Made of Ploap

Alex | They-them| 34 | Antizionist Jew | Nonbinary | OCD, ADHD, BPD, etc | Please only follow if over 21! | Apologies for not being able to follow back! My dash is currently very crowded. I'm uncomfortable with people following from my much larger Plant blog! Apologies! Or at least be over 26 if you're from there.

[pomegristle]

Tags of mine to peruse if you are having a bad day or require Amusing Content™:

#laugh rule (Things I laughed at irl)

#cat (Cute creechurs with knife hands)

#ploap (Nonsense word tag)

#horses are a sin (Cursed horse content. May or may not make your day worse)

#pretty pretty pretty (Pretty things tag I stole from a friend. Mostly cool organisms! Beware as it does include bugs as well.)

#World heritage post (Favorite post collection)

[daftpatience]

this is what i wanted to make! feel free 2 use this for whatever i love you

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

[iteration-dave]

Might start "stealing valor" in absurd ways, like claiming that I'm the last surviving flight deck officer of the USS Maine. Maybe go to veterans events and insist that I was an RTO at Bull Run.

[natalieironside]

Gonna roll up to the VFW hall and regale them with stories abt marching to New Orleens with Colonel Jackson way back in eighteen and fourteen

[alariok-blog]

Going to a local veterans breakfast and claiming I was in Sherman’s march to the sea

[natalieironside]

I was a helicopter pilot at Verdun during the Great War

[chillgamesh-the-swing]

Dick got blown off when the Canadians invaded DC

[iteration-dave]

I was a door gunner on Noah's Ark, a road guard on the Red Sea crossing, and the Mess Sergeant at the Last Supper.

[redstonedust]

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

[b33tl3b0y]

homunculus let out into the yard for a few minutes of recreational getting thrown from the roof time

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

[gomezaddamsofficial]

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail

[blurrysystem21-deactivated20260]

The whole "you're not valid/disabled unless you're diagnosed" is evil and it is killing people. A diagnosis does not make you disabled. Your disability makes you disabled.

[stopoftouchingmywingsihurt]

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????

[foxyclock]

this post is less than 1% away from being completely incomprehensible

[night-dark-woods]

ID. a cartoon character with half her face made up, with the subtitles cut and pasted so they read, “decrease the increase.” there’s a gif of chikorita runway-walking toward the viewer in the bottom corner. End ID.

[nebulae-d]

"okay, but are you a nonbinary woman or a nonbinary man" im going to nonbury you in a fucking hole.

[feldfrog]

I have a jar at home that has my grandpa's smithereens

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

[draconym]

[draconym]

great work everyone hit the bathhouse

[kedreeva]

Made chocolate chip cookies from my sourdough discard, since I had a lot. They are soft and fluffy, with a little bit of tang, I am enjoying them immensely.

Recipe under the cut!

14 tablespoons unsalted butter, slightly softened

100g granulated sugar

125g brown sugar

1 large egg

250g sourdough starter, unfed

1 1/4 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/4-1/2 teaspoon almond extract

260g all-purpose flour

7g salt

1 teaspoon baking soda (add a little for more floof)

1-2 cups large chocolate chips (to taste)

In a large bowl, combine the softened butter, sugars, and salt.

Add the egg to the mixture, stir until mixed.

Stir in the vanilla and almond extracts.

Stir in the sourdough starter and baking soda.

Stir in the flour until just mixed. It will seem a little goopy.

Mix in the chocolate chips. If it's still Very goopy, add a little more flour, but bear in mind it will firm up in the fridge.

Refrigerate for at least 20 minutes (can go overnight if needed!)

Preheat the oven to 350°F while cookies are in the fridge.

Scoop 1 large ice cream scoop of dough and roll into ball. Can lightly flour your hands in order to make a smoother ball. Set on a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Recipe should make 16 cookies; if you have more than that, your cookies are too small and idk what will happen. If you have less than that, your cookies are too big, which isn't a problem necessarily, but you'll need a longer cook time probably. You can test done-nes by sticking a chopstick in the middle to see if it comes out clean.

Bake 20-25 minutes, depends on your oven/location I guess. Mine takes 23 minutes.

Let them cool on the baking sheet for at least a few minutes after taking them out of the oven. They will get a little bit of a crisp on their crust if you do, and it's REALLY delicious. After 5-10 you can put them on a cooling rack if you want. 100% suggest eating one while it's still warm (not burning but warm).

Cookies are best eaten on the first day. Dough can be frozen or fridged if you want to just bake a few at a time. Thaw dough overnight before baking if you freeze it.

[kedreeva]

In case you want the recipe for the cookies I baked today, the current version is under the cut above!

[ghosthouseart]

beach that makes you cold

[image description: a watercolor painting of a beach in winter; snow drifts cover patches of the sand, and the sky is a pale gray over darker gray mountains and a turquoise stripe of ocean. /end i.d.]

[soulspark]

[wordfather]

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore