The President Ever

This is… time unprofitably spent

[polkposting]

Today I styled my hair, for I am my own barber.

Sarah liked it.

[polkposting]

henry clay lowk…….

Lowk? As in low? Low to the ground? Low in intelligence? Low in destinies manifested?

What does this mean?

[papanezblues]

it means that he’s attractive, mr. polk

[polkposting]

Ah, low standards, then.

I know what a handsome man looks like, and it is NOT Mr. Clay.

[polkposting]

henry clay lowk…….

Lowk? As in low? Low to the ground? Low in intelligence? Low in destinies manifested?

What does this mean?

[henryclayupdates]

he’s dead. sorry to disappoint

[polkposting]

No, no, this is amazing news

[polkposting]

Polk update: I believe he kicked the bucket

Evidence: Persistent stomach ache

[polkposting]

My liver blew up

[polkposting]

Back pain

I can’t go to Cracker Barrel

[polkposting]

Children, never drink suspicious water.

This parasite is a pain in the ass

[polkposting]

I’m also shedding

Please help

[polkposting]

Henry Clay is absolutely terrible to my gut

Working like this painful

[henryclayupdates]

he’s not a parasite. he’s dead

[polkposting]

I named the parasite in my intestines after him <3

[polkposting]

My wife

Bought cormbreadb

[andrewjacksonupdates]

He is NOT fujoing out

[polkposting]

But I am (vote Polk 2028)

[polkposting]

i mean isn’t the real henry clay also a parasite

Yes, but I’d like to clarify that the real Henry Clay is more of a pain to one’s head, not one’s gut.

To quote my late mentor: “Henry Clay? More like Henry Stupid”

[polkposting]

Henry Clay is absolutely terrible to my gut

Working like this painful

[polkposting]

I may or may not have a parasite

[polkposting]

I think I’ll name it Henry Clay

[polkposting]

I may or may not have a parasite

[polkposting]

I do not like hosting parties at the White House.

Why must I receive looks of repulsion if I want to eat five pickles from a cup? This is MY house.