Persephone

21 and still here somehow

[pomegranategrrrl]

the snap of poison berries

bursting under foot

the gentle shape of a rook doves

corpse laid out across your path

[pomegranategrrrl]

falling asleep with the cereal box

the unzipped skirt

the absence of clocks in a room

that is dark all the time

feeling trapped in my clothes

every hair like a nerve

frayed raw on my skin

[pomegranategrrrl]

god everything in my life has completely fallen apart. I found out yesterday that one of my friends who i hadn’t seen in quite a while has died, unexpectedly, of natural causes. she was just a kid. my best friend of several years (and also ex - and also fwb until a few weeks ago) stopped talking to me with no real explanation other than that i stressed them out, I was so happy with them right before it happened. I just texted them to let them know i wanted to end our friendship properly and they didnt seem to care at all, they just blocked me, i still dont jnow what i did. i have been so horrifically depressed the past month because of medication side effects and i havent been able to talk to anyone, not even P, the person who i have always been able to go to when things get bad, because we decided at the beginning of the summer that staying in contact if we cant be together was only hurting the both of us. maybe shes happy with her girlfriend now. I dont want to disrupt that. god i dont know whats wrong with me why does everyone leave. i dont even want to die anymore, i just want to stop feeling or thinking for like a week, i wish id never been born. how do i destroy everything i touch. i will always be alone, i dont think i add anything of value to the world.

[pomegranategrrrl]

rorschach tests on my lingerie

the brown and black of rotting blood

i tell you that im growing to be scared of love

you tell me again how im 21

[c0keb0dyy]

[pomegranategrrrl]

or never bothering to defend myself bc i feel like they’ll believe what they want to believe anyway

[fairygoulish]

I'm built different. like incorrectly i think

[pomegranategrrrl]

you know the ED is back when i start making three ingredient microwave brownies (am eating it rn and it slaps tho)

[femmeidiot]

sorry you put your hand on my cheek and I immediately opened my mouth for you to put your thumb in.

[lmaonade]

hey sorry if i was offputting and strange and bizarre and weird as fuck last night i was just being myself

[pomegranategrrrl]

Memory

I can’t hear your voice in my head

But I can trace your fingers

Do you not remember me 

Studiously examining your hands?

Weird habit

/I thought you were fiddling/

Mapping

Knuckles and palm lines

I can remember them 

Like I’m tracing them again

/That’s almost enchanting in a strange way/

I can hold hands with you from miles and miles away

/I wish I had that power too/

But I would love to hear your voice and I can't

/It does keep me sane sometimes/

That's funny to me

/How?/

My voice is not one of sanity

[azamansource]

Armand is quite desperate to receive love. He is not as well versed in the language of romance, I think. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. He really, really does want it. - Assad Zaman, The AMC+ Interview with the Vampire Podcast (x)

[pomegranategrrrl]

I love them so much im so excited

[gayleafpool]

“is it ok for mutuals to dm u” there are some mutuals i’d fuck if they asked come on now

[pomegranategrrrl]

I shouldn't have stayed up this late man

[25092010]

this is how i disappear (2006) // adel abdessemed: forbidden colours (2018)

[pomegranategrrrl]

I need to be given the best massage of my life but also I need to be fucked into a mattress

[kosmogrl]

[pomegranategrrrl]

It is 5 am

and I am thinking of the funeral of a lover I never had

this is the first time in my life I have imagined, not dying first 

but standing, dignified 

at the front of a hall and speaking,

finally everyone quiet.

see how pure our love was?

how you turned away from it,

back when there was still time

stretching out? 

now you are forced to know 

my unconditionality.

I would not ponder, usually

on my unlikely grief

preferring to imagine

the dark comedy 

of all those I have loved,

standing over an open coffin 

and arguing over who

knew me enough to write the epitaph.

it was you,

obviously.

This hypothetical comes

with the scratching fear

that you might be going soon

and there is nothing I can do 

to stop it,

I cannot say I fought to keep you here

with everything in me

when I haven't seen your face

in years.

I would be the last number on

the clarion call

if I were not discarded and forgotten,

strange eyes in the the hall,

the synagogue, maybe,

people wondering that I dared to come at all.

[highpwr-xplosive]

so like she got the call and then she threw her jacket on stormed down the hall also they got they got the call and picked him up at 4am and tore off the road and all the angels say uhhhh uhhh you are all to blame cause al thw angels say uhhhh uhhhh you are all to blame she wenta lone and went to the emergency and parked thw car in the dark they told her "please he only has but minutes more you might just say goodbye" cause all the angels say uhhhh uhhh you are al to blame cuase all the angels sey ughh uhhh you are all the same and if you maybe figure it out would you still explain?? and if she said she was sorey now would you still complain??? and if you open up your heart and stay so far away but you are all the same and ifyou maybe find a better way to love me, then you are all to blame cause all the angels say uuhhhhh uhhhh you are alto blame uhhhh uhhh you are all to blame or whatever