Letters To Friends

I've been clean since October. pretty proud of that, I consider it an accomplishment. I use tumblr to talk about life, but I'm extremely unorganized so you need to seriously be able to tolerate me. By the way the header is a band called Homestead. I do not mind talking to you if you would like to talk. Little about me- I am your cliche listener of pop punk music. I play guitar, write songs and plan on starting a band. I go to an arts school so technically I'm already in one, but it's not a band I exactly volunteered to be in. I would like to start a band like Real Friends or Citizen or something.. No seriously talk to me I'll recommend you some good shit. Love always, hope you don't completely hate my blog.

[pop-punk-wallflower]

logging out

this blogs still gonna be around on the internet but not in use anymore. again: @ash-hamre-music

[pop-punk-wallflower]

logging out.

love you all

i got mobile tumblr

i just lost the password for this one here

i’m logging out on my computer

and i wanna start fresh

my new tumblr is @ash-hamre-music 

i love you all

i just don’t feel like a depressed shit anymore and i don’t like how i formatted this whole blog

nobody gave much of a shit anyway

whatever i’m starting fresh on the new tumblr follow it if you give a damn

[pop-punk-wallflower]

i’ve been passing as a guy to some strangers and this, this is ok. and my parents let me get a pair of men’s shorts today and the size fit me perfectly, first try, i’m already getting a hang of this, this is great. and for some reason i low key want to start a brotherhood. it’ll probably end up being a band. 

hahahaha that’ll be interesting

but it’s possible and i’m happy about it

[pop-punk-wallflower]

update on that last post: HOLY SHIT MAN I JUST REALIZED THAT’S GONNA BE MY 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. OR 19 OR SOMETHING. LIKE A TOP SURGERY TYPE OF THING WHENEVER I CAN CHANGE MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE OR SOMETHING MOM AND DAD YOU’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ME ANYMORE YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

says me at age 15

[pop-punk-wallflower]

So recently I figured myself out that I’m trans, so I was thinking, you know those “gender announcement” things? What if I did one of those like, with balloons and shit and it’s all like IT’S A BOY with random balloons and who the fuck cares if it’s 15 years late THERE WERE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES and like SORRY DAD and you’re all invited and that random dude with the fantastic soda who called me sir even though he “corrected” himself after saying that he’s invited too I FORGIVE YOU

[pop-punk-wallflower]

Ash Hamre- Daisy

Go ahead and give it a listen. 

I’m also testing my search alert thing with my email so sorry for the spam. but yeah check it out

[pop-punk-wallflower]

hello, this is me.

name- ash hamre

age- 15

pronouns- he/him

live- connecticut

school- art school

what i do- i make music.

what i want- i want to start a band with people. preferably indie or pop punk or something. like, the front bottoms, modern baseball, taking back sunday, turnover, jack’s mannequin, fall out boy, stuff varies, I just want to make music with people that are willing. 

what i’d do- i write songs and play guitar, i consider myself an okay singer. if you wanna do a duo-vocals thing that’d be really cool but point being i’m a singer-guitarist and i’m looking for the right people to make music with.  I might have a bassist. not sure. I am still trying to get myself comfortable getting my music out there so the concept of collaborating with anyone is kind of horrifying but i want to try.

where you can contact me- [email protected]

Even if you can’t help overall, just general advice for getting my music out there, anything helps i just need some help getting my music out there and finding people to do that with me

[pop-punk-wallflower]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKkLUSRpBww)

So... This is me. I’d like to reintroduce myself because I don’t think any of you that have even looked at any of my posts really know me for the person I am. My name is Ashley Hamre. I go by Ash because I am genderfluid and therefore feel more comfortable going by that. I’ve been identifying as a guy for the past few days. I wrote this song for my girlfriend, who lives three thousand miles away from me on the west coast, and hates herself. She’s going through a lot, like a really bad family situation, being transgender and having a lot of trouble coming out to people.. and being suicidal. A lot of times she doesn’t understand why I love her. So I wrote this for her. I would be honored if you could please listen to this. This is the first song I have been ready to share with people. One of my best friends helped me record it in one of the only places I actually kind of like in my town. This one’s called Daisy. 

[pop-punk-wallflower]

so... ok

Basically I’ve been questioning my gender identity recently and i think my friend put it into the right term I think I’m genderfluid or something. I don’t like questioning my gender and stuff but I just don’t exactly feel like, uh, a female. I’m still going by she pronouns but i dunno.. i’ve been feeling kind of neutral recently..? I really don’t like questioning my gender it’s not something I expected

[pop-punk-wallflower]

Absolutely one of my favorite songs currently. I want you to all listen to this song. I promise it is absolutely worth your time. And if you like what you here, go here to help them get to play the Vans Warped Tour and progress in their music. Help them take the next step. Because this is one of my favorite bands currently and this song is one of many that I would call life saving. I personally haven’t seen them live because i live in connecticut, but honestly for what i’ve heard, they make their music and they mean it. and you can tell. please support them by going to http://warped.amplifiertv.com/channel/Chaplin and watching their videos at least that. 

[pop-punk-wallflower]

Help support my friends play Warped: http://warped.amplifiertv.com/channel/Chaplin

Maybe there’s a reason they’re in 11th place. Help them get up to first. I promise you won’t regret it.

[pop-punk-wallflower]

Bohemian Rhapsody-1984

So this is half me fucking around with Audacity and half me trying to make this acceptable for my world literature project in which i am making a soundtrack for the book 1984 as if it were to be part

i got one opinion. one. from my school. he said it’s awful. 

me, trying to make an impression to people at my school

trying to do something to get accepted

dammit i wanna die

don’t think you get it this like seriously bothers me i tried avant garde because i wanted to see if people would like me

and this happens

it’s not fair. and if i tried to do that with my own personal original music it’ll be even worse. 

people need to realize that i am not in a good place in life

i wish someone liked it

ugh

[pop-punk-wallflower]

about a week until i turn 15.. dont care. more importantly six days till i get to see my friends in life on the sideline again. i really fucking miss them. i don’t need a fucking birthday party i just want to see them again they saved my life and i miss them.

[pop-punk-wallflower]

I think the worst feeling there is has to be when you’re the oldest sibling and you have two younger siblings with a next level sibling rivalry.  you can’t keep them from fighting. and at this point it’s violent. they like.. physically fight.. and today my 9 year brother left the screen door open until my 12 year old sister would come outside but instead she closes the main door and locks him outside.. in the freezing cold and snow. five minutes later my mom makes her find him she sees him crying outside and then she goes on saying how she’s the fucking victim. no it’s more than any sibling rivalry. it’s utter hatred. and i can’t do anything. i can’t be in this house. i can’t be around them it clearly pains me a lot. this is why the fuck i isolate myself, talk to band members and make mixtapes and just vent on this fucking social media website where nobody gives a fuck about me. i’ve been clean for almost half a year. i’ve been ok for the past few weeks but it’s been good for too long and this sudden sibling bullshit is fuel for a crash. and honestly i’m scared. and the worst part is the people i want to talk to most because they make me feel safe, are the people that only see my messages like two weeks after i send them.. my room’s a fucking mess and i’m not motivated to clean it. someone please help me even though none of you aren’t going to. whatever. nobody gives a fuck i’ll be surprised if i even post it because we all know nobody gives a shit 

[pop-punk-wallflower]

Sometimes, I listen to Citizen and wonder where all those kids from elementary school that mixed all their food together are now.

[always-lose-deactivated20200125]

December // Neck Deep

[panicatthedisco]

Des Moines IA. 📸- Jake Chamseddine

[pop-punk-wallflower]

proud to contribute to one of Panic!’s biggest moments. my location was worcester. it means so much to me that such a big night for me meant a shit ton to them as well. this was the first concert i went to where the fans overwhelm the artist with emotion and support, like.. the hearts in girls/girls/boys. you could just really tell he was really getting this wave of emotion and support and everything... and i’m glad i was able to be part of it.