my baby's got a gun.

jake. 27. they/them. pst.

[poltcrgists]

sethcohcnaf​:

“i don’t know if it’s much about being clever than it is them having ears everywhere - we knew we had a mole, this just further confirms it” she assured, offering what little reassurance she could because truly, who could have anticipated this? alice wasn’t sure what she had wanted - from him, this horrific circumstance or even from life in general at this point, but hearing him say i did – it somehow managed garner relief, validation of what happened and how he could perhaps feel how she did in that moment, was this what they meant by the truth will set you free? because she wanted the relief, but never did truly want to be free of him. he was under her skin - a part of her heart, she knew it down to her bones that frank longbottom owned every bit of her fragmented heart and there was not a damn thing she could do about it.

what she had not been expecting was the quiet admittance that followed - he wrote her. in a way she wasn’t sure if she could read those letters without feeling her heart crack into two because she had spent years trying to get him to love himself even a fraction of how she loved him. he needed her too much – and in that moment she had clarity, she couldn’t help but stand up and move toward him - dropping herself down in front of him, because had she not felt the same way? losing frank had felt like losing a part of her and maybe love was uncontrollable and all consuming but losing your sense of self should never be a result of it. she knew deep down, in a way he had given her the freedom to grow into her own independance and she could blame him all she wanted, but weren’t they here in the end? through the heartbreak and messiness of it all - fate was a funny thing, it still brought them together and maybe that was the silver lining they needed.

before she could talk herself out of it, her hand moved to rest against cheek – “this won’t work if you don’t see yourself the way i do – i need you to love yourself as much as i love you and if you can promise that you will try, then we get a re-do” she murmured. she wanted a future – and she knew deep down, it wouldn’t be with anyone but him. “you’re not the only one who made mistakes - i could have fought harder, my first day back - i could have swallowed my pride because lets face it, there’s never been a day that i haven’t loved you, but i meant what i said Frankie - i can’t do this with you, unless you try. i won’t go back to how we used to be”

“i should have known better,” he thinks, shaking his head. when frank had been sorted into slytherin he thought it would be a disgrace, because it wasn’t the same house that alice had been in--or any of the friends that he had been in--it was means of self-preservation, and growing up in the environment that he had eventually grew up in after his dad died. but he had loved alice still, because of the train, because alice had proved time and time again that she didn’t care. he had loved her then and loved her now it was often times too much, he thought, his feeling about her. she was so much more brave than he had been, so much more courageous than he could ever be. it wasn’t fair, he used to think.

he had tried to atone everything his step-father and step-brother ever did being in their house, thinking whatever they thought. he tried to make it work to his advantage but the only downfall would be his love to alice, they must have seen it, and now they were here. it was a fucking mess. he rubbed his eyeballs, trying so hard not to look at alice but here they were by force. he was beginning to crumble before she felt her palm against his jaw. 

“i’ve always loved you,” he says, “i was just too afraid of it--and want it meant,” he says quietly. he shakes his head now, feeling like he didn’t deserve it. most of the time, he retracted himself from feeling anything, because feeling too much of one thing meant danger, and he couldn’t have that when it came to alice. “you’ve always been my safe space and i’m sorry--” he eventually says, feeling like he gave too much. “but i loved you still--despite it all--i’ve loved you more than i’ve loved anyone and i’m afraid we’re gonna fucking die here with all of this i--” he tries not to panic but he is. he never saw himself with much of a future. “i always think about what we could’ve been had i not been a coward of our future. i wanted to propose and have a life together and i’m afraid we won’t get it because this--” this fucking war, but he doesn’t need to say it for her to know. but then he gives himself a moment to take a breath. “i’ll try. you know i’d do anything for you.”

[poltcrgists]

cnlyheartbreaker​:

“No, but I’ve been listening to you try to jam that crankshaft somewhere it doesn’t want to go for the last half an hour, and I think maybe you should come back to it tomorrow with fresh eyes.” While the advice ultimately serves him as well, Nikky still doesn’t think it’s an unreasonable thing to suggest. Sam is an excellent mechanic, that fact is not up for debate, and he works like a dog, but there is a point where you have to stop pushing yourself. Even he must get tired. “C’mon, just leave it for now, it’s not like it’s going anywhere.”

Dragging himself up from the creeper he’s been using, Nik begins packing his stuff away, discreetly turning his nose into the collar of his shirt and wondering if he’s gonna have enough time to go home and shower before he meets his date. Sweat and motor oil isn’t exactly the first impression he wants to make. “I’m not giving you my keys,” he says. If Hakeem wants to let Sam to lock up, that’s his business (literally), but if Nik hands over his keys and something happens, then it’ll be on his conscience. He can’t do it. Not knowing what he knows.

When he’d first discovered exactly how it is that Sam has been fixing all these cars, Nik fully intended to tell his uncle. He’d meant to, had even told Sam as much, and yet… he never did. If anyone finds out what’s been going on at the garage, where the parts are being “sourced” from, his uncle would be in serious trouble, and selling Sam out would be the easiest way to circumvent that. So why hasn’t he done it? The reason Nik’s brain supplies makes his cheeks flush hot, and he quickly gives himself a mental shake. Get a grip.

“Seriously, man, finish up so we can both get out of here.“ Separately. Obviously.

“astute observation,” sam says, trying it again, damn, he thinks, when it doesn’t work. what was the fucking problem? he was usually so good at getting it the first couple of tries. and sam wasn’t tired by any means. despite what most people thought, sam had his process down to a science. he never stayed out too late, or got too drunk, or made stupid and reckless decisions that he would have done a couple of years ago. he took this job as seriously as any medical professional or whoever- this was his entire life, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up because some people thought that he would. he wants to say: is that how you deal with most things: give up when it’s too hard, try it over again when it’s too much? it’s not exactly fair, nikky was a good worker but sam knew that he was also someone that worked knowing that he could lose his job at any given time when people found out who sam really was. he didn’t exactly have the leisure of just coming back to a project when he felt like it. he was living pay check to pay check and even then, it still wasn’t enough. “fuck off,” he eventually says with a sigh, releasing the crankshaft and standing back to look at the car and threading his hands over his head to look at the car as a whole.

he, admittedly, expected that maybe nikky would give him his keys. it’s not like sam was going to go anywhere other than here and back home, on account that nikky knew where he lived and his general whereabouts, especially on the fact that the current car he was working on was because they had the part, and nothing had been stolen. but there’s still a bit of rejection and hurt that sam didn’t know that he had when being rejected it. he doesn’t show this, just looks over at the other with a raised eyebrow. “why not? it’s not like i would be going anywhere, especially on the count you know where i live, and what i do mist weekend nights,” he says, his eyes gesturing towards the cards. there’s a bubble of anger that rises in his chest threatening to come out. but sam wanted to see how this played out. “and it seems you clearly have plans, i don’t. i’m pretty sure i could get this problem fixed in the next couple of hours, and you can continue on with your night,” he says, finding himself leaning against the car that he’s working on, he’s challenging nikky, begging him to say what nikky wants to actually say. sam may be a lot of things but at least he’s honest when it comes to things that most people don’t want to say.   

“no.” sam says, finally, “this is going to take a couple of hours to figure out what went wrong with a few diagnostics, i’m not just going to leave it for the weekend crew to fix,” he didn’t work most weekends, “they’re going to fuck up what i’ve already worked on, so it’s either tonight or never.” he says, folding his arms over his chest and looking at the other. “so you either give me your keys or you’re going to have to stand here while i figure this problem out. completely up to you, i would chose the former over the latter.” unlike you, i actually need this fucking job, but he doesn’t say that. he thinks that it’s cruel, and if he’s tipped over the edge enough, he will say it. sam was all about survival. when you’re raised on survival it makes you cruel. he wished that it wasn’t so. 

[poltcrgists]

cnlyheartbreaker​:

@poltcrgists​

“Alright, Nikky, I’m knocking off now - got a hot date.” Hakeem’s comment is delivered with a swift, companionable kick to Nik’s boot, diverting his attention from the car he’s currently lying beneath. He doesn’t bother rolling out to address his uncle - he can practically hear the suggestive waggling of Hakeem’s eyebrows from where he is, and doesn’t need to look at him to know the boyish smile on his face.

“Okay, killer,” Nik laughs, “Say hi to Auntie. Be good.”

“I can’t promise that,” is Hakeem’s solemn reply, before his voice increases several decibels to reach his other employee working in the back. “Sam! I’m heading out, man - your payslip’s in my office! See you tomorrow!” And just like that, he’s gone, leaving the garage in a cloud of cigarette smoke and his date night cologne.

A beat passes, and Nik finally emerges from beneath the vehicle, letting out a low whistle as he wipes the oil off his hands with the hem of his t-shirt - it’s already dirty anyway. “Hey, you about done back there?” He calls, tilting his face vaguely Sam-wards, “‘Cause I’d like to get out of here while there’s still some daylight left.” He’s got a date tonight too. Isabela Something. Just a girl he’s been talking to on instagram, but still.

sam had a perpetual chip on his shoulder. he could care less of everyone’s social life, he heard it all too much working on these cars. sam had always kept to himself, his dating life was zero, didn’t understand those that actually tried to go out to get to know a person besides their body. maybe that made him shameless but he didn’t really care. he’s been working on a car that was deemed irreparable by the insurance company because they refused to give small business owners a chance — he was about to prove them wrong that he could fix this car under the amount the insurance was willing to pay. he had gotten the rest of the parts last night but wasn’t going to say anything. he was oily and gross, but it didn’t matter, considering sam hyper on a single project at hand, determined to show that he was right when it came to something that he had believed in, which was this dingy little car. he remembers the owner coming to the shop and explaining to him what this car had meant, and sam never gave out promises he couldn’t keep, but he said he would try his best, and he would.

when hakeem said his goodbyes he only slightly waved him off, still on the task at hand. it was just him and nikky now, which made his skin scrawl, despite knowing rather… intimate things about the other. that didn’t mean he liked him. sam fucked a lot of people he didn’t like. the list was much shorter of who he actually did like. but he ignored that, huffing at one of the pieces not wanting to work with him. fuck, this would take more than the time he had given himself. he hated how invested he got sometimes.

he’s focused on task at hand when he hears nikky’s voice again, he rolls his eyes moving so he can look at the other. “does it look like i’m done? we all don’t have hot dates to get to,” he says with a smirk before rolling their eyes. “i can easily lock up if you need to be somewhere so badly,” he’s done it plenty of times before. “run along now.” he had known that other frequented dates more than anyone he has ever known — it didn’t really matter that much to sam, their arrangement was… odd, but it worked. if they didn’t talk about it. “just give me your keys and i’ll be here bright and early tomorrow with them.” he hadn’t gotten any sort of keys to lock up, maybe that had to do with his past, or maybe he wasn’t as important as he thought himself in terms of the garage, but sam knew he could be trustworthy, he loved the garage and wouldn’t let anything happen to it, he just didn’t think that others saw that about himself.

[poltcrgists]

cnlyheartbreaker​:

All things considered, Will isn’t as shocked as they might’ve been to find Mike sitting on their bed. At this point, they almost have a sixth sense for all things pertaining to him, for the sound of his truck and his voice muffled through a wall and the tread of his footsteps on the gravel of their driveway. Even then, their mom managed to warn Will that they had an unexpected guest, waylaying them on the stairs to fret that there’s no food in the house, and to tell them that, in future, she’d prefer if they told her when someone was staying the night. As if they’ve ever had anyone stay the night since they moved into this house over a year ago.

“So you are - and I see you’ve made yourself right at home,” Will says mildly, giving the small pile of Mike’s belongings a pointed look as they step into the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind them. They move through the space like a ghost, eventually taking a seat in their rickety desk chair, backlit by the flickering light of their tiny television set. Once upon a time, they would’ve thought nothing of joining Mike on the bed. “That’s because we’re twenty-two.” And sleepovers are for kids. “You know, you don’t need to, like… keep checking on me. It’s not as if I got hurt or anything.” Jonathan had seen to that.

mike had been couch surfing, mostly at robin’s, it had been a long time since he had been comfortable in his own home. and when he had got home from work his entire family decided to finally all be in the house and that made him on edge knowing that it would turn into something, or nothing, he didn’t really want to stick around and find out. despite the move and everything else, mike had always felt at peace at the byers’ home, and with everything going on it had been a long time since he really had a moment alone with will, and he didn’t really know why that was, other than the fact that maybe mike had done something wrong to offend will, which he hoped that he didn’t. but will never really seemed keen on talking about it to him so mike never pushed, and if he’s honest he wouldn’t know what to say if there was something to talk about but. mike could be painfully oblivious about things that were right in front of him, but seeing the way that will moved in their own room made something ache in mike. like maybe mike being here was generally an uncomfortable feet. he looked down at his hands, and then his stuff, maybe it had been a bad idea. 

“do i have cooties?” mike jokes, noticing the distance. that’s all he’s been really doing lately. noticing things. the way that el can’t really look him in the face much due to their breakup, the way that nancy hasn’t been able to look at him since will first went missing and then barb, the way that his mom had been acting weird a couple of years ago during the one good summer he thought they’d all have with their friends, or the way that jonathan gives him a look of disdain whenever he’s around but tries not to show it, and hopper was hopper, he was never going to win hopper’s good graces to begin with, but that wasn’t all--it was everyone. it felt like everyone had something they weren’t saying--and mike might have been part of the problem too but he was tired. he wanted the long summers of staying out too late on their bikes, playing at the arcade which was partly why he took the job but friends rarely showed up, they all had things going on now and it felt like the end of something. and will had always been a sort of comfort- the one person that mike know that he could go to but even that was... different. he runs a hand through his hair looking over at them giving will a small smile before frowning. “do i need a reason to see you?” i just wanted to see you, but he doesn’t say that. he fiddles with the string on his sweatshirt, now really needing a cigarette, but he was trying to quit, again. 

“everyone’s home and i’m pretty sure robin is sick of me sleeping on her couch,” and and and, “i just... thought we could hang out.” we don’t really do that anymore. “but i can leave if i’m intruding or something.” he makes his voice light, it’s not like he unloaded any of his stuff. typical mike to just assume that it would be fine. “sorry.”

[poltcrgists]

cnlyheartbreaker​:

It’s plain to see how uncomfortable Jamie feels here, hunched over the bar as he is, clutching onto the half-drunk pint in front of him like a lifeline. He’s come directly from work himself, though that doesn’t mean much, as his professional and casual wardrobes are indistinguishable from one another. Every few seconds he asks himself why he bothered coming here tonight, only to come up with the same answer each time - to see him.

Several minutes pass before Eren actually finds his way to Jamie’s side, but when he does, Jamie’s heart promptly starts thundering in his ears, his stomach performing the same nervous somersaults that’ve plagued him almost the entire time they’ve known each other. “Neither did I,” Jamie mutters, glancing warily at the table where James Partha is at his peak, effortlessly holding court with the group of people assembled around him. Jamie has never particularly liked any of Eren’s friends, but Partha is by far the worst offender in his books: a swaggering, over-confident prick with exceptionally decent parents and an enduring place in Eren’s heart. He’d rather die than admit to feeling jealous, and while his stoic expression gives away nothing, the sentiment might as well be stamped across his forehead all the same.

“I canna stay long,” he says, as a new drink arrives next to the old one, “Got work in the morning.” What he means is that he doesn’t want to stay - not with these people who he doesn’t know how to behave around. These people who love Eren, and want the best for him, and know that there’s no world in which that includes Jamie Wood. He can’t ever let his guard down around them, because, deep down, he knows it too.

it wasn’t exactly a secret jamie’s disdain about his friends, but sometimes jamie felt like he needed to remind him that he was also like that. jamie had just been an exception, or maybe jamie really did feel something for him that he just chose to see past it and wanted to see-him-not-see-him. he didn’t know. it was complicated, they were complicated, and he wouldn’t admit how much he relished the thought that maybe it meant something more. but then again, eren always thought that it must mean something more because they’ve been doing this weird dance around each other for so long it sometimes felt suffocating how much eren had ached for it to be something substantial. but he wouldn’t say that either. maybe he was just a coward in the feeling that if he spoke it out loud whatever cautious bubble between the two would finally break and that would be the end of it. perhaps that’s to say that eren was some kind of sick glutton for punishment wanting someone that couldn’t even say they wanted him back. but here he was, trying again. 

eren had put his hands on the counter, looking back at his friends, briefly smiling as if to say it’s fine, rolling his eyes at them before his pinky bumps jamie’s, and then he’s leaning into to make another order to the bartender, giving them a brief smile before looking over at the other. “i think you like running into me.” he says with confidence, “even if i asked.” you still came, it’s a dangerous game to play, and it could very well bite eren in the ass later, and it probably would knowing how they both acted around each other. but over time he’s gotten to learn jamie and how he acts and moves, how uncomfortable he is now, and how he can’t say what he wants but eren learning to move around that and doing it for them. he took pleasure in it, because well, he loved him, didn’t he? and at this point he’d take anything. he knew that it must come off pathetic to jamie but he didn’t care as much. when he gets the drink he smiles again and takes a nice gulp needing the liquid encouragement, and also the last case he was on was hard, and he tried not to show how much the hard cases were. he cared about his job in the same way that jamie did. 

he fingers tap against the glass, feeling incredibly sober, but even worse, a little on edge. “i--” he starts off saying, before sighing, taking another drink. he wanted to say: i know you won’t, or can’t, but i want you to be in my life, and like my friends, and i want to make this something more, but won’t, or can’t. “i’m glad you came.” 

[poltcrgists]

sethcohcnaf​:

fondness – if she could pinpoint what she saw in his eyes, maybe it was nostalgia or the need to find that rhythm again, the smile that etched her lips was weary at best - a fickle attempt at acting as if everything was okay and he was right, that if they were back - perhaps she would have gone out for a drink before realizing it was a mistake. that was her reality - the more time she spent, the more undeniable he was and perhaps that was what pained her the most, having something she wanted dangled before her with no hope. “you have nothing to apologize for –” that she could promise in absolution, “this isn’t on you - we made the choice to come, i thought it was odd, if i had reservations i would spoken up, it’s on both of us” she murmured, if they were going to take fault - it would be together. “we’re not dead - that’s comforting” she chuckled as she gave him a nod, “shacklebolt will check in soon enough –” it was possibly the least stupid thing she had done today, “i told him where we were going - i didn’t show up for my debrief, it’s only a matter of time”

“i think –” she started, she seemed to soon be at a lost of words at his quiet confession - one that she could say set her heart on fire as much as it had blindsided her. “even if it was a date - you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong” she muttered, sitting herself back done, her pants be damned - as if this conversation wouldn’t take her out. he had thought that she was jealous - she could be indignant if he hadn’t really hit the mark but here she was wondering who the man before her was – the one who was open and honest than the one who had given her the space she had never really wanted. “you left me –” words slipping from her lips before she could think about the damage she was about to leave in there wake, “how can i be it for you, if you even thought of leaving me?” she questioned quietly, and it wasn’t anger he’d see in her gaze if he looked carefully - she was as lost as she was in love with him.

“frank – we’re stuck in a nightmare hole, relying on the fact that our peers might do their jobs tonight and this is the moment you choose to tell me that, i want to believe you – by merlin, i want to believe you, tell me how to believe you” she didn’t want to be a confession he made in the darkness when this might be the last night they were alive, she wanted to be the choice he made under the sun - the one he made with hope. 

frank had been alone for so many years. growing up in that house, and unable to confide in his mum, so many things where he felt the most isolated. and he had always had alice, back in hogwarts, where it had always felt like home because she was there. he could blame the breakup on a lot of things, but it all lead back to just: himself. his insecurity, his feeling like that he was holding alice back, the feeling that no matter what he did being in his life and who his step father was would be putting alice in danger. he lived under death eaters, he dreaded going back for holidays and the summer, and by the time that he had graduated the war was already starting to brew and he had to be prepared for anything and he didn’t want alice to get lost in it because frank would fight back if it meant out of self preservation against his step father. he didn’t know how to tell her any of this without sounding mad or paranoid. 

“he’s always one step ahead. whenever think i get any leads on the crabbes they always find a way to out clever me,” he shoves his hand through his hair, trying to think about what he missed this time, and then it had occurred to him that he could find an advantage of just thinking like them, but he felt so weak and disgusting. “let’s hope they put two and two together.” he huffs. frank was normally on time, at least he tried to be, frank was a bit of a perfectionist when it came to things on the job so there were times when he would come in late just to get the job done but he was hoping that at least knowing alice they had a chance. merlin, he really couldn’t do much without alice, could he? she had always been so much better at spotting things than he had. and the only time he had ever blindsided her was by breaking up. it leaves something awful in the thick of his throat. 

you left me. it stings to hear, he winces, and looks away, wanting to cast a lumos or even a warming charm since it was so fucking cold down here, all the dark magic sucking the life out of him, if he really thought about it knowing how this place was probably riddled with a bit of everything. slow torture, just how they liked it. and he thinks of how he should be thinking about all of that but now he couldn’t even stop himself from not having this conversation. frank knew that there had been a selfishness about him, some may call it some kind of slytherin trademark, he never really did understand how he got sorted in there, but he supposed it must have been something other than some kind of self-preservation growing up in the home that he did, or how he may have been placed there out of survival, but he hadn’t fought it, did he? there was a part of frank that wanted to feel powerful because he had been so powerless, and never mind the sheer hot anger than ran through him when it came to injustice. and he’s gone distracted again, this bloody place. 

he holds his head in his hands, angry at every single situation they’re in right now. angry that he left in the first place, and not knowing where to even start. “i did.” he said, trying to make his voice even. “because i thought it was the right thing to do. and i meant what i said when we first became partners--it wasn’t anything you did. it was just... me. my own insecurities. afraid that i’d put you in danger somehow with who my extended family is--i don’t know--feeling like i was holding you back. but i saved all the letters i never wrote to you. sometimes i would just talk about my day, how much training sucked, how fucking tired i was, how lonely it is living alone, i would often ask you what you were doing- if any of our friends finally figured out what they wanted to do with themselves- with their future, how the quidditch team was doing, and how much i missed sneaking into your room just because i hated sleeping alone- all the mundane stuff too. i needed you too much, i knew that it wasn’t healthy- you were my only family and i guess that self destructiveness crept in my head and i ran with it because i’m a fucking idiot.” he laughs but there’s no humour to it. “but my feelings for you never changed, and when we first became partners i wanted to confess all of this, and even before we were partners i would still write letters and just never sent them because i figured you were better off and i know that this situation we’re in is fucked, but it would have come out sooner or later. i love you. that’s never changed, and won’t ever will.”

[poltcrgists]

sethcohcnaf​:

it had crossed her mind to sit this one out – she was a coward in all sense of the word, and it wasn’t because of the dangers that lay ahead or because she was now nearly sure this had been a trap, it was because she had been avoiding what had been in her. she had first thought it was familiarity, they had been in love - when someone finds their way in to your heart, even if it was years ago - do they ever really leave? they take a piece from you and as she had uncovered in the months they had been partners, she never really got over him. it had taken one instance where she had caught a glimpse of him – well within his right, living his life on what looked to be a date at the leaky cauldron and she couldn’t breathe. she was distracted – the last thing he needed in a partner in this critical position and yet here she was, her inability to send him off in to god knows what without her – she couldn’t fathom  that either. “you’re not wrong –” she muttered, back to reality, up the dark winding path - nothing about this place felt any semblance of warmth. “if they are keeping them alive - it’s to extract what they need too, once they are done - i doubt they would keep them for company” wincing slightly at how it sounded, but that was the job, wasn’t it? strip the emotion away and get to the facts and the reality was, death eaters were not in the business of being humane - empathy was now what drove them, they had a purpose - just not one that aligned with the law.

her brows furrowed - mildly curious, lips crinkling in to a smile that looked as if it radiated a glimpse of pride, “i don’t think i’ve heard you own that –” she murmured, and she couldn’t hold it against him - his mum – his childhood, it had been different to say the least and all she could have done growing up was reminding him of his worth. “vigilant? what are you moody–” she started, a scream soon following as they took a tumble down. “fuck –” she groaned, barely managing to land on her feet, she was crouched - better than getting her tailbone again. “lestrange certainly knows how to send a message –” she groaned, resting against the damp wall. “are you alright?” taking a step toward him, hand raised to nearly graze his cheek as she stopped herself – “fuck the mission, we need to get out of here”

all frank wanted was to be as a good of an auror that his father had been. he had heard stories about his dad, what good that became of him when he was one before his untimely death. he had hated how far he had pushed himself, but seeing as it was all that he had it was hard to make the distinction. he didn’t like putting alice in the way of war, but that was what their entire being was lately--war. people were going missing daily, and frank might not have understood many muggleborns but he knew that it wasn’t fair what was happening. he had kept a close eye on his step father and step brother, it was very clear the message they were setting. it had been so much easier, in hogwarts, when alice and frank were dating, they hadn’t been in the same house but alice had reminded him daily that just because he had been chosen slytherin didn’t mean he was like them, but now looking at these walls and knowing how much dark magic threaded through them it was all he could think about. if he had less a mind he would have turned them back, but frank was still in this war, wanted to win it to prove, not all slytherins were like this, not all people were ever this bad, but it was proving to fail in the slightest. 

“we could’ve been having drinks by now, merlin,” he says as a joke to alice, looking at her with all the love that he could muster. he remembers the time that he had met with another herbologist, and having som feign hope that maybe despite everything she had felt the same way about him again, but he had held all those reservations, they were partners, and maybe that’s all they would be. but when the ground collapsed he was having a hard time breathing. “this was a trap,” he says, trying to figure their way out of this without magic to make it worse. “i think we need to get out of here the old fashioned way,” without wands unless they wanted to make it worse, “i’m sorry al,” he mutters, not that it was his fault for his mother marrying into this, but he still felt like he should have caught it. they would be down here for hours trying to figure a way out. “i guess its comforting to know that if voldemort wanted us dead he would have already done it by now,” it was a bleak mention, and little did frank know what he had meant by it, they would, eventually, defy voldemort three times and this was just the first. 

“obviously magic makes it worse, i think we’re going to dig from the ground up on how to get out of here. this bloody safe house,” he muttered. as long as they didn’t use magic they’d be fine, and frank didn’t realize how much he relied on magic to be good at his bloody job. he had been trying for a while now to get them out of this situation but nothing prevailed, he had hoped that by now the ministry of magic would see that two of their aurors didn’t make it back in time for their next shift and would eventually get whoever to try and find them, that’s what he was hoping for, to get them out of this mess. it had been a long time since he and alice had been in a situation where there was nothing to do but just wait. 

he had found himself sitting in the rubble, trying to keep his mind busy as they waited for the ( hopeful ) backup, when he decided to finally breach the question. “you know i haven’t dated since we broke up,” he had been looking at his hands, “at least not seriously,” he further concluded. “i could’ve- but just never did because...” because i had been madly in love with you, even after we ended... “when you saw me at the leaky cauldron it wasn’t a date,” he sighs at himself thinking that she might have been jealous, but she probably hadn’t been. “i don’t have many friends, but she had a plant for me that i had wanted for a long time now, it’s not often i run across exotic herbologists and she had exactly what i needed. i had thought of breeding the plant to give to you as a birthday gift but...” he shakes his head now in a laugh. “we know how this job is, all the plants i’ve loved have died because i’m barely home i guess it’s just to go to say is, you’ve always been it for me.”

[poltcrgists]

@sethcohcnaf​

frank knew that it was suspicious the day that rodolphus had given him a case that had to do with the death eaters. it felt like a trap from the start, at least in his gut he knew that something was definitely off. and as it turned out despite frank and alice’s past they were a damn good team when it came down to it. they had solved so many cases in their partnership and it was like the other knew what the other was thinking when it came to life or death decisions on the job. he had told alice from the start that it had felt fishy to him, the whole thing really, and it was like all the clues were slowly starting to add up. “i think i know where one of their safe houses is. i’m pretty sure it’s inactive but if they’re anything like the order safe houses then there’s definitely some hidden magic to keep others out. but so many people have gone missing maybe they’re just hiding them or something but i can’t imagine for what- it’s not their usual tactics.” he had been muttering off, “it just feels off,” he had later said, and now here they were on the way to the safe house and frank felt every single piece of him on edge as they made their way. “i have an emergency portkey but i don’t know--” he was mumbling again. 

there was a huge gate in front of them now and he looked over at alice. “i guess the good thing about being placed in slytherin is knowing how they think, don’t touch the knob.” he had casted alohomara and it opened the door, “i guess another good thing living under the vincent crabbe ii and iii is knowing how they work in terms of dark magic,” it was a very interesting childhood, one that augusta had raised a blind eye to when vincent ii & iii began training, it was cruel, hearing his step brother go through the type of drills his dad had put him through, frank often stayed in his bedroom and hoped to god that frank wouldn’t be a target, but the war was heating up in a bad way, too many people were missing and voldemort was on the move and he couldn’t help but think that maybe something was going on knowing how close his ties to the two death eaters. it wasn’t like they didn’t care to show their mark to frank for family dinners but he had been going to those less and less out of his own protection. by the time they had stepped food in the house he had his wand out, “you can just feel the dark magic. i don’t know where their traps would be but we just have to stay vigilant.” when he had casted lumos the ground shook and they fell and were now trapped. “fuck!” he called out, he was blindsided that he didn’t think that a single spell inside the house wouldn’t set something off. it was definitely targeted. “i think magic makes it worse. fuck.” fuck. 

[poltcrgists]

cnlyheartbreaker​:

Alec wants to whine when Zia scoots away from him, but there’s something in her tone that stops him in his tracks, realising that everything is not as it should be. Instead he forces his eyes open, tracking her movements around the room as she changes into her pyjamas, the fond tilt of his mouth tempered by the crease of concern between his brows. “I can hear you thinking from here,” he says softly, hoping it’ll prompt her to talk to him. Zia has always been guarded - she had to be, to survive her upbringing - but Alec always wants to hear what she has to say. He would never use the softer pieces of her as a weapon.

She gets back onto the bed, and he waits, watching the play of emotions across her face. People have commented in the past that Zia seems cold or unfeeling, but those people just don’t know how to read her, and Alec has dedicated years of his life to the practice. He decided a long time ago that he wanted to know everything about her, and to understand her as best as he could. The non-descript answer to his question is a clear segue into whatever she’s about to tell him, but nothing could’ve prepared him for what Zia says next.

For a moment, Alec thinks he might still be dreaming, and he knows he must look completely blindsided. They’re always safe, so how can she be pregnant? He thinks back on all the times they’ve slept together in the past few months, wondering which one had led them here, but trying to work out the math makes his head swim. It’s not that he isn’t happy - on the contrary, it feels like his heart’s about to burst out of his chest - but… Zia’s crying. Zia never cries. She doesn’t want it. 

The beat between the initial announcement and her next sentence feels like it stretches on for eternity, and as Zia swipes at her tears, Alec knows it’s time for him to say something. “Mi vida,” he says gently, reaching to take her hands in his, hoping to god that his voice won’t crack and betray him. It’s up to him to hold it together, to make her feel okay about their situation, whatever the outcome. “Stuff like this… I don’t think it ever feels convenient, you know? That’s just life. But…” Alec swallows, “We don’t have to go through with it if you don’t want to. There’ll be other times.” It’ll break his heart a little, but he knows he can bear it, and that’s what he’ll do.

Alec lifts her hands to his lips, pressing a careful kiss to each one. “How long have you known?” How long has she been dealing with this alone?

zia was complicated—complicated to know, even more complicated to love. she didn’t hold her heart on her sleeve and was generally unpleasant to be around if you didn’t know her. she knew that all these things were due to her upbringing and not wanting to let someone in because she was scared what they would find. it had always been that way, but alec had somehow always been to exception. she had tried to push him away before, but when it came down to it zia was a wildly jealous and selfish person when it came to him, and she still didn’t understand why- despite all of that- he was still here when she called. whenever anyone in her family called. she had never devoted herself to anyone as much as she had to him, and she knew that he could tell something was wrong, she was cagey, her walls coming back up, she should have known that something was going to happen because things had been going too well. it’s a fucked up way to think but that’s how she saw her life. it was incredibly annoying how she could predict something bad happening but she was happy. 

she wants to shrug him off and run away, she also wants to crawl inside him to where she couldn’t find herself anymore. “i keep fucking up your life,” she laughs, wiping her eyes. really all she could think about was how much his mom did not like her, how even now he was here when he should have been home with his own brother. how they both had so much to lose because both of their families meant so much to both of them. he should be home right now, he should be a lot of things but zia was finding it hard to stay calm right now. like, what is your mom going to say? what is my mom going to say? how can we afford to do this?

it was never zia not wanting to be a mom, she just didn’t think that she was very motherly despite having raised her siblings, she had to out of obligation, even if she did love him it was still different. it was having a child that was completely her own, on top of all the genetics, all the fucked up trauma from her mom and dad, she couldn’t imagine having a very happy baby even if that wasn’t how it works. she bite her bottom lip looking away. “i don’t know,” she whispered, pulling her legs up she rested her chin on her knee. she didn’t think she deserved his affection. “what do you want?” she asked, she wanted him to be honest with her. too many times had he probably taken the brunt of her coldness out of her feeling like either a burden or to save herself from hurt. she was tired of consistently hurting him without meaning to. “you can tell me honestly.” 

when he asks how long she’s known she sighs, “today officially. but i maybe have known for a while. my body has just been... off, i don’t know. maybe a month but was too scared to take a test just trying to maybe blame it on this clinical rotation but...” she looks at him again. “you want this don’t you.” despite what people said about her, she did know him, and knew that he would do just about anything to make her happy, and knew that at some point he did want a family despite all of zia’s reservations about making one of their own that wasn’t either of their siblings. she had wanted those things too she just couldn’t get past the wall of : i would be a very bad mother. i didn’t even have a mother, how can i be someone elses? 

[poltcrgists]

cnlyheartbreaker​:

Alec is dead asleep, having long-since mastered the ability of screening the noises that permeate Zia’s family home to determine whether or not they need his attention - he knows the difference between a danger scream and a regular scream almost as well as she does, at this point.

At the press of Zia’s lips to the nape of his neck, he stirs from his dreams with a soft smile, rolling over in the circle of her arms and slinging one of his own around her waist without ever opening his eyes. “Hey, nena,” Alec mumbles softly, pushing his sleep-warm face into the crook of her neck. “I did,” he continues, “But Celeste called me when I was picking him up from little league, and asked if I’d come back here after my mom got home.” Which he’d done without question, in spite of how guilty he’d felt when he’d explained where he was going to his mother - as if he hadn’t made Leo’s dinner and let him kick his ass at Fortnite for an hour before he finally put him to bed. As if he hadn’t done all the stuff he was supposed to before tending to his own affairs. As if he was a bad son for wanting to hang out with his girlfriend and her family.

“How was your shift? There’s leftover chilli in the fridge if you’re hungry, or I can make you a grilled cheese…” He offers, though his voice is hazy, already half asleep again with the comfort of knowing Zia is close by.

it was endearing that he came when anyone else in her family called, even if there was guilt that came with it. they both often stretched themselves thin for the people that they loved and she hated being one of the people on the list. it felt like too much, and that’s what made this conversation they’re about to have so hard. she didn’t know why she particularly felt this way, but she had a whole shift to grapple with it. it had started not that long ago, the suspicion, it had been the fatigue at first but she had many excuses for that, then the nausea, which she clocked right after a missed period. all things that could have been due to stress but her body was about as consistent as she was something was off. she had confided in a coworker, and they had done a blood draw on their lunch, and by the time she finished her shift she knew. 

“let me change before you nestle,” she jokes, trying to keep her voice light but it wasn’t really working all that great for her. she could hear something dropping in another room but couldn’t get herself to care all that much. they were all perfectly capable of cleaning something up, plus it felt like her throat was about to constrict again. she wanted to cry, which was a rare feeling, she hardly ever cried but her mood swings were irritable as of late. she pressed a kiss to his forehead before quickly getting into a big t-shirt and then sitting upright across from alec, wanting to reach out but feeling all of a sudden very timid and shy. or as if she had done something wrong even though she didn’t. she had been thinking of what she was going to say, but more importantly thinking, what were they going to do? their families needed them too much, it seemed selfish to want to pursue anything given that leo was still young, and then she thought about his mom and how fucking complicated that was going to be. and then she thought of her own mom who had fucked off again, she sighs, running a hand over her face before finally meeting his eyes. when he asks about work she shrugs, her fingers tapping against her own skin. “fine, just..” oh fucksake, she just needed to spit it out. 

“i’m pregnant.” she let it breathe for a moment before continuing. “and it comes at such an inconvenient time, fuck,” she wipes her eyes shaking her head, angry at herself for starting to crying. 

[poltcrgists]

@cnlyheartbreaker​​

it wasn’t news that being a nursing student was hard, what was news was how she heavily dependent on alec, or what kind of chaos her siblings would leave her in her wake. balancing life, school, and siblings was no easy process, and she had felt torn trying to break herself into three so they could all be happy. it didn’t matter that her brothers had now known better, they were more jaded by the world due to their mom, but zia had always been the parental figure, and she had half a mind of dropping out of nursing school. she had a late shift at the hospital with her internship and by the time she had made it back home she was surprised to see alec there. she had quickly gotten ready for bed before she got into her actual bed, ignoring the sounds of her siblings screaming at each other, but it wasn’t anything life or death and that was honestly all she could ask for. she splayed herself on his back, whispering in his ear, “you could have gone home hours ago,” she pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “especially because of your brother.”

[poltcrgists]

@cnlyheartbreaker​​

there are many things that eren has gotten used to. one of which, is jamie’s hot and cold personality, that he had grown to love over the last ten, eleven, or even twelve years that he has known him. it was, if eren was being honest, the longest not-a-relationship-that he has had with jamie. and if you were to ask him, they had endured a lot. to jamie wanting him, to jamie being engaged, to eren ignoring him and finding his place with men that would have never known him the way that jamie did. it was a complicated matter. but he had never judged jamie, maybe he should have, but he could never think that way. it seemed that their most vulnerable times were when the other were in times of distress; a bad call, one would find the other, but in this time, eren hadn’t even gotten out of his uniform when james and liya had asked him out for drinks with coworkers. he hadn’t thought that jamie would have shown up, though he had invited him to come, it was obvious to everyone around them except jamie and erern, and when he had seen the other he had taken a drink of his beer before saddling up to the other at the bar. “can we get another round?” he said with a small smile to the bartender before he had looked at the other. “i didn’t think you would come.” but eren was naive and desperate for jamie’s attention. 

[poltcrgists]

@cnlyheartbreaker​

this was hard, and they wouldn’t even downplay how hard it was being at jason’s bachelor party that they had been planning for weeks on end to make it as perfect for their best friend who was about to be married. if haneul were a better person they would have given it up a long time ago, but they didn’t, just persevered because it was clear that cassie made jason happy despite whatever feeling that haneul felt. people were drunk, floating in and out of the airbnb that jason had rented for the weekend. there was always someone who was doing shots, and haneul had never been much of a good drinker most trips, always having been the one that was the most responsible, often thinking of his own mother who had drilled it into him. he smoked a cigarette and thought, why are you feeling this way? you made the life you always wanted for yourself, what was going? he shook his thoughts before regrouping with the party and sitting himself down next to the groom-to-be. “is everything you expected as you expected to be?” they questioned, grabbing the pack of cigarettes from their pocket again, god when was he such a chain smoker?. “tried to get every single thing that interested you back when we were kids in this bachelor party,” they joke. as long as jason was happy, haneul was happy. 

[poltcrgists]

@cnlyheartbreaker​​

it had seemed that no matter what happened, hawkins would throw them in some kind of loop. mike was tired, but now that everyone was back from their trips from the hospital and mike had shown up at his house for however allotted amount of time that made his mom happy he was already packing a bag to make his way to the byers-hopper house. it was easy, if he had imagined himself to be when they were younger, to sleep over at one another’s house. mike couldn’t imagine a time where will didn’t exist, and his mom seemed to know that. he had driven there, long gone were the days of biking over to the other’s place, he had said hi to joyce before finding himself in will’s room plopping down on their bed, and when they finally showed up he smiled. “surprise, i’m here,” he had dumped everything that he had brought which was: his toothbrush, a pack of cards, some sleeping pyjamas and a mixtape that jonathan had taught him how to make before it was important. “figured you could use some company,” but it wasn’t the only reason, but he couldn’t put a word or name to it, at least not right now. “it’s been a long time since we had a proper sleepover,”

[poltcrgists]

sethcohcnaf​:

the green little monster in her nearly came to brink as she had watched him leave earlier today - alice knew she had no right. there was no logic to the ache she had felt on tuesday night as she had passed by the leaky cauldron, quick snack was what she had intended before she retired back to her flat but the sight of him laughing with a lass had her reeling and scurrying off snack-less. they were friends – it had taken so long to come back to what they were and that little green monster was ready to throw it all away – 

she glanced up as she heard footsteps, surprised to say the least he had returned back on a friday night but she didn’t move, less alone offer any acknowledgement - embarassement crept at her as she couldn’t bare to meet his gaze as worked away. if she was lucky - he had just simply forgotten something. 

@poltcrgists​

frank had been in contact with one of the best herbologist in wizard london, and when she said that she had an opening to meet him about one of the plants that he could procure he had to meet her. he was a bit giddy about all of it, really. herbology had been one of his top three classes but he had never pursued due to wanting to be an auror but the love was still there. it hadn’t taken him long to quickly get out the door to try and meet her, the meeting he had made him a little late but that was fun. and the whole hour had been spent on talking about these plants before they came to an agreement. frank would pick the plant up by the end of the week. and when they parted he knew that he had to go back for a late night at the office. they were still trying to work a case and frank would never let alice down. 

he had smiled as he came through the door, half expecting her to be gone but not surprised that she was still here. he had sat down on his cheer, a little giddy about everything. “i just purchased a new plant for my house,” he began to say, thinking tha they could share things like that now that they were friends. plus, herbology had been something that they had loved to do together and if he was being honest? it was half the reason why he had gone so he could share it with alice. “i got us coffees, by the way,” he had slid her the coffee order that he had known all too well and opened the case file. but he had given himself one selfish quick look towards her and noticed that she seemed... low, or sad. he didn’t know anymore. “are you okay?”

[poltcrgists]

ofdcydreams​:

         tatum  was  partial  to  the  fact  that  being  an  adult  kept  you  busy  ,  especially  with  work  involved  but  it  never  became  easier  to  spend  so  much  time  away  from  her  best  friend .  she  thought  of  haneul  often  ,  even  in  passing  when  something  reminded  her  of  him  but  it  feels  like  the  opposite  for  him  .  she  always  becomes  close  to  swearing  haneul  off  -  much  to  the  encouragement  by  her  co-workers  that  she  could  definitely  do  better  and  pinning  after  someone  always  led  to  heart  break  but  he’d  call  and  she  was  always  back .  her  hopes  would  be  lifted  in  his  presence and  crushed  in  the  absence  afterwards  but  the  crash  always  felt  worth  it .  there  was  no  doubt  of  the  love  there  .  

   so  she  spends  her  weekend  off  from  work  to  help  haneul  and  their  sister  ,  staying  by  their  side  as  she  uses  the  last  of  the  tape  to  close  a  box .  her  eyes  are  redirected  when  haneul  speaks  and  the  sight  of  the  half  empty  bottle  of  liquor  makes  her  laugh  almost  immediately .  ❝  you  can  hardly  all  the  blame  on  me  -  ❞  tatum  says  pointedly  though  the  smile  still  curves  her  glossed lips .  she  reaches  for  the  smirnoff  ,  tilting  the  aged  glass  to  the  side  as  the  memory  imprints  her  mind .  ❝  most  people  get  violently  sick  their  first  time  drinking  ,  but  you  took  it  like  a  champ . ❞   her  arm  extends  forward  to  haneul  then .   ❝  yuna  gets  home  with  the  lot  and  for  some  reason ,  it  made  sense  to  us  to  throw  in  the  closet .  just  shows  you  that  she  never  cleaned  the  closet  like  she  was  told  to  many  times  or  else  we  would  have  been  caught . ❞ 

things would always be hard between the two and they just had to accept that. looking back at all the things they would be selling was hard, it had felt like yuna was getting rid of all of it so she wouldn’t have to remember, and maybe all of that was true. haneul couldn’t blame her for it, but there was a part of him that wanted to cling to the pain because it was easier. their lives were so different now and going through old things they have gone through together was hard. it had taken year for his parents to go through his brother’s room after realizing: he was never coming back, and if he did he would never be the same, or he was dead. but his sister was finally becoming someone, and he would always feel that jealousy of that. even if he was a doctor now, the feelings would never leave of being someone his parent’s could be proud of.

“i felt like i was dying that night, what do you mean,” he accuses with a laugh. it had been the first time that he had been properly drunk without restrictions. most of the time haneul had been the DD for his friends, showing up at their most vulnerable moments, but that night had been different. his sister wasn’t that much younger than them, and he remembers feeling like they had been on top of the world back then. things had been less complicated, he might have been still been in love with tatum but it wasn’t as strong as it was now. he misses that time and place. despite the cops being called on their party it had been a good time. they finally felt like a normal teenager and person, but they knew it was all because of tatum who included them despite it all. 

“i think she would have kept the promise anyway.” just like she kept everything. just like she kept haneul’s feelings for tatum. which was no secret to anyone who ever paid attention to them. 

[poltcrgists]

@ofdcydreams​​

this is how it ends: slowly and painfully. when the dark lord said that the next to die would be the mckinnon’s arden had stood at the long table with her arms crossed, showing no expression to the name. it had been years since she had been involved with the dark lord, the dark mark taking up half of her arm, but her feelings much more conflicted than usual. it would be easy to kill half of tristan’s family but never tristan himself. tristan was her friend—her best friend—she didn’t care about anyone else. the fact that she had to take part in murdering his family made her want to throw up. but these were the choices that she had made to protect her own son—if she didn’t do this—they would kill theo—kill her—but she had already been a dead woman—she just didn’t know it yet. tristan had two children on the way with emme she had been trying to think of the logistics of this, of what would happen to them and she knew that if there was one thing she could do was this: protect them. even if she couldn’t protect tristan himself. she chose the fidelius charm. the day the attack was planned she looked for tristan himself almost in a hurry, the worst part was having to act like it was just an easy drop by to see him, with the war brewing on and arden getting more and more distant with tristan he had to know something was up. when she had finally reached him her face was solemn. “i brought by gifts for your twins.” she says, her hands shaking. “i wanted to give them the world but i chose at least a couple things you’d need.” theo was still a baby, and in the end it didn’t matter what she brought. he would never get to live to see them. “i know i didn’t have twins but theo is a handful,” her words are quick and messy, she wants to tell him but she can’t. “you’re going to be such a great father to them, tristan.”