Sweet Nothings

"[Your] horrid image doth unfix my hair." – Macbeth Visit my Ao3 Icon by apollon-hyakinthios ❤️

[pokytoad]

Oh noooooo a random state park worker who wasn't me at all totally forgot to raise the flag to half mast for lindsey graham today ooooopsies

[doomspiral]

I have no other reason than "gut feeling" that Tolys should play the trumpet, and other brass.

[thecollectibles]

Uncle, how to get to the beautiful country? by Xiaoyu Wang

[prokopetz]

"I hate how American media will just make up a European nation rather than do any research, so I'm going to get back at them by writing a story set in a fake American state" like, do you have the slightest idea how much American media is set in a geographically impossible fictional small town located in no particular state and characterised entirely by some guy from Los Angeles' collection of half-remembered stereotypes about the American Midwest? They've already got the "lazily inventing fictional parts of America" bit locked down.

No, if you want to play the Uno reverse card on American media, what you need to do isn't to make up a fake state: you specifically need to wilfully misrepresent southern California.

[davai-tovarisch]

[charlizetheronsbush-official]

[seaymph]

I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night, where the Spanish moss drips from the trees like lace, and honeysuckle buds perfume the air. Sticky, glistening skin. Sultry and forever.

[pugsarelub]

and fifty dozen mosquitos are sucking your body dry and cicadas scream so loud you can never sleep and watch where your honeysuckle ass steps or you’ll plant your foot on a pissed off copperhead

[your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord]

One person is from the south. One person isn’t. Guess which.

[conquerorwurm]

“I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night” is a threat

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead

[memewhore]

[dogpuppy]

[straycatj]

やめ！やめるですよ！

Stop! Stop it!

[sarcastictexas]

So, my iPod does this fucking genius factory thing where it forgets which artwork goes with which album and it makes guesses. Because it’s pretty sure I won’t notice.

Needless to say, I noticed.

[neverendingmidnightsun]

the most 2014 post possible

[pokytoad]

On this day I was in the middle of ringing up a guest's ice cream sandwich in the goddamn snack shack when my coworker (standing behind the partition) delivered the news that lindsey graham is dead and I had to continue the transaction with my perfect customer service face while ducking past the wall to whisper-scream "WHAT?!" at her.

[claracedar]

it is funny to hear that wikipedia is apparently losing site visits to AI because let me tell you wikipedia is not losing site visits from me I am all up in that bitch 24/7 I am reading her down like an enemy I am on wikipedia like white on rice

[pokytoad]

lietbel is fun because Natalya has the kind of cuteness aggression that actually results in bodily harm and Tolys has weird feelings about pain and love and where the line between both exists. if you disagree with me you're simply a lame dork who dislikes character flaws.

[scarybrained]

My photos of the Azteca dancers at Los Angeles City Pride Parade! It's always a massive highlight of the parade and such an honor to watch these dancers go!

[fuck-u-maga]

[pokytoad]

Listen being a line cook is funny because you genuinely need to enjoy getting pissed off for the love of the game.

HOWEVER, making the cook deliver food to the table is WILD work like you want me to walk out on the floor and give someone their meatlover's pizza but only pepperoni. You want me to look this person in the eye and give them their Stupid Not Meatlover's Pizza.

[doomedmutual]