it was and how much he both longed for Curt’s presence and hated Curt for not being there?
What does he think of What Would I Do? and the line “all your life you wanted men, and when you got it up to have them, who knew it could end your life”? In the show proper that line is already a great double entendre regarding Marvin metaphorically blowing up his entire life to be with Whizzer (the meaning Marvin takes from the line, which is SO telling) and Marvin literally dying of AIDS after the show ends. But I wonder what that line would mean to Owen, who died at the hands of the man he loved twice. If he’s playing Marvin, does he get to sing “I’d do it again. I’d like to believe I’d do it again and again and again” and does he mean it? Or does it feel like a horrible lie that he can only force out on account of his great acting skills?
Idk man just. Thinking about queer men and lovers come and lovers go. Lovers live and die fortissimo. What does it mean to play a character who’s a more honest portrayal of you than you could ever be? What could it mean to Owen?
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