Christophe Julien de Rapier

  This is a side-blog. Rules, exclusives, and my full muse-list can be found on my main blog,  thiievesandbeggars.tumblr.com  

[owochimuwu]

I've done nothing wrong. Except for all the atrocities. Besides that I'm innocent

[popinjaypirate]

cont. // @trickstercaptain​

      Silence immediately fell around the table. By the looks on the dopey drunk faces surrounding him they were barely containing their laughter, it was self-preservation that saved them. They knew better. Jack, however, was new. Out of a sense of pity, Christophe had allowed the kid to tag along. Bringing him to the hottest clubs, sharing him with numerous friends. And this was how Jack repaid his generosity. 

        Although he wanted nothing more than to rip the clothes off Jacks back he restrained himself. The flush of anger was disguised in the semi-darkened room- lit mostly by the dance floors flashing, multi-coloured lights- and he used that to his advantage. With a grin seemingly frozen on his face, Christophe leaned down so that his chin hovered just above Jacks ear.  “You think you’re such a funny guy, Jacques,” he purred as one hand rest on the top of the younger mans chair. “I’m sorry to say that it appears your joke has fallen flat.” 

       With a fierce yank, he tipped the chair out from under Jack. On cue, the lackeys behind him burst into laughter. 

       “You’ve got a lot to learn, mon ami!”

[jamsmemes]

(     *     VALENTINE’S DAY ALPHABET   !    

send some letters to find out more about my muse   !

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not? 

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

[bottom-on-main]

vibe check! *deepthroats your cock*

[bricesander]

[popinjaypirate]

"He would sleep with anyone. Men or women, it didn't matter. He just liked sex and the power it allowed him to wield over others."

[popinjaypirate]

'The Originals' sentence starters.

"And the award for biggest ego goes to..."

"Are you so eager to meet your end?"

"Darling, we have to stop meeting like this. This is how rumours begin."

"Did you have to do that?"

"Do this one favour for me and you need never fear anyone ever again."

"Do we have any more booze?"

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"For all I care, you can crawl back to Hell."

"Hey! Earth to you."

"Hold your tongue or I'll tear it from your gaping mouth."

"How dare you command me?"

"How long are you going to hate me?"

"I can't share my secrets with you unless we trust each other."

"I despise voicemail."

"I don't really care about what you want. Let's talk about what I want."

"I like how your mind works."

"I swear to you, the day will come when I'm not so easily subdued, and on that day, I will make you suffer."

"I was protecting you."

"I will fight for my family until my last breath."

"I will not leave you behind."

"I will systematically destroy everything they hold dear."

"I'm going to kill every last one of them."

"If I had a dollar for every mess my family has gotten me into."

"If I want something, I'll take it, and nothing – nothing will stand in my way."

"If you ever betray me, I will make sure you spend the rest of your eternal life in exquisite agony wishing for a merciful death."

"If you knew even a fraction of who I am it would break you in two."

"Is it evil to take what one wants? To satisfy hunger even if doing so will cause another's suffering?"

"Is that what you want, to be normal?"

"It just seems like you need all the friends that you can get."

"It's a little early for day drinking."

"Kill a demon today, face a devil tomorrow."

"Let's go kill them all."

"My hatred for you runs so deep it's difficult to pinpoint its origin."

"Please feel free to choke on it."

"Poppycock! I would never bite you"

"So you're having weird retro sex dreams, get over it."

"Sudden moves make me jumpy, and homicidal."

"Ten minutes ago I was fully naked."

"That wasn't me."

"That's right, you don't have any friends."

"The longer the game, the more they suffer."

"The monster in me can only be checked by the monster in you."

"There is a special place in hell for your kind."

"There is something fundamentally wrong with you."

"There's no real peace in revenge."

"This house is like a freaking swamp sauna."

"What better way to punctuate a day of peace than by killing someone."

"What have you done?!"

"What kind of monster do you take me for?"

"What makes you think I'm afraid to die?"

"What the hell are you doing, you ruthless bitch?"

"What wine goes well with treachery?"

"What's worth dying for is not love?"

"When I go after someone, I don't miss."

"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?"

"You are the architect of your own unhappiness."

"You deserved far better than this."

"You disgust me."

"You do know you're entirely demented, don't you?"

"You don't care about me!"

"You have a warrior's heart. Perhaps I'll keep it as a souvenir."

"You relinquished your right to touch me."

"You waited too long before you came to rescue me."

"You will not break me."

"You will pay for this."

"You're gonna wish you never laid eyes on me."

"You're nothing."

"You're so hot when you're angry."

"Your dad was a dick."

[deivll]

lucifer sentence starters ↳ episode 1 – 3

i like to punish people too.

are you trying to bribe me?

it’s only money

.you break the law sometimes, don’t you?

it feels good to get away with something, doesn’t it?

go on, take it. buy yourself something pretty.

you little devil.

shouldn’t you be spending your valuable time doing something more significant?

don’t know. don’t care. not my problem.

he will not be merciful for much longer.

you’re famous, aren’t you?

did i sell my soul to the devil?

with all the good came a hell of a lot of bad.

so the devil made you do it, did he?

i suggested you work with him, not sleep with him.

oh god, i’m a mess.

what happens now – that’s up to you.

what did you do?!

why did you end her life?!

there’s gonna be a lot of attention on this one.

do you know the shooter?

like to play cop, do you?

i just like to play in general.

now, don’t you think that’s interesting?

immortality. of course. you spell that with one or two M’s? i always forget.

what will your corrupt little organisation do about this?

will you find the person responsible? will they be punished?

you’ve got some balls on you, pal.

i could swear i’ve seen you naked. have we had sex?

someone out there needs to be punished!

what is this, a wedding or a kidnapping?

it’s hard to be rejected, isn’t it?

i’d kill someone if they denied me. not that that’s possible.

did you want her dead?

i am not playing that mind game with you.

i really don’t want to have sex with him tonight.

i have narcotics for him.

can someone please turn down this god-awful music!

without the blues, there’d be no devil’s music whatsoever.

you’re being clear alright. if you’re looking to get yourself killed.

i didn’t kill her!

people sometimes kill people with whom they’re in love. the heart’s mysterious.

girl made me crazy!

welcome to the party!

i have far too many bullets in this thing for you to still be talking.

what do you desire more than anything else in this life?

you’re not like – a jedi or something, are you?

i know something you don’t know.

well, they’re threatened. you’re clearly smart and have notable instincts.

i don’t think you’re allowed to smoke in here.

that’s a hooker’s name.

i don’t know whether to laugh or to shoot you.

are you at all aware of how dickish you sound?

i wouldn’t recommend it. i’m like walking heroin.

i tend to appeal to the dark, mischievous hearts in all of you.

you seem oddly immune to my charms.

truth be told, i find you repulsive.

did you roofie her?

my word is my bond.

what’s your deepest, darkest desire?

you wouldn’t want any nasty secrets screwing that up for you though, would you?

god, you are a terrible liar.

despite your proclaimed revulsion, you can’t deny that there’s a connection between us.

i made her, and she ruined me.

i’m gonna punish you.

back off, you freak!

he needs to pay! he needs to suffer! he needs to feel the pain, not escape it!

i don’t want to die.

why aren’t you more dead?

you’re having a very hard time with the immortal thing, aren’t you?

i’m pretty sure i’d be dead if you hadn’t helped me, so thank you.

you know, you’re far too interesting to let die.

i think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

i’d stay for the family reunion, but it’s giving me terrible IBS.

you scared i’m turning my back on the dark side?

you wouldn’t want to start a war.

i look forward to eating your heart one day.

have you seen the face of the devil?

i’m willing to work within your metaphor.

i’d kick a puppy if one waltzed by. i’m joking. puppies don’t waltz.

i’m gonna figure out your secret.

i guess we both have our mysteries.

i’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

if i don’t affect you, i’m curious as to what does.

if you desire something, just take it.

you’re not gonna get away with this. i’m gonna make sure of it.

what are you hiding?

are you really gonna try and prove his innocence?

sorry, do you want a hit?

it’s ‘puff, puff, pass’, not 'puff, puff, stomp angrily.’

you brought pot to a crime scene?

i’m sure there’s some stragglers we could get into trouble with, huh?

it’s called a devil’s threesome for a reason.

if you’ve come to lecture me, can you just save it for later? i’m annoyingly sober right now.

you must have done something salacious in your youth.

i’m not gonna tell you anything.

i don’t want to know about the case, so you can keep your dirty little secrets.

i’ve seen the hatred in her eyes when she looks at you.

i just did everything i could to keep others from making the same mistakes i did.

who are you protecting?

i was hoping for sexy, salacious details, and i instead i got taken on a trip down depression lane.

don’t you dare disrespect me.

you will not speak to me this way!

am i interrupting some creepy foreplay you two have?

we all know what the road to hell is paved with, don’t we?

they don’t give out pulitzers for nip-slips.

if it’s any consolation, you look really good in it.

you don’t decide who gets punished and how.

let’s go deliver some punishment.

you’re a necessary evil.

i’ll kill you, you crazy bitch!

you both get a gun. let’s see who shoots first.

what’s to stop us from shooting you?

you’re interrupting my punishment.

you’re lucky i figured out your insane, ironic punishment before anyone got killed.

you tried to do some good. to help someone. don’t throw it all away.

i thought i’d use you to remedy a situation that i’ve mishandled and annoy you in the process.

you know exactly what i’m asking you.

didn’t mean to hurt you.

i hope the guy who hurt you got in lots of trouble.

i’m so very used to being in control of everything.

i doubt he’ll be able to string two words together right now, much less have a conversation.

what happened to you?

i can’t get away from him!

what’s the worst that can happen?

you could learn a thing or two from this guy.

you are in desperate need of my help.

i mean – you are like a four-leaf clover and a unicorn made a baby.

i’ve met your type before. so desperate to control their lives that they forget to enjoy it.

this is the fantasy life of a postmenopausal housewife.

i want to get laid so damn bad.

i very much beg your pardon?

i’m freaking out, okay?

i need that favour.

thanks for being super-cryptic in a really unhelpful way.

we’ve got a murder on our hands.

you forget that my expertise is finding the right people to punish.

so there’s a bona fide killer on the loose that needs to be punished.

haven’t i proven myself extremely useful at detectiving?

i don’t want to be stuck out here with these miscreants.

you call watching porn on your phone useful?

i wish i’d never met you.

the person responsible is still out there.

i just want to make sure that you’re punishing the right person.

this place is built on lies where nothing is authentic or genuine.

i’m gonna tear him limb from limb.

your anger toward this minor inconvenience feels a little disproportionate.

we need to ask you a few questions.

i don’t think the plan was to kill you.

i think they wanted to scare you.

you’re like two pathetic peas in a pod.

someone must’ve hired her for this.

if your problem’s that stick up your ass, i’m afraid there’s no one strong enough to pull that out.

am i up for encouraging someone to commit a nefarious act? put me in, coach.

your professional reputation has taken a bit of a dive. as has your sexual one, i’m afraid.

just sit tight and we’ll all get what we want.

you know who you’re messing with?

you’ve certainly been a busy bee, haven’t you?

it seems you’re a bit of a two-pump chump.

please don’t hurt me – please.

i’m not gonna hurt you. i’m going to destroy you.

see, that’s why i don’t lie. it’s so hard to keep track of who knows what.

i still don’t understand.

if he left me, i would be ruined.

she didn’t want to go through with it.

i’m finally focusing my anger where it belongs.

but you know what? you, uh – you stayed good to your word.

you are crazy. but you’re my crazy, you hear me?

are you too egotistical to acknowledge my help?

i think that’s why you’re here. to reinvent yourself.

i told you, i’m good at punishing people – nay, i’m the best at punishing people.

[phantomemes]

sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations .

“ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ”

“ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ”

“ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ”

“ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ”

“ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ”

“ you can live in the cave ”

“ i’m a big fan of your name ”

“ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ”

“ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ”

“ because i’m a masochist ”

“ i’m going to regret this ”

“ i’ve lost the ability to feel ”

“ they’re gonna fucking murder you ”

“ the way you shushed me was quite rude ”

“ cowards  ,  all of you ”

“ i’m strange and off putting ”

“ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ”

“ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ”

“ i hate bats ”

“ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ”

“ not today devil birds  ,  not today ”

“ i think i’m blacking out right now ”

“ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ”

“ i think i’m gonna cry ”

“ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ”

“ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ”

“ i’m standing on an altar alone ”

“ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ”

“ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ”

“ were you making horse noises ? ”

“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ”

“ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ”

“ well this is horrifying ”

“ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ”

“ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ”

“ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ”

“ you talk to hide from the silence ”

“ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ”

“ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ”

“ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ”

“ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ”

“ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ”

“ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”

[popinjaypirate]

trickstercaptain‌:

      ‟ What was your father like? ” He wasn’t sure whether he ought to bring it up, but given how vocal Christophe had been on more than one occasion when it came to conversations about Teague’s egregious flaws as a parent, Jack’s curiosity had been a difficult beast to sate. Surely someone who spoke as he did had experience of his own. 

       The question caught him off guard. In a moment of irrational paranoia he wondered, does he know? It was a ridicules moment. One that he immediately brushed aside, though he was certain that his sudden change in demeaning hadn’t been lost on Jack, who often watched him with all the admiration one might expect from a fangirl at a concert. No, he was certain that this was no more than the fleeting curiosity of the young man beside him. 

       As he relaxed back into his chair he leaned into Jack, throwing an arm across Jack’s shoulder he made sure that any personal space that remained between them was gone. His parents were mere shadows of his former life. Unlike Jack who often remained dominated under his father's thumb, Christophe had freed himself long ago. “So curious, Jacques,” he chided softly, giving Jack’s shoulder a tight squeeze. Never one to share his personal life with others (one had to have some sense of boundaries between themselves and their admirers) there was a silence that fell. It was the kind of silence one stayed silent for only because they knew it was to honour the weight of the moment. With a shake of his head, Christophe finally conceded.

       Truly, he rarely thought of his father. The man had been an envious bastard who sought fit to sabotage any success Christophe may have gained by working around him.  His father had been callous, “he was stern”. His father had been an immovable force, “a perfectionist, set in his ways”. A vulgar human being, “but highly respected and honourable.” 

       And he meant every word.

       He released his grip on Jack’s shoulder. Christophe knew there was no point in not admitting the obvious; surly Jack must have known before he asked the question to begin with. 

       “We weren’t close,” he concluded. 

@trickstercaptain​ 

[ephemeraltea]

Ok but which part of ur otp unironically calls themselves “a fucking delight” and which one immediately snorts

[popinjaypirate]

Bold/Italicise what you apply to your muse. REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG! Tagged by:  no one Tagging:  @downspiral​ @trickstercaptain​

DEFENSIVENESS: arms crossed on chest // crossing legs // fist-like gestures // pointing index finger // karate chops // stiffening of shoulders // tense posture // curling of lip / baring of teeth

REFLECTIVE: hand-to-face gestures // head tilted // stroking chin // peering over glasses // taking glasses off — cleaning // putting earpiece of glasses in mouth // pipe smoker gestures // putting hand to the bridge of the nose // pursed lips // knitted brows

SUSPICION: arms crossed // sideways glance // touching or rubbing nose // rubbing eyes // hands resting on weapon // brows raising // lips pressing into a thin line // strict, unwavering eye contact // wrinkling of nose

OPENNESS & COOPERATION: open hands // upper body in sprinters position // sitting on the edge of a chair // hand-to-face gestures // unbuttoned coat // tilted head // slacked shoulders // droopy posture // feet pointed outward // palms flat and facing outward

CONFIDENCE: hands behind back // hands on lapels of coat // steepled hands // baring teeth in a grin // rolling shoulders // tipping head back but maintaining eye contact // chest puffed up/shoulders back // arms folded just above navel

INSECURITY & ANXIETY: chewing pen or pencil // rubbing thumb over opposite thumb // biting fingernails // hands in pockets  // elbow bent / closed gestures // clearing throat // “whew” sound // picking or pinching flesh // fidgeting in chair // hand covering mouth whilst speaking // poor eye contact// tugging at pants whilst seated // jingling money in pockets // tugging at ear // perspiring hands // playing with hair // swaying // playing with pointer/marker // smacking lips // sighing // rocking on balls of feet // flexing fingers sporadically

FRUSTRATION: short breaths // twitching eyelids // “tsk” sounds // tightly-clenched hands // fist-like gestures // pointing index finger // running hand through hair // rubbing back of neck // snarling // revealing teeth/grimacing // sharp-eyed glowers with notable tension in the brows // shoulders back, head up - defensive posturing // clenching of jaw/grinding teeth // nostrils flaring // heavy exhales

[bitchycode]

u may think im a horrible person but deep deep in down im even worse

[fineapplepizza]

oh sorry i was thinking about myself did you want something

[fragmentedink-archived]

[rosecrystal]

unfortunately for everybody i will keep doing whatever i want

[seineijashu]

“Your body sank into my sea;”

— Gertrud Kolmar, from Dark Soliloquy: The Selected Poems; “The Sea-Monster,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[popinjaypirate]

@trickstercaptain