oozey mess
KIROKAZE
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Kiana Khansmith
tannertan36
todays bird
Love Begins
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies
taylor price
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
NASA
trying on a metaphor
if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Show & Tell
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@polybbgrlbunny
If your profile is blank, I will block you. If you don't state your age, I will block you. If you are a minor, I will block you. If your blog is ONLY skinny girls doing porn, I will block you. Yes, I look at every blog that follows me.
Fantasy VS Reality
Fantasy: Shove your cock down my throat and choke me on it. Face fuck and make me gasp for air.
Reality: I gag really easy. I have so much trauma from gagging at the dentist as a child that it causes fear when I give head. But I LOVE giving blow jobs. I will push my limits and gag myself on Daddy's cock, but it took two years working together to earn a level of trust that allows me to do that, and to find where my limit it is so he knows exactly how hard he can or can't push me while I worship his cock.
This... this is the difference between the vision of BDSM... or sex, in general... that Porn gives us versus Reality... this is the real world... the two years we have spent together working on this has been a journey... it didn't always go well... it took communication and patience and love... and it's all worth it... and she continues to grow and learn and thrive because she know she is perfectly free in her pursuit of her very best submissive self.
Gosh Daddy @sdmackdaddy, always slaying me with the commentary. 💖
That reality is so many times more beautiful than the vision of BDSM.
That is so me. It took me nearly three years with Daddy to get comfortable gagging.
It had slipped my mind to tell a Dominant I was dating that cum in my mouth and throat is a hard limit. I had a trauma-related meltdown mid-scene, sobbed hysterically, and was horribly embarrassed by both the oversight and the behavior. I'd spent the year before in an emotionally abusive and Chernobyl-level toxic relationship, so I was expecting the absolute worst.
They'd seen me after scenes where I looked worse than the time I was hit by a car, watched me jump up and volunteer to demo bottom, and heard a couple of my darker fantasies by this point. They couldn't have had any clue why I was panicking over oral, why I was crying, shaking my head, shying away. So they stopped everything, got on the floor with me, and asked if they could give me a hug. I felt so guilty, I almost said no, and nodded yes for their sake. They were holding me while I was crying on the floor, telling me to never do anything that made me feel this way, and they'd like to know what was going on in my head when I was ready.
I've had the hottest scenes and a beautiful relationship with that Dominant because of that incident, not in spite of it.
needed to be said!
For some reason most men I have been with have some form of erectile disfunction. I really don't give a fuck. I'd like them to be honest with me before hand so I know what I'm getting into, but even without prior knowledge, it's ok. Sometimes things just don't work the way you want them to, regardless of what kind of genitalia you possess. Sex doesn't have to mean penetration. Sex doesn't have to end with an orgasm. Sex doesn't have to include orgasm at all. Sex is just as valid with hands, and mouths, and toys. Bottom line, you don't have to be embarrassed about the way your penis functions, and I'm sorry if society made you feel that way.
Fantasy VS Reality
Fantasy: Shove your cock down my throat and choke me on it. Face fuck and make me gasp for air.
Reality: I gag really easy. I have so much trauma from gagging at the dentist as a child that it causes fear when I give head. But I LOVE giving blow jobs. I will push my limits and gag myself on Daddy's cock, but it took two years working together to earn a level of trust that allows me to do that, and to find where my limit it is so he knows exactly how hard he can or can't push me while I worship his cock.
This... this is the difference between the vision of BDSM... or sex, in general... that Porn gives us versus Reality... this is the real world... the two years we have spent together working on this has been a journey... it didn't always go well... it took communication and patience and love... and it's all worth it... and she continues to grow and learn and thrive because she know she is perfectly free in her pursuit of her very best submissive self.
Gosh Daddy @sdmackdaddy, always slaying me with the commentary. 💖
Language Matters
4.7.23
Daddy is going away with his new person this weekend. It's caused me to feel some insecurity because it's a bit of a step up in their relationship. All my fears where Daddy is concerned involve me becoming irrelevant, or less important to him. These are insecurities and I know in my head that I will always be important to him and that he will always need me for me, because I offer things no other person can, and he loves those things about me. Before he left yesterday he was checking in with me about how I was feeling. I said I was ok and trying not to over think things. In an effort to reassure me he says, "Remember, you are the one with the collar." And while it's important for me to be reminded that I am owned and loved, the way it was phrased made my skin crawl a little. It gave me status above his new person that she had not earned. And I didn't like that at all, because even if she isn't owned, she is still important. There is no level of status between us. I corrected him, "Remember you have my collar." It gives the same message of reassurance and ownership without putting one person above the other. It's a small change in language, but one I think is deeply important. She is cared for, and one day may also be owned. She will still be important on that day and so will I.
needed to be said!
For some reason most men I have been with have some form of erectile disfunction. I really don't give a fuck. I'd like them to be honest with me before hand so I know what I'm getting into, but even without prior knowledge, it's ok. Sometimes things just don't work the way you want them to, regardless of what kind of genitalia you possess. Sex doesn't have to mean penetration. Sex doesn't have to end with an orgasm. Sex doesn't have to include orgasm at all. Sex is just as valid with hands, and mouths, and toys. Bottom line, you don't have to be embarrassed about the way your penis functions, and I'm sorry if society made you feel that way.
Sorry for spam but I forgot to post all these. 🍼👼✨
attention hits different when u don't have to beg for it
I love people who make others feel seen, heard, appreciated, supported, and loved. People with gorgeous hearts, open minds & gentle energy. The rare gems who make you feel deeply understood, give you total freedom to be yourself and make you feel beautiful, just for being YOU.
Real D/s versus 50 Shades of Tumblr Porn…
Random acts of Dominance are just another form of “maintenance.”
Life and stress just happen. Sometimes this simple act, that takes no more than 15 minutes, can recenter me – like catching a second wind in the middle of the week.
I’ve seen several discussions on maintenance spankings recently. But it doesn’t have to be only spankings. Something as simple as pinning nipples, feeling the tug of the leash, and kneeling will quiet the mind, and recenter the Dynamic.
Never underestimate the power of random acts of Dominance. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy or even sadomasochistic. It can be as easy as walking by and just grabbing a neck or throat for a minute while holding the gaze. A quick grab of the hair followed by a simple kiss on the forehead. So many little random acts of Dominance.
One of my favorites from her! 💜
Hair pulling will settle and soothe me.
I know it can seem cliché, or even cheesy.
But the magic of D/s really is found in communication. In my view, the most powerful thing a Dominant can do for their sub is to make themselves a really safe person for their sub to be extremely vulnerable with…and the best thing a sub can do for the dynamic is to be really honest.
If you can both throw out expectations of what you feel you ‘should’ be or what you wish you were for whatever reason, and instead be really honest about who you actually are. What makes you tick, what makes you feel dominant or submissive (in extreme detail), what turns you on, what scares you, what makes you insecure, what triggers you have, what shortcomings you have, what makes you feel loved, what builds your confidence, etc etc etc. Once you know each other in extreme detail, you can customize your interactions to hit all the right buttons and avoid all the wrong ones and it feels like magic.
Hi Amy, I really like your blog and love reading about your experience. But sometimes your experience sound more like vanilla than Ds. I am happy you have carrying husband who look after you, but do you think that in normal relationship husband don't care about his wife or remind her about medicine or her food choice or get angry when she didn't take care herself.
You may need to try normal relationships and you will find whatever you are writing everything are there. If in a normal sex they spank, pull hair and etc.
Even in normal relationship sometime male dominate and make most of decision. But we can't call it Ds.
I am sorry. I just like to read more Ds versions of your experience. Rough sex isn't Ds. Just carrying about each other isn't Ds.
If you don't use ropes, chains, collar and rules what's point. It's like going in theme party wearing pretty dress and come back and tell your friends, oh we went to those party we are fun. Common just write something that sound Ds or just re-evaluate your relationship.
Is it really there or it's just in your mind?
I'm not sure if you were trying to disguise yourself as kind to me, or if you were trying to trick yourself into believing that you weren't being nasty so you can sleep tonight? Either way, beginning your ask by complimenting me doesn't make the rest of it acceptable.
I'm choosing to ignore that and try to answer although after speaking to me this way you really don't deserve my time. I'm choosing to reply because one of my weak spots is, I hate being misunderstood.
There are (or at least used to be) plenty of tumblr D/s blogs that only share blatant D/s experiences - the really intense, rough stuff. I primarily follow other blogs who write about their ordinary D/s experiences, I'm annoyed by edgelord BDSM people so I don't know for sure, but I have to imagine you can find that content out there if that's what you want. You won't find it on my blog.
I made a decision pretty early on with this blog that I didn't want to only share the "obviously D/s-y" stuff. My goal was to show a whole relationship, not just the intense D/s parts.
Of course, my relationship is just one way of doing D/s. Part of my D/s style with my partner is, we like feeling like normal people for the most part. We like low protocol, especially with language. He asks me to do things, I ask him if he 'minds' if I do things - but I know when he makes requests when they are actual requests and when they're orders. He knows when I ask what he thinks on something, that I'm seeking permission. We feel the power exchange with ordinary language.
More than that, all D/s relationships have moments that don't look D/s. My personal view is that the blogs that choose to only share the intense BDSM stuff can sometimes paint a picture that D/s is supposed to be ALL about kink and power exchange. That their whole world revolves around cuffs, plugs and paddles. That isn't what makes up anyone's whole life, though.
So, yes, I share moments that aren't oozing with intense D/s. That's on purpose! No blog can ever share someone's whole life, it's always going to be edited or curated some. But I intentionally try to share some sexy moments, some funny moments, some sweet moments, some intense power exchange moments, and so on. I try to show that our 24/7 D/s is lots of things. Much of my D/s is subtle. I have never pretended to be into extreme BDSM or extreme D/s either one. "This is just how we love each other while living pretty ordinary lives." is literally part of my bio.
My view is that most terms related to kink or BDSM are largely made up. If you asked 100 people where D/s ends and vanilla begins, you'd likely get 100 different answers.
It doesn't make any difference to me or my life if you define D/s in some way that means I am not included in that definition. I'm not sure why you think your definition of D/s is one that all others should be held to?
I get the sense that you think that if something is common or "normal" then it can't be D/s. I just completely disagree with that. I don't think D/s has to be rare or "alternative lifestyle" to be D/s. I don't think what makes a relationship D/s is about who makes most of the decisions. I think there are some relationships were one person (of any gender, for the record) makes most of the decisions but I wouldn't see the relationship as D/s. In fact, a lot of abusive relationships can involve one person making a lot of decisions, and those aren't D/s. Boss/employee relationships and parent/child relationships also follow that model, but that's just how the world we live in works. It doesn't make those D/s relationships. They're just relationships with power imbalances. To me, whether a relationship with a leader and a follower is D/s or not is all about if you've both enthusiastically agreed to who leads and who follows.
You seem to think my relationship exclusively involves rough sex and caring for each other. That isn't the case. I have rules, expectations, protocols, etc. However, I still just disagree with you about those things being essential for D/s. I think D/s can be as simple as two people agreeing that one is 'the leader' and the other is 'the follower' and them choosing to exchange power. It doesn't have to be rules or whips or chains or anything in particular.
Even as far as kink goes, I don't think what makes something BDSM (or D/s) isn't as simple as what the act includes. To me D/s is power exchange, and most any sort of sex acto or kink can be done within power exchange, or it could be done without power exchange. Rough sex, oral sex, spanking, bondage, etc included. I can have soft, gentle sex that includes power exchange.
If you disagree or this doesn't make sense to you, that's fine, but you have no business telling me what to do with my blog, or how to identify my relationship.
Well that was one hell of an answer, and I can't do any better, but I want to address one thing nonny said. "If you don't use ropes, chains, collar and rules what's the point?"
The point is the relationship. It's about the exchange. It's not about ropes and chains and collars. It's about existing in balance with your partner. One gives and one takes. The very heart of D/s relationships is the RELATIONSHIP. It just happens to be a relationship where one agrees to lead and the other agrees to follow. How that exchange is executed has very little to do with what it is. The ways to practice D/s are as diverse as the people who practice. Don't ever let anyone tell you the "right way" to do it because there is no mold that fits everyone.
I agree with everything Amy and polybabygirl said, and would like to elaborate on the points they made so eloquently.
Ropes and chains and whips and so on are kink, not D/s. Often, but not always, these things go together but they can be done apart.
Just as it is possible to have kinky sex with no power exchange, it is possible to do an entire D/s scene with no toys, and no implements other than hands and a voice.
Imagine: The dominant partner orders the submissive partner to move, or to stop moving, and what position to stay in. The dominant partner then whispers fantasies into the submissive's ear, and teases and stimulates the submissive. The dominant orders the submissive to beg for orgasm, and the dominant chooses when to pull back and delay the orgasm and when to finally grant it, if at all.
Yike. What a rude ask and what utterly elegant clapbacks from Amy, polybabygirlbunny, and plussizedlgprincess-alana. Asker, that's just not how you approach human people. Touch grass and learn to communicate respectfully please. However, and this is with every ounce of respect to amysubmits and all the amazing subs on this thread because this is in no way reflecting on them and their relationships, asker brought up (poorly, inelegantly, rudely, and almost accidentally) a point that really resonated with me as a Lesbian in a visibly homosexual relationship and I'd like to go off on it a little. Again, I don't mean to step on any toes or derail, but Rude Asker unintentionally stumbled on something that gets me going I really want to make this point.
"In a normal relationship". Oh what a loaded set of words.
Rude Asker used that phrase a lot. I want to break down some of the things Rude Asker said were normal and how their assumptions of what's normal reflect some damaging effects of heteronormativity.
"do you think that in a normal relationship husband don't care about his wife and remind her about medicine or her food choice or get angry when she didn't take care herself?"
Ok. We've established that Rude Asker's (henceforth refered to as RA) idea of a "Normal" relationship is heterosexual. I'm somehow not surprised, but that's a whole 'nother can of homophobic worms! We've also established that in RA's opinion, a level of self maintenance is expected of the woman in the relationship by the man in the relationship and neglecting that is justifiable cause for his anger. Now I am of the opinion that enforcement of expectations for one partners body by another partner definitely fall into the realm of Kink Dynamics. RA however, believes this is a part of a normal heterosexual relationship. Unfortunately that's often true.
"...in a normal sex they spank, pull hair and etc."
Nah....that's kinky sex. When you begin to introduce painplay you're firmly in the real of kink. If you're not treating and negotiating it like kink you're just doing BAD kink. Which is, again, unfortunately common.
"Even in normal relationship sometimes male dominate and make most of decision."
Ah. Yes. I believe that's called toxic patriarchal standards and a failure of society to value the contributions of women equally. That's a BAD thing, normal or not.
Now, RA's allegation that Amy's relationship isn't a D/s dynamic are based on the above claims, alleging that a heterosexual male-led relationship with rough sex and expectations of obedience to certain standards on the woman's part and elements of caretaking on the man's part is a "Normal Relationship" and not a unique dynamic.
Problem is RA isn't entirely wrong. That pattern is NOT an abnormal one in relationships. Women in heterosexual relationships are often held to standards that differ from D/s dynamics only in that they are not negotiated openly between the involved partners, not using D/s rules and communication tools to ensure that everyone's needs are met, and not adhering to the watchwords "Safe, Sane, and Consensual". This is a societal problem. And yes, I may have issues with the amount of heteronormativity that can be assumed in kink communities, the presumed universality of heteronormative dynamics in D/s conversations, and in the phallocentric language of kink, but GODDAMNIT my heterosexual sisters in submission are doing something very very right that many heterosexual women struggle to do in their relationships. They are entering into their relationships mindfully. They are prenegotiating their expectations with their partners. They are advocating for their own needs and expecting a standard of responsibility in their partners. They are communicating at the higher standard that we in the queer community expect in our relationships! And by putting all this work into their D/s relationships, they are, ironically, creating a stronger and more equal foundation for a stable, satisfying, long term partnership than vanilla people who rely on assumed patriarchal societal norms to dictate the terms of their "Normal" relationship. It's not the whips and chains that make BDSM. It's not even the rules and protocols. It's the ADVANCED level of communication that it takes to make it all work that really sets the BDSM community apart.
RA, and anyone who agrees with them, if you are looking at your vanilla, "Normal" relationship and finding it comparable to Amy's expertly negotiated long term D/s dynamic, or any BDSM dynamic in a way that suggests to you that the only thing setting us apart are the trappings? I suggest you re-evaluate your normal relationships. It looks like you may be unknowingly participating in undernegotiated, bad power exchange. And that's steps away from abuse. It's not your fault. Like I said above, the devaluing of woman in relationships is a deeply rooted effect of toxic patriarchy. (For more on that from a unique and queer perspective I recommend checking out "The Tragedy of Heterosexuality" by Jane Ward. It's a good read.)
So my question for you, RA, is "Are the relationships you call normal really ok or is it just in YOUR mind?"
Trust is built by consistent, reliable behavior over a period of time. There are no short cuts here.
