Kurt the Puckzilla

Kurt Elijah Puckerman. Glee Club member, trashiest gay in all of McKinley, just ask anyone. Kurt Hummel Puckerman blog for switchedatbirthgleerp. Will not rp outside of the group

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

PRIVATE

Truly. She’s a sweetheart most of the time, but those outfits need to be thrown out before she blinds us all.

I guess there’s JBI or something, but I don’t know how old he is. It seems like he’s been in high school for ages, though, so I’m guessing you weren’t switched with him. It may surprise you to hear this coming from me, but I don’t blame you for not believing. Part of me isn’t so sure anymore, either. Not having a God to turn to is terrifying to me, which I’m sure sounds ridiculous to you. I’m glad you’ll keep something of your religion with you. I think traditions and your heritage are important. 

Well, you deserve better, too. No one deserves a dad like that. And I’m really sorry I always judged you and your brother based off of him and his last name and the rumors about you. It wasn’t right of me, but you obviously knew that already.

You don’t have to apologize. I was being a huge bitch and I was definitely going after you just as bad. And I’m sorry I did that. But you were right anyways. I defined myself by my family’s name and Noah and God, and I’ve already lost two of those three things…I’m terrified of losing Noah next. I’ve given him so much of me that if he left, I don’t know who I’d be anymore. I know you aren’t dating anyone or anything, but I think you understand that sort of thing, right? I can’t be the only one having an existential crisis, right?

Can I ask who else you’ve told? Have you told Jake yet?

PRIVATE

I’ve made it my personal mission, honestly. To make sure no more of them see the light of day. But she’s stubborn sometimes. 

I can’t imagine being related to JBI. Like that sounds horrible. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” He admitted with a shrug. He’s just such a dick. And he’s obnoxious. 

I don’t know. Part of me wonders if having faith would make this all easier. If I could believe in some sort of higher power. But instead I just feel angry all the time over it. 

You’re not the only one. It gets hard I get it. You have to force yourself to look in the mirror and acknowledge who you are by yourself, not as a part of anything else. I still struggle with that every day.I’m terrible at it. Boyfriend or no. 

Jake. And a friend of mine. From Scandals. Someone I knew wouldn’t judge me. What about you? 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Need You Now | Hevans

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

switchedsam:

At the mention of Kurt returning the stripping favor, Sam turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that,” Sam said honestly, a slight smirk on his face, though Kurt’s shimmy in response made that smirk turn into a laugh. He looked off to the distance for a moment as he imagined it and nodded again, “I would definitely be more than okay with that.” 

Sam smiled as Kurt kissed his cheek, his skin tingling just a bit from where Kurt kissed him. Weird. “I’m definitely not perfect,” Sam said, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure how anyone could think that about him, least of all Kurt. Kurt was so brave; he was out and unafraid to be whatever he wanted to be. Sam couldn’t even come out to his closest friends - or, hell, even to Kurt for that matter. He hadn’t even said the word gay out loud since he drunkenly confided in Santana that night all those months ago. 

“Your mom’s great,” Sam agreed after a moment. He didn’t know her, not really, but with how much Kurt respected and loved her, he knew she had to be something special. Kurt was a great judge of character. Well, most of the time.

Sam laughed with Kurt and pulled him in a little bit tighter. “We all know you wanna see me in nothing, too,” Sam teased. “But who would you be? Rizzo? Or maybe you’d be Danny and I’d be Kenickie. Or vice versa.” He wasn’t sure if automatically casting Kurt as a girl was offensive or not, but he was afraid it kinda might’ve been. But if Sam was Kenickie…Rizzo seemed to work.

“It sounds like at some point in the near future, we’ll have our night planned out for us.” He winked, laughing. He would definitely find a way to make this happen. Maybe he could find somewhere that would rent him a private room. Or he’d have to turn his bedroom into a stage...Plans already went through his head quickly, cycling through what he would have to do to have this fun and probably incredibly sexy moment with Sam in the near future. 

“No one’s perfect.” He agreed. “But I think you’re amazing. You come pretty damn close. At least as lose as I’ve ever seen someone from Lima be.” He admitted. “I don’t know how you do it. Be so sweet and kind despite the fact that so many people out there are assholes” he admitted. “I mean you always see the bright side in everyone.” Including him, but those words got caught in his throat. He wasn’t a good person. He wasn’t a kind one. But somehow that didn’t bother Sam at all. 

“My mom is awesome. And she loves you by the way.” He laughed. “A honest to god friend of mine who isn’t using me or bullying me. I think she might want to adopt you.” He teased. 

“Of course I would.” He said, one of the easiest things he’d ever admit. He thought about it for a second. “I could pull off Rizzo. Not really packing the right parts for it.” He teased with a laugh. “But I have more of a range for any of the girl parts versus the boys.” He admitted. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Confessions | Kurt & Jake

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

jakederekpuckerman:

Jake patted Kurt’s back to comfort him. “Its fine. You’re my brother and I’m not really touchy feely with anyone besides girls.” he shrugged. “Our family will be okay. I mean I will be okay. Its odd but yeah..” he paused for a moment and frowned. “Did you tell your mom?” he asked. He wondered how she would react. 

Jake scoffed at Kurt’s suggestion. “Scandals?” He asked raising his eyebrows. Going to scandals wasn’t exactly something he was wanting to do. Especially since his whole situation with girls was a little confusing at the moment. And he still wasn’t out as bi to anyone. “You really wanna go with me? You won’t ditch me at the end of the night?” he asked. If Kurt wanted to go Jake would go with him because it was his brother and he worried when he went out, especially in this state of mind. 

He sighed and looked up at Jake as he stepped back for a second. “Yeah. I told her first. She came to the appointment but I made her wait outside the room, so she wouldn’t be there, having to hear it from some stranger. But I told her. It hurt to have to tell her, but she swears it won’t change anything unless I want it to.” He said with a sigh. 

“You’re right. Scandals is a little much for you, I’m sure. And to be honest I haven’t been there in a while so there’s probably a bunch of people wanting to bitch about not seeing me. Why don’t we go somewhere you frequent.” He offered. “I don’t want a hookup tonight, I just want to hang out with my brother and not think about anything else going on in my life.” That included whatever relationship or non-relationship he had going on with Sam Evans, not that he’d ever tell Jake that and out his brother’s friend. 

[janexhay-blog]

I have never been this excited for Halloween! It’s going to be amazing and Im looking forward to be seeing all of your costumes.  On that note, I do not appreciate of people trying to touch my hair. Just because its in braids doesn’t mean you have the right to touch my hair. Got it? Good.

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Do people really try and touch your hair? How presumptuous. What are you dressing up as for Halloween? 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Need You Now | Hevans

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

switchedsam

Sam laughed quietly at Kurt’s offer, but then he shook his head. He was pretty sure it wasn’t necessarily Kurt’s thing, but it was nice for him to offer that. “It’s okay,” Sam said. Grease was a good alternative.

“You really wanna do that?” Sam asked with a laugh. “I thought you just liked tearing my pants off, not making them.” He grinned and nudged Kurt lightly before kissing him on the cheek. “We can make it happen, though, if you want. I wouldn’t mind.”

Sam nodded as Kurt talked. He wanted to know, too; what sort of family and life was Kurt supposed to have? Despite the hard exterior Kurt wore, he was actually sweet and pretty innocent in a way. Funny and kind of adorable at times…what would he be like if he had been born in the “right” family? Would other people be able to see the goodness in him? Would he be happier? Or would the family not accept him, either? Sam felt a rush of anger at the thought of that; hopefully whoever his really parents were, they actually respected him like he deserved. He didn’t want Kurt to have to deal with unaccepting family members ever again.

“He doesn’t deserve you or Jake,” Sam said simply, shaking his head. When Kurt said his mom was better than he deserved, Sam gave him a look. “What are you talking about? Your mom is great, but you deserve a great mom. Why wouldn’t you? Your mom deserved a better husband, but that’s not the point.”

Sam looked to the screen as Grease played. “I always thought I’d be a good Danny Zuko or Kenickie,” Sam said. “Do you think I could pull that off?”

Kurt smiled, so grateful for the man sitting beside him in that moment. He didn’t know how he managed to get someone so amazing into the trainwreck that was Kurt Puckerman. But he would take every minute he could get. Until Sam realized how terrible he truly was. He smiled at Grease on the screen and imagined them in those roles. 

“I mean it may be painful, seeing you tear off clothes I designed but the end result would be worth the pain.” He winked, smiling at Sam. “And hey, maybe I’ll repay the favor if you want?” He suggested, shimmying his shoulders in a small attempt at sexy dancing. 

“Thank you.” He said, hearing everything that Sam said. “You are so perfect.” He leaned, kissing Sam’s cheek. “I mean you came over here when I needed and talked to me about all this...” he sighed, taking Sam’s hand. “My mom is the best. She’s been so understanding and supportive and she hasn’t let what my dad said ruin things between us. I love her. I can’t ever imagine not having her.” 

He looked over at Sam, smiling. “I think you could. Definitely. I’d come see you in Grease. I’d see you in anything, honestly.” He said with a laugh. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

PRIVATE

Sounds like something befitting of the devil, honestly. Any chance these were homeless people? Or hipsters loving them ironically? 

Thanks. I hope so, too, even though I really don’t want Kitty to be switched or anything. Honestly, it’s really likely that would happen, so…hopefully you aren’t a McCarthy. Being killed sounds pretty painful. I don’t know. I guess Ryder isn’t necessarily like his parents, since they’re all super intellectual and all, and Ryder’s not dumb, but he’s not a future PhD candidate…so maybe? It’d be kind of funny because he’s already “bros” with your brother. I don’t know, but I guess it’s unlikely that you’re actually Jewish, huh?

At least there’s a silver lining, I guess. That’s something to remember. Honestly he sounds like a jerk, so who needs him? Your whole family sounds better off. Yeah…I don’t know, I don’t know if they meant to or anything. For all I know Franny felt the same pressure, just minus the whole perfect older sister thing. 

It’s just…do you remember earlier this year, how you told me I defined myself by things like Noah and my family? Well, you were right. And now I really don’t know who I am anymore. Because if I hadn’t been raised by them…I don’t think I’d be whoever this is.

PRIVATE

I can’t prove it, but I suspect that would be who. I can’t imagine most people who aren’t blind being okay with that stupid animal sweater shit. 

I get it. It’s a fine line to walk between wanting to be with a family that you know and not wanting to put someone else through something like this. I don’t know who I would want to be switched with. I’m just glad that there are a few definitely off the list. I’m sure you’re right. The only other Jewish kid within our age that I know of is Madison. But I don’t think that it’ll change how I feel about religion. I’ll keep some of the traditions but I don’t really...especially now I can’t get behind the idea of a God. That’s a lot to ask of me after everything.

Yeah, I get it. But still, you deserve better. A lot better. We may not be what either of us would consider friends, but still. 

I’m sorry. I’m an asshole, but I’m not the type of asshole who would put those feelings on someone who was really struggling with that. I know what bullying feels like, I wouldn’t want to do it to someone else. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Confessions | Kurt & Jake

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

jakederekpuckerman:

Jake inhaled sharply as Kurt spoke. There is was. Out there in the open, exactly what he feared. He could tell that Kurt was getting emotionally and Jake wasn’t really like that. He felt numb when he got upset. He licked his lips and nodded. “Oh” It was all he could say at the moment.

As Kurt came closer he shook his head. “I know that.” he nodded. “Hey maybe I was switched too and we actually are related.” He chuckled lightly but instantly stopped because this wasn’t a time to joke. If he was switched for real he didn’t know how his mother would react. Heartbroken is the only word that comes to mind. 

“We’re still brothers.” he said reassuring him. Jake wasn’t much of a hugger but he pulled Kurt into his arms. He felt that Kurt needed it. He couldn’t imagine how crazy it was from his point of view. “No test is gonna change that. I promise” 

Kurt sighed and looked over at Jake. He wanted to laugh and he just couldn’t make himself. He thankfully managed to keep from crying, but it was a close call. He could feel it, right there behind his eyes, like it threatened to bust out at any second. He sighed, leaning into his younger brother. 

“Thanks. I know that this isn’t really your scene, the whole comfort thing. But I appreciate you being here and listening to me.” He said from his brother’s chest. “I just...have been so worried about telling you. We finally have this good thing, you and I and our moms and now...” he sighed and stepped back. “So that was my big news.” He said with a shrug, like it wasn’t a big deal. “I think we should do something to make this way less heavy.” He said with a small smile that he didn’t quite feel. “What do you want to do? I bet there are a few straight girls at Scandals with their gay friends.” He nudged his brother, offering a distraction. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Need You Now | Hevans

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

switchedsam:

“I’m not the biggest sports movie fan anyways. But are superheroes off limits?” After a moment he shook his head, “Nah, I’ll find something else. We don’t need you checking out Chris Evans…” He was mostly teasing, since he’d also definitely be checking out pretty much any of the Chrises, too. He searched through Netflix for a few moments to find something he figured Kurt would like, since that seemed like the better choice. He hummed before finally settling on Grease. He loved that movie, and he figured Kurt did, too.

When Kurt rejoined him, Sam wrapped an arm around him again and gave him a small squeeze. He definitely still needed it. “I don’t have any tearaway pants, though,” Sam mused. Where would you even buy those sorts of things? How did strippers get their clothes? It all made no sense to him.

“Maybe Mason, yeah,” Sam said, frowning a little. He had thought Mason was a cool dude, then he flipped on Ryder for no reason. He honestly had no idea what to think of him after that. But that brought up another thought: Ryder? Could that be who Kurt was switched with? Sam looked Kurt over; there was no way he looked like a Lynn. But wouldn’t that be crazy? Like, what if Sam was meant to be best friends with Kurt? Where would they be in terms of their relationship if they had grown up together like he and Ryder did?

Sam snapped himself out of it as Kurt kept talking and frowned again. Before he could even assure him there was no way he was switched with Karofsky, he went on about his dad. For a moment, Sam assumed he was just being melodramatic. Sam watched a lot of TV and stuff; he knew a lot of kids of divorce and stuff would like think they caused the divorce somehow. Maybe that’s what was happening.

But, no, Kurt seemed to be serious. His dad really left because of him. “Your dad’s a dick,” Sam said suddenly. “Not your dad, I guess, but…god…” Sam clenched his jaw for a moment. Family was so important to him, so the idea of someone just leaving was already something Sam couldn’t comprehend. But leaving because of a kid? Any respect he ever could’ve had for that man was definitely gone.

“He doesn’t deserve to have you for a son,” Sam said simply. “Any guy in this town would be lucky to have you. And there’s no way you’re a Karofsky or anything like that.” Of course, Sam couldn’t know for sure, but he wasn’t going to say that there was a possibility or something, not when Kurt was obviously upset over it.

“I dunno, staring at shirtless guys would be nice. We could watch Deadpool, if that would make you feel better.” He offered. “Or one of the Spiderman movies. I know how much you love that.” He offered, smiling. 

“I could design you tearaway pants.” He teased, winking at the other teen. “Especially if I get to see them in action.” He laughed, enjoying the imagine in his head of Sam in tearaway pants. He wanted to see it, and he’d cling to the image in his head. 

“Whoever it is, I just want to know. I want to get the call that they’ve figure out who I’m switched with. But who knows how long that will take.” He leaned into Sam, curling against him affectionately. It felt nice. 

“Of course he is.” He said honestly, sounding more like himself than he had felt all night, all snark and silver tongued anger. “He cheated on my mom. He hated me. Told me all the time. Hated that I wanted to dance and I loved fashion and the second that I realized what gay was I knew that was what I was. And he hated that I could have come from him. He finally got the son he wanted in Jake and he turned his back on him too because he’s a selfish bastard.” He shook his head. 

“It would be nice to get a dad that actually cared. Whoever he is. But I don’t think I could ever call another woman Mom. My mom is...way better than I deserve.” 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

PRIVATE

Oh god, you’re kidding, right? How have you not stopped her by now? You really might need to do that. And make her watch it on video for good measure. Maybe then she’ll learn.

She looks a lot like Franny, really - my sister. We joked about it all the time. And we basically grew up like sisters, so it would be the best case scenario. But who knows. Rachel and I don’t have the best of relationships, either, but there are worst families to be in, I guess. Just be prepared for Rachel to melt down if that’s the case. 

Yeah, I would figure not being a Puckerman would be a relief. No offense, I mean, it’s your dad that gave your family that reputation in the first place. So not being related to him is a score. I just…for me, I tried so hard to be a member of my family, even down to bleaching my hair. I never really felt like I just was one. And I guess I just assumed everyone felt like that. 

PRIVATE

I have tried and tried and tried. She just keeps pulling more from the depths of her closet. I swear I have raided it, Quinn has raided it. We thought we grabbed them all and just...they keep coming. She claims people in Chicago liked it. Which is insane. 

I could see it. I guess only time will tell. I hope for your sake, that’s who you were switched with. Oh god Rachel will kill me. We’re newly friends and I’m pretty sure me being the thing that confirms that she and Mason aren’t related would literally ruin our friendship forever. So as much as I think it would fit, I’m actually hoping that’s not the case. But who else would I be switched with? Ryder? I haven’t really seen any other guys confessing to being switched. Just everyone confessing they aren’t. 

He was a piece of shit and being told I’m not his blood relative is the only thing that is good that came from this. I certainly think if he was around for this he’d be throwing a damn party. I get it. I mean I never really tried to fit into my family. After all, it’s not like we shared interests. But I can see how hard it would be to cope with, trying to fit in when you aren’t meant to. At least you don’t have to pretend with them anymore? Though it’s fucked up that they would make you feel like you had to anyways. Just saying. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Confessions | Kurt & Jake

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

jakederekpuckerman:

Jake had no idea what to expect when it came to Kurt’s news. If they had to talk in person it must be bad then right? Jake hadn’t worried about his own test results until now. Knowing that Kurt probably wasn’t his brother made him feel sick. After everything they went through finding out about each other in the first place. Jake didn’t know what to feel. But he didn’t want to jump the gun until he heard it from Kurt. He woudln’t believe it until then. 

Jake was down the hall in his bedroom when he heard Kurt come in. He was about to step out into the hallway when he heard Kurt speak again. Jake swallowed thickly and nervously. It wasn’t unusual to have Kurt walk in the house. Their moms had become best friends and they were a little happy family now. Or so Jake thought. 

He walked out of his room, his head hung low. “Its bad isn’t it?” he asked. Jake crossed his arms and looked over at his older brother. No one ever thought they were related and especially not Kurt his older brother. Jake was taller and bigger than Kurt was. But Jake had that baby face when he shaved, which today was not the case. “Just give it to be straight. Rip it off like a band-aid.” he said. 

Kurt saw Jake and he almost wanted to take it all back. Just keep lying, keep the other teen believing they were related. How could he possibly do this? He couldn’t hurt his brother. But he couldn’t lie. Not to Jake. He could lie to a million other people around here, but not to his little brother. He swallowed, nodding rather than saying anything else for just a second. 

“I got my results.” He said without any further uncertainty. “I was switched.” He looked up at Jake, trying really hard not to break down and cry. He felt so silly for being this upset. Given the circumstances, he bet Jake would love to be able to claim that he wasn’t related to their father. But it felt like turning his back on his small family right then. 

“It doesn’t change that you’re my brother, not really.” he rushed to reassure the younger teen. “I don’t care who they say I’m related to, you and your mom and my mom, we’re family. Always. I just...I couldn’t lie to you.” He said. “Please tell me we’re still brothers. I think I need to hear it.” 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

PRIVATE

At least we can agree on something. Well, something besides the fact that I also assume you hate Madison’s sweaters as much as I do.

There’s no way I could be anything but a Wilde if I’m not a Fabray. I don’t even know who else I could be switched with if not Kitty. I don’t know other people’s birthdays that well, either, so I can’t be much help for you. But…I don’t know…

Did finding out kind of weirdly make sense to you?

PRIVATE

I want to burn every single one of those sweaters and make her watch. She bought more in Chicago. They are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen.

It would make sense. You guys even look a little alike, I guess. Makes sense you would be switched with each other. I could maybe see being a McCarthy? I don’t know Mason’s birthday, but Rachel and I bonded pretty quickly. And I don’t know...it’s not like I can imagine myself being any other family. 

It really did. And even though it upset me because of Jake and my mom, it was a relief. My dad wasn’t a good guy. And knowing that he isn’t actually my dad, it’s a relief. Something that helps me breathe a little easier. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Need You Now | Hevans

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

switchedsam:

“I think my closet is too full right now,” Sam said, kind of proud of himself for being able to joke about it. “I’ll think about it, though.” He laughed at the idea of Kurt trying to dress him, though. He had a feeling it would be too fancy for him. He loved Kurt’s clothes, really, but for him. Sam wasn’t interested in most everything else.

“They will,” Sam said quietly, but firmly. He couldn’t imagine anyone leaving Kurt just because of the switch thing. That wasn’t how families worked. Yeah, Kurt’s family wasn’t as tight-knit as his, but still. He paused for a moment and wondered what word Kurt would’ve used to describe him. Friend? That seemed to make the most sense. “Of course.”

“Chinese sounds great,” Sam agreed as he noticed just how hungry he was. Hey, he was a teenage boy, after all. “Really great.” He nodded at the idea of a movie, though he was a little curious where Kurt wanted the night to lead. He figured he had to follow his lead on whatever happened since he didn’t want to push Kurt into something. Obviously.

Sam smiled as Kurt laughed at his impression. It was nice that he could make him smile, even with how awful he was feeling. “Yeah, lots of people say that,” Sam said, keeping up his impression with a grin and a movement of one of his hands. He rolled his eyes when Kurt called him hot, but then started to smile widely as he switched it around and said Sam, not Matthew, was the hotter one. “That Sam kid sounds lucky,” Sam said, his impression still going. But then, as himself, he admitted, “That Sam guy might even be willing to try some Magic Mike moves for you sometime.” He raised an eyebrow at Kurt and gave him a half-shrug before letting them sit in a comfortable silence.

At Kurt’s question, Sam sighed. “I…uh, don’t know. I can’t think of anyone’s birthday or anything,” Sam said. He scratched the back of his neck with his freehand and tried to think over the guys at school. “It’s hard to imagine anyone being switched with you. You’re like…not like anyone else around here. In a good way.” He gave Kurt a small smile. “It’s true. I mean, Ry and I are basically the same person. Minus…well, this whole thing,” Sam said, gesturing to him and Kurt. “I can’t imagine you being anyone else but you, ‘cause I don’t know anyone else like you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He was shocked that Sam could joke about something like that, but Kurt was going to jump in on it while he could if that was the case. If he couldn’t joke about it, eventually he would go insane. Kurt wasn’t a nice guy most times and Sam seemed to prompt a special exception in him that he hadn’t quite tried to understand. 

Kurt hurt a little that Sam didn’t offer something up as a solution to what they were but he understood. Their relationship was complicated at best and it was his own fault that they didn’t have clarity. Kurt encouraged something he probably shouldn’t. “Chinese it is.” He promised with a smile, nodding. “I’ll order if you pick the movie. Just...please not a sports movie. I swear that I will do anything if you promise not to make it a sports movie.” He practically begged Sam. He stood, moving to grab a menu before ordering food for the both of them. He returned to look over at Sam. “I really can’t wait to see those Magic Mike moves later.” He told Sam, curling up at his side. 

“I don’t know. I just...I can’t think of anyone I would want to be switched with. I guess Mason would make sense, though I don’t know his birthday. Ryder seems like a nice guy.” He sighed, shrugging. “I guess only time will tell. Maybe it will be a stranger. It’s not like all of us could have been switched within New Directions. Someone probably outside of the club is my switch. It’s not like I can’see being related to any of the other ones.” He scoffed. “I’m a little scared though.” He admitted quietly. “That I could be switched with someone like Karofsky. But hopefully not. Hopefully it’s a family I can stand and that can stand me and maybe I could actually have a dad that doesn’t hate me enough to run out on my mom?” He sucked in a breath as he realized what he was revealing to Sam. 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

PRIVATE

Yeah…yeah, I wouldn’t tell anyone that as a joke, least of all you. No offense.

I don’t…know. There’s no way they could’ve messed up that much. And I’m pretty sure I’m a Wilde anyways. We have the same birthday and everything.

PRIVATE

None taken. You weren’t exactly my top choice for second person outside of my mom to confess this to. 

I honestly don’t know whose birthday I share that I would even begin to look at. I don’t make a habit of noticing anyone’s birthdays other than my friends if I’m being honest. All I can rule out is Jake for obvious reasons, Sam, and Finn.

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

PRIVATE

You were switched?

…I was, too.

PRIVATE

Wait...Seriously? I haven’t talked to anyone else who was switched. Is there a chance we really were switched? I mean I don’t know if there were switches across genders or whatever...

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

thequinnrose:

You’re the best. And you of know that I love you too. It has? I’m sorry the weekend has sucked for you. But we’ll go shopping, have an amazing time and get your mind off whatever is getting to you.

It’s alright. Not your fault. I just moped all weekend. Feel like I wasted it. That sounds perfect. You are the greatest. And we’ve got to drag Madison out too. Because she bought more animal sweaters. Animal sweaters, Quinn!

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

marleyfaprays:

I don’t know what I’ve done to make you think I’m lying about anything I say. Just because some supposed “Christians” have claimed to believe and then went against their values doesn’t mean I’m the same way. I’m not. And I have no intentions of marrying more than once, let alone seven. And - 

Wait…What?

Because everything about you screams fake? You seem like one giant lie. 

Shut up. I didn’t say anything. Don’t you fucking repeat that I swear to fucking God! 

[porcelainpuckerman-blog]

Confessions | Kurt & Jake

How did he tell his little brother that they weren’t related? He felt like he was going to be sick. Jake should have been the first person he confided in beside his mom and instead he had spent the night telling Sam and telling the other teen how scared he was. But now he was going to bite the bullet and confess to Jake. 

It didn’t take long to get to Jake’s house and he let himself in. It was a little invasive, but he figured considering they were related...He sighed, shaking his head. They weren’t related and that was the whole point. 

“Jake?” He called out, looking around for the other teen. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out.” He called out. “I just needed to talk to you. I’m okay and all and my mom’s alright.” He wasn’t sure how much Jake would care about his mom, but he wanted to reassure the other boy that everyone was okay. “I just need to tell you something kind of big.” 

@jakederekpuckerman