dracula ,

I     don't     wanna     talk     down     on     your     lover don't     wanna     be     a     homewrecker     .

[popsprincess]

@POPSPRINCESS    i   got   big   decisions,   i   got   TWO   BRUNETTES   and   a   blonde   one   .  //  now  that's   miami   problems   . 

musing    +    writing   blog    by   layla   . 

[connotations]

they have too much history, and she left this town with open wounds from him, amongst others. she wasn’t perfect, by the time she decided she needed to leave, she hated who she had become — so full of anger at the world. she had take herself off the cross of her own self - crucifixion and get away from the entire environment. she’d made a list of things she had wanted to do : travel, meet new people, go back to school, talk to her biological father. she’d managed to do all of that, but she hadn’t been ready to come back — it was the world that made that decision for her. she had gotten the call in the middle of the night while in brussels. it was her dad, the only father figure she had, her only family outside of her sister, was gone. and alivia had her own family now, which left her properly by herself. she didn’t even get the time for a proper goodbye, despite booking the first flight she could back to the city, he had already been gone. she winces at his mention to it, she forgot that he, along with everyone else in town, knew about what had happened. her father was a prominent figure, even drew’s parents had been there, to her own shock and disdain. “ it’s fine, ” it wasn’t, but it would be. life wouldn’t stop moving, even if it felt hard to get out of bed every morning now. “ thank you. ” what else could she say? nothing would bring him back, but it’s reminding her of his own situation. “ i’m sorry, too. ” about her. he had lost someone too, the mother of his children. it’s hard to picture him as a father, to see how different their lives have turned out. “ if you need anything, i’m here. ” her therapist would scold her for being so readily available for him, but maybe this is what she needed : someone who understood.

[popsprincess]

parker was a reminiscing reminder of the awfulness of his own love. it was like a poison, it crept into people. worse than drowning, it burrowed in your chest and warmed you from the inside out. he had learned from his father what it meant to make people feel special. had learned from a man that he hadn't seen since the birth of his first child. the truth is, he would have been just like him. would have hurt more people, a dozen more parkers if life hadn't twisted him in its injustice. how he could fall in love, not the fabricated half sided selfishness he had called it before. but real, deep, longing. the kind that pulled you back from the edge, the kind that had him staring at a version of himself that didn't make it past his twenties, a version of himself that rippled into the background of his mind. reminding him of who he was, who he still is at times. he'd killed versions of himself over and over again, until it stuck. until he promised to do better, and be better for her. because she needed him. because he was a father, and a husband, and a hundred other things he never thought he'd be loved enough to see. people didn't love wickedness, but parker had. and for that, he could never ask for forgiveness, she had given it to him when he deserved disdain. he wouldn't ask for it now. he was still paying for his sins, it seemed. after his wife died, he'd spent the trajectory of his twenties being a single father. they don't teach you how to be a dad, and he knew nothing of warmth or comfort--until them. he'd taken the sharp edges of himself and filed them down, until his hands bled. he nodded when she said it was fine, but this town-it ate people alive with it's rumors. and she looked tired. he'd tell her to run, if she'd listen. "i thought you would have.." he shook his head, scratching at his temple as the words trailed off. "key'd my car or something, maybe." he glimpsed behind her to the yukon. "still could," the dimple almost reached the surface. "if you want."

[parisgoodbyes]

tears whelm up in her eyes , trying to fight it -- she did , she always did . so hard sometimes , she had the markings to prove it . whether it was punching the mirror or using it to indent into the palm of her hand enough to induce the pain to stop it from traveling . wants to numb it , silence everything going on inside her head which is why she turned to drugs , used the alcohol to heal the broken parts of her knowing that the man before her would go through hell in order to bring her out on the other side , unscathed . he loved her , she knew that . felt it every time he touched her , every time he was inside her . and she loved him , too . but the fatal thing about her manic state was the inconsistency of her emotions , the unknown of what was going to happen next once it hit . watches him from the other end of the hallway , reminders of their life together hidden in every crevice of their home . the last time she had one of those was the treehouse monti had built for her when she was just effy's age . she shakes her head , "i said stop it , drew ." he's lying . he doesn't need you . no one does . their daughter was better off without her . she wasn't fit to be a mother . not when she could hardly take care of herself , depending on the man desperately trying to bring her back to maintain the agony she caused themselves . fingertips run through her hair before she's tugging at the ends , rougher than necessary . they are better off without you . "stop it , stop it , stop it !"

[popsprincess]

god, wouldn't that be easier? to stop. stop loving her the way he did. stop going back and forth with this endless pit of darkness. stopped letting it claw pieces of himself along with her, while he pulled her out. again and again. he'd promised her that he would do whatever it takes to bring her back. when she was herself, when she looked back at him with quiet eyes and glossed over stares. because she always knew it would come back, the same way he did. it was worse when effy was a baby, it had been worse than this episode. if he could sell what was left of his soul for hers, he'd sign the contract tonight. the muscles tightened, his throat felt raw. he always gave her space, in the beginning, in hopes she would come back to him on her own. "i love you." the distance was inched, like pieces of glass cracking between each step. "and you love me." no matter what she said, words were empty even if they were silvered in venom. it's when she started pulling at her hair, did his hands clasp against wrists. she felt smaller, frail, and strong all the same, in moments like this. "stop it." he repeated the words back to her, harsh enough that his grasp on her startled to struggle. "reid," the warning quiet. not for her, for them. "don't make me do it like this."

[popsprincess]

"you know," his brow arched as he slunk back into the leather chair. "you could have just called."

[parisgoodbyes]

she was broken in the head . came to terms with it a long time ago , confirmed by savannah who never let her live it down a single day in her life . becoming a mother herself should have helped pave a way to being a better person , but she didn't think she could do it . wasn't sure if she was built for it . she knew they deserved someone who could love them the way they needed , the way normal mothers loved their kids . who didn't come home wondering if she was going to be there or not . reid looks at him now , blue eyes nearly black in a way that only happens when she sinks into this dark hole she dug herself . "i don't need anything ," words come slow and jagged as she pushes her plate away and stands , trying to put space between them before he had the chance to eat it up . "no ." don't . the only person who could get through to her was him and they both knew it . it's why she fought it when she got like this , addiction feeding her lies -- he'll get tired of her eventually .

[popsprincess]

it's like he was looking at pieces of her scattered across their house. some of her heart was under their bed, another piece planted in the garden, then another in their daughter. who looked just fucking like her, that he worried it would sooner or later be the only way he could see her again. "okay," his hands raised, gaze shifted to the plate that had skid against the wood, the metal utensils that had dropped and clinked against the china. the small crack in the corner of one of the plates where this had happened before. "you don't want to talk? then listen." his throat bobbed, and he pushed off the wood. "effy is with beatrice," the kind elderly woman he had hired a few years back, when her postpartum had verged on breaking her entirely. "they're out at the movies, and school just finished last friday." he was telling her this because he knew the storm that was coming, had stood in the base of it and had loved her, not in spite of it, but in addition. "she's been asking about you." he started pacing into the den, then towards the hallway where one of the bathrooms had been. the closer the better, he wouldn't try to lead her into the master, and since this one they used for the kids, it didn't have a lock. he'd made that mistake before once or twice over the years. he flipped on the shower, and then catches her in the hall. "she needs her mom." he wants to reach out, and he's prepared to drag her in there if he has to. "i need you, reid. okay?" his voice softened. "i need you."

[connotations]

" this is my home. " she'd spent years trying to escape it, though, traveling from city to city and replacing the painful memories with new ones. she'd grown up, she was stronger now — but seeing her biggest weakness wasn't something she was prepared for. " everyone i have ever loved is here. " including him.

[popsprincess]

he'd done a lot of terrible things in his life. a majority of which stimmed back to her, and the countless was he had treated her. he wasn't a good person back then, he's not even sure he is one now. only difference was, being a father had changed him in ways that people couldn't prepare for. making the way his had treated him, all the more lingering. looking at his daughter, in the ways she was so much like her mother, dug deeper and deeper at wounds he had thought he'd healed over the years. every now and again, he was reminded, like pieces of lint leftover on your clothes- how cruelness was a family trait he had swallowed. "i heard about what happened parker," no words could really do justice for how much hurt she had endured. "is there anything i can do to help?" because sorry wasn't good enough. he'd apologized enough to her, danced on what was left of her heart until it was rubble. he wouldn't start by doing it again. real or not, this time.

[parisgoodbyes]

has been playing with her food for what felt like hours now , disassociation settling deep in her bones . his words take a second to register and when they do , she barely even glances in his direction . "do i look hungry ?" she should care . she should be obligated to give him some sort of semblance of affection , but the voices ... the voices always won .

[popsprincess]

tension settled in his jaw, he could feel it. heat traveled down his back, settling worriedly at the base of his spine. loving her was like living a hundred days in the sun, only to be thrust into winter the moment things started to grow again. his hands set the glass down, folded across the table as he leaned into it. gently, he'd learned gentleness through barbed wire and scars. blues shifted to the plate, pieces of food that were pushed around. he wouldn't comment, wouldn't feed into the voices that pulled at the strings of his heart like taut wires. if he could scream, he'd wrap his hands around the voices, and yell until he was hoarse and strangled--give her back! "you need to eat." he concluded, standing and picking up his plate. "you can't just-" he set the plate down, moved closer. leaned against the expensive wood. "talk to me." she's still there, he just needs to find her again.

[popsprincess]

"why'd you call me?" why he came, would have been a more reasonable question. "boyfriend didn't answer?" his gaze drifted absentmindedly, the party trickling down to leftover beer and morning regret.

[popsprincess]

"I don't think I ever expected you to come back to this place."

[popsprincess]

the kids were gone for tonight, he'd given them money and their nanny advise to keep them busy, take them to the movies, the arcade. rarely did they use their staff to raise their own children but desperate times. hours ticked by, dinner had gone cold, he'd order more-if she actually ate this time. "are you hungry?"

[popsprincess]

getting back into the game and would like some new threads + ( new & old ) partners too, so like for a starter if you’re interested !

[whimsylilou]

[sacrificeds]

“ god,   you're   always   the   most   sexy   thing   in   any   room. ”

[popsprincess]

nothing had changed, this was the exchange. and yet, "have you ever been in love?" her throat felt immediately dry. the abruptness of the question making the distance short, and palpable.

[parisgoodbyes]

he doesn't say anything -- doesn't have to . by energy alone , you knew , rhys myers didn't mess around . so he'll follow behind her , give her security a look that read the same line : fuck with him and find out . taking a seat without putting up much of a fight , he thumbs over the corner of his mouth where he spots the drop of blood before brushing it away against denim . he deserved it tonight . after years of radio silence , he returned home to find his parents dead and his brother living . all by himself . leaning back when he spots the ice in her hand , he takes a look around the room , noting the ambiance set up and the dark colors . had been in one too many places like this , owned by the bianchi's . wonders how a pretty girl like her ended up here . then again , none of the pretty girls he met sold their soul for fun . "should i roll over , too , and expect you to pet me ?"

[popsprincess]

she had eyed the way the bouncer had tilted his chin away, before they were alone. from one cage to another, she flickered round irises to the movements. the blood that blended into the denim, darkening the spot where he wiped until it was forgotten. "depends," the corners of her mouth twitched softly but she still kept herself a safe distance away as she gathered the ice. her throat bobbed, and then she exhales, gathering her nerves and swallowing them. the mask they expected her to wear had never quite fit. slowly she moved over to the booth, sitting next to him, closer than intended. she didn't touch him, not yet. "you do tricks?" the tease was softer under the music, the lights low and intimate in the private lounges. they were made that way for a reason, to make you believe you were alone. to give the illusion of privacy in the dark. the truth? she was always being watched. "can i?" she asked permission, because it was rarity in the place like this, nodding the where his mouth was split.

[tusudor]

open to : m / f / nb plot : dude,  we're  in  the  backrooms  </3  andi  asks  for  y/m's  help  in  filming  an  asmr  video  centered  around  liminal  spaces.  boom,  they  head  to  a  dead  mall.  while  filming,  mayhaps strange  things  start  happening  …  maybe  they  end  up  in  the  literal  backrooms  👀

a decaying time capsule is what they've been exploring : familiar, almost nostalgic despite never really having been here before. over 700,000 square feet of deserted kiosks, gated store fronts, and EVERYTHING MUST GO signage, the only other people they encountered had been near the entrance where the nail salon is still active. the  mall  itself exhales  staleness  ... like a forgotten closet filled with moth balls — save for the brief whiff of a discontinued bath & body works mist andi swore she could smell and the pair bickered about whether she'd imagined it or not.  yes was the reasonable consensus, but she remains dubious nonetheless. a  pop  song  has  been  playing  faintly  on  loop  yet  she  hasn't  quite  been  able  to  make  out  the  words  despite how many times she's heard it since they've been here —  hopefully  she  doesn't  get  copyrighted.  “  guys,  check  it  out.  this  thing  looks  ancient.  ”  she  whispers  into  the  hand held  mic,  pointing  at  the  coin  operated  horse  as  they  approach  it.  it's  an  ugly  thing  :  slightly dented, the  paint  long  chipped  off in patches that expose the metal beneath with a severely worn out saddle, made seemingly of real leather, to top it off.  " hi - yo silver ... " is the phrase engraved in the dusty golden plaque at the base of the ride and she mumbles it a few times for tingle purposes. beckons  the  other  to  come  closer  with the camera as  fingernails  drum  against  the  aluminum  body  of  the  horse, alternating between fast and slow tempos before lightly dragging her nails along the surface.  “  these  used  to  be  so  fun  though,  you  ever  ride  them  as  a  kid  ?  ” 

[popsprincess]

the whole fucking place gave him the creeps, if he was being honest. the only reason he'd even gone, was because she would go either way. the last thing he needed was seeing her face plastered across the news, local girl kidnapped by deranged lunatics in abandoned mall. places like this were a fucking pool for groups to get high, or wasted, without the threat of being locked up. they'd traded graveyards, and this place was a walking fucking cemetery. his suspicions were only confirmed when in one of the department stores, someone had set up some camping gear and it looked lived in. which meant they weren't the only ones wondering around this place. "she has a death wish," he'd muttered to the listeners before watching her from a few paces behind. it was easier to see the things she didn't, that way. he had only been halfway paying attention to the long forgotten kiddy ride, when the shuffle of something behind her had caught his eye instead. he squinted, ignoring her question entirely, jaw twitching but the spot didn't move again, if she were to look over her shoulder, the shadow would be gone. still, he felt watched. "this place is fucking creepy." he said, finally turning his attention back to her. "you get enough footage?" he was persistent to go back. "whatever junkheads are shacking up in here we should go before they com-" the horrible screech of a carousel jingle cut him off, the aluminum horse kicking into life. "fuck!" his hand clutched his chest, until the music lowered, and lowered, slowing until it died again.

[tusudor]

open  to  :  m / f / nb plot  :  hitch  hiker  …  beware  !  jk,  waylin's  actually  a  decent  guy  !  ... maybe  he's  the  one  who should  beware  ?  mayhaps not ? who  knows  !

it's  been  almost two  hours.  within  that time frame,  he's  turned  down  a  handful  of  rides.  the  first  few  had  been  lonely elderly  men  who  seemed  to  purposely  misunderstand  his  circumstance  …  as though his  request  for  a  ride  into  the  nearest  town  were code for  something  obscene.  the  last  had  been  a  couple,  relatively  normal  in  appearance  sans  eyes  with  blown  pupils  that  darted  around  mid  conversation  in  a  paranoid  fashion  and  the  glass pipes  scattered  in  their  backseat.  it'd  be  safe  to  say  :  he's  dodged  four  bullets.  feet  begin  to  drag  with  each  step  he  takes,  boots  stirring  up  the  dust  on  the  shoulder  of  the  road.  the  fabric  of  white  cotton  shirt  clings  to  him,  damp  with  sweat,  and  lead  weight  of  a  canvas  duffle  bag  slung  over  his  shoulder  only  adds  to  the  discomfort  of  it  all.  brown  eyes  will  cast  a  glance  to  the  field  of  common  reed  beside  him,  then  out  further  where  the  tree  line  begins,  silently  wondering  if  he  should  cut  his  losses  and  spend  the  night  out  there.  turns  on  that  idea,  just  as  he  does  his  heels,  to  face  the  road  behind  him,  now  taking  steps  backwards  with a hand  shielding eyes  in search  for  signs  of  life  on  the  long  stretch  of  highway. 

it's  then  when  he  catches  a  glimpse  of  their  car  climbing  over  the  hill,  an  image  rippled  by  heat  waves  that  rise  from  baking  asphalt,  out  of  focus  and  diffused  around the edges …  almost  dream  -  like.  there's  the  mechanical  whirl  of  the  chamber  —  readying  the  last  round  in  the  revolver.  arm  extends  out  to  the  road  instinctively,  a  thumbs  up  to  hail  them  down,  paired  with  the  friendliest  smile  he  could  muster,  muscles  working to ease the  fatigue  etched  on  features.  a  sliver  of  relief  is  felt  when  they  pull  over  just  some  feet  ahead. he stares at their license plate for a brief moment, tossing it forwards and backwards in his mind.  what  will  it  be  …  a  dud  or  a  hit  ?  in  a  few  long  strides,  he  makes  it  to  their  car  —  eyes  skimming  the  state  of  their  backseats  before  reaching  the  front  passenger  door.  he  rests   an   arm   over   their   car,   leaning   lightly   against   the   vehicle   to   ease   the   weight   on   tired   feet,   head   tilting   as   he   squints   at   them   through   the   open   window.  “  thanks  for  stoppin’ for me,  kind stranger.  any  chance  you’re  headin’  into  town  ?  ‘s  kind of  where  i’m  tryin’  to  get  to. “

[popsprincess]

the sun stretched on forever. the road adrift with sand and wind that carried onto everything. her hair, her clothes, it was tainted by the gusts of grit and tinges of red. the windows were down, and the ac must have been broken from the hundreth time she'd flipped and toggled the knobs until eventually giving up. there was a reason she picked a beat up mustang from '93. they didn't have the same alarm system as the newer cars did. no way to track the car, no built in GPS that would ping at every shitty gas station this far out from the city. it was just her and the open desert somewhere outside of vegas. if she could get far enough away, she could start over. before they ever realized she was gone. but they would, eventually, if they hadn't already when they were missing a lounge girl later tonight, or when the owner of this car left the club only to realize he'd been robbed.

it was all going accordingly. the morning air had turned stale, and the road was left forgiving than it was at night. sweat clung to the nape of her neck, curls pulled up and out of her face as her hand rested on the open window. freedom was only a county line away. until the car hiccupped, the tire split by a piece of junk metal in the road, before cluttering beneath the undercarriage and spit out the backend. "shit!" she hadn't been far from a gas station, but to whatever luck there was a tire in the back, and a kit to patch it until she could stop. but she couldn't just bring it into a shop. it would kill time she didn't have. every minute she was stuck out here in the open made her feel like a bird being hunted in the open sky.

she's been in the middle of conjuring an idea. when the idea appeared in the rearview mirror. skirting off to the side, she waited for him to approach. she'd had worse plans. her hair was down, freshly ruffled, a smile sweet as sin pulled between brims. "hey," she squinted as he leaned in. the sun was reaching it's peak. she could play the kind stranger, the one with no ulterior motives, for a bit. "yeah, actually i'm moving close by." but there was only just a single duffel in the backseat. "cars giving me trouble though, hit something in the road, managed to do a quick patch job but can't get the nuts off to change it. mind helpin' me out? i really don't want to get stuck in the desert, and i'll drop you off wherever you need to go." that part was honest.

[deryapinar]

she  swallowed  dry  the  moment  before  his  response  came,  shoulders  relaxing  slightly  even  if  absentmindedly,  though  face  continued  to  hold  its  manufactured  pose.  "i  said  that"  she  bites  back,  tossing  a  piece  of  hair  over  her  shoulder  as  chin  rises  to  watch  him  more  clearly.  "i  could  tell  she  wasn't  your  girlfriend,  that's  all  i'm  saying"  it's  not,  it  was  wishful  thinking,  an  impulsive  response  to  a  jealous  reaction.  and  yet,  she  crosses  her  arms.  "you  don't  look  like  you  like  her  enough  for  that"  as  if  she  could  be  the  one  to  judge  that.  "so,  it's  good  that  i'm  right"

[popsprincess]

the sharp edges of her had always been endearing, maybe he had only known how to lick affection, when it was inflicted with a point. he'd rather her fury, than her indifference. scream at him, tell him why he's being an son of a bitch. he'll listen, gladly. so long as it meant she was speaking to him again. the corners of his mouth remained unmoved, until she'd snapped forward like teeth and claws, and it made something inside him warm and hum. "yeah?" brow arched just slightly, god-he wanted to pull her forward and show her what it felt like when he did. but he had already been the one who wanted first, he wouldn't be the one who caved, too. "what do i look like when i do?" dark irises did enough to touch her without him lifting a finger. "like someone. i mean." would he be their punching bag? let them leave bite marks in replace of being wanted back? he's half tempted to let her.